questions about pinning? - Page 4

AXiDThetaPhi · #46 03-01-2002, 08:23 PM

Brownsuga,

I think these girls are speaking of why their boyfriends have given up their letters. As I have said in one of my replies it is somewhat like a greek engagement on our campus. And dont get me wrong but in a marriage you share EVERYTHING with the person you are to spend the rest of your life with. Also the giving of the letters (which are such a large part of each greek person's life) shows how much you care for that person. That Fraternity man is giving his girlfriend his letters because he trusts that she will not do anything to wrong him. But that is all I can think of at the moment

NinjaPoodle · #47 03-03-2002, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kristiAZD
You didn't say so, but I am guessing you are a member of a NPHC organization because of your beliefs.

FYI KristiAZD

THis young lady is a member of Alpha Kappa Delta Phi, which is a national asian american interest sorority founded in 1990 @ UC Berkeley (CAL) , which is not part of the NPHC.

This is an interesting topic, pinning and lavaliering. I've never heard of anything like this in the Divine Nine but then again I just crossed last fall.

brownsugakdphi · #48 03-03-2002, 09:52 AM

Ninjapoodle, good job on the research.... I guess you know a lot about aKDPhi from what it sounds like....

And no I am not part of NPHC... We are recognized but not a part of it. Furthermore, as I said before, you may be deeply in love, but you can show your love for someone else in various ways. I had a boyfriend who was in a fraternity, and if he was wearing his letters, I couldn't hug him. To some people that might be weird, but I understood because I would be touching his letters. In the same aspect, he never hugged me when I had mine on. Reason being was although we loved each other very much our letters represented a part of our lives that did not include the other person. He showed he cared for me in various ways, but I would never want to get pinned/laveliered by him. In doing so, I would feel like I had received his letters without doing anything for them. Without saying what organization he's from, believe me his process was challenging and often times impossible, but he made it... and for me to wear his letters (in any form) would be like saying that just because I'm his love interest, his education process means nothing...

AlphaGam1019 · #49 03-03-2002, 10:22 AM

It's apparent that we have different traditions. Please read back on this thread-- it's been discussed and agreed upon that NPC and NPHC have different views on the matter.

XO_Princess · #50 03-07-2002, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dzsaigirl
We do not pin on our campus. Actually, I have heard that some fraternities will beat the crap out of a brother who does, which is asinine. We do have lavaliering, but we call it "getting dropped" because we call the lavalier a "drop". When I went through rush this girl was telling me about being dropped by her boyfriend and I couldn't figure out why this made her happy...so she had to explain. I always thought that dropped was the same as dumped until then!

Lol, the first time I heard this, my ex was talking about how he was going to drop me, and I was like, you're going to do what?? Then he told me what it was-we never called it "dropping" at my school.

TriDeltaGal · #51 03-11-2002, 04:05 AM

KristiAZD,
At UCLA and I think the majority of the West Coast, pinnings are more predominate than dropping. I have never even heard of dropping until GC. Many girls in my house have been pinned and wear their pin along with their boyfriend's to chapter or when in formal attire at sorority functions. Just thought I would let you know...

arrowgirl · #52 05-27-2002, 08:36 PM

I'm not quite sure of the occurrance of lavaliering or pinning on my campus, but from what I understand, lavaliering is equivalent to a promise ring, and pinning is the equivalent of becoming engaged. At least that's the way it is here. I only know a two people who are lavaliered, and only one who is pinned, and that's my Big! She's looking at getting her pin and his pin put together by a jeweler... which I think would be cool.

Anywho, just thought I would share.

#53 05-28-2002, 12:01 PM

Just out of curiousity, does anyone know what Pi Kappa Alpha's stance on letters/lavaliering/pinning is?

A few years ago, I was dating a Pike who gave me one of his letter sweatshirts to wear. I felt a little uncomfortable about it, because we hadn't been together <i>that</i> long, but I was proud all the same. The chapter on our campus was pretty new, and I never worked up the guts to ask any of his brothers what the policy was.

I could kick myself now for breaking up with him...he was a good guy....

GreekGuide · #54 05-29-2002, 06:51 PM

I just posted this on another thread about "dropping someone"

When I was an undergrad, the general procedures/etiquette were as follows:

1) After two Greeks have dated for a considerable time (i.e., usually a year or more), the fraternity man lavaliered the sorority woman. Usually on this occassion, there was no major celebration between the chapters. He may or may not have been subjected to the tree tying event. She always received a candle pass ceremony from her sorority sisters. We sang a song as we lit a candle and passed it in a circle. It was a big deal because no one in the chapter knows ahead of time, who the lucky honoree is...except usually her closest of sisters or pledge family members, who would read a verse or quote when the candle reached them. The last person to read announces something to the effect of "I am so excited to announce the lavaliering of my pledge daughter Susie Gam to Doug Delt. Lavaliering was very commonplace when I was in school. Sometimes, it was given after only six months. People who are against lavaliering often say having his letters hang from your lavalier symbolizes that you're owned by his fraternity. That you're property.

