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  #16  
Old 01-05-2009, 02:36 PM
MysticCat MysticCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SWTXBelle View Post
The only difficulty I could see might have been concerning the raising of children.
I think that's where the rub comes. Between two adults, it's doable. When children come into the mix, things can change.

Example: one couple with whom we are friends -- she is a Catholic (though not hyper-religious), he is athiest. When children came, she wanted them baptized; he refused to come to the service. I know it has led to some friction and sadness because they are finding they have different ideas of how they want the kids raised. It's hasn't been easy, at least for her (based on her conversations with my wife).

Depending on how religious/non-religious (or anti-religious) you both are, I think that to make it work it requires, before the "I dos," (1) complete honesty between the two of you as to what you want and expect and what matters to you, and (2) honest discussions about how to raise the children (assuming you want children). In other words, what BetteDavisEyes said.

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Originally Posted by Benzgirl View Post
I also dated a guy who was an ex-member of the Bruderhof (similar to the Hutterites). Now that was was a doozy.
You have to have some good stories there!
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  #17  
Old 01-05-2009, 03:28 PM
KSig RC KSig RC is offline
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Common ground is clearly the important thing here . . . and, as it turns out, most people are too stupid or self-centered (more precisely, "not self-aware enough") to find anything resembling common ground in a relationship, so it's probably better people just date people they meet at church.

Sure, most of them are startlingly unattractive, but most of us will be unattractive within a decade or two anyway, and you're in it for the long haul, right?
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  #18  
Old 01-05-2009, 05:23 PM
christiangirl christiangirl is offline
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Originally Posted by KSig RC View Post
Sure, most of them are startlingly unattractive, but most of us will be unattractive within a decade or two anyway, and you're in it for the long haul, right?
Just when the post started to tip the snarky limit, you end with this...which fits the last guy I met at church.
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  #19  
Old 01-06-2009, 09:23 AM
MysticCat MysticCat is offline
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Originally Posted by KSig RC View Post
Common ground is clearly the important thing here . . . and, as it turns out, most people are too stupid or self-centered (more precisely, "not self-aware enough") to find anything resembling common ground in a relationship, so it's probably better people just date people they meet at church.

Sure, most of them are startlingly unattractive . . . .
Hey, I met my startlingly attractive wife at church. Of course, she met me there, too, so at least one of us proves your point.
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  #20  
Old 01-06-2009, 12:33 PM
KSig RC KSig RC is offline
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Originally Posted by MysticCat View Post
Hey, I met my startlingly attractive wife at church. Of course, she met me there, too, so at least one of us proves your point.
exceptio probat regulam in casibus non exceptis
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  #21  
Old 01-06-2009, 01:40 PM
preciousjeni preciousjeni is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KSig RC View Post
exceptio probat regulam in casibus non exceptis
You're just evil.
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  #22  
Old 01-06-2009, 02:28 PM
MysticCat MysticCat is offline
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Originally Posted by KSig RC View Post
exceptio probat regulam in casibus non exceptis
Unitam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant.
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  #23  
Old 01-06-2009, 02:51 PM
KSig RC KSig RC is offline
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Originally Posted by MysticCat View Post
Unitam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant.
Well played, good sir, although in classic Charles Barkley fashion, I still maintain that I'm right in general: if you're worried about religious differences, meet people at church. If you're worried about cultural differences, meet people at the cultural center (or bar, for me). If you're worried about alien attacks or when the next issue of a particular manga will arrive, meet people on the internet. If you're worried that your bathroom is too clean, meet me.

It could all be so easy.
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  #24  
Old 01-07-2009, 07:45 PM
norcal aephi norcal aephi is offline
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I am Jewish, and have been in a relationship with a Catholic man for the last six years. There are bumps as religion is a very meaningful part of many people's lives, and it is important to respect the other person's religion as a piece of the person you love.

The truth of the matter, is that many things in the life cycle process for religions have parallels in other religions. It is a good idea to research the other person's religion, but an even better one to ask your partner about their experiences and expectations since everyone experiences their religion differently.

What we ended up doing was breaking down each life cycle event: Naming ceremony, Baptism, confirmation, bar/bat mitzvah... and every holiday that was important to us, and determining what we thought was important about it, and how we'd want to have it work in "our" family. We were able to learn a lot more about the other person through this process, and come up with ideas for our own family traditions.

Of course, this is most important when it comes to children. I realized that I could love my partner, and celebrate his holidays beside him without any emotional conflict, but when it came to teaching it to my children I really wanted clarification for what it would mean and actually look like.

Best of luck!

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me!
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  #25  
Old 01-08-2009, 03:35 PM
Taualumna Taualumna is offline
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I'm a lapsed Catholic has been seeing the same Jewish man for the past three and a half years. We haven't had a lot of problems regarding religion or ethnicity. In fact, I've had more issues with evangelical Christians (I've never dated one, but several people I know, including some relatives are)! The only issue we'll have if we have kids is the fact that I would love to send any daughters I have to my high school alma mater. The school has Anglican roots and regular chapel services. That might upset his mother (though not his dad).
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