D&R Random

[Sisco Kid]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

No one here has even implied that coming from a "shitty background" makes one a bad person. We all have the things we look for in a mate, and there's nothing wrong with a similar background being on that list.

That's fine and dandy, but if you like the dude, background shouldn't really matter. She made it out to be a bad thing. It shouldn't have even been brought up.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Sisco Kid

That's fine and dandy, but if you like the dude, background shouldn't really matter. She made it out to be a bad thing. It shouldn't have even been brought up.

What you're missing is that she didn't "make it out to be a bad thing". She just said she looked for a similar family background and then stated what that background was. It should be brought up if that's important in a significant other. It's fine that it doesn't matter to you, and it's fine that it does matter to others.

[Sisco Kid]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

But now that I think about it, I don't seem to attract the type that I like. I always felt it was important to date someone who had a background similar to mine (roughly the same SES and family background) but I've always attracted men who came from the opposite--relatively "underprivileged" homes, raised by single mothers (to whom they were relatively close). I'm not entirely sure what it is about me that attracts them but I can think of at least 4 off the top of my head who fit that description (The Chessman included).

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

What you're missing is that she didn't "make it out to be a bad thing". She just said she looked for a similar family background and then stated what that background was. It should be brought up if that's important in a significant other. It's fine that it doesn't matter to you, and it's fine that it does matter to others.

What's written above sounds as though she prefers some dude to have both parents, and I find that to be pretty offensive. "Underprivileged homes and dudes that fit that description". If the dude is a decent guy why should his family matter? I know some really shitty dudes who come from two parent families. I'm also nailing a chick who's probably nailed every Tom, Dick, and Harry I know, and she comes from a two parent home. I know chicks and dudes who come from single parent families and they're decent people.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Sisco Kid

What's written above sounds as though she prefers some dude to have both parents, and I find that to be pretty offensive. "Underprivileged homes and dudes that fit that description". If the dude is a decent guy why should his family matter? I know some really shitty dudes who come from two parent families. I'm also nailing a chick who's probably nailed every Tom, Dick, and Harry I know, and she comes from a two parent home. I know chicks and dudes who come from single parent families and they're decent people.

Good for you. Once again, to some people it matters. That's ok. To some people it doesn', and that's ok too. You don't get to decide what criteria others have when looking for someone to date. And once again, no one here has ever implied your family background automatically makes you either a good or bad person. You do not understand the point, obviously.

[Sisco Kid]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Good for you. Once again, to some people it matters. That's ok. To some people it doesn', and that's ok too. You don't get to decide what criteria others have when looking for someone to date. And once again, no one here has ever implied your family background automatically makes you either a good or bad person. You do not understand the point, obviously.

I see your point, but you're not seeing mine. I don't have a problem with what people are attracted to. What's fucked up is when people talk shit about people they're not interested in as in "I normally wouldn't date him or her, because of their background blah blah blah". That's a crock of shit. She implied that dudes who come from a one parent home is bad in a way. If she didn't give a shit, then why bring it up?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

We all have the things we look for in a mate,

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

You don't get to decide what criteria others have when looking for someone to date.

I gotta get jiggy with it on that one. Preach!

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Yay! Have fun!

I'm going to have to drop one of these guys who I've been seeing. Up until Sunday, I was really happy with him. We went to see a movie and then went to a diner afterwards. It was a ton of fun. He called on Monday, and then again on Tuesday. That frequency was a little much considering that we had been together from noon-8 on Sunday. Also, he didn't have a ton to talk about--I guess he was just trying to make his presence known? Anyway, it seemed like a lot considering I was really busy after work on Monday and Tuesday!

We agreed to go out on Wednesday because, like I said, I really liked him and thought that maybe he was just nervous. These are the things that happened on Wednesday night:

• It was nearly impossible to get him to have an "adult" conversation. I'm not talking risque. Every time I mentioned something (like a friend's grandparents leaving Armenia because of the genocide), he'd start giggling. WTF?
• When I tried to give him a signal to go on and kiss me (tucking the hair behind the ear and leaning in), I look up and HE'S STICKING HIS TONGUE OUT. Like, in a weird kid way.
• It turns out that his worldview is extremely limited. He's never been outside of this metro area, save for a few trips to Florida to visit family. This family, he goes on to elaborate, is a hot mess.
• He talked a lot of shit about his Jewish landlord. I don't know, I really can't cotton to anti-Semitism.

The funny thing was, on the way to the train, he asked me if I'd been having fun, and I said, "absolutely!" (because I was). Then he asked me if I'd like to start dating.

What were the past 6 times we had dinner, went to museums, and talked? Playing Yahtzee?

I thought that maybe he meant "going steady," but I can't be exclusive with someone I haven't had a good makeout session with. WTF.

I told him I'd think about it, but the longer I think about it, the less I want to see him again. I can imagine him giggling awkwardly during foreplay, and I'm just a little too old for that. My sister says I can just disappear, but I don't think that's nice. I had a nice time with him, he's a good guy, but just not for me.

