A fizzy, tasty RECRUITMENT story

[peppermint23]

Though it's clear from my signature that I ended up in Sigma Delta Tau , I *love* reading recruitment stories and writing so I thought I'd share my own

I graduated from my school this year and I'm realizing how much I miss Greek life, though ironically my recruitment experience was well...not the best. I went through a roller-coaster of emotions, which made for some cringe-worthy memories but a pretty good story

Ah how naive I was back then...

So without further ado, here is my Recruitment story from Fall '09. I'll break it up a bit into different posts.

My school has 11 NPC sororities. And for the purpose of this story, you will know them as...

Dr. Pepper
Root Beer
Coca Cola
7Up
Cherry Sprite
Mountain Dew
Ginger Ale
Pepsi
Cream Soda
Orangina
Sierra Mist

I rushed in the fall as a sophomore, as I had transferred to my school in the middle of freshmen year. I did attend several informal rush events in the spring, but not all of the sororities were taking new members and I wanted to give all of them a shot. Now it's a *bit* harder to get a bid as a sophomore at my school, but not out of the ordinary at all.

Meeting my Rho Ghammas and rush group was lots of fun. My RGs were incredibly sweet, funny and frank about the process. They gave us helpful advice and one of them ended up being very important to this story...

I spent a lot of time alone prepping for recruitment. I read countless articles, scoured GreekChat for advice and tips, and went shopping, diligently picking out what I (hoped) would be cute, appropriate and memorable clothing.

During our Meet the Greeks session, I stayed the length of it even after most girls had left so I could chit-chat and spend extra time talking to sisters when it wasn't so crowded. I was pumped and ready to go. I already had some favorites in mind, I will admit, but I wanted to try and maintain an open mind.

Little did I know, that would become difficult...

[peppermint23]

Round One

I was SO excited for this round. The girls in my rush group all looked amazing, and I was a bit intimidated knowing that the first house we'd visit would be Cream Soda. They had GORGEOUS girls who were super fashionable, and the minute I stepped into their lovely house I felt like I was at a beauty pageant.

It was crowded so I had to share one sister with another PNM. I was a little annoyed about this, because it made the conversation more difficult. I wanted to make sure I made a good impression during the limited amount of time we had without interrupting or getting talked over.

I REALLY liked the first girl I spoke to, though the second girl not so much. I remember being a little stressed that the other PNM seemed to be carrying the conversation, but I told myself to just relax, be a good listener and stop worrying so much

Next up was Sierra Mist. I REALLY liked this house and felt a connection with both sisters I spoke to. We discussed career goals, majors and everything flowed very naturally in the conversations I had. We also got to sit at tables they'd set up so it was a nice change of pace from the awkward PNM on the seat/sister on the floor set-up. Sitting face to face helped with hearing the girls and feeling like we were "equals" in the conversation. I had a great time and didn't want to leave, though my feet were already starting to kill.

I also enjoyed my time at Dr. Pepper. I got bumped quite a few times, which made me feel a little unsettled, as I was having a great conversation (or so I thought) and then BAM! another girl would sit down in my rusher's place. Otherwise I felt like these girls were very chill, friendly and down-to-earth. I hoped to be invited back. They were one of my favorites during this round for sure.

Root Beer was not a good experience, though this wasn't the fault of my rushers. It was SO FREAKING LOUD in there I thought I was going to go deaf. I could barely hear the sisters and at one point we had to move to a different part of the house so we could hear each other better. I remember the conversations feeling stilted, awkward and forced, but I chalked this up to the acoustics. Sadly, I don't think I was able to leave much of a good impression as I spent most of my time asking the poor sisters to repeat themselves.

Oh wow, I remember my experience at Mountain Dew being uncomfortable. The one sister I spoke to was very awkward with me, and I had the feeling she wasn't putting in much effort. She could have been shy or nervous, though, it was hard to tell. I spoke to her during the entire party, and I remember trying my best to converse but also secretly wishing she'd get bumped so I could get to know another sister. I had several friends in this chapter that I loved and got along with great, so this round was a bit of a letdown. During their short skit/song I did watch one of the girls lean into one of her sisters, who lovingly started braiding her hair. It was so cute and sweet and I could tell these girls had a wonderful sisterhood.

