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  #1  
Old 03-05-2015, 11:48 PM
Jd24 Jd24 is offline
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Exclamation Advise NEEDED unhappy with chapter placement

I have had the worst luck with recruitment. I am currently a junior had did formal recruitment three times!
The first time i got into a sorority with a good rep however didnt feel like i 100% fit. So there was a part of me that wanted to try again to get a better fit and a large part of it was the fact that my boyfriend at the time hated it (threatened to break up with me over it) so i ended up dropping the bid after one day. I did formal again the following year and was prefed by an okay sorority however was never offered a bit. Soooo my junior year i forced myself to go through the process again. This time i was dropped before pref by the two chapters who kept asking me back the previous years, either which i would of been okay with. However both dropped me and i ended up with a bid from a chapter that doesnt have a good rep. I dont mean to sound superficial (im sure ill get hate for this) but everyone strives to be in the "top" sorority and this chapter is second to bottom. Needless to say im devastated.
This was my last chance to save my college experience that has yet to live up to the hype. (Havent made many friends) My school is very big in greek life and i just wish i could say that im proud of the chapter im in. Everytime i see my chapter im reminded of what other chapters i wish i was in. Its a huge regret the haunts me, i wish more than anything i could go back and stop myself from dropping the bid freshman year. Now that im a junior i have no hope to changing the outcome. I keep going back in time thinking about what i should of done, if i should of dropped before pref and hoped for a snapbid.
Ive been a new member for two weeks now and still unhappy with the chapter. I dont want to be embarrassed to wear my letters. I wish i could flaunt them and be proud of where i am. Every girl i talk to in the chapter all say that it wasnt their first choice so i know im not alone. Alot of the girls who ended up with this chapters bid ended up dropping.
Im also planning on going to graduate school after but i dont think that gives me any more hope to join another chapter. (Ive always wanted to live in a chapter house too)
So i guess im seeking advise, or anything thatll make me feel better and not disappointed where i ended up, or any possibility of hope???
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  #2  
Old 03-05-2015, 11:51 PM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jd24 View Post
I have had the worst luck with recruitment. I am currently a junior had did formal recruitment three times!
The first time i got into a sorority with a good rep however didnt feel like i 100% fit. So there was a part of me that wanted to try again to get a better fit and a large part of it was the fact that my boyfriend at the time hated it (threatened to break up with me over it) so i ended up dropping the bid after one day. I did formal again the following year and was prefed by an okay sorority however was never offered a bit. Soooo my junior year i forced myself to go through the process again. This time i was dropped before pref by the two chapters who kept asking me back the previous years, either which i would of been okay with. However both dropped me and i ended up with a bid from a chapter that doesnt have a good rep. I dont mean to sound superficial (im sure ill get hate for this) but everyone strives to be in the "top" sorority and this chapter is second to bottom. Needless to say im devastated.
This was my last chance to save my college experience that has yet to live up to the hype. (Havent made many friends) My school is very big in greek life and i just wish i could say that im proud of the chapter im in. Everytime i see my chapter im reminded of what other chapters i wish i was in. Its a huge regret the haunts me, i wish more than anything i could go back and stop myself from dropping the bid freshman year. Now that im a junior i have no hope to changing the outcome. I keep going back in time thinking about what i should of done, if i should of dropped before pref and hoped for a snapbid.
Ive been a new member for two weeks now and still unhappy with the chapter. I dont want to be embarrassed to wear my letters. I wish i could flaunt them and be proud of where i am. Every girl i talk to in the chapter all say that it wasnt their first choice so i know im not alone. Alot of the girls who ended up with this chapters bid ended up dropping.
Im also planning on going to graduate school after but i dont think that gives me any more hope to join another chapter. (Ive always wanted to live in a chapter house too)
So i guess im seeking advise, or anything thatll make me feel better and not disappointed where i ended up, or any possibility of hope???
QFP
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  #3  
Old 03-06-2015, 12:10 AM
Jd24 Jd24 is offline
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Whats QFP
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  #4  
Old 03-06-2015, 02:36 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Quoted for posterity.

You are unbelievably lucky that you got a bid from ANY chapter this time around. This is your last chance to be Greek, period. Only you can know whether you want to be-

Oh, no, wait. Screw that. Please depledge now. I mean, this second now. If as a junior who has had two years to observe the Greek system you honestly still believe things like "everyone strives to be in the top sorority" and you are that ungrateful to a chapter who gave you a bid your third time through, I don't think a sorority is for you. I'm sorry you made a bad choice because of a guy, believe me I understand that, but it doesn't seem that you've grown or matured at all since then.

