Legacies? - Page 2

gee_ess · #16 10-19-2008, 10:45 PM

I was talking about a) out of state freshmen who don't get bids through fall formal because they didn't participate in anything during the summer (is it a stigma to get a spring bid?) and also b) sophomores who didn't go through recruitment their freshman year for various reasons (is it harder to be a sophomore like it is with sororities?).

I re-read my earlier post and it is kind of confusing!

Elephant Walk · #17 10-19-2008, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gee_ess

I was talking about a) out of state freshmen who don't get bids through fall formal because they didn't participate in anything during the summer (is it a stigma to get a spring bid?) and also b) sophomores who didn't go through recruitment their freshman year for various reasons (is it harder to be a sophomore like it is with sororities?).

I re-read my earlier post and it is kind of confusing!

a) yeah, its sort of a stigma to be a spring. There aren't "levels of brotherhood" by any means within the fraternity, but often some people will derisively say "he's a spring", meaning his opinion or whatever doesn't matter. It's because of a traditionally small pledge class that might have a few sort of weirdos in it. Not like super weird, but just not normal fall-style pledge class who knew they were joining a fraternity as soon as they came to school. But, with a smaller pledge class they also did often more work on house cleans and so forth...in some ways, I can admire them. Because of far smaller classes and the stigma of being a spring, they're also not likely to be elected to cabinet positions. In my years here, we've had 1 spring on cabinet.

b)I don't think sophomores are so stigmatized, but I'd rather have freshman. If we're working with our pledge classes and trying to figure out who we want, and a fresh and soph have equal qualification, fresh is going to win every, every time.

Widgetgirl · #18 10-20-2008, 07:32 PM

WOW! Since I've never been on here before, I had no idea how all of these threads got started. I actually had to print out what has been said so far so that I could figure out what I wanted to write!

First, jarred66, I did not go to LSU, but I did go to that other (non SEC) school in Louisiana - Louisiana Tech University. I'm so old that I went to school all four years with Karl Malone (The Mailman)! I did, however, have a lot of friends, who went to LSU.

Second, CarolinaCutie, thanks for the info on Phi Mu. I understand that sororities do not HAVE to pledge legacies. In my original question, I was just asking about the extra consideration (being able to meet more than two people in the first night), that's all. And, no, my son did not continue with rush because he didn't want to go to the invites he got back. I think I might have steered him wrong, though, by agreeing with him that you don't want to be a part of a group where you are not happy just to join a fraternity. I assumed (wrongly, I think, after reading Elephant Walk's last post) that he would have time to meet people during the year, at ballgames, at the bars (not condoning it...just know it happens), in The Grove, etc. I thought he'd have the Spring or next Fall, if he was interested. So, after reading all this, he's probably doomed!

Third, CrackerBarrel, I now know about what you are talking about in the summer before rush, going to the parties. I have since found out that my son did not attend many that he was asked to (not just by his father's fraternity) for two main reasons. One, he worked, and two, none of us had any idea that it was so important. If HE knew that it was important, he didn't mention it to me, but I am hearing that some of them didn't like that he didn't come. Maybe that's why they don't like the out of state kids, since they can't easily come to a party from (say) California--except for my son, since I'm a flight attendant...ok, now I'm rambling again! No, we were not that far away, but again, I know his work got in the way.

Last, thank you, sceniczip, for your input as well. Do you know if it mattered if the legacy was from out of state? Is your school in the south, and is it an SEC (competitive) school?

I'm just amazed at how things have changed. Personally, I think of every Sigma Kappa as a sorority sister, no matter what school they went to. I don't think less of them if they go to The University of Memphis here in Tennessee just because I went to school in Louisiana. I have always given my money to Sigma Kappa Foundation (not to any particular chapter). Guess I've learned a LOT! Wish I had found this site sooner...

sceniczip · #19 10-20-2008, 07:42 PM

My school is definitely not in the south lol. We're up in Ohio. It's not too competitive but I know there were a few disappointments this year so I'm not really sure how competitive it was. I think the legacies were all from in state but we do not put much emphasis on that. We have one legacy (possibly a double legacy, can't remember) who is from Texas. I think we actually have about three girls from Texas, not all of them legacies. Other than that we mostly get the neighboring states, especially PA. It's probably hard to compare it to since we're not nearly as competitive as the south, nor do we have the amount of legacies that the south has. So all of this probably does not pertain to your daughter if she decides to go to LSU (I believe you said you had a daughter that was interested in LSU?) but it's always good information to have

I would actually love to go to LSU or Ole Miss just to see how recruitment works down there!

