Should I join this fraternity?

fly right · #1 12-07-2011, 01:06 AM

A little background: I'm a freshman at a large state university in Oregon hoping to join a fraternity this year and get more involved on campus. I've made tons of friends here, but I've been feeling isolated since I got here because I've had a hard time truly connecting with people, finding my niche, and feeling like I belong. I'm hoping joining a fraternity will solve (or at least help solve) this problem. I'm a social, outgoing, and laid back guy who likes to have fun but not go insane when I go out. I have yet to black out, hook up with a girl, or just party insanely hard in general and people tell me I'm not the stereotypical fraternity type. I still do enjoy parties. I'm hoping I can find a fraternity that allows me to meet new people and connect with like minded men. My options in terms of fraternities:

Fraternity 1: I visited at their house and it was very well kept and the brothers seemed nice and professional. They reached out to me later and asked me to rush, but I declined because I wanted to get a feel for college before rushing. They are not the biggest but not the smallest, have excellent core values and a mission statement with a killer website and a nice house, throw good parties (from the 1 I've been to), have a good reputation on campus, and are located very close to my dorm. I personally know none of the brothers.

Fraternity 2: Three of my very good friends and floor mates are brothers in fraternity 2. They invite me to their kickbacks and partys (even the more exclusive ones) and I know almost every brother who are really great guys. They want me to rush next quarter. Most are nice guys and fun to hang out with, however a lot of them seem socially awkward/misfits. Their house is not very nice and their fraternity is not very well known on campus. Overall they're a really great group of guys. Their frat just has a bit of a weird vibe to it sometimes.

Anyways, I ask because I believe fraternity 2 is rushing next quarter and fraternity 1 isn't rushing until spring quarter. I really want to rush next quarter, I'm just wondering if its worth waiting just so I can give fraternity 1 a shot or if I should just rush fraternity 2 because I already have friends there?

Leslie Anne · #2 12-07-2011, 01:51 AM

I'm not in a fraternity but I'll give you my 2 cents anyway.

It sounds like you're not 100% sold on fraternity 2. It has some good points and some bad points. Fraternity 1 made a good impression but you don't know any of the brothers. Even though you want to pledge this coming quarter, I think it might be a good idea to wait until the spring quarter. Take some more time to get to know the members of fraternity 1. You'll also have time to get a better idea if fraternity 2 really suits you and the negatives are outweighed by the positives.

excelblue · #3 12-07-2011, 02:06 AM

The question to ask yourself is: which of these chapters, if any, do you see yourself in? Can you picture yourself being lifelong friends with people in those chapters?

Just remember that it's the men that make up the fraternity.

If I were you, I'd reach out to Fraternity 1 and ask for more information.

Psi U MC Vito · #4 12-07-2011, 12:05 PM

I suggest you edit your post about fraternity 2 to remove any officer tittles. That can be a give away some times.

DubaiSis · #5 12-07-2011, 02:24 PM

I was just going to ask which fraternity calls their president Alpha.

Church · #6 12-07-2011, 02:33 PM

I'd say to get to know fraternity 1 better first, it's a bit alarming to me at least that number 2 doesn't take care of their property well and that they arn't well known. I think alot of fraternity guys are generally likable because if they were so terrible they realistically wouldn't have been as likely to get a bid.

If you come to the conclusion that fraternity 1 really isnt for you, you can still go back to fraternity 2.

knight_shadow · #7 12-07-2011, 02:34 PM

Am I the only one getting Omega Chi/Kappa Tau from this?

JDCookMS · #8 12-07-2011, 06:12 PM

I definitely have to agree with the rest, you should definitely reach out to some of the guys in Fraternity 1 to see what they're like. As with anything, there will always be guys you like and guys you don't like, but that's within any fraternity. I personally am not a fan that Fraternity 2 doesn't take care of their property, mainly because I see that as a sign of laziness and apathy.

But, over the holiday break, why not just reach out to some of the guys from Fraternity 1 and ask to hang out, or text and get to know or whatever you feel comfortable doing.

#9 12-07-2011, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Am I the only one getting Omega Chi/Kappa Tau from this?

But everybody knew Kappa Tau, or at least Cappy.

Tuffy11111 · #10 12-10-2011, 06:24 PM

As a guy that joined Fraternity 2....I agree with everyone else...look more into Fraternity 1 before you make your decision. It is a big decision, which kind of sucks because you want to make it as soon as possible so you have more time in the fraternity.

flopchop · #11 12-28-2011, 10:50 AM

Go where you fit in the most. Don't feel pressured into fraternity 2 just because your friends are in it. I have plenty of friends in other organizations.

jazing · #12 12-28-2011, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flopchop

Go where you fit in the most. Don't feel pressured into fraternity 2 just because your friends are in it. I have plenty of friends in other organizations.

To add to this, look around to other options besides these two groups. I have a friend who was still in the pledging process for his group, but he was already trying to get people to rush. I calmly spoke to whoever he was talking to and told them to look around, and that the person is a bit over his head.