Any Help I Can Pass On To My DD?

[JolieMama]

Hi All-
I am a new forum member after lurking for a bit. My daughter will be attending TCU in the fall and going through recruitment. Although I was an active sorority member and also served as GA of my chapter for years, I feel as though it was back in the Stone Age.
We are working on getting our recs lined up. Something that I have stressed is locating girls who are current members of TCU sororities who live in our community and finding out if she has any mutual friends/acquaintances who could make an introduction.
Any advice would be so so appreciated along with any insight into how well non Texas girls fare in recruitment.
My daughter has what I consider to be the basic requirements. High GPA, outgoing personality good community involvement, excellent extra curriculars with leadership positions and OK, not a requirement but she is also a lovely individual inside and out. Unfortunately, if no one knows you going in that may not be enough. Just trying to set expectations.
Thanks so so much!

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by JolieMama

... We are working on getting our recs lined up. Something that I have stressed is locating girls who are current members of TCU sororities who live in our community and finding out if she has any mutual friends/acquaintances who could make an introduction.

You aren't trying to get recs from active sorority members in TCU chapters, right? Most (but not all) sororities do not allow collegians to write recs. Among those organizations that do allow collegians to write recs, they are not generally allowed to do so on their own campus.

[JolieMama]

You are correct theta lady. The recs will come from various alumni and a few collegians from other chapters. However, I do think there is benefit in meeting current active members as long as it's through mutual friends.

[ComradesTrue]

Hi JolieMama,

TCU alumna here! While I 100% agree that having some personal connections is beneficial I don't know if I would force the issue of trying to make those introductions. First, once school is out for summer the current members are not permitted to make contact with any PNM so that could put them in an awkward situation. Second, it could be construed as forced at best and perhaps even desperate.

I am not sure what part of the country that you live in (please don't post that...) but I would just work to get the word out naturally. I know that my social media this time of year is full of girls and parents who proudly sport their college colors in announcing where they will be attending school next fall. I would suggest that both you and she post a photo alluding to TCU. TCU is a small, close knit group even among the alumni ranks. I know that in my little corner of the world new students are almost always connected with current students in the "hey do you know..." type of way once the word gets out.

Because over 50% of students come from out of state there will be ample PNMs who may not have personal connections, and those who do have connections certainly won't have them to the majority of the houses. You are wise to pursue recs at this stage of the game. I would STRONGLY suggest 2 per chapter, especially since she doesn't know anyone. The recs are all read and this can be a wonderful introduction of her to the chapter.

TCU has 12 amazing chapters and Phi Mu coming this fall, so if she keeps an open mind she won't go wrong. Cuts can be steep in the early rounds but the entire Greek community is close and welcoming. Best of luck to her!

[JolieMama]

Thanks so much Comrades. That's really good advice and I truly appreciate you taking the time to offer it. It is also incredibly accurate as I announced the "news" yesterday (even though we've known for a few weeks and immediately connections I never realized existed started popping up, including a close friend who is a good friend of a national president.
So this mama is going to take a deep breath and try to relax while continuing to get recs lined up. :-)
She's excited to go through the process and my counsel has been to do her best to not make snap judgements as thoughts and feelings can change throughout the week. Also, her experience won't be the same as others so try to not be swayed by others opinions. Lastly, there is no expectation on my part as far as my sorority goes. Chapters vary campus to campus and she needs to make her own decision.
Her main concern at this point is the heat and humidity. Valid I think given it's August in Texas!!! ;-)
Any other insights would be greatly appreciated. One question I have is do mothers actually stay in town until rush is completed? If there is a practical reason for this then I'm happy to do it but I also don't want to be a helicopter parent. I've read somewhere on GC that things come up and girls need ("need") certain clothing items , etc. and since they certainly don't have the time the mothers run errands, etc. Thoughts?

[stef831]

Originally Posted by JolieMama

Thanks so much Comrades. That's really good advice and I truly appreciate you taking the time to offer it. It is also incredibly accurate as I announced the "news" yesterday (even though we've known for a few weeks and immediately connections I never realized existed started popping up, including a close friend who is a good friend of a national president.
So this mama is going to take a deep breath and try to relax while continuing to get recs lined up. :-)
She's excited to go through the process and my counsel has been to do her best to not make snap judgements as thoughts and feelings can change throughout the week. Also, her experience won't be the same as others so try to not be swayed by others opinions. Lastly, there is no expectation on my part as far as my sorority goes. Chapters vary campus to campus and she needs to make her own decision.
Her main concern at this point is the heat and humidity. Valid I think given it's August in Texas!!! ;-)
Any other insights would be greatly appreciated. One question I have is do mothers actually stay in town until rush is completed? If there is a practical reason for this then I'm happy to do it but I also don't want to be a helicopter parent. I've read somewhere on GC that things come up and girls need ("need") certain clothing items , etc. and since they certainly don't have the time the mothers run errands, etc. Thoughts?

