Living in the house

victoriana · #1 01-10-2012, 12:27 AM

Sooo I know I have been here a while and this may seem like an asinine question, but I genuinely need input. It's my last year next year and I'm graduating spring 2013, and I haven't lived in the house yet. According to our bylaws, everyone has to live in the house before graduation, but due to the smaller size of our house, not everyone always does end up living in. I'm faced with the option of living in or living on my own and I need to decide really soon. I am not going to be forced to or anything, but yeah.

I have lived on my own for the past 2 years, so living in the house will be a big change for me. I've only ever lived with 3 room mates at the most. I grew up having my own bedroom and bathroom and the privacy that comes with it. I'm just nervous about this going in. I'm also kind of nervous about the drama that may go on. I'm hoping to get some input from some of you ladies who live/lived in their sorority house as far as what to expect. What do you think?

DrPhil · #2 01-10-2012, 12:55 AM

You listed cons but no pros. It sounds like you do not really want this. If this is only a loose requirement that will not be enforced, I say opt out.

I was never a roommate person--before or after becoming a Delta. I'm going back 10-13 years but a few instances of my line sisters and chapter Sorors living together when we were collegiates AND alumnae went horribly wrong. We spent so much time together and sometimes chose to spend the night at each other's rooms/apartments/homes. That's by choice. It would have sucked if we all had to go back to the same house. We would have driven each other crazy. Years ago we discussed getting a chapter house which is already difficult for small NPHC chapters. We quickly bored of that discussion and moved on to more exciting things--as far as we were concerned.

psusue · #3 01-10-2012, 12:57 AM

The year before I lived on the floor I was an RA and had a whole double room to myself. No kitchen or anything, but still all my own space. Take it from me, the floor was 80000000x better for me than living alone. The crazy antics, the support, the always having someone to go eat with, always having something to do, random movie nights, dance parties, never watching your favorite show alone, gym buddies, ice cream buddies, etc.

I'd say that yes, there is drama and yes, there are times when you just need to get away, but if you have a car (or just friends with apartments) you should be fine. Sometimes it's hard to be all sorority all the time but honestly, for me, living on the floor just helped me integrate my life better, because all of my meetings and most of the people I needed to do things with were living with me. In all honesty, despite the few rough patches, my year on the floor was the best year socially out of my college experience. And if nothing else, it's one year of your life. And it's like we tell the PNMs all the time; if you don't do it, you'll never know what you could have been missing.

ElieM · #4 01-10-2012, 01:24 AM

would you get consideration as a Senior about perhaps getting a larger room? or one to yourself?

ASTalumna06 · #5 01-10-2012, 01:56 AM

For me, I always had bad/weird roommate experiences in college, so in my junior year when I had the option to live on my own (still on campus), I did. I like having my own space. If my chapter had a house, I don't know that living in would really appeal to me. But everyone is different.

A few things I'd suggest doing:

1) Think about your own habits. Will they interfere with the girls in the house? For example, I'm a night owl, so I always felt bad about watching tv/being on my computer late at night and possibly keeping my roommate/suite-mates up.

2) What would you be gaining? What are the benefits? Are there things that you feel you'd truly be missing out on if you never lived in?

3) Consider the fact that you're a senior. If you're living in, crazy antics and dance parties - as psusue mentioned - might not appeal to you anymore. Or maybe you're looking to live it up in your last 2 semesters? Think about what you're looking for from your last year of school.

ETA: Another suggestion - request that you be able to stay in the house for a week this semester. Pack a bag and bring an air mattress. Either that, or maybe you could even get one of the sisters to trade places with you and you could stay in their room while they stayed at your place. Live in the house from Friday night to Sunday of the following weekend. It might give you a better idea of what to expect and help you to make a well-informed decision.

psusue · #6 01-10-2012, 02:20 PM

Just as a note, I was a senior while living on the floor and I highly enjoyed the antics. However I also had the sweetest, most understanding, and best roommate ever and we were both super chill about almost everything. I also am not a picky roommate whatsoever (never had a bad roommate experience, just some weird ones), but still, I think everyone who lived on our floor enjoyed it at least 90% of the time. Which is still a good percentage, IMO.

DubaiSis · #7 01-10-2012, 02:38 PM

I loved living in the house and did so for 3 years. We had a big beautiful house and I had the foresight to know I'd never live in a house like that again in my life. On the other hand, I am one of 5 children who are all VERY close in age, lived in a dorm for a year, the sorority for 3 and then lived at a resort with all the staff seemingly piled to the rafters together, so privacy wasn't really something I understood until my mid-20's.

Still, even if it's kind of weird for you, it is an experience you will never get to have again in your life. I would do it because you can live alone in an apartment for the rest of your life, but you can only do this now. You will find your concept of sorority changes dramatically and your bonds to your sisters will grow much deeper. Hanging with them at meetings or parties is one thing. Dealing with a sister with "the flu" barfing in your communal bathroom or being there when one of your sisters gets "that call" from the guy she likes, or one of a million other things you wouldn't otherwise experience actually makes your life richer.

KSUViolet06 · #8 01-10-2012, 03:01 PM

Prior to living in my chapter house, I had NEVER had a roommate and had always had a suite on campus where I only shared my suite bathroom with one other person. I'm also an introvert. So I was nervous going into the house (I also did so in my senior year of all times. lol.)

