Dating your frat or soror's ex

kaidi06 · #1 05-24-2000, 04:04 PM

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mgdzkm433 · #2 05-24-2000, 04:22 PM

I've never heard of such rules.

33girl · #3 05-24-2000, 04:46 PM

Man, if that was true, everyone in our chapter would have gotten kicked out! Especially when you use the old 6 degrees of separation rule!

12dn94dst · #4 05-24-2000, 04:53 PM

i've not heard of this "rule" either. If she's a Soror that I know personally and I know there were dating, then her ex is off limits. If I know the Soror, know she's dating someone but I don't know who he is until after they break up, then he may be off limits. If I meet a man and it just so happens that his ex is a Soror, that does not mean that I'm going to stop dating him.

Siobhan · #5 05-24-2000, 09:24 PM

We don't really have that rule in our chapter but it is something to keep in mind. For example my boyfriend and I have been going out for 2 years and it would be very uncomfortable if we broke up and he started dating one of my sisters or if I started dating one of his brothers. In our sorority we simply say, you wouldn't wear someone else's dirty laundry, would you?

[This message has been edited by Siobhan (edited June 27, 2000).]

dstbrat · #6 05-25-2000, 02:33 PM

i really think this cultural. we generally don't think it is cool to go behind one another like that. especially if the guy was a for real boyfriend. it is just too messy. i have seen this kind of stuff tear chapters up, so, it is not encouraged.

PIKES · #7 05-25-2000, 04:46 PM

It was an unwritten rule in our house. Respect what once was..and respect your fellow brothers/sisters. Unless given the O.K. to do so...we didn't date each other's ex's. Now that's a sign of a close house

ElleDelta3 · #8 05-26-2000, 01:01 PM

Pretty much in our chapter if you date the same guy that one of your sisters has dated, it is a big no-no. Of course it has been done, it just causes alot of scandal and hurt feelings. I would not recommend it, as the wrath of an angry sorority sister is not pretty!!!

#9 05-26-2000, 01:06 PM

I have dated seven girls in the same house. Do not subject yourself to the same hell that I have created for myself. After some beer and a sweaty house party, it always seems like the most brilliant, morally correct thing in the history of the world, but let me assure you...it's not. At least, that's what I've been told by the other sister in that house. "NO MORE WHORE!"

#10 06-27-2000, 03:01 AM

In my sorority, this is frowned upon in a major way. It isn't a by-law or anything but the attitude we have is that you wouldn't date a man that has dated your blood sister, right? (well many people would not). It's viewed as a form of disrespect. In addition, if you have 5 sisters who've all been with the same guy, it isn't exactly going to help your sorority maintain a good reputation.

#11 06-27-2000, 03:20 PM

There is no rule and there shouldnt be one anyway. You don't need those kinds of rules to dictate how you treat your family. I would never date my sisters ex-guy, so in turn I would never knowingly do it to any one of my sorors. (We are worldwide.Cant always be sure if the guy was with a soror overseas=)

SkeeBunny · #12 06-27-2000, 04:47 PM

Wait, now I have a question. Are you guys saying that you wouldn't date an ex of a Soror you know (which I agree with 100%) or are you saying that you wouldn't date a guy just because he dated someone who is a member of your sorority? I mean, if the guy just got out of a long term relationship with a Soror that you don't even know, are you saying that he too is off limits?

#13 06-27-2000, 06:06 PM

My mistake. I was trying to be funny. My answer is no I wouldnt date the ex of a soror I knew. And hell no as far as line sisters are concerned.

#14 06-27-2000, 06:17 PM

kaidi06: to answer your question, I would say that IN GENERAL , if you date a man that one of your sorority sisters dated, you are asking for trouble.

However, there are also situations where it might be okay. For example: if your soror has moved on to a different guy & he's the love of her life & they're engaged, then it might be okay. This is a really tough situation to judge without knowing the context.

But I stand by my words that generally speaking, "it's asking for trouble".

AlphaChiGirl · #15 06-29-2000, 01:29 AM

"There is no rule and there shouldnt be one anyway."
--There doesn't need to be one because something like this is just common decency and respect! I know of a sorority in which one girl slept with (casually) a guy one of her sisters had a crush on, which is the same guy one of the pledges had dated at the beginning of the year (and still loved)...is this dirty or what? So, she hurt two of her sisters, making a really uncomfortable situation for the entire chapter. It should just be an unspoken, but understood, rule...just a matter of respect, not only for your sisters, but for yourself.