Also, please acquaint yourself with the apostrophe.
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  #5  
Old 03-06-2015, 04:04 AM
als463 als463 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jd24 View Post
I have had the worst luck with recruitment. I am currently a junior had did formal recruitment three times!
The first time i got into a sorority with a good rep however didnt feel like i 100% fit. So there was a part of me that wanted to try again to get a better fit and a large part of it was the fact that my boyfriend at the time hated it (threatened to break up with me over it) so i ended up dropping the bid after one day. I did formal again the following year and was prefed by an okay sorority however was never offered a bit. Soooo my junior year i forced myself to go through the process again. This time i was dropped before pref by the two chapters who kept asking me back the previous years, either which i would of been okay with. However both dropped me and i ended up with a bid from a chapter that doesnt have a good rep. I dont mean to sound superficial (im sure ill get hate for this) but everyone strives to be in the "top" sorority and this chapter is second to bottom. Needless to say im devastated.
This was my last chance to save my college experience that has yet to live up to the hype. (Havent made many friends) My school is very big in greek life and i just wish i could say that im proud of the chapter im in. Everytime i see my chapter im reminded of what other chapters i wish i was in. Its a huge regret the haunts me, i wish more than anything i could go back and stop myself from dropping the bid freshman year. Now that im a junior i have no hope to changing the outcome. I keep going back in time thinking about what i should of done, if i should of dropped before pref and hoped for a snapbid.
Ive been a new member for two weeks now and still unhappy with the chapter. I dont want to be embarrassed to wear my letters. I wish i could flaunt them and be proud of where i am. Every girl i talk to in the chapter all say that it wasnt their first choice so i know im not alone. Alot of the girls who ended up with this chapters bid ended up dropping.
Im also planning on going to graduate school after but i dont think that gives me any more hope to join another chapter. (Ive always wanted to live in a chapter house too)
So i guess im seeking advise, or anything thatll make me feel better and not disappointed where i ended up, or any possibility of hope???
First, you sound really ungrateful and you should just drop. Please stop wasting everyone's time. The things I put in bold in pink are things I think need to be addressed. So, first you went through and got a bid to a sorority with a "good reputation" but, then you dropped it because you weren't feeling 100% with it. You went through a second time but, then didn't get a bid. You didn't get a bid any where? The third time, you went through and received a bid from what you believe to be a sorority chapter that is beneath you. You say all this but, you noted that your college hype hasn't lived up to what you hoped because (your words, not mine) you "Havent made many friends." Maybe you haven't made many friends because you go around acting like you are above other people in the different sororities.

For starters, after seeing that you can't differentiate between advice and advise, don't capitalize your "I" when speaking about yourself, and don't know how to use apostrophes, it makes me think that you probably got dropped from the various houses for reasons other than your poor attitude. All of this makes me hope that you are not attending any of my alma maters or are a member of my organization. In fact, I don't think any of my NPC sisters should have to call someone so ungrateful their sister. If you, as a junior, are too good for this house because they are second to bottom then you should just quit. You talk about wanting to go to graduate school too. Worry about your grades and improving your writing before looking to apply. Another thing is that once you get to graduate school, no one cared if you were the "top" or the "bottom" sorority. I've met women from the "bottom" sorority on their campus and you would never know because they are smart, beautiful, and the types of women I'd be proud to call sisters. It sounds like you have some growing up to do.
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  #6  
Old 03-06-2015, 07:36 AM
KDCat KDCat is offline
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The problem is you, not any of the chapters who have been kind enough to invite you to join. You should probably see a counselor to talk about why you have a hard time making friends and why you are never satisfied with what you are offered.

Every single group has something positive about it. You should focus on the positives and not the negatives.
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  #7  
Old 03-06-2015, 08:21 AM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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Sounds like depression combined with Unicorns Pooping Rainbows syndrome.
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  #8  
Old 03-06-2015, 09:23 AM
Jd24 Jd24 is offline
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First of all, i didnt know i was submitting a paper. So what if i have grammar mistakes, its not that serious. If your judge intelligence off of an online post than maybe you should be the one being criticized.
Also i recognize i come off superficial however if you knew me im really not. This is the few times where i care about the reputation. You are who you surround yourself with. I think i have a good reason to. Its no lie that people make split judgements about others, therefor your letters become apart of ypur identity.
The recruitment process itself is only based off judgments. With a system like that it is unnecessary to give me the third degree in the subject when it is the systems underlying fundamentals.
To those who posted, im sure you would have a different perspective if you went to my college and went through the whole process. For all i know none of you have been in the bottom chapter or had been rejected from your top picks. If i was so horrible than why do the majority of the people drop out the first time in recruitment and rush again? Why did so many of the girls who got bid in the chapter drop out? Dont make me look like such a horrible person when im not the only one with the same thought process.
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  #9  
Old 03-06-2015, 09:27 AM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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The last time I suggested that someone talk to a professional about some issues, the dude went nuclear. Which (his reaction) told me that I was correct. I believe in the value and power of therapy/counseling/what have you. Face to face. Spend the $ and the time, do the work, and reap the rewards.

