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  #1  
Old 08-15-2012, 12:39 PM
Lovethesand Lovethesand is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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A Bedlam Recruitment

The weather in lovely Oklahoma was stifling, sauna like, hot as you know what during recruitment. My overheated mind started wandering to cooler weather and the ocean breeze. I remembered growing up near the beach, wearing a bikini in public (the thought of that now - horror!), the sand between my toes, the ocean breeze, the warmth of the sun. And not the sun that could fry an egg on the sidewalk. With those fuzzy memories buzzing around my head, I felt a beach themed recruitment story (and maybe a stiff drink or two) was just what an empty nester mom needed.

A little background on my snowflake Debbie: a solid student who met the minimum GPA for Panhellenic but not a 3.5; a very good athlete (varsity, competitive travel sports), leadership roles in student body, and involved in extracurricular activities, no history of Greek affiliations in her family, and OOS (not one of the surrounding states). Debbie had no preconceived notions about any houses and was the epitome of an open mind. At some times I think her mind was a blank slate and I'm not sure if that was good or bad.

I've been reading GC for a few months and realize recs are necessary even if the school’s Greek Life said they weren’t. Why do they say that? I digress. So my Debbie has recs for every house, her social media's been cleaned up and private for months, her outfits are ready, and she's as ready as she can be.

Debbie's school doesn't make the Super Competitive thread list. Supposedly it's not even the most competitive recruitment in the state. Looking back, it definitely felt competitive to Debbie (and me vicariously). The dictionary defines bedlam as a place or situation of noisy uproar and confusion. Yep, that would be Debbie's recruitment at times.

So Bedlam Recruitment starts right after I say goodbye. Let me tell you she was a rock while I was a marshmallow. I really wanted to be strong for her but I failed miserably as I said goodbye to my one and only. She gave me a hug, had some tears in her eyes, told me she loved me, and walked away. I got into the rental car, drove to the local Super Wal-mart to return some items, and bawled like a baby in the parking lot. I apologize to the young man helping me with my return who had to deal with a very emotional 40+ year old woman. Not one of my better days.
  #2  
Old 08-15-2012, 12:56 PM
gee_ess gee_ess is offline
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YAY! Keep going!
  #3  
Old 08-15-2012, 01:04 PM
Lovethesand Lovethesand is offline
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Back to recruitment and away from my mini-parking lot meltdown. There are 12 houses at Debbie’s school and following my love of the beach, they’re as follows:

Siesta Beach
Coronado Beach
Zuma Beach
Myrtle Beach
Big Beach
Newport Beach
Cancun
South Beach
Sunset Beach
Manhattan Beach
Hampton Beach
Malibu Beach
  #4  
Old 08-15-2012, 01:16 PM
Lovethesand Lovethesand is offline
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Day 1 - Open Houses (4 Houses)

Visits started late in the day and after her Gamma Chi meeting, Day 1 ended around 10:30 pm. Debbie was hot, tired, and more tired. Debbie seemed a little overwhelmed by Day 1 and said she wasn't sure what to expect and it was "different". She said she liked all of the houses, everybody was nice, and no one house stood out in her mind except one.

Newport – the house was very pretty, and she talked to 4 girls. The first girl kept looking over her shoulder so it was a distracted conversation which made Debbie feel uncomfortable. The conversation with the other 3 girls was much smoother and interactive.

Siesta Beach – The Recruitment Coordinator was a little dry compared to the other 3 houses. Debbie talked to two girls and really liked them a lot. She said the conversation was easy and she felt the girls really listened to her. Debbie felt the most comfortable talking to these girls out of the 4 today.

Coronado – Debbie said the girls were nice, nothing good, nothing bad. Couldn’t really remember them to be honest.

Myrtle – Debbie said this house would not be one of her top 9 no matter what. She had an embarrassing experience and said she could never go back there and feel comfortable (picture the drama of a 17 year old as this is being said).
  #5  
Old 08-15-2012, 01:30 PM
Lovethesand Lovethesand is offline
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Day 2 - Open Houses cont (8 Houses)

Day 2 started with a 7:15 am meeting with her Gamma Chi and group. Then off to the houses.

