Members of your GLO who contact you for job assistance then "screw you"

winneythepooh7 · #1 07-09-2005, 09:09 AM

OKAY I am kind of heated right now. A few months ago, a younger woman who is a member of my org who supposedly is getting her Master's in Social Work from the school I graduated from contacted me (via email and phone) for assistance in finding a job. We talked extensively a few times and I agreed to forward her resume to several of the programs in my agency (never promising her anything obviously). Well, the first interview in one of the programs she cancelled due to a supposed death of a friend of her family of something. Fine. So I guess she interviewed in another program and I get an email this morning from the Director of the program basically saying "We've been contacting your friend for her transcripts 3x so we can offer her the position and she hasn't gotten back to us. Please follow up." I emailed the Director back to CLARIFY that she wasn't my "friend" I was doing a good deed because she contacted me. I don't know where I am going with this really, but I am feeling kind of heated because her irresponsibility is making me look bad. Sure, something may have happened that she couldn't have contacted them, however, in the age of cell phones, I still find that hard to accept. I am thinking of emailing her later today as well. I don't want to come off as a bitch, but at the same time, I want her to understand it is not cool to use a fellow alumna and then act irresponsible like this. Has anyone else ever had something like this happen before?

sigmadiva · #2 07-09-2005, 12:14 PM

Kinda sorta. One of my sorority sisters called me anxious about a new project she wanted to do. We talked on the phone for a long time about it and when I would see her I would always encourage her. Well, she did not follow through on the project.

People are people, letters or not. You would hope that since you both have similar backgrounds - school, sorority - that she would value those connections like you do, but for some reason she does not. All in all I would not get too angry about it. You did what you could do and you should feel satsfied knowing that.

SmartBlondeGPhB · #3 07-09-2005, 01:06 PM

I would (as politely as possible) express my anger with her and tell her not to contact you again for any help. She obviously needs to grow up.

Tom Earp · #4 07-09-2005, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SmartBlondeGPhB
I would (as politely as possible) express my anger with her and tell her not to contact you again for any help. She obviously needs to grow up.

You Can only do so Much!

You cannot gaurentee Her a Job, that is on Her Shoulders, not yours!

If She Cannot Make it, that is Her Problem!!!!!

Never Feel Bad. You did what You could do!

Debutante · #5 07-09-2005, 10:23 PM

in how you feel! Yes, I have been in this same position..trying to help someone & their lack of professionalism reflected on me, simply because I was the referral. I would definitely contact her by phone and tell her how you feel. Hopefully by now you have cooled off a bit so she can be receptive to what you have to say. As you know, people rarely will listen to people who are yelling at them

Tell her that you referred her because you thought she was a PROFESSIONAL woman. Let her know that you had expected her to follow through on any interviews you had helped her to get. I would also let her know that like it or not, her actions are a reflection of you.(It isn't fair to hold YOU responsible for another person's actions, but sadly, that is just how many companies operate). As the previous post suggests, I would also tell her not to contact you in the future for any other job recommendations.

I empathize with you. I have been in my career for 13 years, and I see this kind of thing a lot! There is a TON of backstabbing in my industry

Good luck!

winneythepooh7 · #6 07-11-2005, 08:33 AM

Thanks for the advice everyone. I am not as initially heated as I was over the weekend, especially because I got a cool email back from the Director of that program, stating basically she just wanted ME to be aware of what type of person this is and she still thinks I am a good SW

despite this person. In any event, I learned my lesson and in the future, I think I would actually like to MEET someone who wants me to help them out. I've also learned some more ?????'s to ask potential employees thanks to this experience

. I am still debating whether or not to email her. For some reason I don't think she'd get it, nor care.

moe.ron · #7 07-11-2005, 08:53 AM

Forget about being polite. God midevil on her arse. You try to hook her up, instead, she ends up making you look bad.

Tom Earp · #8 07-11-2005, 04:20 PM

moe.ron, A+++S for Your answer!

You Did, She Did, You Did Good, She Screwed Up, ergo Screw Her!

adpiucf · #9 07-14-2005, 10:03 AM

I'd tell her she embarrassed you and compromised your integrity by her not following up after you'd recommended her. It's not so much as if she'd interviewed, gotten an offer and declined-- that's not a reflection of you. But as being recommended, it reflected back on you and you don't appreciate it. Remind her that your industry runs in the same circles and that you will remember her name should anyone ask your opinion about her for future positions within or outside your company.

The rules of business:
1) Don't burn your bridges (she clearly has!)
2) Choose your battles carefully
3) Listen to understand
4) Be nice and have fun!

communicate your irritation. It will help her in the future.

BetteDavisEyes · #10 08-08-2005, 01:21 PM

I was contacted by a sister that actually was in during the same time as I though she was in the pledge class after mine. She needed help with her writing class (we were the same major) & was having a hard time. I helped her out and she wrote a paper (on her own) that I though would garner her a B (she wasn't a good writer but this was her best effort). When I asked her how she did, she said she got an A's and B's on all her subsequent papers. I was very proud of her until one day, I was looking for my old computer discs where my work was stored. Every one of them was missing. I later learned that she stole my discs (3 of them) and just changed the name on the papers & turned them in figuring she wouldn't be caught b/c though we shared a major, we didn't have the same professors most of the time. I was royally pissed & when I was able to confront her, she calmly gave me back the discs & sent me a gift card for a restaurant as an apology. I would have ratted her out but I don't know what good it would have done.

honeychile · #11 08-08-2005, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by adpiucf
I'd tell her she embarrassed you and compromised your integrity by her not following up after you'd recommended her. It's not so much as if she'd interviewed, gotten an offer and declined-- that's not a reflection of you. But as being recommended, it reflected back on you and you don't appreciate it. Remind her that your industry runs in the same circles and that you will remember her name should anyone ask your opinion about her for future positions within or outside your company.

The rules of business:
1) Don't burn your bridges (she clearly has!)
2) Choose your battles carefully
3) Listen to understand
4) Be nice and have fun!

communicate your irritation. It will help her in the future.

This is SOOO true!!! She needs to remind her that the Sisterhood Network means that she will DO HER BEST to prove that the SN is worthy to be used!

Beanblossom1 · #12 08-19-2005, 10:17 PM

While it wasn't done by a sister, I have recommended friends and/or former coworkers for positions and it turned out horrible. I've decided not to promote (or bad mouth) anyone else when it comes to employment. Just leaving it to the 'powers that be'.

Pearls4Life · #13 08-20-2005, 12:47 AM

That is why to this day....I do not recommend unless I know you "personally" Soror or not! I have had this happen to me when I was in a supervisory role, more than once. Twice was a charm for me! I just tell them, " call or send them your resume". If they happen to put my name down (witch they have) I just let H.R. I cannot vouch for thier character or work ethics, and leave it at that!