Should you join a "lower tier" sorority?

[SigmaCat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Nothing is certain.

Absolutely true. My chapter lost its charter over a property dispute between our corp board and international. It had zero to do with our active membership. At the time of our closing, we were solidly middle-tier with good numbers and accomplished members. We were an old, single-letter chapter, the oldest continually-active chapter in the org. Given what we'd survived in the past, the closure was a shock. Even people who were familiar with the intensifying dispute never dreamed it would come tho this.

[calroses]

Originally Posted by SigmaCat

Absolutely true. My chapter lost its charter over a property dispute between our corp board and international. It had zero to do with our active membership. At the time of our closing, we were solidly middle-tier with good numbers and accomplished members. We were an old, single-letter chapter, the oldest continually-active chapter in the org. Given what we'd survived in the past, the closure was a shock. Even people who were familiar with the intensifying dispute never dreamed it would come tho this.

The XB, in truly childish fashion, took their frustration out on a bunch of collegians and future potential AOIIs, all because some alumnae refused to sign title to a multi-million dollar house over to them. AOII as an international organization is no longer about sisterhood; it's about money. And now they're running out of it. AOII Properties might well be the downfall of a sisterhood that has stood for over 120 years. For shame.

[WregleXO]

I know a very sweet girl who went through rush twice at her college - her mother had determined what the “top” sororities were on campus and had convinced her daughter that she had to be a member of one of those groups. Each year after she was cut by the “top” groups, daughter would drop out - even though she was still being invited to parties to the groups that her mother deemed not good enough. After her second rush, her mother actually asked me what schools she could transfer to and go through rush as a junior. Luckily she did not go through with the transfer. And the mother quit talking to me after she didn’t need me to write another rec.

[NYCMS]

Originally Posted by WregleXO

I know a very sweet girl who went through rush twice at her college - her mother had determined what the “top” sororities were on campus and had convinced her daughter that she had to be a member of one of those groups. Each year after she was cut by the “top” groups, daughter would drop out - even though she was still being invited to parties to the groups that her mother deemed not good enough. After her second rush, her mother actually asked me what schools she could transfer to and go through rush as a junior. Luckily she did not go through with the transfer. And the mother quit talking to me after she didn’t need me to write another rec.

Is this young woman now out of college? If so, how has she handled being on her own? Because when I see mamas like that, I cringe at the difficulty their children will have into becoming an adult and having to make their own decisions.

[WregleXO]

She graduated this past spring. She is back home and has a job - but I don’t know if she has moved back home or if she has her own place. The family dynamics are very weird.

[carnation]

I'm surprised that she didn't transfer and pledge one of her desired groups and come back and try to affiliate. Though that rarely works.

[Jen]

How different would the experience in a "lower tier" sorority really be?

You'll have sisterhood events. You'll have mixers with some fraternities. You'll have formals and semi formals. Scholarship opportunities. Can participate in Greek week. Will be able to attend regional events, conferences and conventions. Will be able to attend parties, host philanthropy events and volunteer with your philanthropy. So where are the real differences?

Maybe you'll have less numbers than the others (but, potentially, a closer sisterhood)? Maybe your alumnae network in that area will be smaller (especially if you're a newer chapter)? You'll maybe have a better COB program because your formal recruitment style is a bit weaker than others? People might say "they're lower tier"?

I can't think of too many differences, especially when it comes to the social aspect. The low tier sororities at my alma mater and the top tier groups do the exact same things. The experience is the same, ultimately.

[AlphaXi_Husky]

Originally Posted by Jen

How different would the experience in a "lower tier" sorority really be?

You'll have sisterhood events. You'll have mixers with some fraternities. You'll have formals and semi formals. Scholarship opportunities. Can participate in Greek week. Will be able to attend regional events, conferences and conventions. Will be able to attend parties, host philanthropy events and volunteer with your philanthropy. So where are the real differences?

Maybe you'll have less numbers than the others (but, potentially, a closer sisterhood)? Maybe your alumnae network in that area will be smaller (especially if you're a newer chapter)? You'll maybe have a better COB program because your formal recruitment style is a bit weaker than others? People might say "they're lower tier"?

I can't think of too many differences, especially when it comes to the social aspect. The low tier sororities at my alma mater and the top tier groups do the exact same things. The experience is the same, ultimately.

Is it similar? Yes. The same? Not entirely.

One of the bigger differences I can think of is if you're needing to constantly COB (as in not just two or three people). That can be really draining on members and take up time from other activities (school or sorority related). I've worked with chapters who rarely have to COB and those who have to COB constantly. It's a lot more work for the latter chapters and definitely affects chapter dynamics.

And of course, there could be reasons for the need to constantly COB that affects chapter dynamics as well (high turnover indicating poor chapter health).

[Jen]

I'm thinking the "lower tier" chapters at places like Bama and Ole Miss wouldn't have a COB issue ... the experience at places with big greek systems where quota and total are high are probably much more similar than a smaller system where you'd top out at 30-40 members.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AlphaXi_Husky

Is it similar? Yes. The same? Not entirely.

One of the bigger differences I can think of is if you're needing to constantly COB (as in not just two or three people). That can be really draining on members and take up time from other activities (school or sorority related). I've worked with chapters who rarely have to COB and those who have to COB constantly. It's a lot more work for the latter chapters and definitely affects chapter dynamics.

And of course, there could be reasons for the need to constantly COB that affects chapter dynamics as well (high turnover indicating poor chapter health).

Too often, the people telling chapters to COB constantly (as in parties every week) are from chapters who never had to do it and consequently, have no idea what they’re talking about.

