Opinions for big SEC school

[Loyally Kappa]

Originally Posted by Tippiechick

Are we seriously going to tell this girl not to wear the same shoes twice? Seriously?

If a group is THAT hung up on looks, I would RUN the other way.

I read this thread from start to finish. As far as sororities being "image-focused" ... call it "competitive" if you want ... we might as well advise PNMs to bring the receipts for their outfits. God forbid someone may have paid less than full price for an item.

This thread is reminding me of my daughter when she was an 8th grader. There was a time when about the only thing I did "well" was to walk quietly in the mall and carry a credit card. I put an end to that attitude one day on a shopping trip, when after several purchases, her bossing me around so that I would do what she considered the "right thing" made me walk BACK through the mall and return everything we had just bought. She had to stand next to me and watch each return.

I went to a big SEC school (Florida). My girls were/are at a big SEC school (Alabama). I teach at a big SEC school (Ole Miss). We all know that as soon as the bids go out and come in, everyone in the house will be back in Nike shorts and teeshirts. I teach these girls. I see what they look like before, during and after rush.

Sure, they need to have some decent outfits for rush so that they will feel confident and fit in with the rest of the crowd. (Yeah, I'm old ... I still call it rush.) But get over the clothes already.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by hotpink&pearls

Thanks for all the advice!
Honestly, when it comes to shoes - I'm going to wear what goes with my dress, is comfortable and doesn't smell (if this means smelling my shoes, so be it). If they happen to be different each day, cool. If they're the same, that works too. I hope my charming personality, shining recs, wonderful dresses and brilliant good looks can stand on their own (no pun intended, and obviously there was some joking in there haha!).

Once again, thanks for the advice - I'll be posting my recruitment story once rush is over, for better or worse. Until then, I'm going to focus on this whole moving in thing .

good luck with that whole moving thing-when my daughter moved off to college, she took tons of shoes, purses and clothes-she attended a high school with a uniform requirement, so was more than ready to express herself wardrobe wise. flash forward to sophomore year-she had heavily edited her wardrobe and this time, left tons of shoes, purses and clothes at home!

looking forward to your recruitment story when it is all said and done. good luck!

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by Loyally Kappa

.....

This thread is reminding me of my daughter when she was an 8th grader. There was a time when about the only thing I did "well" was to walk quietly in the mall and carry a credit card. I put an end to that attitude one day on a shopping trip, when after several purchases, her bossing me around so that I would do what she considered the "right thing" made me walk BACK through the mall and return everything we had just bought. She had to stand next to me and watch each return.

...

/hijack/

YAY MOM!!!!

/end hijack/

[AXOrushadvisor]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

This is not so much directed at the OP, but a general observation.

Debbie Downer post alert:

There seems to be A WHOLE lot more discussion of very specific clothing advice this year. (ex: wear THIS top instead of the top you chose).

In previous years, we seemed to get more general "what to wear" questions like "skirt or shorts for philanthropy day?"

Clothing is important, but I just hope that all the PNMs who are focusing on their recruitment wardrobe are also making sure they're prepared in other areas as well.

I"ve seen "what to wear" threads from PNMs at SEC schools who admittedly have no recs.

Again, not saying that clothes are unimportant, but if you don't have recs, and you have not prepared yourself in other ways (resume, conversation skills), you might not end up havng anywhere to wear your super awesome Lily dress you picked out.

I couldn't agree with you more. At the end of the day if you have spent $500 on your recruitment outfit, but you are a stick in the mud or haven't done your homework; your clothing choices wont give you a free ride. On the other hand, I have seen first hand a gal going through recruitment not making good choices on clothing right out of the shoot and being release from the majority of Chapters on campus. We do dress checks for our active members looking for boobs, butts and items that don't look right. I don't think there is any thing wrong with showing a PNM a more suitable option AND you don't have to spend a bunch of money. Again, I just think clothing is part of the PNM's homework along with the things you stated above.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

I couldn't agree with you more. At the end of the day if you have spent $500 on your recruitment outfit, but you are a stick in the mud or haven't done your homework; your clothing choices wont give you a free ride. On the other hand, I have seen first hand a gal going through recruitment not making good choices on clothing right out of the shoot and being release from the majority of Chapters on campus. We do dress checks for our active members looking for boobs, butts and items that don't look right. I don't think there is any thing wrong with showing a PNM a more suitable option AND you don't have to spend a bunch of money. Again, I just think clothing is part of the PNM's homework along with the things you stated above.

Exactly.

Originally Posted by Loyally Kappa

I read this thread from start to finish. As far as sororities being "image-focused" ... call it "competitive" if you want ... we might as well advise PNMs to bring the receipts for their outfits. God forbid someone may have paid less than full price for an item.

