How to motivate girls to go to social events!

[ZTAmazing13]

I am apart of a new chapter, so its our first year and none of us know what we are doing!! We have one huge issue...the girls never go out to parties and we are getting a terrible reputation on campus for not showing up. Its so bad that some frats refuse to party with us now. What can I do to motivate girls to go out that isnt hazing, because we are new, nationals is still really involved in everything we do, so we cant do anything questionable. Thanks for the help!!

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ZTAmazing13

...because we are new, nationals is still really involved in everything we do....

lane swerve/

In that case, does your NHQ or alumnae/regional body offer any suggestions?

What do your sisters say when you ask them why they do not attend social events?

/lane swerve

[amIblue?]

From an NPC perspective, you can't do anything questionable insofar as hazing whether or not your nationals are present.

Could you develop some sort of point system and offer prizes for the sisters with the most points? Assign a different number of points for different types of events, and tally them up at the end of the month, semester, etc.

Talk to your advisers. They will have had experience with these types of issues, and they should be able to offer some suggestions.

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

Could you develop some sort of point system and offer prizes for the sisters with the most points? Assign a different number of points for different types of events, and tally them up at the end of the month, semester, etc.

My Phi Sig chapter used the point system (minus the prizes) and it worked really well. Each brother had to earn a total number of points made up of a certain number of required points in each category (social, service, initiation, alumnae, scholarship, etc) for the entire semester.

Any brother that didn't meet the point requirement was brought up for suspension the following semester.

[33girl]

Just the title of this thread makes me sad. You can't get girls to go to SOCIAL events??? What are their excuses?

Are the events all dry? Is that part of the problem? (If they aren't dry, it may be that they cannot make them mandatory.)

Are they weeknights or weekends? Are your sisters all in very demanding majors?

When you vote on whether or not you're going to have a mixer, put it in the bylaws (if you can, if not just have the social chair state it very strongly before the vote) that if someone votes Yes - they are committing to being there. None of this "oh, I thought other people would like it, so I voted yes even though I have no intention of going." Better to have two really awesome mixers a semester with the majority of sisters there and everyone having fun, than to try and have a full social calendar and doing what you have done now, which is run your rep into the ground because no one shows up.

After typing all this, I reread your post. Do you mean MIXERS (your sorority and a fraternity having a private party, no outsiders) or do you just mean regular old fraternity parties? If it's the latter, there really isn't jack you can do if it's not a voted on event. Just think about this the next time rush comes around and don't pledge a bunch of bumps on logs.

I would also have your social chair and programming VP (or whatever she's called) contact your HQ. If this is your first year, more than likely your HQ had a part in selecting the current members of your chapter. Let them know they have selected some members who are missing a very important component of being a well rounded young woman.

[HQWest]

This isn't clear from your post but it is something that came up when I was advising. Other chapters on campus were having Socials or Mixers - closed parties with only the girls from one or two sororities and only guys from one or two fraternities. We are going to try having more Date Parties - each girl brings her date or a Grab a Date - you grab someone on the way to the party.

Apparently we've been overlooking the fact that most of the girls already have a steady beau and they aren't all in one or two fraternities. These girls felt awkward going to parties without said beau in tow so they didn't show.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by HQWest

This isn't clear from your post but it is something that came up when I was advising. Other chapters on campus were having Socials or Mixers - closed parties with only the girls from one or two sororities and only guys from one or two fraternities. We are going to try having more Date Parties - each girl brings her date or a Grab a Date - you grab someone on the way to the party.

Apparently we've been overlooking the fact that most of the girls already have a steady beau and they aren't all in one or two fraternities. These girls felt awkward going to parties without said beau in tow so they didn't show.

Mixers aren't hookup parties. Girls should be able to go to them without their boyfriends. If they refuse to go to social events without their beaux, that's another part of the problem.

We always had a party for Bid Day (back when you could do such things) rather than a mixer, because we did have sisters whose boyfriends weren't Greek and we felt it was nice for them to be able to invite their guys to share their special night with them. That being said, we still scheduled regular mixers.

[Chadtyson]

If you let your girl child to participate in school activities since starting they will get interested in it.

[AXOmom]

ZTAmazing - my daughter is the social chair for her sorority (actually taking care of her last official social chair duty as we speak), so please understand that is my only frame of reference for what I am about to say.

To anyone on this forum, please feel free to step in and correct me if I say anyting out of bounds.

First, I feel like we aren't hearing the whole story. I can't think of many people in a sorority or in college for that matter who don't want to get out and meet new people. Particularly if they are freshman.

I understand that in any group there are some people who are naturally introverted, have steady boyfriends they are with 24/7, are double major in nuclear physics/micro biology, or are seniors who are partied out and just ready to be done with the whole thing, but unless you are in a sorority of 20 girls (maybe that's the case), the people who fit one of these categories shouldn't be a big enough group to affect you reputation.

Given that - I would figure out whether or not they don't like be socialble at all or they just don't like the sorority socials. Some possible reasons have been mentioned here, but the only way you are going to know is to ask. First thing daughter did as social chair was ask girls what they wanted to do and with whom.

Having said that, I know hers, like some of the ones mentioned here, gives points for coming to social events and it gives more to those who may not want to go for some reason and volunteer to stay at the house for girls who are uhmm... sent home. It isn't normally an issue- most girls want to come, but it is a motivator for the ones that ride the fence.