After a long day, Debbie texted me at 11:00 pm to say she was done for the day. After a shower, she called me and we ran through the houses. She was too tired to get her notebook so she tried to remember off the top of her head. She said all the girls were friendly and engaging.

Zuma – I didn’t get a lot of details about this house. That's what happens when you talk to them late in the date and they're tired.

Big Beach – Her best friend’s family wrote her a rec for this house, she loved their philanthropy and wanted to like them. She said the conversation was awkward and she left thinking “no, not this one”.

Cancun – Similar to Zuma, not a lot of details.

South Beach – This is a new chapter that was using one of the fraternity’s houses during recruitment. She liked the girls and said how nice they were. I wasn't sure if she'd consider the lack of house or newness a negative and she didn't.

Sunset – The girls were very friendly and she enjoyed them a lot.

Manhattan – The girls were great conversationalists. She also heard tent talk about this house – they were super smart, very religious, non-partiers. She liked the girls but hearing tent talk about them made her wonder if she’d fit in and not because she's a partier. I'm sure she heard tent talk about the other houses but this is the first house she mentioned tent talk.

Hampton – Debbie initially didn’t remember them and when I asked she said, “Oh, I liked them”. So they didn’t stand out in a negative way to her.

Malibu – A close family friend is an alumna but again not a lot of details.

One nice thing about not being a legacy, being OOS, Debbie has no preconceived notions about any houses. Debbie said she didn’t have any favorites. No houses really separated themselves in her mind. She was still a blank slate. Debbie clustered her top 9 for the next round:

Siesta Beach
Coronado
Zuma
Newport
Cancun
South Beach
Sunset
Manhattan
Hampton
Malibu

Bottom 3:

Myrtle – for the reason mentioned above on Day 1
Big Beach – Debbie said the conversation was just so awkward
Manhattan – she didn’t want to be the dumbest girl in the smartest group

Each PNM can receive a maximum of 9 visits for Round 2. Debbie wasn’t expecting 9 and was hoping for 5 or 6.
  #6  
Old 08-15-2012, 01:39 PM
TriDeltaSallie TriDeltaSallie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovethesand View Post
Manhattan – she didn’t want to be the dumbest girl in the smartest group
LOL! I think that's the first time I've read that reason on GC.

And my only is a daughter so I can imagine how you felt when you dropped her off...
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My recruitment story: My sorority membership changed my life.
  #7  
Old 08-15-2012, 01:12 PM
ProudandTrue ProudandTrue is offline
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On the edge of my seat.
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Phi Sigma Sigma...Aiming High since 1913.
  #8  
Old 08-15-2012, 03:14 PM
shirley1929 shirley1929 is offline
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LOVING this story!
  #9  
Old 08-15-2012, 04:00 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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ackkkkkkk.........need.......more.........updates. .........
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  #10  
Old 08-15-2012, 04:09 PM
Tulip86 Tulip86 is offline
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Great story!
  #11  
Old 08-15-2012, 04:22 PM
Lovethesand Lovethesand is offline
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Day 4 - House Tours/Philanthropy (cont.)

Debbie's 3 remaining houses (out of a possible 9) for Round 2 are today.

Up first:

Sunset - Debbie enjoyed her visit, enjoyed meeting the girls, and felt very comfortable. For some reason she thought they might cut her (maybe tent talk, they had one of the highest GPAs of her remaining houses). Didn't want to think negative thoughts so I didn't push the issue.

Coronado – Debbie loved these girls which was funny because she couldn’t remember them at all from Round 1. Their philanthropy has personal meaning for her. She felt like she clicked with the girls, like interests. I could hear the excitement in her voice talking about these girls. Finally something that felt warm and fuzzy, in a good way.

South Beach – Debbie continued to like the girls she met, saw the house plans (the house is going to be gorgeous), and seemed to be positive about South Beach. Another plus.

