Personal ad gripe. Who should pay? Him or her? He's not worthy if he doesn't pay?

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

It's different when it's about race or something though than age or weight even. But that said, I'm realizing that it doesn't work that way for me so much. Unfortunately I think I'm going to be one of those people who identifies as an orientation that will always require an explanation unless around similar people.

/sapio, right now at least. Work in progress.

Yeah, I'd have to say that racial preferences don't bother me. I think most people have some sort of preference but it's not politically correct, especially if you're part of a minority group, to admit it. I just wondered because I've read articles where (mostly Black) women will complain about Black men being vocal about their preference of White or Asian women.

At least they're being honest, so you don't waste your time sending a message to a man who's not attracted to you?

I'm just realizing that the more experience I get, I know what I want and more especially what I DO NOT want, so I can't really hate on someone for expressing it.

[Drolefille]

Eh, I can get a general preference, or a pattern of dating, but "I'm not interested in you because of your skin color..." eh. I've only dated white guys, but I'm not going to exclude black guys up front. I think the only real 'preference' I have in my okcupid profile is the ability to type in full sentences. The acknowledgement of my current relationship(s) is a standard requirement, but I'm just making them self-select for it by putting it out there.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Eh, I can get a general preference, or a pattern of dating, but "I'm not interested in you because of your skin color..." eh. I've only dated white guys, but I'm not going to exclude black guys up front. I think the only real 'preference' I have in my okcupid profile is the ability to type in full sentences. The acknowledgement of my current relationship(s) is a standard requirement, but I'm just making them self-select for it by putting it out there.

The men who are so particular about their women and are not of the same caliber are a hoot. That goes for body and everything else.

I've found that I can't really set a preference about men because it is all so variable. There have been mostly white guys, but that has been a factor of where I have lived, as well as work and education, and perhaps who is mutually attracted to me in those places. It is really hard to put into words what I look for or avoid as I see each guy as an individual and he may have the right combination of qualities that can over come a factor that would doom another guy, and then there's the me component thrown in there as well.

Of those white guys though, majority Irish/Scotch Irish with brown hair/eyes. I swear some unknown force that causes Irish men to get all hot and bothered by my Nordic charms (or my ginger genes?), that includes my fellas and those who would like to be my fella. My father was blonde, and had blue eyes so it isn't like I'm subconsciously dating my father.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

The men who are so particular about their women and are not of the same caliber are a hoot. That goes for body and everything else.

Aka Sharp Knees Syndrome.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Aka Sharp Knees Syndrome.

I thought that was Dwight at first, oh my.

When I was in college there were lots of cheap dates, and usually he'd pay since we were students but then I'd cook us a meal or something. I think it depends on the two people and their financial circumstances and how they suss out gender roles and money. I've never paid for a first date but I do like my sister Dee does and offer some reciprocation or contribution until there's an agreed upon pattern or standard. I dated a guy who always paid when we went out, my money was worthless and it was an insult to offer but he was accepting of me cooking, buying or making him gifts, getting take out, but if we were in public together, he paid. He didn't have a problem with my driving or taking my car, because that would have been unacceptable.

I'm really not that into dating right now anyway. I'll be making a change in location or career in the next year and it doesn't seem like a good time to start something. It isn't that I'm closed off, but I'm not in hot pursuit like Roscoe P. Coltrane either. If I meet someone, great, if not no worries. This guy I used to see keeps contacting me but I think he's tied to the area and I stayed here in support of two relationships and I am beyond ready to go.

[navane]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

It isn't that I'm closed off, but I'm not in hot pursuit like Roscoe P. Coltrane either.

I don't really have anything to contribute to the conversation at the moment - I just wanted to compliment you on the Dukes of Hazzard reference.

.....Kelly

[Tre1911]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

QFP.

The stereotype that a man's heart is linked to his stomach has nothing to do with your rhetorical questions. You and your dates will work out the payment system. There are women who don't care whether a man pays. At the same time, there are men who get outraged and feel as though women are shrinking their scrotum if we pay or even offer to pay. Figure it out.

/ignoring that this may be troll

Hahahaha thanks Nupe. I'm feeling you on this.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

You should always pay for the first date as compensation for the accidental sex. You never know where that penis will end up.

I'm still down with going dutch and I wouldn't just hit it the first night.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Seriously? This is so dumb. I think the world has somehow gotten us to believe that "the way to a guy's heart is through his body". That's a lie. But the bigger lie is buried in the center of that statement because it implies that we women have nothing else to offer except our bodies.

I'm old fashioned. As we date, I believe in taking care of one another, but on a first date? Uh, uh...he'd better pay for me or there won't be a 2nd date. I don't expect him to wine and dine me at an expensive restaurant on the first date, but I expect him to behave like a gentleman.

Why is that dumb? No offense, but if some girl told me I better pay for her or no 2nd date, I'd call some ol' bullshit on that. I'd just move on to another girl if that were the case. There are more of yall than there are of us. Plenty of fish in the sea to worry about the demands of just one.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Tre1911

Hahahaha thanks Nupe. I'm feeling you on this.

^^ Perp

[Tre1911]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

^^ Perp

Why do yall keep thinking I'm a perp. I am really a Nupe. For real. Where are the rest of the bruhs?

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Tre1911

Why do yall keep thinking I'm a perp. I am really a Nupe. For real. Where are the rest of the bruhs?

Really bad perp.

[Tre1911]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Really bad perp.

Are you a Nupe? I didn't think so.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Tre1911

Are you a Nupe? I didn't think so.

Hey, look we have something in common.

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Tre1911

Why do yall keep thinking I'm a perp. I am really a Nupe. For real. Where are the rest of the bruhs?

You and I are both Nupes. Kool.

[Tre1911]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Hey, look we have something in common.

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.

I always wear a jimmy hat.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.