"Back in the day," you didn't miss meetings or mandatory unless there was a dang good reason. We didn't need incentives; for the most part, we wanted to do these things. As a new member class, being together as much as possible it important to the health of the organization, and allows for maximum bonding opportunities and hopefully, satisfaction with your organization.
If you aren't 100% into it, and don't feel that you can commit in the way that needs/deserves to be, please don't take the place of someone who really wants to be there.
I'm not saying that commuters can't be a great part of a sorority, or that you need to be "rich", but there is a level of expectations that needs to met - and I can speak as a member of both an NPC and a National service sorority - in order to be a member. If you really want it, I would guess that you'd do whatever you had to do. I know girls who worked a bunch of jobs, had lots of additional commitments, or who commuted, and you couldn't tell a difference between that person and the on-campus people, and then there were the few girls that tried every excuse in the books.
Not saying that you will be that way, but if you can't meet that demand - and this is not a judgement, but a suggestion based on years of experience - join a club that doesn't have as many commitments. Then again, anything you join will have some expectations. Just don't promise what you're not sure you can deliver.
Good luck in whatever you do.
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