To HQWest -I think your point is valid and it is something the OP should consider, but I don't see why ALL events should be either with a specific fraternity or bring your own date (maybe I'm misunderstanding you). On her campus (and all the others in our area she knows about) they mix up the types of events - some you bring a date (whomever you want) and some are with specific fraternities. She tried to make sure they never did something with the same fraternity more than twice, so they did things with almost everyone's "favorite" at least once.

Otherwise I would agree with what 33girl said - Daughter has had a BF almost the entire time she's been in her sorority. He is in a fraternity. Some things they could go to with each other - some things they had to do separately. Going to a party for a couple of hours, meeting people, hanging out with her sisters, and then meeting up with him worked fine. Her reason for joining a sorority was to meet people and hopefully make some lifelong friendships. If she had refused to ever go anywhere with her sisters because her boyfriend couldn't go - she would have exactly one friend now - her boyfriend.

Oh, and 33girl - never fear - Bid Day parties are alive and well on her campus. They are (a week to a month) after the actual bid day and bid day activities- which are dry of course. They do them with a specific fraternity or two and yes, it is a party. Where there is a will, they'll find a way.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

What kind of events are being planned? Are the mixers on campus, and can women come and go as they please? After drinking in fraternities went the way of the passenger pigeon, we did a lot more off-campus stuff, like going to minor league sporting events and that sort of thing.

Now, these were fun events, but they also required that a) women commit in advance so tickets can be purchased and b) women get on the bus at 5 and don't get home until 1 or 2. They also require $$$ from the fraternities, so they will be extra-angry if nobody shows. Personally, I thought these events were more fun than hanging in a campus bar, BUT, more than one a semester is unrealistic.

If you are just talking about women going to general fraternity parties, that's a bit tougher. You obviously can't make anything mandatory, but you can explain to girls how it affects PR in general, like "we should really show up to XYZ's big event if we want them to come out for our philanthropy tournament this year" sorta thing.

[FSUZeta]

talk to your TLC- even if she is not present at your campus right now, send her an email/text and ask her for advice. do you know ZTAs in other chapters? ask them what they do.

if you were a colony, you all had a huge time commitment. things might change next semester, since you are probably now a chapter, and the time commitment will not be as big.

does your chapter have a points system? after x amount of points are earned, the member can choose which non-mandatory events she attends. it allows leeway within the system for the member to plan ahead as to which events she will attend, and also allows for working around her study schedule.

how much lead time does the chapter receive for these events? are they on the semester calendar-or are these events taking place the week they are announced in chapter?

give us more info. we may be able to offer more concrete advice.

[33girl]

FSUZeta - can social events be mandatory if they don't have alcohol? Or is not even that not allowed?

[crescent&pearls]

Originally Posted by ZTAmazing13

I am apart of a new chapter, so its our first year and none of us know what we are doing!! We have one huge issue...the girls never go out to parties and we are getting a terrible reputation on campus for not showing up. Its so bad that some frats refuse to party with us now.

If your girls don't want to go to the "party" maybe it's because the guys need step up and do their part in being good co-hosts. You as your chapter's social chair can clearly communicate your expectations to your co-hosts when you plan your event, so think out what your expectations are and work together to plan an event that will be fun for everyone...which includes everyone who isn't drinking or may have a boyfriend o girlfriend not present.

Really, how much fun is it to show up to a party with 100 plus girls who dressed up and came to socialize, to arrive to a bare room, music blasting...but there is no food, nothing to drink, 30-40 guys who look like they just rolled in from washing their cars, and just stand there watching them talking to each other?

A great social event, to me, includes several elements, none of which involve hazing or overindulging in the refreshments. A great social event is held at a welcoming venue with some ambiance. There is probably a theme, which does not have to be overt but gives some cohesiveness to the decorations, food and entertainment and gives everyone an idea of how to dress and what they will be doing at the event.

A great social event involves the guests in doing something that gives them an opportunity to talk to each other. There's a reason people use games or "ice breakers" at parties- they work!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by crescent&pearls

If your girls don't want to go to the "party" maybe it's because the guys need step up and do their part in being good co-hosts. You as your chapter's social chair can clearly communicate your expectations to your co-hosts when you plan your event, so think out what your expectations are and work together to plan an event that will be fun for everyone...which includes everyone who isn't drinking or may have a boyfriend o girlfriend not present.

Really, how much fun is it to show up to a party with 100 plus girls who dressed up and came to socialize, to arrive to a bare room, music blasting...but there is no food, nothing to drink, 30-40 guys who look like they just rolled in from washing their cars, and just stand there watching them talking to each other?

A great social event, to me, includes several elements, none of which involve hazing or overindulging in the refreshments. A great social event is held at a welcoming venue with some ambiance. There is probably a theme, which does not have to be overt but gives some cohesiveness to the decorations, food and entertainment and gives everyone an idea of how to dress and what they will be doing at the event.

A great social event involves the guests in doing something that gives them an opportunity to talk to each other. There's a reason people use games or "ice breakers" at parties- they work!

You do realize these are parties for 18-21 year old people who often don't have a lot of money, right? And that the OP never identified herself as social chair? (Heck, for all we know, everything is fine and she's just one lone person bitching because they don't mix every night with her favorite group.)

I doubt very much that the guys just "roll in" and the girls are dressed to the nines...if that's the guy MO at that campus, as it is at some campi, then the girls are the idiots. Put on jeans and a top and have fun. I've also heard a lot more guys complain about girls talking to only each other or keeping their heads stuck in their Blackberries than the other way around.

[excelblue]

Lane swerve here, but I have one question: are those social events / parties things that your sisters want to do?