2) As time goes on and the relationship blossoms, a pinning usually follows. In reference to some previous posts, the woman usually is known by many of the fraternity man's brothers and well liked and vice versa, the woman's sisters known and like the man. It's usually a big secret. The men come over the woman's chapter house and serenade her. She gets another candle pass ceremony.

Pinning is a HUGE deal as it doesn't happen very often anymore. It was much bigger in the 40's and 50's. It is also a really huge deal because as some of the other posts have said, the woman is not only wearing his letters, she is now wearing his badge as well. She ranks equal to his fraternity brothers and vows. By the way, from what I understand, most fraternities have a special badge that is given in pinnings or also to chapter sweethearts. The men don't typically give their actual badge to the woman. It's generally a smaller and more feminine version of their actual badge.

Usually once the pinning takes place the chapters have a party together. Susie and Doug's Pinning Party. At my school, it was customary that the couple paid for their own party. It rarely came out of chapter funds.

Just to reiterate, getting pinned is a HUGE deal as it doesn't happent hat often. From a timing perspective, usually the couple starts dating their freshman or sophomore year, and the pinning happens towards the middle to end of their senior year. So, they've been dating throughout college. You don't start dating freshman year, get lavaliered second semester and then sophomore year get pinned. Pinning is a very special, thing. It truly means that you are about to get engaged. It's like a promise ring for greeks.

3) An engagement almost always follows a pinning. Woman gets another candle pass. No big hoopla. It is usually reserved for the pinning.

As far as sweethearts go, different fraternities have different criteria. Sometimes, it's simply a woman who has been elected as sort of a queen other times it's a woman who has done a lot in terms of service for the fraternity or other times it's a woman who has been pinned by the fraternity. She usually is good friends with many members of the fraternity brothers. It's similar to a little sis. In fact, sometimes it is the little sister of a fraternity brother. No matter what, a woman who is a sweetheart, lil sis, pinned, lavaliered, etc...is very well respected by the fraternity.

Hope that helps. Remember, this was just at my school. Different strokes for different folks.

SigmaKappaKelly · #55 05-31-2002, 02:11 PM

My boyfriend is a Sig Ep at a diff. school then I go to and it differs from school to school. At his school for Sig eps you have to be a Junior or Senior to pin your gf. Most are Seniors unless you have been together for a long time. I've been to the pinning ceremony, but not yet pinned

(maybe when I'm a junior) They actually get a pin, I'm not sure whether it is the same pin or not. But when your pinned you are put to the level of his brothers, you can sit in on rituals and you learn the secrets. As for where to where the pins, I know that Sigma Kappa has rules where you wear your other fraternity pins like Order of the Omega pins, honor frats NPC etc. So it may be different for the other Chapters.
At my school pinning is really special but seen as really bad luck. The guy gets treed which is the most disgusting thing to witness. I saw one guy beaten with a dead piece of roadkill. And then his girlfriend is called to pick him up and take care of him, cute idea but treeing goes way too far.

GreekGuide · #56 05-31-2002, 02:37 PM

Getting treed sucks for the guys. When I got laveliered, my bf got tied to the tree in front of his house, which is in front of my chapter's house.

He was stripped down to his underwear. They then usually throw some bucket of stuff on you. It's like mayo, mustard, ketchup, urine, throw-up, you name it...it's gross.

Then like you said, they call the girlfriend to pick him up.

AlphaGam1019 · #57 05-31-2002, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SigmaKappaKelly
But when your pinned you are put to the level of his brothers, you can sit in on rituals and you learn the secrets.

hrm-- that sounds wrong.

greeklawgirl · #58 05-31-2002, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SigmaKappaKelly
My boyfriend is a Sig Ep at a diff. school then I go to and it differs from school to school. But when your pinned you are put to the level of his brothers, you can sit in on rituals and you learn the secrets.

Ummm, I was (am) pinned to a Sig Ep, as were several of my sisters and friends. I can assure you that none of us ever sat in on a ritual.

I have a hunch that if such a thing is really going on, Sig Ep's headquarters wouldn't be happy to hear about it.

AlphaGam1019 · #59 05-31-2002, 02:49 PM

definately fishy. There was one fraternity that lavaliered a girl and made up this lavish ceremony for her and practically made her a brother. Their headquarters weren't too happy to hear about that.

kristiAZD · #60 05-31-2002, 11:59 PM

I have a feeling that if they are doing this, it is by their own choice, NOT the headquarters of SPE. My boyfriend is a Sig Ep, and though I am lavaliered and sweetheart, I will NEVER be let in on their rituals and secrets. I am not even allowed to be in the house sleeping or watching TV in my boyfriend's room if they are having a meeting or a ceremony. If this chapter is doing this, it is very wrong.