Graduate Student and AI

[ScarletRed]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

I think one of the things I don't think I will ever understand is that some people can't get past the whole sorority thing.

I am pretty sure that if I hadn't found my home while I was in school, my life would have moved on, and I wouldn't worry 10 years later about finding that sorority that I didn't join when I was in college.

I probably won't be doing the grad school thing for awhile, but if I was in grad school, I'd have more important things to worry about (ummm grad school... work, and the rest of my life) than to think 'gosh darnit! i need to find a sorority home because I didn't find one that fit in college!!'

Sorry for the rant, but I really just don't get it.

I don't believe that women that pursue AI are "obsessed" with trying to complete an unfulfilled college dream or "obsessed" with joining a sorority, just because they are going AI, or don't have anything better to do with their adult life because they want to join.

Sororities are different than the vast majority of organizations for women. Sororities are for life. I can't think of any other organizations for women that work quite like sororities do, thus can 100% understand the appeal.

I see the Eastern Star mentioned from time to time, and I am a legacy of that organization with a father, grandfather, and great-grandfather that were Masons and a grandmother that was an ES member. However, if you checked around at the locals, unless you are 65 years old, you'll be way out of your age group if you join.

I see alot of those that don't particularly care for AI's on the GC message board, but I look at it like this: If you don't like the AI process, then you should wage a campaign with your national to get the process banned.

The collegiate chapters run their show the way they see fit, and therefore, the alumnae chapters do as well. If they don't want to accept an AI member, they don't have to. If they choose that option, you can bet there is a reason why.

There is more of a chance of a collegiate "weirdo" member joining as a Freshman after a single week of recruitment activities than there is an AI who usually takes 6 months to a year and many meetings to complete the process.

If I am going to be a member of my sorority, then I am going to support ALL of my other sisters, not just the ones that I pick and choose and single out because of the way they joined.

If someone cannot embrace that, then they should not be a member of a sorority at all.

[SigKapSweetie]

There is more of a chance of a collegiate "weirdo" member joining as a Freshman after a single week of recruitment activities than there is an AI who usually takes 6 months to a year and many meetings to complete the process.

You may be on to something there.

[Munchkin03]

I don't know...it was the dark ages (2003?) when I was in grad school, but I wasn't so beat down that I wouldn't have been able to join a sorority (or relax for that matter). I was taking 21 hours each semester. I went through a competitive program at a tough school...maybe I was doing something wrong? I got a job, though, and I just presented my thesis at a major conference in my field.

The rest of my philosophy on AI, however, is well-documented on this board, so I don't feel the need to repeat it.

[texas*princess]

Yes, I realize that sorority life is "forever". A good percentage of the women I hang out with today are sorority sisters (that I met in college) and even if in a hypothetical world if I hadn't been extended a bid or I didn't join, I really do believe that we'd still be great friends. And I have definitely met several wonderful women in my alum. assoc.

I think it's different for someone who pledged a group in college, but couldn't initiate because of financial reasons or other extreme circumstances and to come back later and say, "I was thisclose to being a XYZ and I love everything about them and want to look into AI".

But for someone who randomly comes out of the woodworks to say "I didn't like any of the groups on campus" or "I didn't have time to rush when I was in college" but they have time in grad school to worry about AI'ing a sorority?

As an aside, I agree with CP2000 who said part of the reason that so many people get stalled is because they go to the orgs instead of the other way around... but that's another story for another day.

[AUDeltaGam]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

But for someone who randomly comes out of the woodworks to say "I didn't like any of the groups on campus" or "I didn't have time to rush when I was in college" but they have time in grad school to worry about AI'ing a sorority?

That's what I was trying to say, but you said it much better

[blueangel]

Things get stalled because things get stalled. It doesn't necessarily have to do with whether the PNAM sought out AI or the other way around.

In some sororities, AI is extremely rare, therefore all kinds of things can happen to hold up the process. Paperwork can be inadvertantly not filled out correctly or missing altogether, miscommunications can happen up the chain, the iternational council may need to meet to vote on people and perhaps they only meet once or twice a year, the PNAM may have to wait until the collegiate chapter's next initiation, or the AA might take some time getting things together in order to hold the initiation themselves, or the international council may decide to hold off the AI until the next convention (which could be two years off). Any number of things can and do happen.

[ScarletRed]

i understand completey what you are saying, and agree with some of it. Just getting out and sorority shopping at random and the first one that "bites" joining? Nope, I don't agree with that at all.

I also agree with you that you shouldn't persue AI after graduation just because you didn't like the sororities that were on your campus, but at the same time, I don't think you should only persue one that you pledged because there is probably a reason why you did not go through initiation.

If I were persuing AI, I would, at minimum, start with the sororities at my alma mater and see if there was a local AA group near where I lived.

I also believe a potential AI should have something to OFFER the sorority. What do they do for a living? Would they be willing to assist new grads in networking for jobs? What other organizations do they belong to that would benefit the sorority in "cross" membership.

I wouldn't want someone to AI because they have nothing else to do and wake up one morning and decides AI is a good idea. I would want to know, in great detail, WHY they want to AI, and what are their plans with the sorority AFTER they AI.

I would very much expect a new AI to be MORE actively involved with AA activities than a regular AA member...because the one that went the collegiate route, no doubt, participated alot, by requirement, throughout their educational career.

I also believe, if a PAI did not feel a connection with the AA chapter, that they should do the right thing and not pursue initiation with that group, even if it is offered; just like you would never pledge a sorority if you didn't feel a connection when you are in college.

Originally Posted by texas*princess

Yes, I realize that sorority life is "forever". A good percentage of the women I hang out with today are sorority sisters (that I met in college) and even if in a hypothetical world if I hadn't been extended a bid or I didn't join, I really do believe that we'd still be great friends. And I have definitely met several wonderful women in my alum. assoc.

