You have animals, he/she is allergic

[MTSUGURL]

Originally Posted by 33girl

ETA: this also extends to what happens after you die. Ask a trusted friend if they'll be willing to care for whatever pets you might have after your death and put it in your will. Again, this is about being responsible and not putting more burden on an already overcrowded shelter/rescue system. Don't just assume friends and family will care for your pets.

AMEN. My husband and I have already told my grandmother that we'll take her pomeranian if something were to happen to her while the dog is still alive. I doubt that will be the case, and honestly while the dog is a cutie I really hope she outlives him. She doesn't want to take him outside all the time so he's been trained to use the bathroom floor and then she just cleans it up. EW.

I've never understood the people that get a dog/cat/whatever and then say, "I'm pregnant! Can someone take my dog/cat/whatever?" I got my Gracie while I was single and from day one had her around other animals and children to get her used to any situation we might have in the future.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

I've never understood the people that get a dog/cat/whatever and then say, "I'm pregnant! Can someone take my dog/cat/whatever?" I got my Gracie while I was single and from day one had her around other animals and children to get her used to any situation we might have in the future.

Some people are worried about toxoplasmosis, but that's not even that common. And it wouldn't apply to dogs.

I think that some people are all-or-nothing when it comes to this sort of thing. They can't multitask. I know someone who got rid of her BIRD when she had a kid. Really? A bird eats seed and you clean its cage once a week.

[DubaiSis]

Sounds like an excuse to rid your house of a friggin bird. GACK. I totally do not get it about having a bird for a pet.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

I've never understood the people that get a dog/cat/whatever and then say, "I'm pregnant! Can someone take my dog/cat/whatever?"

A lot of the problem with women ditching their cats when they get pregnant is because of their obstetrician. When the obstetrician says "just to be on the safe side, no cats", few women are willing to stand up to their OB and make the small changes or even be tested, in order to keep their cat.

[greekdee]

Okay, I have to weigh in on the bird thing. I never understood how anyone could get too excited over having a bird for a pet...then I got Tiki Bob, only THE most awesome Pineapple Green Cheek Conure parrot ever hatched. I had no idea how interactive and affectionate companion birds are, and because they're flock oriented, they see their humans as that flock. They bond with you in a big way, which is something I didn't expect. Also, this guy sings, dances to country music, cuddles, talks, ride bareback on the dogs, chases the cat AND has his own Facebook page to show off his amazing shredding and chewing art. He once crafted a guitar from a cardboard pizza flyer and routinely makes starbursts from apple slices. He loves to tuck himself inside my shirt and ride around, and has accompanied me (undetected) to a University of Tennessee football game, a two day Zac Brown festival and on numerous trips to Target. Tiki Bob recently lost his right eye but is doing well as he embraces his inner pirate parrot.

Birds are not for everyone, and careful thought and research should be given before getting one, but they can make wonderful buddies. I love this guy and will most definitely be a crazy bird lady in my golden years.

[Tulip86]

I'm allergic to cats as well and one of my friends refuses to even put the cat in the other room or vacuum before I come around to her place. I think it's very disrespectful, the has a huge house, and I usually only stick to the living room and kitchen, can the cat really not survive 3 hours of not being in those two rooms? I get that she loves her pet, I'm the same with dogs, but if one of my friends or family members has allergies or is scared of said dog, the human comes first.
She's in my pledge class and always plans a lot of our dinners at her house, which means me and another woman can never attend.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Tulip86

the human comes first.

Exactly.

Originally Posted by Tulip86

She's in my pledge class and always plans a lot of our dinners at her house, which means me and another woman can never attend.

To me that means she doesn't want you to attend. My family, friends, and chapter Sorors don't host events if they are unwilling to accommodate the guests when it comes to pets. Everyone would eventually stop showing up if they believed some people were being excluded for the sake of animals.

[*winter*]

I'm starting to reconsider. There are plenty of men in the world who aren't allergic to my best friends...

I always put "must not be allergic to cats" on my dating site profile... The one time I didn't...

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Exactly.



To me that means she doesn't want you to attend. My family, friends, and chapter Sorors don't host events if they are unwilling to accommodate the guests when it comes to pets. Everyone would eventually stop showing up if they believed some people were being excluded for the sake of animals.