I ended up really enjoying the experience and being super sad to leave. I think it helped that I chose my roommate (someone I knew kind of well) and we had our own bathroom because we were the only people on the ground floor.

I find that when I needed alone time or had stuff to do, I could just shut my door and no one would bug me. When I wanted to be around people, I would go upstairs and study in the lounges and hang out. I'm also a relatively low drama person, so if it didn't involve me, I stayed out of it.

It's a really unique experience (very few people can say they've lived with 17 people) and in the end I was still glad I did it.

BraveMaroon · #9 01-10-2012, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

Still, even if it's kind of weird for you, it is an experience you will never get to have again in your life. I would do it because you can live alone in an apartment for the rest of your life, but you can only do this now.

Exactly.

And I'm telling you as someone who was totally unsuited to living in the house. I am a person who needs a lot of downtime to recharge from people. I was a light sleeper who went to bed early because I ALWAYS had a 7:30 AM class. I tended to get sick every November like clockwork. I was grumpy, I didn't tolerate noise or drama well. I didn't like sharing, and I had a roommate who helped herself to my lipstick often. I needed quiet to study, and had another roommate who preferred the background noise of one of her many Disney movies (or Pretty In Pink, which I have now memorized).

In many ways, it was a disaster. And if you were to ask my roommates, I'm sure they'd agree that I am not up for any Roomie of the Year awards.

But I wouldn't trade it for anything - it made me learn to give up some of my quirks and work around others.

And I had some of the best day of my life under that roof, and some of the worst.

I lived in house for half my freshman year, all of my sophomore and junior years. My senior year, I shared an apartment - it was OK, but the house was really home...

DeltaBetaBaby · #10 01-10-2012, 03:08 PM

I think that living in the house is harder than having your own place, and it is also more rewarding. It sounds like you don't want to do it, but part of college is learning, and I think that living with your chapter sisters teaches you a lot about other people. So, even if it is more stressful, maybe it would be good for you in the long run.

victoriana · #11 01-10-2012, 03:38 PM

Wow! Thank you for all the amazing advice. A lot of the things you said I wouldn't have even thought of. After talking with my big and some other girls who lived/are living in the house I got a lot of really valuable input. It's not that I don't want to do it at all... before I was faced with the possibility of having to live in the house, I was like, "YES, I would love to live in the house if I had the chance!" but now the practical side of me is setting in which is where the hesitancy came from, I think.

After giving it a LOT of thought, I think it would be a good thing for me to live in. I do sometimes feel a bit of a disconnect from chapter, especially with being on e-board and living off campus. To me, our house is already home, so how bad could living in really be? Plus, I would be fine being room mates with almost any of the girls. Based on what our housing director said, I won't get a single unless one of the older-in-chapter girls wants a double. I do get first pick of which double and what room mate I want though, which is good. Thanks again for all your words of advice and encouragement. I know I can always count on my GC ladies.

LOL98 · #12 04-19-2013, 02:41 PM

I have a few questions, all with the same topic. (I'm new here, so please don't hate me if someone else has posted this. Trust me I've searched for a thread concerning my top).

My sorority wants to get a house and I was wondering how do we go about it? My question is not regarding house structure, but more of how other sororities pay for rent? Is the house under your national org, alumni, or through the university? Which would be best? Any other info. would also be appreciated. Thank you.

Kevin · #13 04-19-2013, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LOL98

My sorority wants to get a house and I was wondering how do we go about it?

Do you not have a house corporation?

If you're part of a national organization, there are people in your organization you need to talk to before taking that kind of step.

If you're a local, I suppose the easiest thing to do would be to just go rent a place and have the chapter pay part of the rent and those living in pay the rest of it.

Make sure to talk to a lawyer, get lease forms, etc. It also would be smart to form a corporation or LLC with its own EIN so you can keep your house expenses (like mowing and utilities) and your regular operating expenses separate.

Aside from just renting and sharing rent, you're going to get into some serious legal/tax issues which as a collegian are way above your pay grade right now.

If you have any sort of organized alumnae, this would be something they'd be better equipped to handle.

adpiucf · #14 04-19-2013, 03:31 PM

Talk to your national leadership.

AnchorAlumna · #15 04-19-2013, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LOL98

I have a few questions, all with the same topic. (I'm new here, so please don't hate me if someone else has posted this. Trust me I've searched for a thread concerning my top).

My sorority wants to get a house and I was wondering how do we go about it? My question is not regarding house structure, but more of how other sororities pay for rent? Is the house under your national org, alumni, or through the university? Which would be best? Any other info. would also be appreciated. Thank you.

Depends on the campus. Does your campus have houses? Do the sororities have suites in dorms?
Regardless, usually a house corporation actually owns or leases the building or suite, owns the furniture, pays for repairs etc. The house corporation is made up of chapters members, both alumnae and collegiate.
It's paid for by the chapter members. One of the items on your bill will be "rent" if you live in, and "parlor fees" if you live out (if you live out, you still help use the electricity, water, air conditioning, furniture, insurance, taxes etc when you are there).
Your sorority should have lots of information on this, probably through a manual that you can see online with a password. Talk to your officers and/or advisor.