Speaking of wonderful sisterhoods, I was absolutely BLOWN AWAY by the energy at Ginger Ale. These girls were loud (in a good way), proud, chatty, diverse and infectiously energetic. As they performed their very creative, very cute song about their sisterhood, I got tears in my eyes realizing that I could very soon be in a sisterhood myself (and maybe theirs!) The sincerity and love I felt they resonated confirmed my desire to join a sorority, and I left that party with a huge smile on my face.

It's interesting looking back now, because I barely remember the conversations I had with the sisters of Ginger Ale. Though their recruitment chair recognized me from Meet the Greeks and said "It's so good to see you again!", I recall the girls being more interested in talking to each other than me. They complimented my skirt, which was very sweet, but I don't remember much else other than it being a bit chaotic in there. Still, I ended up convinced I was in love with them! Energy goes a long way in recruitment, I've learned, and can meddle with memories of certain chapters a bit.

Speaking of strong personalities, the sister that rushed me at Pepsi was IN LOVE with her sorority, and she wanted me to know it. She couldn't stop telling me about the new membership process, the events they had, everything. Her bubbly enthusiasm was adorable, but it also made me feel a little uncomfortable, as when I couldn't return it as vigorously in response, she seemed to get a little turned off. I definitely showed interest and was responsive, but the conversation mostly revolved around...how great Pepsi was. I do remember their skit being the most creative and endearing of round one, and I realized that this sorority probably had a lot of very creative, artsy girls like myself. During it my rusher kept turning to me and smiling big, as if to make sure I liked it. I smiled back each time, feeling...on the spot. Despite the slightly intimidating I experience I had with the one sister who rushed me, I left feeling good about this chapter, if not a little freaked out

Then there was Cherry Sprite. I enjoyed my conversations with the sisters I spoke to, though they felt a little empty and vacant. I was wearing an attention-grabbing piece of jewelry (thanks GreekChat!) that one girl complimented, which led to us discussing fashion. That's all we really talked about...oh and one sister asked me whether or not I had a boyfriend. I got a little uncomfortable then - as we had been warned NOT to discuss the 3 Bs - and the way she asked it made me nervous, like she was testing me or something ( I was so naive and paranoid haha). During their skit/song, I felt a little awkward as the sister who took me over to watch it kept calling out to her sisters and making comments. Compared to my experience with a more attentive Pepsi rusher, I worried if this meant anything.

I remember really liking 7Up. Though I was bumped around between about 3 sisters, including the President, I had a good conversation with all of the girls and even shared a favorite TV show with one, which made the conversation a lot easier.

I had a nice, fairly neutral time at Orangina. I spoke to two sisters, and the one I clicked with most was who I remember discussing study abroad with (I wanted to go to Australia - which I ended up doing!) She was very sweet and the little skit/song they performed was cute. I left satisfied but not blown away...at least not yet.

The final house of round one was Coca Cola. By this time, I was wiped out. As I walked in, I noticed the decorations were sparse, especially compared to the ornate, intricate, creative ones of all the other houses. I also noticed how quiet it was in there. The sister I spoke to was very, very awkward. We had LONG conversation pauses, a lot of looking around the room, and I just wasn't feeling it. She was a very nice girl though. I was so overwhelmed and tired at that point, so it was a good way to end the day I guess.

After all of the that we were herded into a room with our Rho Ghamma groups to rank. We had to "cut" our lowest picks.

It was a little difficult, but in the end I decided to "cut" (or so I thought, as I didn't really get the process yet) Coca Cola and Mountain Dew.



So by the end of the first round, I was tired but having so much fun. I thought things were going so well, and I was pumped for the next round...

[peppermint23]

ROUND TWO - Philanthropy Round

During this round, we could get invited back to a maximum of 9 houses. I was nervous, but excited to get my schedule. It read:

Cherry Sprite
Sierra Mist
Coca Cola
Orangina
Cream Soda
7Up

My heart sank. I had been cut by a few favorites, and I remember it affecting my self-esteem. I wondered what I did wrong and why the girls didn't like me, but tried to remind myself that this was part of the process and it was possible a lot of houses were mainly taking freshmen, which my Rho Gamma later confirmed. And I also knew that I had a list of great chapters in front of me. Still, it was sad to know that I'd never be a Dr. Pepper or Ginger Ale. Oh well.

