too many rec letters?

smho · #1 07-26-2007, 09:35 AM

Hi
I was wondering, is there such a thing as too many letters of recommendations for a sorority? Will a sorority think it's "over kill" if they get 8 or so for one person? Please answer ASAP.
Thanks, S
Now that I have read your answers to YES it is overkill to have more than 2-3. How bad am I going to look when one sorority gets 5-6? I didnt know what girls would actually follow thru and write a rec or if they were just saying "yes" and not really committing. Most of these would be fill in forms if they did do one. Will that make me look better or worse? Is this going to hurt my chances in getting into those with more than 3 recs? Should I contact the sororities in advance and say SORRY for the overkill? Totally clueless on what to do.
please help thanks

33girl · #2 07-26-2007, 09:40 AM

yes, 8 sounds like overkill and can make the sorority feel pressured. Most people who've attended schools where recs are important say 2 or 3 is the limit before it gets obnoxious.

You can do a search here and see if anyone's posted anything about the school you're attending in particular - it may give you more of an idea what to do. Good luck!

cuteASAbug · #3 07-26-2007, 09:41 AM

It depends on the school and the greek system there, but as a general rule of thumb, I think that 8 recs is definitely overkill. I think that for SEC recruitments, you're recommended to get 2-3, so I can't imagine needing more than that for any recruitment. If my chapter got 8 recs all for the same pnm, I would be inclined to think that she was a little desperate.

dgdramadawg · #4 07-26-2007, 10:08 AM

Generally, yes, having more than 2-3 recs is overkill. From my POV, it is rare that if you have more than 2 recs the chapter will be able to discern any different information from the others that is not provided in the 2.

Here's the exception:

We had a girl go through one year who had something like 7 family members in DG. She also had a couple of friends in DG on another campus. We received 9 or 10 recs for her, as I recall. You can't really blame the overkill on the PNM when this is a family member or lifelong friend who is writing the rec. It might have hurt some feelings if she told them "I'm sorry, but I can only have 2-3 recs, so I have to pick 2-3 of you and the rest will not be allowed to sponsor me." She did the right thing by letting them all sponsor her, PLUS because she had different relationships with each rec writer, each rec was able to tell us about a different aspect of her that we couldn't see in the other recs.

adpiucf · #5 07-26-2007, 11:42 AM

I still remember receiving 5 ADPi recs one year on a girl who was a Chi Omega legacy. I remember this because we got the same form filled out with the exact same things, FIVE times. We got FIVE identical photos of her. It was basically the same recommendation, signed by 5 different ADPis.

It was actually pretty funny. I don't where she ended up pledging or if she pledged anywhere, but I'd imagine if she had 5 ADPi recs, she probably had the same amount for every other chapter.

And I can't even imagine how many recs our Chi-O chapter received for her!!!

One rec per sorority is sufficient, followed by 1-3 letters of support from alumnae. The letters (1-2 pages long each) help flesh out your application with personal anecdotes about your sisterhood attributes.

If you have an outpouring of ladies offering to help, that's amazing-- if you end up getting more than one rec/referernce form, it's ok-- but just remember that it's the same information.

Over and over and over again.

A letter would be better, but 1-3 letters will say just as much as 5-10!

You can say, "I appreciate your offer to help so much! I have a rec and letters for XYZ sorority, so I am definitely covered there, but I would love your advice about recruitment/share your sorority stories with me/I still need recs for ABC; would you happen to know how I might find someone?/etc."

I don't think anyone will be over-alienated by being told that they don't have to fill out a form, possibly follow-up with you, mail it for you, etc. They just want to help. So let them tell you about their experience with Greek Life or give you some tips for recruitment conversation.

ETA: Where someone has multiple relatives in the same sorority who want to help, I guess it's a judgement call on the part of the PNM and her family members.

FSUZeta · #6 07-26-2007, 02:51 PM

i will give you the point of view of a recruitment advisor:

i would never allow a pnm to be "penalized" if the chapter i advise received multiple recs. for her. i would probably look each rec. over to make sure that the information was consistent,then i would staple them all together and keep them in our rec. file. no harm, no foul.

adpiucf's suggestion of one rec. form and a couple of letters of support is excellent advice. the rec. forms are fill in the blanks, but a personal letter accompanying the required form would be wonderful additional information that would help the chapter better see where this pnm might fit into the chapter and the contributions she would be likely to make as a member.

i would run the risk of having too many recommendations, rather than hurt an alumna's feelings.

33girl · #7 07-26-2007, 03:01 PM

I think (and hope the sororities could discern) that there's a difference between your mom and her 6 sisters who are all KKGs all sending in a rec for you (with or without asking you) because they all love you, and going out and getting a bunch of info-only recs from people you barely know or don't know at all just to have a pile of recs. The first is understandable and excusable, the second looks like you're just trying to cow the sorority into submission under the weight of your recs.

DeltaBetaBaby · #8 07-26-2007, 07:16 PM

If you think women may send in recs for you unsolicited, don't worry about it. It will be obvious in reading them that they know you personally and want to help you out.

TSteven · #9 07-27-2007, 03:01 PM

Would it be appropriate to have more than one alumna sign off on a recommendation or a letter of support? Perhaps a local alumnae group happens to know the PNM and they all want to "sign off" on the letter. Or using the example provided by dgdramadawg, could a single recommendation or letter of support have been sent and signed by all seven family members?

adpiucf · #10 07-27-2007, 03:24 PM

A reference form has room for one signature. However, there's no reason that a letter of support could not be co-authored.

But 9 times out of 10, there is no need to co-author a letter b/c most PNMs are seeking only 1-3 letters of support and the alumnae know that will be sufficient. I can't imagine this happening on a very frequent basis. Even if the young lady has relatives high up in the organization, they know what will be acceptable and what will be overkill.

More recs =/= better chances
Being a quadruple legacy =/= better chances

Having good grades, activities and references = better chances

Someday, my friend's daughter will hypothetically go through recruitment. She has an ADPi grandmother and 2 ADPi aunts. I'd love to help her if she has any questions about recruitment, but I know that between being a legacy to Grandma and having 2 aunts in the sorority, she's covered.

I could probably be of more help digging other sorority alumnae references out of the woodwork for her. Or being around if she wants any non-family members' advice on recruitment. Or sending her a present.

Zillini · #11 07-28-2007, 09:21 AM

Everyone has echoed my thoughts. 1-3 is sufficient, more than that is pointless and bordering on annoying especially if they are generic, info only recs. However if a pnm has a dozen ADPi relatives and/or close family friends who all write glowing letters of Rec I would never hold that against the pnm. On the contrary, I think it's wonderful. It shows that ADPi is an important part of her life.