A HUGE thank you! (and a very small recruitment story)

[Farfetched]

This might get kind of long, so bear with me.

I’m writing this as a true outsider: I am not Greek, my collegiate alma mater does not have and has never had Greek life, and honestly I barely gave sororities a single thought in my entire life until my beloved niece (I’ll call her A) was accepted last spring to her dream college--a huge, western, state flagship university far away from where we iive--and decided she wanted to go Greek.

At first we were all somewhat bewildered at this; none of the women in our family or close circle of friends are Greek. But A was determined, and I was determined to help her because I am a doting aunt, and also because I’m so proud of her for pushing herself to get into this university and being brave enough to go so far away, to a school and part of the country where she literally knew no one. So I started to research this whole sorority thing, and I found Greekchat! I read everything--stories, advice, and any specific information on A’s university’s recruitment that I could find. Talk about a deep dive: I learned all about “recruitment” and “recommendations” and “tiers” and “tent talk” and “bid day”--it was like an entirely new language. But I cannot express how grateful I am for the wealth of knowledge that is here and everyone’s willingness to share. There was obviously a lot to learn, so for anyone else who is in this situation, here are some of the most important lessons:

GET RECS: the very first post I stumbled across on Greekchat was about how A’s university is one where you “absolutely positively” need recs. At first I didn’t even know what that meant! Like I said, no one in our immediate circle has any NPC connections at all. But we figured it out and followed all the advice on here about reaching out: I talked to my friends’ friends, current and former coworkers, and anyone else I could think of. There were two positive outcomes from this process: we got recs for almost every house (and multiple recs for some!!) AND I learned a lot about what my peers got out of their sororities, which made me feel really good about A’s choice and what she’d hopefully get out of this experience.

BE PREPARED AND AUTHENTIC: My niece is smart, engaged, passionate about her interests, and was a leader both academically and socially in high school. She is also absolutely gorgeous (obviously I’m biased but for real, she’s a stunner) and I knew she’d present well during recruitment. But from this site, I learned that the key was understanding how to get all that wonderfulness across in the chaos of recruitment, especially for a girl with no prior connections. I wanted her to think about her reasons for wanting to join a sorority: finding community in a very far-away and unfamiliar place; opportunities for leadership; and making friends with like-minded girls.

HAVE AN OPEN MIND: this one was huge. A is fairly level-headed but she’s also an 18-year-old girl, and I wanted her to try to rise above the gossip, impressions from Insta, and everything else that wasn’t focused on actually meeting the sisters and making her own decisions based on those conversations. It helped enormously that she ended up with a great RC who she talked to quite a bit throughout the process.

[Farfetched]

Long story short: she had an absolutely fantastic recruitment and a very happy ending. I was hoping to write an actual real recruitment story, since I enjoyed reading the ones on here so much! Unfortunately I never got very many details during the actual recruitment, but here’s the abbreviated version--please forgive me if I get some of the vocabulary/details wrong here.

Round one: A seemed to go into the first round with a truly open mind. She loved almost every house, although there were one or two that she felt she didn’t really click with during this round. Her only real complaint during this round was about the terrible heat--it was well over 100 degrees and they were trooping from house to house in the blistering sun. She ended up with what I think was a full schedule after this first round, which was obviously a big confidence-booster.

Round two: A visited nine houses this round and loved every single one. She’s a talker, so I’m sure she just enjoyed the opportunity to gab nonstop with fun girls for hours and hours. At this point, any initial nervousness had worn off; she texted me that she was just having SO MUCH FUN seeing all the houses and meeting all the sisters. I was so glad she was authentically having fun, because that would show.

After round two, A got six houses back, which I think was also a full schedule, but this was also when the first realization about cuts set in: one of the girls she had made friends with in her recruitment group had only gotten one house back after round one and then was cut completely after round two. Apparently, this was entirely a grade issue. A was upset about this for her friend, but I figured it was a good lesson about keeping your grades up!

Round three: After visiting her six houses during round three, A still loved everyone and was sort of panicked about narrowing it down to two for pref. I encouraged her to talk to her RC, which she did and that was very helpful. By this point, I could tell she was starting to get a little tired from the long days. It never occurred to me during my research just how exhausting this would be, even for people who are naturally extroverted. I’m having a hard time imagining how you do this when classes are in session?

Pref: A got her top two choices back for pref and was thrilled. Fortunately she had figured out the whole pref dress thing before leaving home, so there was no stress there. As an aside: the wardrobe aspect was made much easier by the very helpful videos and photos all the houses and the university’s Panhellenic post about what to wear and what not to wear. A’s pref dress was absolutely adorable, although I’m ancient enough to think that everything is way too short, but from what I could tell from Instagram and YouTube, her outfit was right on point.