Widgetgirl · #20 10-20-2008, 11:17 PM

Sorry to write so much, but I have an interesting update. One, I just called my son to see how things are, and he is on a party bus for a fraternity. He couldn't hear me, and I actually thought he said a "party boat", but anyway, his father said that the rush chairman of one of the fraternities had called him yesterday and asked him what he had done. When he told him he hadn't done anything, they asked him to come over for a football game. I'm not sure if it's the same one that he went on the party bus with, but I guess I'll find out tomorrow. I'm assuming it's not one of the bigger ones, but at this point, I think he was impressed that someone called HIM!

Also...on the (dreaded) legacy subject: My ex-husband heard back today from the MANY people he contacted on Friday about our son being cut the first night from his fraternity. One of them was the chapter president, who said it is NOT the policy of THIS particular fraternity/chapter to cut any legacy on the first night! They want to continue the tradition of making sure that the legacy gets to meet as many members as possible, etc. Supposedly there will be some investigating to see what happened, but no one is promising anything...

...good thing, cause my son JUST called his dad and told him that another frat asked him to pledge today...and he is! Unfortunately, my ex can't remember the name of it! Can you believe that? I guess he's just kind of unhappy that it's not HIS, and I don't think it's one that we had at Tech. But he DID say he sounded very happy, so I am, too!!

Wonder if it was the football game! Told you he was athletic!!

AnchorAlumna · #21 10-20-2008, 11:41 PM

Hi Widgetgirl,
I am a mom, too, although my kids are a little older and are now out of college. Fraternities do things TOTALLY different from sororities. They're not nearly as well organized nor as vigilant about their legacies. Whoever mentioned the summer parties is right. I went to the University of Alabama, and the fraternities there do things very similarly to Ole Miss. Formal recruitment for them is just an afterthought.

Sounds like your son has got things pretty well figured out! I know I worried WAY more than my kids did about any of this stuff!

Widgetgirl · #22 10-21-2008, 12:01 AM

Thank you...I'm sure that you're right that it has been WAY more traumatic for me than it has been for him! He's my oldest, though, and I am learning! Thank goodness for Google and this site!! Take care

AOEforme · #23 10-21-2008, 12:26 AM

Congratulations to your son on his new fraternity! I'm glad he was so happy!

gee_ess · #24 10-21-2008, 09:29 AM

Yea for Widgitgirl's son! Sounds like this was a case of the guys not really knowing about your son, realizing they let a good guy slip through the cracks, and coming back around to correct the situation! Congrats to your son!

Welcome to GC!

TSteven · #25 10-23-2008, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Widgetgirl

Sorry to write so much, but I have an interesting update. One, I just called my son to see how things are, and he is on a party bus for a fraternity. He couldn't hear me, and I actually thought he said a "party boat", but anyway, his father said that the rush chairman of one of the fraternities had called him yesterday and asked him what he had done. When he told him he hadn't done anything, they asked him to come over for a football game. I'm not sure if it's the same one that he went on the party bus with, but I guess I'll find out tomorrow. I'm assuming it's not one of the bigger ones, but at this point, I think he was impressed that someone called HIM!

Also...on the (dreaded) legacy subject: My ex-husband heard back today from the MANY people he contacted on Friday about our son being cut the first night from his fraternity. One of them was the chapter president, who said it is NOT the policy of THIS particular fraternity/chapter to cut any legacy on the first night! They want to continue the tradition of making sure that the legacy gets to meet as many members as possible, etc. Supposedly there will be some investigating to see what happened, but no one is promising anything...

I thought it sounded odd that a legacy would be cut after the first night. I hope the chapter is able to figure out what went wrong on their part.

Quote:

good thing, cause my son JUST called his dad and told him that another frat asked him to pledge today...and he is! Unfortunately, my ex can't remember the name of it! Can you believe that? I guess he's just kind of unhappy that it's not HIS, and I don't think it's one that we had at Tech. But he DID say he sounded very happy, so I am, too!!

