advice needed...marriage/engagement problem.

[BetteDavisEyes]

Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul

She said yes to you while you were a pizza delivery guy. That means that, degree or no, you are worthy of her love, that she LOVES you, and doesn't care about the prestige of your job.


Never let anyone deny you your dignity because of your job. You work, you make an honest living. That is nothing to be ashamed of.

Co-sign to both!

She loves you. The title and prestige of your job is of little importance to her. 3 years is definitely long enough. She has stuck by you through all these years so it's time to go through with marrying a good woman.

[SOPi_Jawbreaker]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

If you're post-poning this wedding because you feel inadequate, that's a problem. But if it's as simple as you not wanting to deliver pizzas, find another job. And I'm not talking about one that's necessarily in your career field, but a job that you might feel more comfortable telling people about. You were a communications major. Why not get a job that allows you to work with people? Maybe something in customer services. You could work at the front desk in a hotel. You could get a job at the bank as a teller. You could be a receptionist in a small company. And jobs like this will most likely help you to transition into something that you really want to do someday (and they'll look better on a resume).

If you're looking to get out of pizza delivery, I agree with ASTalumna06 about being open to positions that might not be in the communication field. I work in data management (data entry, data review) for clinical drug trials, and we have people from all sorts of backgrounds. I have a co-worker who was a teacher, a co-worker who went to the police academy, and a co-worker who went to art school. I've also had co-workers that majored in computer science, political science, economics, history, and art history. Working in data management is probably not where they thought they would be, but they do like it. And the co-worker who used to be a teacher just transferred into the training department. Now, she's going to be traveling to investigator sites and training their staff, so she is getting to do something education related now.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by LowLite

If you were in my shoes how would you handle the situation? You guys have always given great advice.

Thanks in advance

Marry when you are ready. I saw where you mentioned money as an issue. Money management is a lengthy and involved topic, but while you are delivering pizza, I think the both of you (If/when you do marry her), need to sit down with a financial counselor and plan an airtight budget, and then stay with it. Also, more importantly I would make sure the two of you communicate openly and honestly. Problems and differences in a marriage are not bad, but not being able to communicate with each other, rather it be how you feel about your situation, money or whatever, can cause some severe problems. Communication is to love what blood is to the body. When it stops flowing, your marriage/relationship with this woman dies. Communication is everything.

Good luck to you. You'll find something soon.

Keep doing what you're doing and make sure the load isn't put on her. I'm not sure if you go to church, have/read your bible, but if you do, read (1 Timothy 5:8) It will help you.

[When Doves Cry]

So I asked my boyfriend what he would in your situation. And his answer (to getting married) was "hells yeah" because then he wouldn't have to work and he can stay home and play video games.
he was kidding of course. lol. but he said if he couldnt find a job and I had an awesome job, he wouldn't mind at all. And he also said he would never make me wait 3 years to get married (after getting engaged).

[RU OX Alum]

Originally Posted by When Doves Cry

So I asked my boyfriend what he would in your situation. And his answer (to getting married) was "hells yeah" because then he wouldn't have to work and he can stay home and play video games.
he was kidding of course. lol. but he said if he couldnt find a job and I had an awesome job, he wouldn't mind at all. And he also said he would never make me wait 3 years to get married (after getting engaged).

I was thinking that that is what I would do. (stay home and play video games, that is)

[cheerfulgreek]

o.k. what is it with guys and video games?

[RU OX Alum]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

o.k. what is it with guys and video games?

they're fun

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by RU OX Alum

they're fun

I think they're like a new form of drug addiction.

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

o.k. what is it with guys and video games?

It's just not guys...

[Fawn Liebowitz]

If you believe you've found the love of your life, don't risk losing her. True love/love that can last forever is much too hard to find.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

It's just not guys...

I get it now.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Fawn Liebowitz

If you believe you've found the love of your life, don't risk losing her. True love/love that can last forever is much too hard to find.

I think he mentioned something in another thread about his job. I think he's unemployed now....according to the post. I forgot where I saw it.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by When Doves Cry

So I asked my boyfriend what he would in your situation. And his answer (to getting married) was "hells yeah" because then he wouldn't have to work and he can stay home and play video games.
he was kidding of course. lol. but he said if he couldnt find a job and I had an awesome job, he wouldn't mind at all. And he also said he would never make me wait 3 years to get married (after getting engaged).

I agree, I wouldn't make her wait 3 years either, but at the same time I would have never gotten engaged to her knowing I couldn't provide for her financially. If that's what works in your relationship then cool, but I think the OP needs to start bringing in some income so he can provide a place for her both materially and financially. We have this erroneous notion in our society that it's romantic for a young couple to get married, penniless but passionate and then live on love a while. That state of being gets old real fast. It takes money to have even a modest honeymoon , to set up a home, to provide, and eventually to provide for children if he has any. IMO, the income for the family is the husband's responsibility. I understand many woman work and that's cool. Two incomes are always better than one, but IMO the primary responsibility for providing for her rest on the man. I didn't say he had to make more money than her, I'm just saying it's his responsibility to serve and provide for her. That's hard to do delivering pizzas.

[LightBulb]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I didn't say he had to make more money than her, I'm just saying it's his responsibility to serve and provide for her. That's hard to do delivering pizzas.

That is what it sounds like you're saying, though. He's already working (though not making more money than her).

[33girl]

Originally Posted by LowLite

She tells me it's ok and that she and her parents would pay. My parents also want to see us marry and are willing to help pay for a nice wedding.

I think that this is the crux of it - I don't think you would be as upset if the parents weren't involved and it was just between the two of you.

You can have a nice wedding without breaking the bank. It just sounds like she and her parents want to have something huge and ornate and are thinking more about the wedding than the marriage.

I don't know what facet of comm you focused on, but if you're trying to get into radio, unless you are Howard Stern, I pretty much GUARANTEE you - your wife is always going to make more than you. A lot of positions, unless you are in NYC or LA - you're not going to be making big bucks. Not that they won't be enjoyable, but don't think you're going to be rich.

Try a temp agency if you haven't already. And sit down with her and reevaluate what exactly the wedding is going to be.