I was surprised to see Coca Cola on the list, as I thought I had "cut" them (my Rho Gamma explained it to me haha), but decided to give them another shot.

I was also a little surprised to see Cream Soda, as I thought I hadn't made as good of an impression, but excited nonetheless as I realized this could be my chance to really get to know them.

As our group was getting ready to go, one of the PNMs started complaining vehemently that she'd been cut from some of her favorites. I asked her how many she'd gotten invited back to, and she responded quickly, "9", as if a full schedule were no big deal, and continued whining. I was irritated, as the poor girl behind me was upset she'd only been invited back to 4. I considered myself lucky to have a schedule of 6, and on we went!

My second experience at Cherry Sprite was...a little unnerving. I was very excited to return to this house, but one of sisters I spoke with had a bit of "bite" to her, or maybe that's how I interpreted it. Basically I said something she disagreed with (some minor thing about living in a single room) and she got snarky with me and didn't smile. The sisters weren't as easy-going or friendly as the other girls I'd spoken with during the first round, and I wondered if I would ever feel fully comfortable here. I left with a bad taste in my mouth, though I was still open to them.

Unfortunately things weren't much better at the Sierra Mist house. I had loved this house during the first round and had a wonderful experience, but this time ended with a bit of a "splash", as you'll soon read. I spoke with several sisters who didn't seem all that interested in me. For their philanthropy project I had to draw something, and they complimented me on it, but our conversations weren't as pleasant as the last round. I just felt like they didn't like me or warm up to me quickly, which made me sad because I was giving it my all and was happy to be back. And then I did something "bad"...I had set my drink down next to my foot as there wasn't anywhere else to sit it, and during a conversation with one sister I accidentally kicked it over. The water went INTO MY HIGH HEEL (thank God it was only water...I think, I may have repressed this haha), creating a nice little swimming pool for my foot. I didn't say anything until the last minute, and the sister bluntly told me to "dump it out"..."On the carpet?!" I asked, shocked. "I can take it outside! I don't want to get your carpet wet!"..."No," she said, looking really annoyed. "Just dump it. It's fine." So I did...and I left feeling mortified.

Things got better when I returned to Cream Soda. I was wearing my favorite dress that just happened to match the sorority's colors, which I took to be a "good sign"...or something. My rusher and I had a great conversation, then took me into another room to watch a video on their philanthropy. It was so touching, so emotional that I started to cry a little. I turned to my rusher and said, "That's so sad and amazing" and she agreed with me. Soon she was joined by another sister, and I remember they were CRACKING UP as I was talking, me being my normal goofy, sarcastic self. They were laughing and talking with me, and it felt so good, I felt so at ease. FINALLY, after all of these canned conversations. I felt such a strong connection to this chapter, the work they did, and how the sisters all had such bold personalities like myself. I was in love.

But me and my awkward moments resumed when I went to Orangina. I talked to two sisters, one of which had a very bubbly, happy-go-lucky personality. She asked me what kind of music I liked to listen to and as I was listing musicians I blurted out one of my favorite rappers was Amanda Blank, an "X-rated rapper" (that just popped in my head because someone called her that in a music review). She's not a porn rapper or anything, she just has vulgar lyrics. I don't know why I said it. I think at that point I was getting tired of "faking it" a little and I wanted to try and be myself. I was starving for more real conversation, like the kind I'd had in Cream Soda. It was a mistake though, as the girl looked at me in shock and got so uncomfortable. "An X-rated rapper?" she asked. I nodded stupidly, and she was like "Oh...okay...well anyway." Sorry, Orangina sister! I should have probably said "Taylor Swift" or someone equally innocuous. But then again, I just being myself. Oops.

I entered Coca Cola ready to start anew. I had a nice conversation with two sisters, but it was a little awkward. At the same time, it was a nice change of pace in this house. The girls were relaxed, themselves and chill, though I had to steer the conversation quite a few times. I hate to say it but I felt kind of bored with the conversation we were having, though I was trying to stay involved. I was double-rushed by two sisters and they seemed to like me. I didn't know if I really fit in at this house, and compared to the high-energy levels of the other chapters, it left me wanting more. But overall I had an okay time.

