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  #1  
Old 02-15-2011, 02:23 AM
tjm91 tjm91 is offline
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Rushing Again Next Semester (Advice?)

Okay, so this past week was rush week. I went into it with an open mind because I was pretty against Greek life in general at the time. My friends convinced me to rush, and I said "Ah, hell, why not."

So, basically it started out with house tours for two nights, then the rest of the week was "free-rush" per se and we could do whatever we wanted. Anyways, long story short, I found 2 fraternities that I liked. Fraternity A was the one I liked the most, and Fraternity B I liked. I felt like when I was there at Fraternity A, things really "clicked."

So this is, it came down to 2 fraternities, and then this past Thursday evening, I was partying at Fraternity A. Then, some friends that were in the sorority next door to the house came over and dropped the "G-Bomb." They told a few of the brothers that my sexual orientation was gay, and long story short, a lot of the brothers found out.

Now, I didn't find out until Friday night when a brother at Fraternity A urged me to come to his apartment. He told me that he really wanted me in, so did his other 2 roommates and the fraternity president. I thought they were sincere, and weren't lying to me considering their enthusiasm.

So, I took it upon myself the next evening at an event that Fraternity A to come out to many members of the Fraternity. I didn't get to talk to all of the brothers, but many of the ones I talked to said that they had seen me and met me. They really wanted me in, but told me about the 75% vote rule.

Unfortunately, 75% means that only 6 brothers can say no. So, when I heard this I pretty much have lost hope in this fraternity. The brother that urged me to go to his apartment said that he hates the 75% rule, and especially in my case because there are a plurality of brothers that aren't "open."

I don't know if I get bids for a few more days, the thing is, I don't know if I should rush again next semester for Fraternity A, and try to get to know the brothers better this semester, or rush Fraternity B that I just liked next semester and see how they are.

I'm glad I made the friends from Fraternity A, because I know that they really want me in. I just feel annoyed I didn't get to know Fraternity B as well as I did A.

What would you do?
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  #2  
Old 02-15-2011, 02:45 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Did you not spend any time with B at all? Do you think you weren't around them enough for them to offer you a bid this semester? You said bids have yet to be issued this semester, right?

Wait and see what happens now before you worry about later. Just because a brother says "you might not get in" doesn't mean it won't happen. I'm not trying to blow sunshine, but some people like to prepare you for the worst to the point of it being extreme.
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  #3  
Old 02-15-2011, 06:16 PM
tjm91 tjm91 is offline
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Actually, today bids were sent out. I got a bid from Fraternity B, and I also got a bid from another fraternity. Both of which I declined.

I felt like I didn't really try that hard to get to know those in Fraternity B, and I have no idea how I got a bid at the other one, but I declined that because they always seem to get in trouble.

So, I'm probably going to rush in the fall semester again and instead this time of spending almost all of my time during rush with the brothers at Fraternity A, I'll go around to handful of the fraternities I liked this semester and see what they have to offer.

I saw one of the brothers today from Fraternity A, and he asked me if I got a bid and I told him I didn't, and he seemed pretty bummed. He said that I may get a snap bid though, and if I don't he said I should just rush again next semester.

Truthfully, I had a lot of fun during rush, and I learned a lot. Next semester I'll do it again. Maybe once the brothers get to know me better at Fraternity A this semester, or for that matter any of the fraternities, I'll find a place that I like, and they can accept me for who I am.
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  #4  
Old 02-15-2011, 06:24 PM
knight_shadow knight_shadow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tjm91 View Post
and they can accept me for who I am.
B seemed to accept you for you. Hopefully, your turning down the bid won't have an adverse effect on next semester's rush. Good luck.
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  #5  
Old 02-16-2011, 12:56 AM
lucgreek lucgreek is offline
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But you already went through rush week and found two houses you liked? You didn't get a bid from one and turned down a bid from the other.

Are you expecting to like other houses going through rush again and have your opinions changed? Rush won't be magically different the next time you go through. Depending on your school, you may have even a tougher time getting a bid considering you will be a sophomore (or junior? you never said what year you were).
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  #6  
Old 02-16-2011, 02:50 AM
tjm91 tjm91 is offline
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I'm a Freshman, I already turned down the bids.

I'm simply going to rush again next semester. I feel like this semester gave me the opportunity to meet a lot of new people in the various fraternities, and I want to get to meet them this semester and see where I fit in.

Last semester I couldn't rush due to school policy.
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  #7  
Old 02-16-2011, 09:56 PM
dnall dnall is offline
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Did fraternities B or C know you were gay? If not, I think it was good for you to turn down those bids. If you're going to be openly gay, then you should warn a chapter about that up front.

If they did know, you should have taken your bid. If you're going to deny being gay and try to pledge somewhere then you should have taken your bid.

I've had fraternity brothers I've known to be gay, but they were not open about it and still aren't beyond a small circle. They were and are great brothers & leaders that I continue to respect. Most chapters are not going to be "open" to an openly gay member. There is a difference between tolerance and taking someone some of the closest relationships you'll ever have. I don't care if it's right or wrong, but it is reality.

In any case, good luck to you.
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  #8  
Old 02-17-2011, 01:40 AM
tjm91 tjm91 is offline
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No issue really anymore, I got a snap bid for fraternity A.

They know I'm openly gay, and I guess they want me in. I'm not going to put on a facade of who I am, because I feel as if they have a right to know.

Last edited by tjm91; 02-17-2011 at 01:43 AM.
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  #9  
Old 02-17-2011, 01:52 AM
excelblue excelblue is offline
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Congrats on getting into a fraternity. Hope you enjoy your pledging process!
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  #10  
Old 02-19-2011, 10:39 AM
arrowlady arrowlady is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tjm91 View Post
No issue really anymore, I got a snap bid for fraternity A.

They know I'm openly gay, and I guess they want me in. I'm not going to put on a facade of who I am, because I feel as if they have a right to know.
Congrats to you. I am glad that you found a place that will let you be you..
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  #11  
Old 04-08-2011, 06:12 AM
HawaiiTKE HawaiiTKE is offline
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Which fraternity is fraternity A anyways?


Congrats again on getting in.
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  #12  
Old 04-08-2011, 02:53 PM
trojanpride trojanpride is offline
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Congratulations!

I'm glad that everything worked out for you.
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