I don't know if it's that they don't want people to attend as much as it is ignorance about how allergies can effect people. I've gotten the side eye from people who think I'm complaining about mild reactions and that I shouldn't inconvenience a host, when it's actually that my throat closes up as a result. For so many people in the world, I believe that if they don't directly experience something they don't believe it exists.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

I don't know if it's that they don't want people to attend as much as it is ignorance about how allergies can effect people. I've gotten the side eye from people who think I'm complaining about mild reactions and that I shouldn't inconvenience a host, when it's actually that my throat closes up as a result. For so many people in the world, I believe that if they don't directly experience something they don't believe it exists.

If someone tells you they have allergies or they are afraid of pets, put the darn pets away. There's no need to get a doctor's note or make people have to practically plead for the comfort and convenience of humans. Insisting that pets and pet remnants take over your house regardless of the impact on humans screams intentional assholeness rather than cluelessness. Unless the person has an antisocial personality disorder.

Winter, are your pets really your best friends? Do they talk to you and listen (know and understand what you're saying) to you when you talk to them? Yes, there are men who aren't allergic to your pets but I think there's a larger point here than men. This is about conception of self and conception of pets. I'm not trying to beat you over the head but I find your posts in this thread interesting and they spark discussion.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

If someone tells you they have allergies or they are afraid of pets, put the darn pets away. There's no need to get a doctor's note or make people have to practically plead for the comfort and convenience of humans. Insisting that pets and pet remnants take over your house regardless of the impact on humans screams intentional assholeness rather than cluelessness. Unless the person has an antisocial personality disorder.

Winter, are your pets really your best friends? Do they talk to you and listen (know and understand what you're saying) to you when you talk to them? Yes, there are men who aren't allergic to your pets but I think there's a larger point here than men. This is about conception of self and conception of pets. I'm not trying to beat you over the head but I find you posts in this thread interesting and they spark discussion.

I wish all cat owners that I've known over the years thought like you, but they don't. I agree with you that people come first, but if I got mad and called people an asshole every time in my life I was faced with this ignorance, I would end up being considered the asshole.

I've had similar conversations with mothers who get all bent out of shape about no peanut butter at schools. I've pissed some people off by asking them if they're cool being the one responsible for landing their kid's classmate in the emergency room because it's more convenient for them to send peanut butter. To me it's not worth the risk. My kid can eat something else. If she's too picky to eat what I pack for her, she will if she gets hungry enough. People who haven't experienced severe allergies just don't get it.

[Munchkin03]

Two of my friends recently married. He is allergic to cats, she had two that she loved immensely. As a result, when they were dating, they spent most of their time at his place. He did start getting shots so he could come over. When they got engaged and moved in together, one cat came and the other stayed behind at her family's home. The cats are old and chances are when they die, they won't replace them.

Compromise is key with something like this. Once they found the right person, the animal situation worked itself out. Either of them could have been inflexible--and they'd likely still be single and wondering why they couldn't find the right person.

[DrPhil]

AmIblue? You can consider people assholes without announcing their assholeness. LOL. If I can't find a way to express my opinion of a situation I just limit my time around the person or thing. That includes pet lovers whose pets seem to be more important than humans. As for the Peanut Butter Parents, yet another illustration that policies tend to exist because humans are too stuck up our asses to do the right thing.

[DubaiSis]

The 2 issues (pets and peanuts) have a similar problem. Some people who don't have the allergy think those who do are either making it up or blowing their little sniffles problem way out of the water. I mean really, can a kid die from being AROUND a kid eating a peanut butter sandwich? Well, yes. Bizarrely they can. I've never heard of a cat allergy being that severe, but the watery eyes, scratchy throat, hives, isn't that person just being passive-aggressive. Evolution is a bitch and with the chemicals we ingest these types of allergies are probably just going to get worse. My opinion of course.

[DrPhil]

To follow-up DubaiSis's post:

People can end up in emergency rooms due to pet allergies and other allergies. That can include throats and faces that are so swollen that they are unrecognizable. There are times when allergic swelling can last for a month. The swelling can even rise at night and lower during the day so that the person seems "red" but not as swollen until it swells up again at night. Some doctors consider this perpetual swelling as though the body is trying to fight it but can't win the battle. This can also lead to death if the swelling is in certain parts of the body.

There are some things that people with allergies can't avoid like plants/flowers/grass, ingredients hidden in food, fragrances, etc. That's why people take allergy medicine so they can live a normal life and hopefully the medicine works more often than not. But when something is avoidable like pets and even pet hair covered couches, I see nothing unreasonable about reducing interaction with pets if you want that person to come around.