Visiting Chapters Thread

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

You've never had relatives (blood relatives), or really even old friends, that you didn't really want in your residence before? You're lucky. I don't know why SD doesn't want these particular guys visiting, but there are plenty of valid reasons for concern that I can think of off the top of my head ...

Okay, point taken.

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

Are random people suppose to be our "brothers" when we had never met them before and went through a vastly different fraternity experience as our own? Are we realy brothers? Are we really expected to treat them as such?

Yes, they are supposed to be your brothers if they're members of the same fraternity. I guess this is just very surprising because I've never heard of this kind of attitude in the NPC. If you don't want to associate with what you call "random" people then why did any of you guys join national/international organizations?

All SD said was that they are "VERY different" which could mean just about anything. If he had said that this other chapter is full of jerks who are just going to trash the house then it's a completely different discussion.

[rufio]

give them the benefit of the doubt. who knows, you guys may end up liking each other. My chapter is really close with our surrounding chapters and while we are very different, it is always a blast to see them. they treat us like brothers from the same chapter and we do the same for them.

if you have them over and it doesnt work out, at least you know for next time.

[banditone]

I've never had an issue with any chapter I've visted (and I've been to chapters all over the country). However, my brothers and I always treated the chapter with respect and never took advantage of their hospitality.

We've had other chapters visit our house and most were great. There were a few that acted like fools. They never got an invite back.

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Okay, point taken.


Yes, they are supposed to be your brothers if they're members of the same fraternity. I guess this is just very surprising because I've never heard of this kind of attitude in the NPC. If you don't want to associate with what you call "random" people then why did any of you guys join national/international organizations?

All SD said was that they are "VERY different" which could mean just about anything. If he had said that this other chapter is full of jerks who are just going to trash the house then it's a completely different discussion.

My allegiance is to my chapter......you know, the 100+ guys that I have spent every day with for the past 4.5 years. Members of my chapter were chosen for specific reasons. We share the same interests. We generally like the same things. Just because I joined a national organization does not mean that I have to hold some random SAE from South Dakota in the same esteem I do my very best friends. Yes, he is my "brother" in recognition, nothing more, nothing less. I will respect him just as I would anyone in everyday life...........that does not mean that I have to invite him into my fraternity house and treat him as a full blown member of my chapter just because we know the same rituals and can give each other a cool handshake.

[als463]

I see both Leslie Anne and SEC Domination's points...they are understandable but, I have to admit-I'm confused..just a little....

This isn't the first time I have heard this from a fraternity member. In fact, at Penn State there was a group of Pi Kappa Alphas from Ohio State (I think it was) that came to party with the Pikes at PSU. Well, a fight started between the fraternity men (of the same GLO) but, not the same chapter. It was even on YouTube for a while.

I then began to question one of my friends who is a member of a national fraternity why men would do this. I stated that during the Orange Bowl when Penn State and Florida State played each other-had I gotten tickets to the game I would have hoped the FSU sisters would have accepted me-and I can say that I'm pretty certain they would (and vice versa)....

My friend began to talk about how even though he is a member of XYZ at Penn State-he does not have the same allegiance to the member of XYZ at Florida State, Ohio State, etc. I was a bit confused because as AST said earlier-I think it's great to meet sisters from all over-even rival schools....

So, although I understand like DST was saying about blood relatives coming to your home you don't want over (because I have a cousin my boyfriend and I won't tell her where we live for that reason alone) I am confused as to why these men took the same pledge/ oath as you and yet they don't constitue as "brothers"...I'm not complaining or trying to make anyone look bad-I'm just asking....why does it seem different for members of the NPC than it does all the fraternity men?

[Senusret I]

SEC, does your chapter have a website?

I know of an Alpha Chapter of an NPHC organization that had to deal with surprise visiting members so much that they wrote a policy and placed it on the website. I can't recall the exact wording but it was something like "We welcome you to visit with us, but we regret that we cannot house visitors with less than two weeks' notice." and/or "Please contact us prior to your visit so that we will know members are in the area."

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

How exactly do you determine that they have a "lack of true brotherhood?"

Are random people suppose to be our "brothers" when we had never met them before and went through a vastly different fraternity experience as our own? Are we realy brothers? Are we really expected to treat them as such?

Unbelievable. EW, your fraternity is way bigger than your old-money-obsessed farce of brotherhood.

I have no doubt that there are Sigma Kappas and Sigma Kappa chapters who are very different from my chapter and me, but I would treat every one of my sisters that I am lucky enough to meet with the utmost respect.

Back to the original topic, if your chapter were having any guests (that wanted to stay in the house), of course you'd want a decent amount of notice. The only exception I could think of is that if a bunch from another chapter just wanted to see the house, then they shouldn't really have to give much if any notice.