Finally was 7Up. I was exhausted and I remember feeling like I had to try hard to keep the attention of the girls rushing me. I really liked them and their easy-going, fun personalities, but I kept getting bumped around and it was disheartening. Still, I could really see myself fitting in there.

Then we had to rank again. This was always my least favorite part, as it was when the tent talk really set in. At my school we all sat next to each other as we filled out our rankings, so girls could discuss chapters with each other. I heard a lot of negative talk about Coca Cola, how their decorations (and chapter!) weren't impressive and it was the consensus that they were the "least favorite". It made me confused and uncomfortable.

I was trying to go with my gut but also swayed by the tent talk going on around me. I had told myself from the start I wouldn't do this, but the process was started to drain me.

So I ranked Coca Cola and Orangina low (I think). It's possible I could only rank one low because I had 6/9.

To be continued...(don't worry, I have the rest written out)

[FSUZeta]

Oh my at the water in your shoe and the girl telling you to dump it out.

[honeychile]

^Yes, that did seem a little odd...

Keep posting! We're reading!

[WCsweet<3]

I know it's not a favorite, but I'm rooting for Coke.

[peppermint23]

Round Three - Sisterhood Round

I was anxious for round three, and to top it off I was sick. The long hours, lack of sleep and stress of recruitment (not to mention all the hands I shook!) had caused me to come down with a bad cold. I was sniffly and feverish, but I popped some pain medicine, packed some tissues in my purse, put on a nice dress and went over to meet my rush group. I'd tough it out, I decided.

Despite my slip-ups the day before, I thought I'd made a decent impression and had clicked with enough girls in each chapter.

We could have a total of 6 houses in this round, and it was going to be a very long day for many PNMs.

Then I got my slip. It read:









Cream Soda
Coca Cola

Now if you haven't been able to tell from my previous chapters, I can be an anxious person. I am sensitive. I worry a lot, I over-think things, and though I love being social, I have some social anxiety.

This just killed me. I had two chapters left, and if they didn't want me, I was done. It would all be over. I'd been cut so heavily so fast, why wouldn't I be cut completely? I panicked.

I went over to my Rho Gamma, about to burst into tears, and told her my situation. I had really come to love Cream Soda, but I knew they were considered a competitive house and I was worried they wouldn't want me. But if they didn't want me, Coca Cola might want me.

But as I explained to her - upset, hurt, and confused - I didn't know if I fit in at Coca Cola. They were never my first choice, and I felt like I would probably end up there as it looked, which kind of made me feel trapped at the time, like this supposed "mutual selection" process hadn't been so mutual after all. This was coupled with the fact that I'd spent so much time researching, shopping, and prepping for recruitment and now after all of that it felt like 9 out of 11 chapters had decided I wasn't good enough to be their sister.

I was devastated, but my Rho Gamma assured me that I just had to put my best foot forward and show Cream Soda that I really liked them.

It was painful passing by other rush groups in between my parties, knowing most of them had very busy, fun day ahead of them. I heard them chatting about all of the houses they had to choose from, discussing the yummy snacks they'd eaten at various houses I'd been cut from and really liked, etc. It stung, but I held my held high and walked into Cream Soda.

When I walked in, I realized in horror that I'd forgotten to put on some make-up. I looked pretty much the same as I always did - I looked like me - but all of the Cream Soda girls were always so done-up and beautiful that I felt like a gross, sick mess in comparison. Still, I was wearing my favorite Free People dress and I probably looked just fine.

I was paired with a sister that I had trouble connecting with. I was still in shock from being cut (and a little delirious from being sick), so when she commented, "Busy day today, huh?" I made the mistake I regret to this day, replying with "Oh, well I only have two parties."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Two?" she repeated. I could tell I messed up. I worried she was judging me. To break the ice a little, I picked up a scrapbook nearby (it was absolutely adorable) and looked through it with her. She relaxed after that, happy to recall fun times she had with her sisters. She told me a funny story about a new member retreat, and remembering what my Rho Gamma had told me, I used the opportunity to ask more about the new member program. She lit up and recalled fond memories of new member sleepovers and candle passes where everyone would open up and share whatever was on their mind with no judgment. I was sucked in. The scrapbook was amazing and her stories made me tear up. Having transferred in second semester freshman year to a cold, mostly lonely first semester, I realized this was exactly what I needed. Family. A home away from home.