I think it's different for someone who pledged a group in college, but couldn't initiate because of financial reasons or other extreme circumstances and to come back later and say, "I was thisclose to being a XYZ and I love everything about them and want to look into AI".

But for someone who randomly comes out of the woodworks to say "I didn't like any of the groups on campus" or "I didn't have time to rush when I was in college" but they have time in grad school to worry about AI'ing a sorority?

As an aside, I agree with CP2000 who said part of the reason that so many people get stalled is because they go to the orgs instead of the other way around... but that's another story for another day.

[Taualumna]

Originally Posted by ScarletRed

I .

I see the Eastern Star mentioned from time to time, and I am a legacy of that organization with a father, grandfather, and great-grandfather that were Masons and a grandmother that was an ES member. However, if you checked around at the locals, unless you are 65 years old, you'll be way out of your age group if you join.

Even Junior League can be "older." While provisionals are nowhere near 65, many are already in their 30s and have had a few years of work/real life experience.

[blueangel]

You're right TauAlumna, it really depends on the Junior League. My provisional class had women as young as their early 20's to one woman in her early 60's. Most however, seemed to be in their mid to late 30's. Some Junior Leagues (such as the one in my area) have done away with sponsorships and age limits. If you're female and you're breathing in and out... you can join.

And back on subject, I want to clear something up. I've noticed that there seems to be a disturbing tactic on this board of "saying something untrue often enough, and it is believed." Specifically, I'm referring to the untrue allegation that I believe everyone should be an AI and that everyone is worthy of being an AI. I never said that and I challenge those who are spreading this untruth around to quote a post in which I said that.

I do, however, believe anyone who wishes to try, to be allowed to ask questions and pursue their dreams without harrassment on this forum.

I want to make it clear that I believe not everyone is a good fit for a sorority.. but it isn't up to you nor I to make that judgement.. it is up to the individual Alumnae Chapters and International HQs.

[ScarletRed]

Exactly Taualumna.

We have the "Civic League" where I am from instead of Junior League. 100% of them are married. 100% of them are from extremely wealthy households.

They sponsor a huge Miss America preliminary pagaent every year and people turn out to that thing dressed like it's a Hollywood movie premier. They also limit their membership to 30 women so the only way a new member gets in is if someone moves, dies, or files for bankruptcy. Ok, I'm joking, but you get the point.

There are so many incredibly talented women that are looking for an organization to lend their talents to. If someone is willing to take the time to wait 6 months, a year, maybe even 2, to AI a sorority, then it would be a horrible waste of time to be anything but a fully participating member, and a disservice to the sorority who took the time, the effort, and the resources to sponsor them and bring them in.

I don't really think that there is a "flood" of AI requests to National GLO's, and it should remain something selective and special. I could be wrong, I sure don't work for National. I may look at it differently if I did.

There are just a ton of women that went to schools where there were no sororities, etc. What would be the harm and damage in bringing these women into an organization where they want to contribute to it?

I see none.

Originally Posted by Taualumna

Even Junior League can be "older." While provisionals are nowhere near 65, many are already in their 30s and have had a few years of work/real life experience.

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by blueangel

I do, however, believe anyone who wishes to try, to be allowed to ask questions and pursue their dreams without harrassment on this forum.

Not encouraging people to AI is not harassment. There's a difference. Stop crying to the mods everytime something is posted that doesn't agree to your opinion.

[blueangel]

Originally Posted by Tippiechick

Not encouraging people to AI is not harassment. There's a difference. Stop crying to the mods everytime something is posted that doesn't agree to your opinion.

Do you not know the difference between making fun of particular PNAMs and "not encouraging" them? Anyone who is interested in AI should be able to post their questions and their stories without fear of harrassment.

I suppose I will have to spell it out for you in detail. That means PNAMs should be able to post without fear of nasty remarks, without fear of parody threads mocking their hobbies, and without fear of ill spirited signatures which link to their photos on the web.

It's very simple, Tippiechick. If you break the TOS, I will report you. If you disagree with my opinion, but do not break the TOS, I will not report you.

[tunatartare]

Originally Posted by blueangel

Do you not know the difference between making fun of particular PNAMs and "not encouraging" them? Anyone who is interested in AI should be able to post their questions and their stories without fear of harrassment.

I suppose I will have to spell it out for you in detail. That means PNAMs should be able to post without fear of nasty remarks, without fear of parody threads mocking their hobbies, and without fear of ill spirited signatures which link to their photos on the web.

It's very simple, Tippiechick. If you break the TOS, I will report you. If you disagree with my opinion, but do not break the TOS, I will not report you.

Do you have the TOS memorized word for word? Do you make little flashcards and study them before you go to bed at night? I have never met someone more obsessed with following the rules than you.

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by ScarletRed

There are just a ton of women that went to schools where there were no sororities, etc. What would be the harm and damage in bringing these women into an organization where they want to contribute to it?

I see none.

I do see a problem with bringing in a "ton" of these women. Part of the bond shared by sorority sisters comes from common collegiate experiences. If we water that down to where a "ton" of alumnae do not have that experience, much of that common bond would be lost.

[Jen]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

I do see a problem with bringing in a "ton" of these women. Part of the bond shared by sorority sisters comes from common collegiate experiences. If we water that down to where a "ton" of alumnae do not have that experience, much of that common bond would be lost.

As an AI, I actually agree with that. I don't have a common collegiate bond with the women in my alumnae chapter, and I never will have that.

And it is nearly impossible to achieve the same type of bond outside the collegiate experience. While I love the time I spend with my alum chapter, it is never going to be the same for me connection-wise as it is for my non-AI sisters.