Hi there...not sure if this will be too helpful but my daughter attends a large SEC school and opted not to do formal recruitment but she had many friends that did, and their moms came in for the weekend to share in the experience and were there at BID day to share the joy and excitement with their daughters. IF you are able to go then I most definitely would- it is such a wonderful and happy accomplishment for them and to have their family there means everything. My daughter just went thru COB- and accepted bid to Kappa Alpha Theta but that process is far more relaxed. She is very happy and excited though and I am for her. As for clothing...depends on the round but some may have certain expectations. Give her all your love and support and believe me that will be the best gift you can give her. Best of luck and keep us posted.

[FSUZeta]

There are just a few schools that include parents in bid day festivities.most do not. Best to check what the custom is for TCU.

[stef831]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

There are just a few schools that include parents in bid day festivities.most do not. Best to check what the custom is for TCU.

True...guess I did not stop to think about that and that practices may be different at other schools.

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by JolieMama

Thanks so much Comrades. That's really good advice and I truly appreciate you taking the time to offer it. It is also incredibly accurate as I announced the "news" yesterday (even though we've known for a few weeks and immediately connections I never realized existed started popping up, including a close friend who is a good friend of a national president.
So this mama is going to take a deep breath and try to relax while continuing to get recs lined up. :-)
She's excited to go through the process and my counsel has been to do her best to not make snap judgements as thoughts and feelings can change throughout the week. Also, her experience won't be the same as others so try to not be swayed by others opinions. Lastly, there is no expectation on my part as far as my sorority goes. Chapters vary campus to campus and she needs to make her own decision.
Her main concern at this point is the heat and humidity. Valid I think given it's August in Texas!!! ;-)
Any other insights would be greatly appreciated. One question I have is do mothers actually stay in town until rush is completed? If there is a practical reason for this then I'm happy to do it but I also don't want to be a helicopter parent. I've read somewhere on GC that things come up and girls need ("need") certain clothing items , etc. and since they certainly don't have the time the mothers run errands, etc. Thoughts?

1. Oh that is a great concern!!! It will be hot- expect 99-105. Breathable fabrics are a must. Also coffee filters can do wonders for "shiny" faces without messing up make up.Girls also carry those small, portable fans.

2. Once upon a time there were no parents at bid day. Now you might see a small handful but I don't think it is encouraged. The girls will get their bids and then immediately run to their chapters on the quad. Soon after that they board busses to begin Bid Day festivities. The few moms that I have seen in photos are only on the quad for those initial photo ops. I am almost positive they are not along for the festivities. This would probably be a good question to ask during summer orientation. It may be that some moms stay in hotels during the week just to be there "in case." But don't expect to see her much- the days are quite long. As to whether to attend on the quad I would ask the Orientation Leaders or her Frog Camp counselors. They would know, as 50% of TCU is Greek.

3. You didn't ask, but Brown Bag makes adorable Bid Day gift baskets and TCU Florist makes beautiful arrangements. Both will deliver to campus.

4. it sounds like you are doing all the right things! Get those recs in May-June if possible. The earlier the better. Glad to hear that connections are starting to pop up.

Welcome to TCU! So happy to have you and your daughter in the TCU Family. Feel free to PM me if you need anything else. Go Frogs!

CT

[howdy96]

obviously this is just one girl's opinion- but as a girl who just went through recruitment at a large texas school, I would really encourage you to allow your daughter to handle the recruitment process on her own as much as possible. if she needs help, by all means be there for her! but I had no help from my parents in acquiring recs, picking outfits, etc. and I found the process to be much more rewarding since I had put all the work in myself. additionally, i noticed that my friends who had not made their own packets, found their own recs, etc. were much more overwhelmed by the process since they understood it less. my mother was huge moral support when I called her everyday, but I was confident because I had tackled it all independently, and i think it was key for me in my transition to independent college life. just food for thought.

[tinydancer]

I didn't read it that way at all.

[Jane2016]

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[ComradesTrue]

I completely forgot about this thread!

JolieMama, how did recruitment go for your daughter? Hopefully she is settled in and has enjoyed her first month in Texas.