Wonder if it was the football game! Told you he was athletic!!

Congratulations to your son! And if I may, if you feel comfortable doing so, once you know which fraternity, would you please report back to us?

Widgetgirl · #26 10-23-2008, 11:54 PM

Do you, by chance, go to Ole Miss? Hate to say too much (as if I haven't already!!)

SHSUATO1865 · #27 10-24-2008, 08:39 AM

i know that my chapter is not but about half as big as most at ole miss, and i do realize it is a completely diff greek life. but at my school the only ppl we respect more than eachother is our alumni. one of my pledge brothers was the biggest tool known to man but still got a bid because he was a legacy and we also extended a bid to a legacy this semester just because he was a legacy even though he never came out to our house. unless your son just slipped through the cracks or gave off a bad first impression and or physical impression. i cant see why they would not give him a bid, especially if his father makes extensive contributions to the chapter. i am curious though which fraternity he was a legacy to?

TSteven · #28 10-24-2008, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Widgetgirl

Do you, by chance, go to Ole Miss? Hate to say too much (as if I haven't already!!)

No ma'am. I am a graduate of the University of Kentucky.

Go Cats!

Widgetgirl · #29 10-24-2008, 10:43 AM

SHSUATO - Thanks for your post. I really didn't want anyone to pledge my son JUST because he was a legacy. We just never dreamed there would be a problem with a guy who is very good looking (if it's any indication, my 16-year-old daughter's friends all say he is "hot"), very athletic (played competitive, travel baseball, was captain of his trap-shooting team, and his job was at a large gym), and is very smart (grades are not perfect, but were good enough to get him a scholarship--even the Army has it's standards, believe it or not), and extremely personable (can not only talk to kids, but adults have commented all his life on how well he talks to even them). So, if anyone on here is thinking that he got cut because he's a loser, believe me (and I know I'm his mother, but I've been Greek, and I KNOW the standards), he's NOT!

I really did start this thread just to find out information on how the legacy thing works now, and I have learned SO much! I appreciate every single person on here and their comments. I appreciate anyone who is still in school and knows the scoop, I appreciate the alumni who know the scoop now and also remember the past, and I appreciate the mothers who know exactly how I feel!

My son is very happy where he is, so I hate to mention the fraternity that he was a legacy of. It is my understanding that they (for some reason) were not aware, so I don't want to worry about it anymore. I'll be honest with you--he wouldn't have wanted to be "kept" just because of the legacy thing anyway...it was just ME (and my ex) who were wondering what happened.

So, thank you, again, for everything...I've really enjoyed all this. I think I'll be hooked for a while, though--just what I need with four other kids and a job!

TSteven · #30 10-24-2008, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Widgetgirl

SHSUATO - Thanks for your post. I really didn't want anyone to pledge my son JUST because he was a legacy. We just never dreamed there would be a problem with a guy who is very good looking (if it's any indication, my 16-year-old daughter's friends all say he is "hot"), very athletic (played competitive, travel baseball, was captain of his trap-shooting team, and his job was at a large gym), and is very smart (grades are not perfect, but were good enough to get him a scholarship--even the Army has it's standards, believe it or not), and extremely personable (can not only talk to kids, but adults have commented all his life on how well he talks to even them). So, if anyone on here is thinking that he got cut because he's a loser, believe me (and I know I'm his mother, but I've been Greek, and I KNOW the standards), he's NOT!

I really did start this thread just to find out information on how the legacy thing works now, and I have learned SO much! I appreciate every single person on here and their comments. I appreciate anyone who is still in school and knows the scoop, I appreciate the alumni who know the scoop now and also remember the past, and I appreciate the mothers who know exactly how I feel!

My son is very happy where he is, so I hate to mention the fraternity that he was a legacy of. It is my understanding that they (for some reason) were not aware, so I don't want to worry about it anymore. I'll be honest with you--he wouldn't have wanted to be "kept" just because of the legacy thing anyway...it was just ME (and my ex) who were wondering what happened.

So, thank you, again, for everything...I've really enjoyed all this. I think I'll be hooked for a while, though--just what I need with four other kids and a job!

As it should be! Again congrats to your son and to the chapter that was fortunate to bid him. I am sure he'll have a great time at Ole Miss.