Bridesmaids- Who pays for hair?

[ADPi95]

Originally Posted by groovypq

I was in a wedding once where the bride wanted us all to have up-dos. Fortunately, she paid a hairstylist (or it was a friend, I forget. Either way, I didn't have to pay). My hair is long and UBER thick. I was in the chair forever - and I ended up looking like Marge Simpson. A simple French twist would have been way better.

When I got married, I just told my MOHs to do whatever they wanted with their hair. They both have different styles. My sister and mom both wanted appointments so I did make them for them since they were out of towners, but they paid for their own hair.

I just don't think the clone thing is necessary. I didn't have the MOHs have matching shoes, either. I just told them silver, preferably strappy. And they both looked lovely. :-)

You're right! It shouldn't be. I had my two bridesmaids wear whatever dress they wanted as long as it was black. They both had polar opposite body types (short/tall, stocky/thin). If I had them look like clones, they'd have come off as clowns.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by groovypq

I just don't think the clone thing is necessary.

Bingo! This is really the problem - it's seen as "normal" to have every bridesmaid looking exactly the same. But of course, everyone is different. This applies to both body shape and hair. People need to be more realistic about what would look good vs. having their bridesmaids all wear exactly the same thing and style their hair in the same way.

[groovypq]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Bingo! This is really the problem - it's seen as "normal" to have every bridesmaid looking exactly the same. But of course, everyone is different. This applies to both body shape and hair. People need to be more realistic about what would look good vs. having their bridesmaids all wear exactly the same thing and style their hair in the same way.

To be fair, I have seen weddings with "clone" bridesmaids that did look lovely, but they were also all very similar in build, coloring, etc.

Also, I love the trend I've seen of the same dress - usually in black - with different colored shoes/bouquets. It's usually very vivid colors and they really pop!

oops, I'm hijacking. :-)

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by groovypq

To be fair, I have seen weddings with "clone" bridesmaids that did look lovely, but they were also all very similar in build, coloring, etc.

I'm not saying that you can't have "clones" (or that it can't look good), but the very definition of clone means that you'd have a duplicate or replica of an original. If all of your bridesmaids have the same build and hair, then it wouldn't be crazy to have them all wearing the same thing, and therefore, be "clone-like."

If, however, they're all different heights, different sizes, and have different styles/lengths of hair (like in Low C's post, for example), it would seem reasonable to consider how ALL of the bridesmaids would look in what you pick out, and possibly consider mixing things up to make everyone look good.

Also, I love the trend I've seen of the same dress - usually in black - with different colored shoes/bouquets. It's usually very vivid colors and they really pop!

oops, I'm hijacking. :-)

I like this, as well. I've also seen the bridesmaids dresses in white or off-white, as opposed to black. I think it looks sharp.

One of my sorority sisters actually had all of her bridesmaids in yellow, and they each had a different colored bouquet. It looked awesome. I'll see if I can track down a picture...

[ASTalumna06]

Found it! Love this pic and the color combo! My 4 sisters in the middle

Plus, you'll notice my sister to the right of the bride has on a different dress than the rest of them... because she was pregnant at the time. The dress that the other girls were wearing would not have worked, so the bride was smart enough to change things slightly.

[KSUViolet06]

Full disclosure: I think brides should be paying for hair/manicures.

However, I am aware that everyone's budget does not allow for that.

I think that a lot of these sorts of discussions come down to knowing your party and what they can/can't afford and making sure that if you ask them to pay, you select a salon that fits into their collective spending range.

For example, many of the brides I work with are in their 30s. They're more established in their careers. So are the members of their bridal parties. Therefore, it's not a big deal for them to have hair services set up at the $200 updo salon.

If you're say, 23, and your bridal party members are all still in college, you need to either set up services at a salon that they can afford, or allow them to get their hair done wherever they would like.

This is also the same for dresses. If you're asking them to pay for that, you need to consider what they can afford.

If you're in your 30s, and your maids are all settled into their careers, Marchesa evening gowns are no big deal. However, if your maids are all under 22 and in school, you need to be looking at styles/designers that they can afford OR providing fabric/color/style guidelines and letting them choose their own.

[lovespink88]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

To be fair, $100 for an updo sounds like a lot, but for a metro region like Boston/NYC/Los Angeles/San Fran, things just cost more. I agree that it is ridiculous, but that's the reality.

Chicagoan here, and I'm on board with those who think that $100 is a bit high. My hair along with my bridesmaids was $65 per person. My mom's salon in the burbs, which goes after a slightly upscale customer, charges $65 for regular up-do. (She bought it after my wedding, if anyone was wondering why I didn't just get it done there lol) Don't get me wrong, there are places that EASILY charge $100, but there's lots of other options at nice salons.

I think there's a billion variables that play into it, many which have already been mentioned in this thread.

I personally did not pay for my bridesmaids, but I think I was being pretty reasonable:

1) I had a stylist and make up artist come to my house and gave my maids the option to get their hair & make up done at my house. If they were loyal to a particular salon or hair stylist, I totally get that and it was fine by me. (One maid did her hair and make up on her own and looked great!) I made sure to give them a few months notice with the prices so they could budget/decide if they wanted to do it or not.

2) They were allowed to wear whatever hairstyle/make up they wanted.

3) I let my bridesmaids wear whatever shoes and jewelry they wanted, as long as the shoes were silver and as long as the jewelry was silver/white gold or silver colored. None of my bridesmaids went out and bought jewelry for the event and I think only 1 went out to buy new shoes, only because she's a shoe addict and was going to buy herself new shoes no matter what lol

4) Only one had to travel from out of town, so for the most part everyone had low transportation costs. The one who did fly in didn't have to pay for a hotel since her parents still live here.

5) Alterations for their dresses were taken care of.

6) We supplied a little continental breakfast/brunch with bagels, muffins, mini sandwiches, fruit and mimosas for everyone.

I think if you have trade offs, it's reasonable to ask them to pay for their hair. If they've already been shelling out lots, it would be really nice to cover them.

[bluefish81]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I think that a lot of these sorts of discussions come down to knowing your party and what they can/can't afford and making sure that if you ask them to pay, you select a salon that fits into their collective spending range.

I think this statement gets to the heart of the matter. When I picked out bridesmaid dresses - I had a pricepoint in mind, because what are the odds they will wear the dress again? Slim to none. As for shoes, I asked that they match their dress in one of three different colors. I'm going to cover the cost of getting their hair done. Fortunately for me, it's not $100/person - yay for Omaha! I'm not covering manicures/pedicures - but I'm also making that an optional thing on Friday afternoon thing - so that if they don't want to come, it's not a big deal.