Discipline: Spanking

[SusySorostitute]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

No, most of the time I've seen the kid wants a toy or a treat, often from the check out line. S/he's not trying to get out of shopping, but trying to get mommy or daddy to give in on the candy. Hence removal from the store is effective.

If they're in the check out line lets hope they will be leaving soon anyways!

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I remember when grocery stores began having candy/chips/toys-free check out lines so kids won't ask for stuff. I guess not every parent was able to get their kid to adhere to the "don't ask for anything" rule.

No parent nor kid is perfect.

Originally Posted by SusySorostitute

If they're in the check out line lets hope they will be leaving soon anyways!

I've seen people, regretfully, walk out while they're in the line, and say that they'll be back to pay for it. And I've seen parents stick it out, not giving in to the 'i want candy" or whatever. I usually figure the parents who stick it out can't afford the time/transportation to come back later or alone or just figure their kid can deal with it and they'll be out of everyone else's hair soon anyway.

[WinniBug]

I was spanked til I was probably 11. Everything from wire coat hangers, to wooden spoon, to branches I had to break off myself.
I don't want to spank, but we'll see....

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

No parent nor kid is perfect.

Did you know that BP spilled some oil?

[epchick]

Originally Posted by IlovemyAKA

I was spanked. I wasn't a troublesome kid at school because of it. All kids try to push their limits, and that's where my spankings came into play. I don't harbor any resentment because of spankings, and I will spank my kids.

Yep that's me. I was spanked as a child, and so was everyone I know (and this is regardless of race). I don't harbor any resentment, and I will DEFINTELY spank my children if needed. I'm very pro-spanking.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Alumiyum, I stand behind my comments. Parents need to figure out whatever they need to figure out for their children and whatever works for their kids. Parenting is difficult but it isn't impossible. It is your cousin's job to figure out her child. If that means they won't go out in public because nothing works for the annoying child then that's completely on them and, depending on who you ask (including some child experts), that reflects more on the parents than the child. If the child has special needs then the needs must be learned to the best of their ability. If the child is The Omen then...I dunno.

This isn't a "how to" thread for parenting. Everything that I have said can be applied however parents see fit. If parents want to stay at home, get take-out, or leave everytime their child acts up (often because they didn't fix the problem the first two times their child acted up in public...not every badass child has "special needs") then that's fine for them. I hope the parents don't end up miserable or their child never feels that he or she is in charge of their household. If that happens, they shouldn't really wonder why.

Simply put, I stand by what I said as well. Children, like dogs, are not robots and it is not always possible to simply input a certain program to get a certain result. Sometimes they will do as they please, regardless of the consequences.

I am simply observing that in some cases, my cousins included, this is absolutely not a case of the child acting up repeatedly and being allowed to escalate. The child experts they have consulted-yes, more than one- have found no special needs and all the creative disciplining advice they've been given they've tried (aside from spanking) so the result is that they just leave when she pulls this crap and discipline her at home. I don't understand the need to look down upon this action. Good parents do not subject the restaurant to a screaming child. And even the best parents will not get exactly the behavior they want out of their child 100% of the time.

[SusySorostitute]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

No parent nor kid is perfect.



I've seen people, regretfully, walk out while they're in the line, and say that they'll be back to pay for it. And I've seen parents stick it out, not giving in to the 'i want candy" or whatever. I usually figure the parents who stick it out can't afford the time/transportation to come back later or alone or just figure their kid can deal with it and they'll be out of everyone else's hair soon anyway.

Wow, I have never see that and I'm surprised stores will adhere to the honor system like that. I wouldn't blame any parent who sticks to the latter. I do not like parents who let their children act up in public, but at the same time, some people are just so intolerant of kids in public, I wonder if they realize that they were kids once too (and that is not directed at you DroleFille).

[agzg]

Originally Posted by SusySorostitute

Wow, I have never see that and I'm surprised stores will adhere to the honor system like that. I wouldn't blame any parent who sticks to the latter. I do not like parents who let their children act up in public, but at the same time, some people are just so intolerant of kids in public, I wonder if they realize that they were kids once too (and that is not directed at you DroleFille).

I don't blame people for being intolerant of kids screaming, kicking, acting up, throwing things, and misbehaving in public.

Sure, I was a kid once, too, but I knew if I behaved that way I would be spanked. I shouldn't HAVE to put up with other people's asshole kids when I'm out.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Forrealdoe?!

All of my posts said this.

My response was mostly colored by what I perceive to be a disdain for parents who remove their child from the situation because of the assumption that this means they are not effective at disciplining at home. Because that is an assumption.

[DrPhil]

Yeah, I have disdain for parents whose kids have a habit of acting out in public and who have a habit of having to leave public places. They need to fix that. I'm only talking about patterns of behavior. You said your cousin's child is annoying. That sounds like a pattern of behavior and not just a normal child who challenges boundaries sometimes.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Yeah, I have disdain for parents whose kids have a habit of acting out in public and who have a habit of having to leave public places. They need to fix that. I'm only talking about patterns of behavior. You said your cousin's child is annoying. That sounds like a pattern of behavior and not just a normal child who challenges boundaries sometimes.

Well, as I clarified, the "child experts" can't "fix" her either. She's a kid, not a toy, computer game, or hairdo.

Parenting isn't a game with scorecards, and looking down upon others doesn't mean one is right. It means one has a personal opinion. My personal opinion is that parents who are loving, consistent, and willing to be creative in their methods of teaching/disciplining their children are good parents.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by agzg

I don't blame people for being intolerant of kids screaming, kicking, acting up, throwing things, and misbehaving in public.

Sure, I was a kid once, too, but I knew if I behaved that way I would be spanked. I shouldn't HAVE to put up with other people's asshole kids when I'm out.

Eh, being in public means dealing with the public, annoying kids included. Even if I'm annoyed I try and check myself by reminding myself that odds are this is a one off, and the parent is trying to deal with it. If I see the parent being particularly stupid, or hear the screaming go on from aisle to aisle, I'll be less tolerant.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Well, as I clarified, the "child experts" can't "fix" her either. She's a kid, not a toy, computer game, or hairdo. Parenting isn't a game with scorecards

I know what parenting is.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

and looking down upon others doesn't mean one is right. It means one has a personal opinion.

Well, you're the one who called your cousin's child annoying.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

My personal opinion is that parents who are loving, consistent, and willing to be creative in their methods of teaching/disciplining their children are good parents.

I essentially said this in my very first post.

I don't think we disagree. I think we have two different angles for the same point. If you think your cousin is an excellent parent whose child is just...whatever no matter what...then okay.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I know what parenting is.



Well, you're the one who called your cousin's child annoying.



I essentially said this in my very first post.

I don't think we disagree. I think we have two different angles for the same point. If you think your cousin is an excellent parent whose child is just...whatever no matter what...then okay.

I'll say this. I do not believe children are things to be "fixed". I think they have individual personalities and thoughts and sometimes even patience and consistency don't work.

And for every expert with opinion A there are three more with opinion B, and all four have credibility. (But, that's the case in any field of course).

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

I'll say this. I do not believe children are things to be "fixed". I think they have individual personalities and thoughts and sometimes even patience and consistency don't work.

And for every expert with opinion A there are three more with opinion B, and all four have credibility. (But, that's the case in any field of course).

As long as you know that we aren't disagreeing. Do not take my use of "fix" so literally.