This is not meant in a perverted way...

[meridionaleDG]

but what immeditaly comes to mind when someone tells you they are a virgin? Do you think oh no, or oh yay! Or do you think maybe the person isn't very desirable?

And if you are a virgin (and don't mind sharing), do you feel uncomfortable to tell people (as in someone you are beginning to date) about your sexual expierence?

I ask this because last night I had a first date type of deal, and it came up that he was a virgin. He had been trying to lie about it all night because he was scared of what I would think. He said he usually doesn't lie, but he didn't want me to think bad of him, because usually whenever he tells a girl about it, she gets turned off.

For reasons, I was mad that he didn't tell me (no, we didn't have sex) about his virginity and all. We were having a heated conversation about sex, and I asked him how many people he slept with. He didn't want to tell me which led to me thinking okay this guy is a total ho, and then the lies went on from there so he wouldn't give away that he was a virgin.

I mean, do girls really get freaked out when a guy tells them he is a virgin? Is that the normal thing to do - because it really doesn't bother me at all, I just hated he had to feel like he needed to lie to me about it.

[OUlioness01]

i'm embarrassed when i tell people (esp guys) that i'm a virgin. i will only mention it under extreme circumstances/pressure

[valkyrie]

I would find it very unappealing if a guy told me he was a virgin. I would think that it was either because he was undesirable or very religious, neither of which appeal to me at all. Plus I wouldn't want to have to teach someone what to do.

[AXJules]

I really have no experience with this, but I think that it just comes from not wanting to be someone's first.

Let me preface this by saying that I'm sure its a big deal to a lot of guys, and i don't want to portray guys as like, lusting after virgins, but just based on the way things are physically, guys get more of a thrill out of taking a girl's virginity than the other way around.
-Think about it, a guy is kind of in control of what goes on, but if you're a girl and you're his first you can't really, like, tell him how to do it...i dunno its hard to explain, this probably makes no sense, lol...basically if a guy is with a girl and its her first time all she really has to do is lie there, but in the reverse situation its probably more awkward. Then for the girl, there's the responsibility of teaching him what to do.

I really have no opinion on the subject, it wouldn't really change my mind either way about him, although I'd definitely be pissed if he lied- I think if I was in your shoes I would have called him on that for sure.

[trisigmaAtl]

it doesn't bother me, you don't rush into sex as quickly (which can sometimes cloud the beginning of a relationship) and if you do sleep together you don't have any bad habits to break. You get to train the guy to do things the way you like them. I think guys might worry about it though because it might hurt their egos a little. you know, the want to be able to "perform" as well as other guys. Virginity for religious reasons is different, if I ever dated a guy that was that way then I would feel guilty for NOT being a virgin!!!

[sigmagrrl]

I can say that I was always embarrassed to tell people b/c I felt undesirable...

[KappaKittyCat]

I joke that guys who prefer virgins do so because virgins can't tell the difference between a good lay and a bad one.

I'm with Valkyrie when she says, "I would think that it was either because he was undesirable or very religious, neither of which appeal to me at all."

However, if a guy were decent and sweet and just waiting for the right time/person, then I'd be thrilled if he wanted me to be his first. But really, how many of those exist?

[meridionaleDG]

Originally posted by KappaKittyCat
I joke that guys who prefer virgins do so because virgins can't tell the difference between a good lay and a bad one.

I'm with Valkyrie when she says, "I would think that it was either because he was undesirable or very religious, neither of which appeal to me at all."

However, if a guy were decent and sweet and just waiting for the right time/person, then I'd be thrilled if he wanted me to be his first. But really, how many of those exist?

You know I really do think he is one of those guys who wants to be with a person he really truely cares about first.

I know he can get girls, he plays acoustic guitar and sings in a band and it just makes girls melt. They try to get all over him, but he knows it is purely superficial. They just want a John Mayer fantasy. Believe me, I melt whenever he plays guitar and sings - but I didn't know that was something he did when I first met him.

I don't know - I kind of thought about maybe girls didn't want him like that, but I asked him why exactly. And he said he's had opportunities, but it just wasn't the right time or place. I don't know.

I called him out for lying to me, but I don't know how I am any better for doing that because it did kind of put a negative thing in my head. I don't understand why a lot of girls (myself included) think that because a guy isn't expierenced that must mean that no girls want him. I guess we are just so used to guys talking about how many girls they have done, and that whole "cool" perception might have rubbed off on us.

But I agree KappaKittyKat, if I was with a guy who was waiting for the right person to come along, and he decided he wanted to share his first time with me, it would make me feel kind of special. (Now every guy on this forum will tell all their buddies about this, and we will have a new wave of "Baby this is my first time, but you are the person I want to share it with!" hahah)

[Munchkin03]

It depends...if it's a potential partner, I'd be concerned for the reasons behind it. If it was because he was undesirable or religious, I'd be much more wary than if he was really waiting for the right person to come around.

I feel like some of the people who like to announce that they are V-card holders are doing so out of a sense of self-righteousness or overly religious fanaticism. If a potential partner was like that, he wouldn't have a chance for me to swipe that card.

[dixie wrecked]

Personally speaking I wouldn't mind dating a virgin, but I would have to consider them something special...because it can honestly be a pain to date someone who is sexually inept. All the things that you take for granted (ie. kissing) can be awkward with a person that doesn't really know how. Although I would be flattered by anyone who though I was special enough to share something like that with me I would have to work toward the actual moment.

[absolutuscchick]

Originally posted by KappaKittyCat
I'm with Valkyrie when she says, "I would think that it was either because he was undesirable or very religious, neither of which appeal to me at all."

However, if a guy were decent and sweet and just waiting for the right time/person, then I'd be thrilled if he wanted me to be his first. But really, how many of those exist?

I agree 100%!!

[Rio_Kohitsuji]

Okay, well, my ex-boyfriend despied the fact I was a virgin, hell, we dated for 2 years and he wouldn't "take" it. Dumbass. So by the time I got to college I wasn't feeling umm..very sexually attrative. When I first met Dusty I tried to keep it on the down low as soon as possible because he was not -at all- a virgin, heh. I finally broke down and told him and he was so estatic he about fell off the bed! (he had the top bunk in the dorm, lol) So, I was much more apt and ready to romp w/him, LOL!!

So, in my experience guys I much more happier about it (Except when they're a$$holes)

[crystalline]

The guy I'm with now has only been with me, and I like that. I didn't have any bad habits to undo. However, with previous guys, who were not virgins, it was a pain in the ass, some because they thought since they'd slept with "X" number of girls, that they were the $h1t.

[KappaKittyCat]

He plays acoustic guitar and sings in a band and it just makes girls melt.

Ooh, those are the best/worst! I had a horrible crush on one this fall. Danger, Will Robinson! I always go for the guitar player.

I do believe that some guys exist who are honestly waiting for "that someone special." I know that both my XBF and I were-- we were each other's first-- and I can understand that. I guess I've become cynical in my old age. I think it has something to do with my standards lowering after the first (see the "After Virginity" thread).

[honeychile]

Originally posted by meridionaleDG
but what immeditaly comes to mind when someone tells you they are a virgin?

My very first thoughts would be, "WOW!!!! Not even a chance of disease!!!"

The second would be, "This guy must really have his head together." But then again, I don't date outside my religious beliefs.