Please, point out one person that has said price matters. Personally, I recommend Target, TJMaxx, and signing up for email newsletters at your favorite stores. I get almost all of my nice clothing on sale because I read those emails and therefore know when the sales are happening, and I do not own anything with an actual designer label. Not even a basic purse. It is extremely easy to dress nicely for less, and I've never had anyone wrinkle their nose at my clothing, even when visiting some of the snottiest groups of people in T-Town.

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I have to say it is funny to reduce the shoes sidebar to simplistically inconsequential frivolity when even the very nature of recruitment outfit discussions is considered simplistically inconsequential frivolity by some.

The entire recruitment process is "simplistically inconsequential frivolity". Some chapters meet 1000+ girls in a day and are expected to cut and keep based on those few minutes they saw them and the applications the PNM's sent in. That's somehow going to be a deep and thoughtful process? It's essentially an audition and the fact is that when so many people are being considered for so few spots it's unlikely they're going to be picked based solely on their character. It's going to be a combination of their resumes, how likable they are in parties, and their first impression. So yes, sometimes things like an outfit or a friendly smile or a bunch of connections matter. That's just reality. Some girls will get picked because they are good people, nice to be around, and will make good members. And some girls will get picked for FAR more shallow reasons. So what's with all the denial?

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Relax?

I mean it's just as easy for us to say "Shoes aren't the important thing. Damn."

And, "Whether it happens or not it's still shallow."

Ok? Then "relax" and stop jumping down my throat because I prefer to be realistic rather than idealistic. Again, the question isn't whether or not it's "right" or "shallow". It isn't right and it is shallow. That doesn't mean we should act like it doesn't happen.

Originally Posted by hotpink&pearls

Thanks for all the advice!
Honestly, when it comes to shoes - I'm going to wear what goes with my dress, is comfortable and doesn't smell (if this means smelling my shoes, so be it). If they happen to be different each day, cool. If they're the same, that works too. I hope my charming personality, shining recs, wonderful dresses and brilliant good looks can stand on their own (no pun intended, and obviously there was some joking in there haha!).

Once again, thanks for the advice - I'll be posting my recruitment story once rush is over, for better or worse. Until then, I'm going to focus on this whole moving in thing .

Please smell the shoes. It sounds ridiculous, but like I said I've had a PNM show up smelling like a fraternity house laundry room and she didn't even notice because she was so nervous. Also, if you have time go ahead and get your clothes washed/dry cleaned. If you don't just remember to look them over the night before to make sure there's no stains you missed or loose seams or something (I've also had PNM's have their dress rip. Thank god for safety pins.)
Here's my random advice:
-Ask questions. Do not worry about how many or how often. It's better to be informed and your Recruitment Counselors are there to help you.
-Bring a tote bag to put heels in when you wear them so you can wear flip flops between parties. Some other items to put in the tote: breath mints (no gum! people forget and walk into parties smacking it...not a good call), shine blotting sheets if you get a shiny face, a brush or comb, some powder if you wear it, a small mirror, deodorant if you're like me and you can't handle the heat outside, safety pins, and bobby pins if you use them. I also always have a hair rubberband just in case it gets so hot I can't stand the hair lying on my neck. If you wear make up get some that's waterproof, because it's hot outside. Sweat happens.
-Leave the perfume at home. It's just too tempting to overload it when everyone is afraid of smelling like they've been walking through 90 degree heat.
-Smile even when your cheeks start to hurt.
-Get plenty of sleep each night!
-Be yourself, because there's no point in wanting to join a house where you have to be someone else.
-Walk that line between bragging and building yourself up. Yeah, no one likes a Boasting Betty, but it's important they remember that you are awesome, and why.
-Remember it's supposed to be fun. If you're the kind of person that is good at rushing from one thing to the next and staying on the ball it'll be easy for you to have fun (and if you are one of those people, I'm jealous), but if you're one of us ADD people, it can get overwhelming. So if you're in our club, just breathe and make some friends so you can get overwhelmed together. Then it's not so bad, AND you'll have fun.

(Re: moving in...don't be me and take every item of clothing you own. The day you move out you'll want to hit yourself in the head very hard for bringing so much crap.)

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

The entire recruitment process is "simplistically inconsequential frivolity."

No, it isn't.

And WOW. You really thought of that.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

No, it isn't.

And WOW. You really thought of that.

Please read the rest of my post. 1000+ girls a day. I do not for a second believe each one is chosen on basis of character only. That's just not the case. For every woman that IS chosen solely because she is a good, happy person, there is another chosen solely because she is pretty or because of who she knows.