How do you do it effectively? Maintain a wish list year round of qualities the chapter is looking for in sisters and women who are possible members. Every sister is in an extracurricular activity outside the sorority where they can meet unaffiliated women. Bring women to meet your closest friends (your sisters) with no pressure. Maintain the friendships you make. The woman who may not want or be able to pledge this fall may be ready for it the next fall and be a much more dedicated member. You should be able to keep the parties to one a month and when it’s time for a pledge class, you can bid women you’ve gotten to truly know.

Most of all, look beyond the freshman class, and don’t just get a list from the Greek life office of the women who weren’t bid and run around pell-mell trying to remember who they were from rush and bidding them. That is a sure way to have crazy amounts of chapter turnover.

Finally I don’t know how a sorority that is far behind in numbers can effectively catch up without having a pledge class in the spring (if formal rush is in the fall). Shoving everyone into one huge class is a sure way for women to feel lost in the shuffle and quit.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Too often, the people telling chapters to COB constantly (as in parties every week) are from chapters who never had to do it and consequently, have no idea what they’re talking about.

How do you do it effectively? Maintain a wish list year round of qualities the chapter is looking for in sisters and women who are possible members. Every sister is in an extracurricular activity outside the sorority where they can meet unaffiliated women. Bring women to meet your closest friends (your sisters) with no pressure. Maintain the friendships you make. The woman who may not want or be able to pledge this fall may be ready for it the next fall and be a much more dedicated member. You should be able to keep the parties to one a month and when it’s time for a pledge class, you can bid women you’ve gotten to truly know.

Most of all, look beyond the freshman class, and don’t just get a list from the Greek life office of the women who weren’t bid and run around pell-mell trying to remember who they were from rush and bidding them. That is a sure way to have crazy amounts of chapter turnover.

This. The main problem that COB chapters have is that they try and cram those parties into a week or two, bid who they can, and essentially give up after, or they're constantly having parties with a bunch of PNMs and requiring that all sisters are present. That certainly gets exhausting.

Making friends in a more natural way year-round should be the goal.

[OldFLDDD]

It does seem to me, on many campuses, that the "lower tier"/less desirable houses are often those with smaller membership nationwide, so this could also be a consideration. You'd still be able to find alumnae down the road, but it might be less common to come across a sister in day-to-day life if the house you are in has a lower number of total members vs. some of the larger GLOs. Just an additional consideration--not to steer anyone away from a smaller house where they feel at home! Some GLOs are also stronger in certain regions of the country than others also.

[33girl]

^^I think it’s more the age of the sorority chapter than its national size that determines that, FWIW.

[navane]

Originally Posted by AlphaXi_Husky

Is it similar? Yes. The same? Not entirely.

One of the bigger differences I can think of is if you're needing to constantly COB (as in not just two or three people). That can be really draining on members and take up time from other activities (school or sorority related). I've worked with chapters who rarely have to COB and those who have to COB constantly. It's a lot more work for the latter chapters and definitely affects chapter dynamics.

And of course, there could be reasons for the need to constantly COB that affects chapter dynamics as well (high turnover indicating poor chapter health).

I agree. I think that, for a chapter with fewer members than the others, the constant pressure to "catch-up" and the practical need for the members to have to double-up on officer positions has the potential to wear the membership down after a while. So, while holding a formal or philanthropy event is the same in concept, the practicalities of it are not at all the same experience. In other words, it's twice the work for a chapter half the size of her campus counterparts. That said, the very core function of our existence, sisterhood, should indeed be essentially the same.

[Sphinxie]

Having been through this with my daughter, I would say yes, if it's the type of school where it's important to be Greek. My daughter rushed freshman year at a very large state school with 12 chapters. She's attractive, petite, had good high school grades, and was involved in activities. However, hardly anyone from her high school went to that college, so she knew maybe 2-3 sorority members, none well. Nonetheless, she went to the full schedule of parties, including one group considered "top tier," for the first two invitational days.

The day of pref, she got cut by all but two sororities, which, because they're the only unhoused chapters on that campus, are considered lower tier. She says now that, had she not been invited back by the top tier house the day BEFORE pref, she might have had her hopes in a realistic place and stayed for pref. As it was, however, she was simply devastated and quit. I feel like she was also excessively concerned about what her high school friends might think because of Facebook, Instagram, and Greek rank.

She tried to get involved in other activities. She made one friend in -- surprise, surprise -- the better of the two groups she'd rejected. She made a few other friends in another lower tier sorority that cut her at pref. However, it was always a struggle to find someone to go out with. She became increasingly sad and dissatisfied with school.

Junior year, she decided to suck it up and rush again. Due to being a junior, and also, mediocre grades (brought on, in part, by her depression), she ended up being cut by all but one sorority from the first invitational night. The one sorority was the one she'd rejected in the first place, where she'd had a friend. Every day of rush, I hoped and prayed they'd keep inviting her back. The day of pref, when she didn't get "the call," I knew she was safe.

She's been in that rejected sorority for a month now. She's completely happy, and her grades are As and Bs. She's going bowling, to football games, or out with her big sis. Also, can I say that, having seen the photos people post on her social media pages, there is NOTHING wrong with these girls! I went to a smaller, private college with a smaller Greek system (though still in the South), and most of these girls would have gotten into good sororities, based upon their appearance. I don't know what the girls in the top tier sororities must look like!

Also, at her school, all the sororities are roughly the same size. At my university, the "good" sororities were close to total while the lesser ones had fewer members (and because they were overall smaller chapters, fewer members meant 35 girls when total was 55). At this school, sororities have 150+ members. How can you not find anyone you like in 150 members?

I know it's easy to say not to worry about what people think, but if my daughter hadn't worried so much about what mostly anonymous strangers online said about this sorority, she could have been happy for the past two years. I feel like it's better to join a lower-tier sorority than none at all. You can always quit.