A sister came by offering refreshments and I asked politely for a tissue, which I was handed. I apologized to my rusher that I was sick and discreetly blew my nose, but felt uncomfortable, like I was grossing her out or something.

A little while after my rusher walked away. I was sitting there by myself for a moment as the sister spoke to her recruitment chair. I felt really awkward, but I spotted a familiar face: my rusher from round two who I'd had a great conversation with. She was taking a pause too (I forget why, it was weird), and asked me who was rushing me. I pointed to her sister who'd gotten up and she nodded.

Then the girl sat back down and everything resumed as normal. I realized another sister in the room was wearing the same dress as me, and excitedly I pointed this out. She responded flatly with, "Oh, it's no big deal", and I felt confused. I hadn't meant it in a negative way. Soon she was joined by another sister, and the three of us had a casual, good talk, and eventually the first girl left. The remaining sister and I had a nice - if somewhat forced - final conversation. Then the party came to an end.

Next up was Coca Cola. I was paired with a sister from the day before, and we had an okay conversation. I admit I don't remember much about them from this round, I was so focused on what I had potentially done wrong in Cream Soda. It's safe to say it went more or less as it had during the previous rounds. I did get to talk to a new girl who I really liked and who was a wonderful conversationalist. Well...she liked to talk.

Then I went back to my room to sleep and recover. I called my mom, sobbed to her really, and let out all of the emotions I'd been holding in throughout the process. I told her my fears, my worries, and how badly I wanted to be a Cream Soda. She promised to send me good thoughts and to stick it out, and reassured me the cuts weren't personal. She knew after all, she is also a sorority lady

And then there was pref night...

[adpimiz]

I'm very sorry to hear about your disappointment. I hope you get the outcome you're hoping for! Keep posting!

[peppermint23]

Pref Round

The day of preference round - ours was a very special "pref night" - my mom called me to ask how I was doing. She knew I was still anxious and worried about the whole process.

She also told me that she'd taken a look at the websites of Coca Cola and Cream Soda and was a little surprised I wanted to be a Cream Soda.

"They seem to party and drink a lot," she commented. "It seems to be their focus."

"I don't care about that, I like to have fun too," I responded.

"I know that, but it doesn't seem like you. I looked at Coca Cola's website and from the photos they posted, they seem like a great group of girls who genuinely love each other. It just seems more real, more like you."

I agreed with her, though I defended Cream Soda of course as I thought they loved each other too and it was hard to judge from photos online.

For pref I dolled myself up. I was feeling a little better. I put on make-up, did my hair and wore my best black dress and heels. I thought I looked great and felt confident.

I was shaking so badly waiting for my pref invites. Luckily I hadn't gotten the dreaded call that day, so I knew I wasn't cut yet. Finally I was handed my slip, which read:




Coca Cola

I was very, very sad that Cream Soda had cut me. I had worked myself up into this fantasy of being their sister, and I was also disappointed that I could only attend one preference ceremony and wouldn't end up with a "choice" (or so I thought ) like other PNMs.

I called my mom and cried to her a little. She told me to go enjoy my last party, but the sounds of excited PNMs in my group was breaking my heart. In that moment, I felt like a reject.

I went to my Rho Gamma, the one I trusted the most. She said she'd walk me to the Coca Cola house as I was the only girl in our rush group who had them as the first party of the night. On the way I expressed my disappointment and deep sadness about the process and getting cut from chapters I wanted so much. She assured me it wasn't my fault, told me to enjoy the party at Coca Cola and report back to her afterwards so we could discuss how I felt before I made my final decision. She was, simply put, amazing.

And now for the Coca Cola preference party...

I was paired with a girl named Rachel, who I'd spoken to various times before. The desserts the girls served were FABULOUS, and the sister serving them was a friend of mine that I knew was in this chapter. She spotted me and winked.

This was nothing like the previous recruitment nights. Without the other bubbly, peppy chapters to "outshine" them, the girls of Coca Cola seemed much more relaxed and at ease. At the time they were the smallest chapter on campus (making recruitment extra hard on them), which was a bit of a turn-off for me in the beginning, but I realized that it was actually a plus as I could really stand out and be someone in this chapter, and the girls were clearly very close.