Again, I just don't understand the constant denial. Even in the work world, sometimes good people are passed over because another candidate has a flashier resume, even though the other candidate is a complete bitch. I mean jesus, all these kids were judged just to get into the college they're attending. Were they picked because they have great personalities? Probably not. They were reduced to GPA's and resumes. It's not all warm fuzzies and bffs and puppies and unicorns.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Please read the rest of my post.

I read it all before I quoted you.

There are components of recruitment that are considered frivolous by some (or many), but it is ridiculous to reduce recruitment itself to frivolity. FAIL.

[NUBlue&Blue]

Originally Posted by Loyally Kappa

I went to a big SEC school (Florida). My girls were/are at a big SEC school (Alabama). I teach at a big SEC school (Ole Miss). We all know that as soon as the bids go out and come in, everyone in the house will be back in Nike shorts and teeshirts. I teach these girls. I see what they look like before, during and after rush.

Sure, they need to have some decent outfits for rush so that they will feel confident and fit in with the rest of the crowd. (Yeah, I'm old ... I still call it rush.) But get over the clothes already.

This makes me laugh out loud...granted, my girls went/go to Georgia Tech, but I can't tell you how many times I'd go down there to drop something off and they'd meet me in their soffee shorts and some sorority party t-shirt, no makeup and ponytail. Go to lunch in the student center and it was universal. Always made me wonder where they were wearing all those clothes they were buying at JCrew and Anthropologie!

My son is going to Ole Miss....can't wait to take him to college. It's been a LONG summer.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I read it all before I quoted you.

There are components of recruitment that are considered frivolous by some (or many), but it is ridiculous to reduce recruitment itself to frivolity. FAIL.

In your personal opinion.

I have always found the process to be frivolous and in general, silly. I genuinely use the word silly. We sit in parties in cute dresses, making small talk with our peers, and then choose our new members based on that small time together combined with the application they sent in. We watch what we say, follow a myriad of complicated and as my mom would say "nit-picky" rules, and yes, even make comments about what girls are wearing. PNM's are just as likely to judge actives on appearance as actives are to do the same to PNM's. Probably more so, since PNM's are new to the whole process and can get overwhelmed trying to remember 15 different sororities. It's easy to break them into categories. Who is hot...who is not.

Who here is going to pretend they or someone in their recruitment group DIDN'T once say "I like them but they're so (insert shallow derogatory comment here)"? Some girls are given bids because they are funny, nice, down to earth women who are kind to others. But sometimes a girl gets dropped because she dated a sister's ex boyfriend. Or because she shows a little too much cleavage. Or because her GPA is a smidge too low. Or because she did that one keg stand the first week of school. Maybe those girls are all extremely amazing people who are great listeners, selfless, and kind. Sometimes a girl gets a bid because she's best friends with an active. Or because she's extremely pretty. Or because her cousin is someone famous. Or because her mom is a very active alum. Maybe all those girls are selfish, rude, and obnoxious. Yep. Silly. And our sisters did the same thing to us the year before. It's a week long audition and both actives and PNMs are putting on a show...that may or may not reflect who they will be after recruitment is over and bids are given out. Expecting thousands of college aged women to make very mature decisions at all turns isn't realistic.

I very much love my organization and being in a sorority certainly shaped my college experience. I learned a LOT about how to interact with others, how to balance a million things at once, how to make rules and how to follow them, and made many friends that I will have for years to come. I love that I share a ritual with thousands of other women that I've never even met. That's pretty cool. Oh, and I had a lot of fun, too. But at the end of the day, it's just a sorority.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

In your personal opinion.

No, I'm suddenly the spokesperson for the nonfrivolity of NPC recruitment.

I know I'm not the only person who sees the hypocrisy, hilarity, and blahzeyblah of this convo.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

I very much love my organization and being in a sorority certainly shaped my college experience. I learned a LOT about how to interact with others, how to balance a million things at once, how to make rules and how to follow them, and made many friends that I will have for years to come. I love that I share a ritual with thousands of other women that I've never even met. That's pretty cool. Oh, and I had a lot of fun, too. But at the end of the day, it's just a sorority.

LOL. This was almost a good save until the bolded.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

No, I'm suddenly the spokesperson for the nonfrivolity of NPC recruitment.

I know I'm not the only person who sees the hypocrisy, hilarity, and blahzeyblah of this convo.

Okkkk...good for you?

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Oh, and I had a lot of fun, too. But at the end of the day, it's just a sorority.

I just vomited.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

I just vomited.

Hope you made it to the trash can. The day I take my organization as seriously as I take my education, family, etc. is the day I lose sight of what I enjoy about it.