How NOT to be dismissed...

[nittanyalum]

I had a strange sense of deja vu about this thread... http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=86211

And clothing-wise, you've seen the guys at PSU, jeans, khakis, sweaters, polos, sweatshirts, they're all acceptable. My brother was greek in an ivy league and they dressed just like our guys did. Nice jeans or khakis and a button down shirt or polo will work anywhere, anytime.

[als463]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

I had a strange sense of deja vu about this thread... http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=86211

And clothing-wise, you've seen the guys at PSU, jeans, khakis, sweaters, polos, sweatshirts, they're all acceptable. My brother was greek in an ivy league and they dressed just like our guys did. Nice jeans or khakis and a button down shirt or polo will work anywhere, anytime.

Yeah-that was me...Initially I was asking what people would think about him rushing (age wise and stuff)...now, I just want to know (after reading PhiGam's "Biggest Rush Mistakes" thread) what should and should not be worn or said. As a woman-I could talk your ear off for days if you ask me--but, he's not like that. If any of my cousins wanted to go through sorority recruitment, I could give advice...this, however-I'm LOST!!!

I think it was VioletPretty who showed me the difference between both the polos....I honestly never would have thought stripes or anything would have been bad but, now that everyone is saying to stick to solids-we'll make sure he does that.

When you say Khakis-do you mean they can have pockets on the sides (like cargos)? Excuse me everyone for being a bit confused...I can help him look for shirts but, with pants/ shorts-I"m clueless. All these responses are great and I look forward to ANY advice about the entire process.

[EE-BO]

I appreciate your attention to detail, but the degree of detail concerns me in this case. Stripes versus solids and style of khaki pants is splitting hairs that would even be going overboard for a school like Georgia where wardrobe is ridiculously important. Granted, certain stripes and certain cargo pants would be very bad, but this is again something that should be readily known to him and to you instinctively.

It helps to a certain extent to figure out what is expected before rush, but while I think you have good intentions- I do think you are getting too detailed out of a desire to do right.

Overall your best bet is to play it safe and then let him see how he does. How do you play it safe?,

1. Polo = Ralph Lauren. Go with Ralph Lauren across the board. Nationwide, it is the safest bet.

2. Go with basic colors- nothing flashy. Look at this guy, figure out what solid colors look good on him, and just get that.

3. Classic tailoring. For shorts, get mid-length with straight lines or pleats and avoid casual looks with excess pockets etc. Go for what you would want your husband to wear to a country club luncheon.

I think if you stick with these 3 basic ideas, you can deal with wardrobe very quickly and not make this guy stress out over what he is wearing.

Remember this, you cannot teach someone overnight to "dress like a fraternity guy". All you can do is help him pick out stuff that makes him look nice- and then let the fraternities decide if he is worthy. Who he is will be the final deciding factor, and whether he dresses true to his personality/outlook will come through no matter how nice a package you create with his clothes.

[violetpretty]

The stripes vs. solid isn't as big of a deal. What those examples pointed out was the big "HOLLISTER" and logo sewn with the "vintage distressed" raw edges versus a small embroidered logo. The former are trendy and wouldn't fly at Southern, traditional campuses (though they may be fine in the Big 10 or Ivy League). Do you see the difference between trendy and classic?

You can't go wrong at any school with a solid color classic polo and khaki dress pants. That doesn't mean that the dress code won't be more liberal and relaxed elsewhere, it was just sort of an "if in doubt..." suggestion.

[Elephant Walk]

Also, dress so he doesn't look awkward. I guess it's hard to explain but yesterday I was in class and there was a spring Phi Delt pledge behind me. He was wearing a RL polo with a RL polo hat. He wore it like he bought it because he pledged Phi Delt and had to fit in.

[nate2512]

Originally Posted by magichat

Thats not entirely true, it depends on where in the north. Areas near the water tend to be perfectly fine for boat shoes.

hmm...thanks for the enlightening, its just most of the time when we get into to boat shoes, the northerns don't seem to wear them.

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by nate2512

hmm...thanks for the enlightening, its just most of the time when we get into to boat shoes, the northerns don't seem to wear them.

LOL, I would rather see GLOs dress better than beer shirts, cut off shorts or flip flops!

Wear the letters and pins. Advertise your GLO first!

Why dress like slobs when we are supposed to be a step above others.

N-S-E-W, what difference does it make?

[magichat]

Originally Posted by nate2512

hmm...thanks for the enlightening, its just most of the time when we get into to boat shoes, the northerns don't seem to wear them.

