"Hi X, it's nice to meet you!" "Oh we've met already!"

mocotro · #1 07-20-2010, 04:27 AM

When I rushed last year, I was a bit overwhelmed with the number of girls that I met at each party. I am embarassed to say that I ran into the above situation twice. I tried to recover by blaming my absentmindedness on the heat, or the overwhelmingness of rush, but needless to say, I got cut from both houses after that round. I actually really connected with both girls so I'm very surprised and disappointed in myself that I didn't remember meeting them the first time around (I don't think I'm the best with faces...)

This year I'm rushing again, and I'm determined not to make the same mistake. I already plan on writing down the names/short descriptions of each girl I talk to after each party.

The thought has crossed my mind that if i REALLY connected with a girl, that I would remember her, but maybe I had met her near the end of the party and our time together was very short. My question is, how do I gracefully recover from failing to recognize a member that I have already met?

FSUZeta · #2 07-20-2010, 07:01 AM

had you met these girls prior to rush? was it at a large event?

ree-Xi · #3 07-20-2010, 07:10 AM

I always say, "it's so nice to see you". Leave off the "meet" or "again". Chances are, there will be something in next conversation to help you remember.

If you get stuck in a "we've already met", say, something like "I thought so, but I met so many people today/this week that I wasn't sure!"

Don't say that you have a bad memory or are bad with faces. It's rather innocuous, but it's best to not put yourself down in recruitment.

Good luck next time!

AGDee · #4 07-20-2010, 07:11 AM

I have done this , not in relation to sorority recruitment but in general life. I have learned to eliminate that phrase completely from my vocabulary. A smile and a "Hello Suzy, how are you?" works better for me than "Nice to meet you". Remembering people is just not a strength for me.

gee_ess · #5 07-20-2010, 09:25 AM

I agree. Leave the "It's nice to meet you" completely out of your conversation. Smile, act happy to see the girl, say something like "Hi! It's good to see you! How are you this morning?"

And I really like the suggestion above about not putting yourself down by saying things like, "I' am SO bad with names!"

Also, when thinking about my own situations where I run into someone that I think I already know but am not sure, I make sure the tone of my conversation sounds like I know them.

For example: A perfunctory nod of the head and straightfoward, "How are you?" is WAY different than a big smile and body language that says I recognize you, and then the genuinely warm, "How are you?!"

AlphaFrog · #6 07-20-2010, 09:43 AM

Somehow, I don't think forgetting that you met a couple girls is the reason you got cut. It could have contributed to it, but I don't think it'd be enough to get you cut. Unless those girls think they're that big of a deal that you should remember them, people realize that rush is a long, confusing process, and PNMs can't remember everyone they meet.

This is just an observation...no one here can tell you for sure why you were cut.

tinytina10 · #7 07-20-2010, 10:17 AM

While I agree that it doesn't seem like the sole reason to cut someone, I do recall a year where I thought I really connected with a PNM (like loved her so much that if she got a bid i had already decided I would want to be her Big Sis).

I kinda had my feelings hurt the next day when I cheerfully walked up to her to say hello and that I was happy to see her again and she didn't remember me at all. So to avoid that situation altogether, I would definitely recommend using the advice already posted.

On the other hand, am I the only one a little surprised with the "we've already met" response? Kinda catty

Regardless of if I thought the PNM should have remembered me, I feel like a comment like that would have really turned her off or embarrassed her - and thats not the kind of feeling I would want any PNM to leave my house with.

MaggieXi · #8 07-20-2010, 10:31 AM

I have to meet and remember names a lot for work. One trick that I find helps is start with using the person you are meeting's name. Granted you don't want to come off weird during recruitment, but, you might want to say something like "I'm so excited to be here (person's name)!". That way you've met them before and have forgotten it, then it sounds like you haven't. If you haven't met them before, its fine because its usually obvious as to what their name is if they are wearing a name tag. No harm, no foul.