She enjoyed both pref ceremonies--she was a little afraid she’d cry, but said she just got a little teary. I couldn’t really figure out from the information available if she would be “guaranteed” a bid since she went through the whole process and always maximized her options. I asked her, and she said that there’s no guarantee but that it would be very unusual for someone at this point to not get a bid. That’s when I realized that I was probably just as nervous (maybe more!) than she was about bid day! I kept thinking, oh my goodness what if she goes through all this and gets dropped after pref…?

Bid day: Obviously I didn’t need to be nervous. After being on pins and needles for quite a few hours, we found out that she ran home to…













[this scrolldown thing was always my favorite part of the recruitment stories I read lololol]









PI BETA PHI!

Pi Phi was always one of her favorites all the way through, and now she is absolutely thrilled and I am thrilled for her. So now there are only two things left for me to do:

1. Go to the Pi Phi store and buy her lots of swag! There’s a beautiful sterling silver bracelet I have my eye on for her.

2. Put out a thousand huge and grateful thanks to every sorority woman who contributes to this site. The knowledge, insight, and expertise on these boards was absolutely invaluable. So, from this “GDI” but now proud Pi Phi auntie: THANK YOU!!

[ComradesTrue]

I can't love your post enough! Thank you for sharing your journey into learning all the positive aspects of Greek Life and also for sharing the (haha) abbreviated version of your niece's recruitment story.

Congrats to her and Pi Beta Phi. Happy shopping!

[honeychile]

Congratulations to your niece and Pi Beta Pi! A's attitude is such that she'll be an amazing sister!

PS: the daughter of my sorority little sister went Pi Phi, too.

[AZTheta]

hahaha! YAY! I am positive I know where she is; it was BRUTAL heat last week.

I'm so excited for her :-) Pi Phi is across Mountain from Theta and right next door to AEPhi. Saw a darling arrow bracelet a few days ago online, will look for it and message you with the link if I find it.

BEAR DOWN! Come visit when it cools off (if that ever happens. At this point in the summer we're all way past fried. BUT we don't have to shovel heat! Thankful for air conditioning).

[Theta1234]

Congratulations to your niece. May her arrow fly high!

[Farfetched]

Aw, thanks for the nice responses--I was a little nervous to post here so I really appreciate it. [AZTheta, I knew you'd sniff things out right away, lol. I tried to PM you but I think your inbox is full!]

[ladybug12]

You have a very lucky niece...not everyone has an aunt that would invest so much time and effort in unfamiliar territory to make sure she was prepared for the process of recruitment at a large school/system. I am so happy that you found Greekchat!

Is her twin sister planning on going through formal recruitment as well? If so, please come back to share again!

And congratulations to Niece #1 finding her new home away from home at Pi Phi!

[Farfetched]

That is very sweet of you to say, ladybug12. I am the proud mom of two fantastic boys, but as any parent knows, girls are different. I've always loved that I get to do girly stuff with my nieces, and working on the sorority stuff with A was such a fun bonding thing before she left for school!

[zbxo]

Pi Phi is a great chapter at the U of A! They have had a fantastic recruitment! Congratulations to her

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by Farfetched

That is very sweet of you to say, ladybug12. I am the proud mom of two fantastic boys, but as any parent knows, girls are different. I've always loved that I get to do girly stuff with my nieces, and working on the sorority stuff with A was such a fun bonding thing before she left for school. And yes, her twin sister--who I guess I'll call "B"--is also going through recruitment at her school. Greek life isn't nearly as big of a deal at B's school, though, and sorority recruitment isn't particularly competitive. I was sort of bummed, actually, when B told me she wouldn't need any recs, I was like "what do you mean you don't need recs? I'm the queen of recs now!" But if there's anything interesting to report about B's experience, I'll be back!

Just a suggestion- FWIW- get the recs anyway. Lots of places will tell you thry don't need recs. However,, there is nothing like a letter of introduction vouching for you(which is what a rec is)) and some groups require them( mine does and we are on close to 150 campuses).

[NYCMS]

Farfetched, congrats to your niece for pledging Pi Phi AND for being a Wildcat! I'm an alumnae of UA, was an active in the Gamma Phi chapter and beyond loving being part of my sorority, I loved being a student at UA and a temporary resident of Tucson. Also enjoyed knowing so many great Greek women, terrific girls in every house.

She's very fortunate to have an aunt so supportive and who went to the lengths it took to get informed. And I had a similar Rush Counselor who helped me when I was torn between my two final houses. Ironically I learned post-rush that she was a member of the other house I went to for pref.

Enjoy buying all kinds of fun arrow gear!

[homeward*bound]

So happy things went so well for your niece. What a terrific auntie you are. I hope her years at UofA are as wonderful as mine were. Bear Down!

[navane]

Thank you for your kind words about your experiences - I am glad you found GreekChat so helpful to you and your niece. Many congratulations to your niece on her bid to Pi Beta Phi!

[carnation]

Yea, she aimed high! Congratulations!