Guys, I think, sometimes put themselves into the "friend box," and wonder why they don't get the girl. Making the fish face when a girl is clearly flirting = friend box behavior.

That could be one for my book ...lol.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Sisco Kid

I see your point, but you're not seeing mine. I don't have a problem with what people are attracted to. What's fucked up is when people talk shit about people they're not interested in as in "I normally wouldn't date him or her, because of their background blah blah blah". That's a crock of shit. She implied that dudes who come from a one parent home is bad in a way. If she didn't give a shit, then why bring it up?

You're obviously taking this personally. No one said anything that implies in the least that one's background makes them "bad". That's YOUR perception because you're reading that when it isn't there. It's no different than a girl saying she doesn't want to date a guy that's shorter than she is. Would you be having a meltdown over that?

[33girl]

I'm guessing it would be a bad idea to message the ex on fb and tell him I could be at his door in half an hour, wouldn't it?

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'm guessing it would be a bad idea to message the ex on fb and tell him I could be at his door in half an hour, wouldn't it?

Depends Who broke it off? If it was you, do you want to get back together?

If he broke it off, then yes. If it was you and you don't want to get back together, then yes. Otherwise, nope!

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'm guessing it would be a bad idea to message the ex on fb and tell him I could be at his door in half an hour, wouldn't it?

I'm not the person to ask about this one, homeslice. If it were me, I'd call an ex from a charity ball--when I'm just a few glasses of champagne in to cut the edge so it really couldn't be considered a "drunk dial." Scratch that, I'd Slydial the dude.

I cannot continue to conduct relationships like I'm a character on "Gossip Girl."

[KSUViolet06]

Well ladies and gents, we are on to the next one. It's for the best though (he did something that was a dealbreaker for me.) I am really looking forward to singleness again.

I am thankful for my friends and sorority sisters. Oh, and the best dad in the entire free universe. Like, seriously.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AGDee

No.. the only places I go in Okemos are my cousins houses.

Ok, so I had a good time. Since he's The Talker, conversation was easy. We talked about our kids, about 9/11, about social security, musicals (we share a lot of favorite musicals).. we lingered over dinner long enough to piss off the waitress but we left her a nice tip to make up for the lost table. I guess we were there almost 3 hours. We ordered the same beverage (diet cola) and the we did the 2 for $20 meal. For the appetizer, we got cheese sticks.. 7 of them. We each ate 3 and were both too polite to take the last one. For a "for two" appetizer, there should be an equal number. I wanted that cheese stick SO badly because last night, I got busy prepping for painting so I didn't have dinner. Today, I dove right into painting and never stopped for food so I was STARVING by dinner time! Anyway, we both picked the ribs.. I had cinnamon apples with mine, he had french fries with his. We picked the same sauce for them too.

Anyway, we have a lot in common, but I knew that already. Conversation was easy and we laughed a lot. About two hours into the dinner, he asked if I was interested in going out on a real date sometime (because this was "the meet and greet") and I said sure. We don't know when we'll manage that but figured we'd find a time. He paid.. I offered to leave the tip, he declined. We were parked near each other and walked out together. He hugged me near our cars and we talked a little bit more and we hugged again. I think he was going to try to kiss me and it felt awkward so I pretended like I couldn't tell that he was trying to decide whether to go for it or not so I just turned around and walked to my car.

I still don't know whether there is chemistry. I think he's a little bit better looking in person than in his pics, which is unusual. He has a nice smile, nice eyes. I'll go out again. I enjoyed myself.

After painting all day, grasping the roller/paint brush all day, my hands keep cramping up. I had to keep massaging them, but told him why so he wouldn't just think I was strange. Near the end of the evening, I started getting cramps in my back too. I was so uncomfortable at times but was trying not to show it...lol.

Oh yeah, we started talking so long ago on Plenty of Fish that, when I went to review some messages we had sent each other, they had been deleted because they were too old. I mentioned that to him tonight and he said "I haven't been on there in a while. Since we've been going back and forth on Facebook and planning to meet, I didn't see any reason to go there." Since I have him on my list of "favorites", I can see when he last logged on. It was January 9th. At least he's not the type to try to juggle 3 or 4 at a time. He didn't say it in a creepy stalkerish "I found you so I stopped looking" way.. just kind of matter of fact, like he wanted to see where this went.

He seems to be a very sweet guy, so far. See, I really think 2011 is your year, Dee. You're going to meet someone who really makes you happy, this year. I just know it.

[ThetaDancer]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I cannot continue to conduct relationships like I'm a character on "Gossip Girl."

This needs to be my new mantra.

[Smile_Awhile]

Going to my boyfriend's fraternity bid day party sans boyfriend is... a very strange feeling. I wish he wasn't out of town, so we could have danced the night away. Oh well. He'll be back later today.