I asked for a tissue and apologized to Rachel for potentially grossing her out, but she shrugged and laughed and said, "Don't worry about it!" It was night and day compared to the reception I'd had at Cream Soda. I decided to put my sadness aside and start to get excited about Coca Cola, and I did!

I asked Rachel all about her sisterhood and the fun events they put on, and the more she told me, the more excited I got. This is it, I thought. I'm about to join a SISTERHOOD.

Then there was the ceremony. For those of you in sororities, you know, this is when it all gets real. This is the perhaps the most honest, beautiful part of recruitment.

I stood next to Rachel and witnessed the insanely gorgeous, very special ceremony. In part of it (without giving anything away ), the sisters essentially tell you that you are what's missing in their chapter. This made me cry.

A few sisters read stories about their relationship with Coca Cola and what it meant for them. My friend who had served me dessert sobbed as she read her story about her and her relationship with her Little. I was touched by all of it.

Though I left a bit shaken. I'd had a great time, but still was feeling the cuts, being the sensitive person I am. I found my Rho Gamma and told her how I felt. She smiled and told me it was up to me, but advised me to give it a shot. "I think you'll like it," she said knowingly.

So that night I finally "ranked" Coca Cola....

Bid Night

I already knew where I was going for bid night, so unlike most of the PNMs, I didn't have a reason to be nervous. Still, the wait was exciting as we all stood around in the student union waiting to be let into the assembly room where we'd learn our fate. I talked to girls in my rush group and tried to comfort them a little. They were TERRIFIED.

At my school the sororities stand outside the student union with their "standards" (big wooden letters) awaiting their new members, chatting, chanting and clapping. It's very, very fun, even in the freezing cold during the informal rush bid night.

We all filed into the auditorium and sat with our rush groups, facing the stage. After a brief speech from the Panhel President it was time to open our bid cards. ONE...TWO...THREE! I opened mine, and saw...







Sigma Delta Tau

Naturally

I was like "Yay cool!" while all around me girls were SCREAMING their lungs out or sobbing because they were upset or disappointed. This was when our Rho Gammas did the big reveal of what sororities they were in. My favorite RG turned out to be a member of Pepsi, and I was a little sad we wouldn't get to be sisters. But when the lone Sig Delt RG flashed her letters, I went to join her and my new sisters.

And we had the biggest pledge class ever for my chapter: 18 girls! After taking a group photo, we ran outside to meet our new sisters.

I can't fully explain the rush and joy of running outside and being welcomed into screaming, cheering, excited arms, though I'm sure many of you know.

That first night was part awkward as our pledge class didn't know each other yet, and part wonderful being so warmly welcomed. The girls were SO HAPPY at how many new members they had, and a girl from recruitment hugged me and said she was so happy I joined. Another girl told me she had been hoping I'd get a bid. I realized then I'd never had to fake it with these girls, they'd always accepted me for me, and it had always been the most relaxing, easy place to be during recruitment.

As it turns out, my friend who winked at me and talked about her Little during pref turned out to be my Big Sister! I was to be Little #2.

I'm actually tearing up right now as I write this, remembering my final preference ceremony with my Sigma Delta Tau sisters last fall. I was an emotional wreck during that pref, but held it together as best as I could for the PNMs. My sister next to me noticed me crying silently and hugged me to her, and I knew I'd been home all along.

Thanks for reading my recruitment story. Yes, it had its ups and downs, just like my time in my chapter. Like my 3 1/2 years with SDT, it was at times painful and emotional, but ultimately joyful and worth everything in the end. I learned so much about myself during that process and though I regret a few things I did, I have to remind myself that I was only 19 and I was well, only being myself.

[FSUZeta]

i loved your story. Thanks for sharing with us.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Aw, I teared up a little, too. Thanks for sharing your story.

[adpimiz]

I liked your story a lot! Thanks for sharing and congratulations on your time with SDT!

[peppermint23]

Thanks guys, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I hope any PNM who reads this takes it as an example that sometimes things can go seem to be going all wrong, but there's always a silver lining.

[AZTheta]

Wonderful, sweet story; hope you enjoy a lifetime of membership in SDT.