Well, I guess maybe its because I am from coastal southern new england then. But then again, how we dress at home is vastly different then much of the rest of the region I live in.

[navane]

Originally Posted by als463

I've read through the other threads and I'm learning a little more as I go-like the "Walking a PNM out"...we are trying to avoid being "walked out"...

"We" are trying to avoid being walked out or he is trying to avoid being walked out?

As others mentioned, you may be getting into too much detail about polos, stripes, pockets, etc....especially considering it's not you who is rushing. I might suggest that you allow him to work out a game plan and allow him to dress himself and be himself.

I totally get that you are excited for him and you really want him to get a bid. Understood. But, I don't know, I kinda cringe sometimes when I see a girl getting all up in her man's business like this. It sort of come across a little bit like when a girl goes overboard planning her wedding and she expects her fiance to sit down with her and work out which shade of blue, dark blue, cornflower blue or midnight blue would be best for the ribbons on the bridemaids' bouquets.

As you know, sorority rush and fraternity rush are different beasts - all of the super attention to detail that goes into an NPC rush (girls planning each round of outfits down to eyeshadow colors, accessory jewelry, and type of high heel) may not necessarily be what needs to be done for a fraternity rush.

Since your bf is an older guy with military service under his belt, I would expect that he's got himself together enough to know how to handle rush. If he doesn't, he might want to take ownership over his situation and come to GC himself and ask questions first hand.

.....Kelly

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by magichat

Well, I guess maybe its because I am from coastal southern new england then. But then again, how we dress at home is vastly different then much of the rest of the region I live in.

Same area here...wore them in high school (many moons ago) and have some right now, from LL Bean, of course. I just forgot how to make the curlyq ties.

[als463]

Originally Posted by navane

"We" are trying to avoid being walked out or he is trying to avoid being walked out?

As others mentioned, you may be getting into too much detail about polos, stripes, pockets, etc....especially considering it's not you who is rushing. I might suggest that you allow him to work out a game plan and allow him to dress himself and be himself.

I totally get that you are excited for him and you really want him to get a bid. Understood. But, I don't know, I kinda cringe sometimes when I see a girl getting all up in her man's business like this. It sort of come across a little bit like when a girl goes overboard planning her wedding and she expects her fiance to sit down with her and work out which shade of blue, dark blue, cornflower blue or midnight blue would be best for the ribbons on the bridemaids' bouquets.

As you know, sorority rush and fraternity rush are different beasts - all of the super attention to detail that goes into an NPC rush (girls planning each round of outfits down to eyeshadow colors, accessory jewelry, and type of high heel) may not necessarily be what needs to be done for a fraternity rush.

Since your bf is an older guy with military service under his belt, I would expect that he's got himself together enough to know how to handle rush. If he doesn't, he might want to take ownership over his situation and come to GC himself and ask questions first hand.

.....Kelly

Good Point and I see what you are saying...the thing is that because I am Greek-it's pretty much assumed that I know more about recruitment than him. That's why I am helping him. As far as clothing goes-I don't mean to be too nit-picky but, after reading the "Biggest Rush Mistakes" and "Meanest thing you've ever done/ said to a rushee" I worry....I had no clue fraternities could be so blatantly mean to people they don't care for. Then again-my guy isn't some bragging jackass like some of these guys that have probably been dismissed.

It doesn't necessarily come down to what someone is wearing but, I had no clue wearing a shirt that said Holister with a big bird and some stripes on it would be bad...so, some of this is helpful. I just wanted to know what would not be appreciated by fraternity men. Does he hit up house to house or just go to houses he is interested in? Is it weird to want to join a fraternity because you enjoy what they do for the community and you really like their philanthropy? Is it weird to join for the "brotherhood" aspect? Not that these would be weird-but, if the guys ask (remember-he won't be an 18 year old freshman) should he tell them these things or will they think he has no personality and never wants to party?

When I went through recruitment-that was the thing I was looking at more than partying "philanthropy" and "sisterhood"....My sisters usually win some philanthropy award each year and my chapter is the chapter who raises the most for my org. of all the other collegiate chapters-thanks to Thon....so, I def. got my wish...

So, I guess the question is simply, "What should you do/ not do" in order to be a desirable rushee? It's not a matter of getting the best house-at 26 that is not the #1 reason you join...

[PhiGam]

I'm going shopping for Sperry's right now... theyre always on sale in Michigan.