I'm not sure what kind of "different" you are talking about, whether it's just that this chapter is "low tier"/not Southern or if you anticipate these guys will trash your house/cause some sort of risk management issue. If it's the former, they're your brothers, and you really ought to be a gracious host because there is no good reason you shouldn't. If it's the latter, offer them a tour of the house, and maybe go somewhere else with them (i.e. don't drink in the house, don't offer to let them stay overnight in the house) but be polite.

ETA: Now I see what kind of "different" you are referring to. If you are so different, why do they want to hang out with your chapter?

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Unbelievable. EW, your fraternity is way bigger than your old-money-obsessed farce of brotherhood.

What an irrational, complete bullshit, unfounded statement. Are you kidding me? Total garbage. Pretty big talk from someone who, I'm pretty sure, has absolutely no clue who the guy is. I am sure that EW, like myself, has a very strong sense of brotherhood towards his own chapter. I am sure that his bonds with his pledge brothers and the guys who led him through pledgeship are as strong as any of ours.

You have absolutely no right to question his sense of brotherhood because he, like many of us, doesn't consider their ties to hundreds of thousands of men whom we will never know, meet, or see as strong as the individuals whom we have built friendships and bonds with that will last for the rest of our lives.

Like I said, I observe the fact that men from outside chapters are my "brothers" in the fact that we share the same rituals, oaths, etc. to our fraternity. That doesn't mean I have to treat everyone of them like my immediate family.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself. "Farce of brotherhood"........give me a f**king break.

I have no doubt that there are Sigma Kappas and Sigma Kappa chapters who are very different from my chapter and me, but I would treat every one of my sisters that I am lucky enough to meet with the utmost respect.

That's great. At what point did he or any of us say that we wouldn't treat people with respect? I said it multiple times. There is a huge difference between being respectful and courteous to someone and treating them like they've been in your life everyday since you've been in college.

Back to the original topic, if your chapter were having any guests (that wanted to stay in the house), of course you'd want a decent amount of notice. The only exception I could think of is that if a bunch from another chapter just wanted to see the house, then they shouldn't really have to give much if any notice.

Yes they should. We don't know these people. They could walk in side and shoot someone for all I know.

I'm not sure what kind of "different" you are talking about, whether it's just that this chapter is "low tier"/not Southern or if you anticipate these guys will trash your house/cause some sort of risk management issue. If it's the former, they're your brothers, and you really ought to be a gracious host because there is no good reason you shouldn't. If it's the latter, offer them a tour of the house, and maybe go somewhere else with them (i.e. don't drink in the house, don't offer to let them stay overnight in the house) but be polite.

ETA: Now I see what kind of "different" you are referring to. If you are so different, why do they want to hang out with your chapter?

How is he supposed to know answer this? Probably because they are in the same fraternity and know that they can't go to any other houses? I mean, is that not right?

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by macallan25

Like I said, I observe the fact that men from outside chapters are my "brothers" in the fact that we share the same rituals, oaths, etc. to our fraternity. That doesn't mean I have to treat everyone of them like my immediate family.

Slight hi-jack

I'm curious about this statement. Pretty much every Greek I've encountered IRL recognizes both chapter and national brothers/sisters as more than just "the people who know the same oath as me." Only on GC have I found people pledging their allegiance to the chapter (as opposed to the national organization). Of course, it's obvious that you'd be closer to your chapter members, but I can't imagine treating other brothers differently from chapter brothers.

Is this a common mentality? And why join a national organization if you didn't want the "national brotherhood?"

(Please don't take this as an attack -- just curious about this. Not saying one way is wrong or right, just different)

/hi-jack

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Unbelievable. EW, your fraternity is way bigger than your old-money-obsessed farce of brotherhood.

Wrong. Absolutely wrong. My fraternity is my chapter. Just because they have participated in the same ritual I have and worn similar dress during closed meetings does not instantly make them my brother. That makes them a member of a large association of men. Participating in pledgeship and often five to six years of living together, and everything that we've experienced together make them friends.

You know absolutely nothing about my "brotherhood". To make some sort of accusation is the farce. You accuse my brotherhood regarding people I have never known before.

I have no doubt that there are Sigma Kappas and Sigma Kappa chapters who are very different from my chapter and me, but I would treat every one of my sisters that I am lucky enough to meet with the utmost respect.

That's fine. I am always respectful to any other member of the association I meet until they give me a reason not to.

ETA: Now I see what kind of "different" you are referring to. If you are so different, why do they want to hang out with your chapter?