So another round ends, more clustering, down to 6 for Skit Day. In Debbie's case it was about keeping all 4 even Big Beach and hoping it gets better with them. Debbie says she still doesn’t have any clear cut favorites although she likes Coronado. The only one she’s ehh (think teen-age shoulder shrug) about is Big Beach. But she clusters all 4 and hopes for the best. She’s all about maximizing her options right now. Dark Side mom thinks if she can keep most of her houses maybe by Pref she'll be ok numbers wise.

Last edited by Lovethesand; 08-15-2012 at 04:24 PM.
  #12  
Old 08-15-2012, 04:49 PM
Lovethesand Lovethesand is offline
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Day 5 – Skit Day

I don’t hear from Debbie until later in the day which is good news. I’ve figured out the later I hear from her, the busier her schedule is, the better the news. I get an email later in the day during a break in her schedule. How crazy am I now? I have my fingers crossed as I open the email. If I had a rabbit’s foot, a lucky penny, a four leaf clover, you name it, I would have had it. Debbie has 3 houses! We/she are batting .500 now (3 out of a possible 6 houses in this round). Debbie is disappointed Sunset cut her because they were her #1 (I ask myself since when? First I’ve heard of it.) I don’t say anything because I know my parental commentary will not be appreciated at all. All I say is 3 houses is very good and to enjoy.

Coronado – They’ve pulled into the pole position after 4 days and she loves them. She absolutely loves this house and can see herself there. She hopes she doesn’t get cut. I hope she doesn’t either, not because I'm leaning toward Coronado but just because I want my baby to be happy and hasn't she been rejected enough? Honestly. Again all of these dark thoughts are kept to myself. Pollyanna is my first, middle, and last name when talking to Debbie.

South Beach – Debbie liked the girls. She said they’re warm and friendly and she feels relaxed. I remind her of the positives of a new chapter on campus, a new house, and new opportunities.

Big Beach – Debbie loves their philanthropy so she’s going to keep an open mind but she’s just not feeling it like Coronado or South Beach.

The day ends with Debbie clustering her top 3 or in Debbie’s case her remaining 3. Debbie again maximizes her options but she voices concern about South Beach and Big Beach. She loves Coronado so much she’s not sure if she can see herself at either South Beach or Big Beach. I don’t want to rain on her parade but I also want her to keep an open mind. Not sure how successful I am. She’s blinded by Coronado love. I think to myself, “Great she’s found a house she loves but it’s not like her recruitment as been a bed of roses, unless thorns count”.

As a sidenote: Debbie as you know is my one and only. She and I are very close. We talk about everything pretty honestly. I've really had to bite my tongue during this process because my parental advise isn't what she wants. She just wants a sounding board that is unjudgmental and supportive. There's a fine line between supportive and "you're just saying that because you're my mom". I've quickly learned that. By the time she and I can really talk she's already made her decisions about clustering so she's not asking for my advice. She just wants a voice from home. Even though I seem to have become a completely different woman, I get that. I've really learned to think quickly though when Debbie calls. I never know what to expect so my first response better be good. So much pressure for a caffeine hyped, sleep deprived 40+ year old woman.
  #13  
Old 08-15-2012, 04:51 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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Now I'm getting nervous!
  #14  
Old 08-15-2012, 05:04 PM
Lovethesand Lovethesand is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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A few bits and pieces

Debbie's school sends out an email at the end of every day to the parents to tell us about the day and what's scheduled for the next day. After noon every day my time I am checking my smart phone every minute, hitting F5 on my computer, waiting for the email. It's my little lifeline to something, anything.

My smartphone has become my best friend. I keep it on constantly and usually I turn it off at the end of the day. Not during recruitment. Something might happen during the night. Something might happen early in the morning. My Debbie may need me.

I visit GreekChat first thing in the morning. I keep it open throughout the day, hitting F5 hoping for new Bedlam news. Maybe somebody in the know will know something and share it. It's the last site I look at before I try to go to sleep.

I am becoming obsessed.
  #15  
Old 08-15-2012, 04:34 PM
BeenTooLong BeenTooLong is offline
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SOOO glad you are writing this! Lots of girls get these kind of cuts, but there are very few threads on here that chronicle the imperfect recruitment experience. I wish I could have read something like this before my daughter went through with low-end of acceptable GPA and OOS! (and had her read it!)
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