[Yabnal]

Hi, being another Northern Greek at a Big Ten University, I'll let you know how our fraternity rush is structured and whats appropriate...

Our rush is informal and dry. Its usually 2-3 weeks into the school year. Fraternities will hold BBQs and parties during welcome week and the first few weeks of the school year, usually toning down the weekend before rush (because sorority girls aren't allowed at our houses the weekend before or the week of rush). We have two door girls that'll welcome the guys as they come in & take down their information/pictures for us.

Once they're at our house... we play card games and eat/hang out. We play lots, and LOTS of card games. My chapter has a "no TV" rule in effect for rush unless something big is going on, because it doesn't foster communication between brothers and PNMs.

Our rush lasts 4 days (that may change in the fall, but traditionally it has been 4 days). On Mondays the brothers wear jeans/rush t-shirts (either old or new ones, we like to show a variety of the t-shirts, and not all look the same.). Tuesdays the brothers should be wearing Jeans/Polo or Khaki/Polo. Wednesdays we were button down tucked in with khakis. Thursdays we're in formal attire and we do dinners like we normally do during the school year.

Rush runs from 7-10 for those 4 days, we hand out bids that Thursday night.

Some houses on my campus dirty rush. If they're caught by IFC (IFC has the right to walk through the house at any time during rush) they are usually placed on some kind of probation and its reported to their nationals. Dirty rush would be considered: any kind of drinking, or girls other than the two door girls in the house during rush.

In terms of what *not* to do, and this is more general and some are probably not applicable to the kind of guy that your boyfriend is:

Don't talk about partying unless asked about it. And be mum on the details. "Yeah, I have a good time." or "Yeah, I was at that party last week, I had a blast" is cool. Saying "I got so hammered that I pissed myself" is not.

Don't act like you belong in that house. Rush is AWKWARD in this situation. We all know it. We're making judgement decisions on guys based on *at MOST* 12 hours of interaction. By the end of the week things'll probably be less awkward, but that doesn't mean that you "belong" there for a while.

Don't be upset if some of your friends who are in the house are kind of ignoring you - they already know you, they're trying to let everyone else get to know you after they introduce you, plus they've got to meet the other potentials.

Now some things you SHOULD do:

I would DEFINITELY talk about my military experience, if I had any. It shows that you can deal with tough situations, that you'll likely be a leader in the house because of your experience in those tough situations. The current president of IFC at my university is an ex-marine. Some houses might not like it, but my own house just graduated a non-traditional student that took a few years off. My only caveat would be "don't brag about it." Talk about how it influenced your life and some of your experiences, don't act high and mighty about it.

Definitely talk about his interest in philanthropy. That is something that he can make his own, even if there isn't a philanthropy for that house. Or it can show him that a particular house may not be right for him.

Anyway, this is kind of long, but there was a bunch of stuff I wanted to throw out there for you/him to consider. One thing he might want to look into is joining a smaller house, if he's more interested in the "brotherhood" side of it. I personally belong to a house that is about on the median for my campus, this fall we'll have 39 actives. I love the fact that we're a small house and have started to compete with big houses. I also feel like I am much more tight nit with my house and my pledge class.

[Alpha Sig Scott]

Originally Posted by als463

Because I'm a sorority member and know very little about Fraternity recruitment...would someone mind explaining to me what someone SHOULD wear for Rush parties???

My boyfriend and I have talked about it (because he is looking to rush) and both of us are clueless. He is looking at schools in the North. He is mainly looking at Ivy League and Big 10 Universities. Any help would be great!

1.) How should you dress/ what should you wear?
2.) What should you avoid wearing at all costs?

3.) Should he talk about the great community service he's helped my sorority with or should he completely not talk about that at all?

4.) Should he talk about military service?

5.) Should he talk about honors awards and having a high GPA or will the guys look at him like someone who only cares about academics and can't just chill?

6.) What are some great topics to discuss and what is considered "taboo"?

I've read through the other threads and I'm learning a little more as I go-like the "Walking a PNM out"...we are trying to avoid being "walked out"...How do you know if they just aren't into you? My bf is very reserved-not snobbish-just pretty laid back....I was just wondering....any advice (from women or men) would be great!

2.) Anything by Affliction or Ed Hardy

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by Alpha Sig Scott

2.) Anything by Affliction, Ed Hardy, Ecko, Roc a Wear, any brand created by a Rapper, Osh Kosh B Gosh

FYP