What went wrong?

[Cheerio]

Originally Posted by Sphinxie

Saw this, and I had a question. I posted about my daughter, who dropped out of rush under similar circumstances and then came back older and wiser, having regretted it.

If RFM says that the heaviest cuts are the first invitational party, so sororities should drop girls they have no intention of pledging at that point, why were both this girl and my daughter kept through several invitational parties, only to be dropped by most right on pref night?

My daughter got invited to 8 parties (the max allowed) the first invitational day, 6 parties (the max allowed) the second invitational day, including one chapter considered "top" at that school. So she felt like she could get into that chapter or, at least, she had a good cushion of solidly mid-tier houses. I assume if she had horrible social media or a bad reputation, she'd have been dropped earlier than that. But then, BOOM! On pref night, when she was feeling safe, she got dropped by all but her last two choices. They didn't tell her until RIGHT before the parties, so she cried and messed up her makeup (She's fair, so crying gets her really blotchy), and even though she did like one of the chapters that invited her back, she didn't want to go as a red-faced mess, which is why she dropped out. No one wants to walk into pref, looking like they have been crying hysterically about their parties. If she'd had any advance warning, such as if some of those 4 sororities had dropped her earlier OR if they'd at least told her her invitations more than a few minutes before the parties, she probably wouldn't have dropped.

So my question is, if the heavy cuts are supposed to come on Day 3 (or 2 if it's a school with fewer chapters), why did they come on pref night for both my daughter and this girl?

It did occur to my daughter that a couple of girls in one house must not have liked her as much as she thought they did, but again, wouldn't they know that the first or second day?

Fwiw, Mountainmama, I get why you were shocked and upset. When you have a clear head, you might want to try to join the sorority that did invite you back, either through COB if that's allowed or next year. My daughter did so, and she is very happy.

A stated by others in this thread, we cannot know what happened and will not guess just for the sake of giving answer. Accept what happened as your daughter's experience, and that she will be unable to understand recruitment from an initiated member's perspective because she rejected the opportunities she was given.