I doubt he knows why. Some just want to party. Some like seeing other houses and visiting other fraternities. Most are annoying.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by macallan25

What an irrational, complete bullshit, unfounded statement. Are you kidding me? Total garbage. Pretty big talk from someone who, I'm pretty sure, has absolutely no clue who the guy is. I am sure that EW, like myself, has a very strong sense of brotherhood towards his own chapter. I am sure that his bonds with his pledge brothers and the guys who led him through pledgeship are as strong as any of ours.

You have absolutely no right to question his sense of brotherhood because he, like many of us, doesn't consider their ties to hundreds of thousands of men whom we will never know, meet, or see as strong as the individuals whom we have built friendships and bonds with that will last for the rest of our lives.

Like I said, I observe the fact that men from outside chapters are my "brothers" in the fact that we share the same rituals, oaths, etc. to our fraternity. That doesn't mean I have to treat everyone of them like my immediate family.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself. "Farce of brotherhood"........give me a f**king break.

Sorry, I just can't fathom how a group of men could understand what it means to be brothers in a national fraternity when a basis for membership is the amount of money a potential member is perceived to have. I interpreted EW's comment as him thinking his chapter was superior to other chapters of his fraternity.

Originally Posted by macallan25

That's great. At what point did he or any of us say that we wouldn't treat people with respect? I said it multiple times. There is a huge difference between being respectful and courteous to someone and treating them like they've been in your life everyday since you've been in college.

Of course you'll be closer with members of your chapter +/- 3 years from you, but again, I interpreted EW as thinking his chapter is superior to the (inter)national fraternity or that his loyalty is only to his chapter and not his (inter)national fraternity.

Originally Posted by macallan25

Yes they should. We don't know these people. They could walk in side and shoot someone for all I know.

Ok, I suppose this COULD happen, but whether they just walked in or gave you a month's notice wouldn't really matter if that were an individual/group's intent? I wouldn't lose sleep over worrying that my sisters from another chapter would come to my house and shoot sisters from my chapter.

Originally Posted by macallan25

How is he supposed to know answer this? Probably because they are in the same fraternity and know that they can't go to any other houses? I mean, is that not right?

Just asking for him to speculate if he has any ideas. If the other chapter comes back, they must find something they enjoy about hanging out with SEC's chapter.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

Wrong. Absolutely wrong. My fraternity is my chapter. Just because they have participated in the same ritual I have and worn similar dress during closed meetings does not instantly make them my brother. That makes them a member of a large association of men. Participating in pledgeship and often five to six years of living together, and everything that we've experienced together make them friends.

You know absolutely nothing about my "brotherhood". To make some sort of accusation is the farce. You accuse my brotherhood regarding people I have never known before.


That's fine. I am always respectful to any other member of the association I meet until they give me a reason not to.

I rest my case.

[KSUViolet06]

My chapter never minded having visitors from other chapters, but they were never allowed to stay over at the chapter house--unless they were guests of a sister and cleared by our Housing Corp in advance. So you couldn't just show up and be like "Hi, were from XY chapter and we wanna party here this weekend! Is it cool if we crash?"

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Sorry, I just can't fathom how a group of men could understand what it means to be brothers in a national fraternity when a basis for membership is the amount of money a potential member is perceived to have. I interpreted EW's comment as him thinking his chapter was superior to other chapters of his fraternity.

Can you point me in the direction of where ElephantWalk made any kind of statement that comes even remotely within the realm of what you just said? I haven't seen it.

Your interpretation was wrong. I'm sorry. I don't really even care if it's an opinion....it just isn't right.

Of course you'll be closer with members of your chapter +/- 3 years from you, but again, I interpreted EW as thinking his chapter is superior to the (inter)national fraternity or that his loyalty is only to his chapter and not his (inter)national fraternity.

I didn't gather that from his statements. What I gathered from it was that he is pretty cautious towards complete strangers who happen to be in his same fraternity that come by his house and visit. Obviously he has had some experience with some out of town members who acted like complete, classless trash.

I'm pretty sure he stated plain as day that he has had visiting members at his house during game days.......and had an absolute blast. But I guess that really means he hated them all and didn't think they were good enough for him and his chapter brothers because they don't have as much money as all of them.

Ok, I suppose this COULD happen, but whether they just walked in or gave you a month's notice wouldn't really matter if that were an individual/group's intent? I wouldn't lose sleep over worrying that my sisters from another chapter would come to my house and shoot sisters from my chapter.

That's your prerogative. I, on the other hand, feel a responsibility towards my chapter to observe some discretion when dealing with a group of, once again, complete strangers.

Just asking for him to speculate if he has any ideas. If the other chapter comes back, they must find something they enjoy about hanging out with SEC's chapter.

That would make sense.

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

I rest my case.

I'm searching for this "case" you speak of. So far all I've seen you do is trash a man's sense of brotherhood.