That said, I do not think that you should be asking us what to do. It's obvious to me that you are uncomfortable in your own skin, because you're seeking advice from strangers, and that seems to be your pattern - "what do others think?" Instead of knowing what you think, and want; the consequence is that you're never going to be satisfied, much less happy, and you will always have someone to blame (the boyfriend, GreekChat, etc).

You've kind of sort of stepped in it big time - THREE times going through recruitment, TWO bids, and you're still unhappy. Happiness is an inside job, so re-read my first paragraph. And my second paragraph. You already know what you are going to do, just do it, then move forward.
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  #10  
Old 03-06-2015, 09:48 AM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Originally Posted by Jd24 View Post
First of all, i didnt know i was submitting a paper. So what if i have grammar mistakes, its not that serious. If your judge intelligence off of an online post than maybe you should be the one being criticized.
Also i recognize i come off superficial however if you knew me im really not. This is the few times where i care about the reputation. You are who you surround yourself with. I think i have a good reason to. Its no lie that people make split judgements about others, therefor your letters become apart of ypur identity.
The recruitment process itself is only based off judgments. With a system like that it is unnecessary to give me the third degree in the subject when it is the systems underlying fundamentals.
To those who posted, im sure you would have a different perspective if you went to my college and went through the whole process. For all i know none of you have been in the bottom chapter or had been rejected from your top picks. If i was so horrible than why do the majority of the people drop out the first time in recruitment and rush again? Why did so many of the girls who got bid in the chapter drop out? Dont make me look like such a horrible person when im not the only one with the same thought process.
You really, really, really need to pledge the library. Your written language skills are wretched. Your reasoning is spotty at best. And don't give me any lip about "it's not that serious" because it is, in fact, that serious.

The way it stands right now, you come across as a defensive person who blames others, so improving your writing might change that perception.

FWIW I am not going to discuss my recruitment with you ex post facto. It isn't important, because it was my experience, not yours. Besides you would be really miserable if you knew my story, instead of being happy for me. You're continuing to compare your insides with everyone's outsides, which is a guaranteed recipe for misery and self-pity.

You think these words are harsh, when in fact they are not - they are me holding up a mirror to you.
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  #11  
Old 03-06-2015, 09:50 AM
Jd24 Jd24 is offline
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Honey, you dont know me, dont offer services to someone youve never met.
I made a mistake before as you can see from my obvious regret. I have always dreamed of being in a chapter than never asked me back so i was holding out for the potential of my hope to come true. There is nothing wrong with having a desired chapter, i know what i wanted and i tried to reach it however ended up completely backfiring. So i am not uncomfortable in my own skin, i know where i would like to be and i was hopeful i would get there some day. And im not blaming greekchat lol.
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  #12  
Old 03-06-2015, 09:52 AM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Originally Posted by Jd24 View Post
Honey, you dont know me, dont offer services to someone youve never met.
I made a mistake before as you can see from my obvious regret. I have always dreamed of being in a chapter than never asked me back so i was holding out for the potential of my hope to come true. There is nothing wrong with having a desired chapter, i know what i wanted and i tried to reach it however ended up completely backfiring. So i am not uncomfortable in my own skin, i know where i would like to be and i was hopeful i would get there some day. And im not blaming greekchat lol.
Oh "honey" are you not the precious one?

*yawn* not wasting any more of my time on the likes of you. Feel sorry for the chapter you're in now. I think you need to resign and then definitely go the alumnae initiation route, since you're all over GC asking about that now.
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  #13  
Old 03-06-2015, 10:12 AM
amanda6035 amanda6035 is offline
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Originally Posted by Jd24 View Post
Honey, you dont know me, dont offer services to someone youve never met.
honey..... wow....

Guess what sweetie? We're in sororities. We made it. We figured out how to be happy. Suck it up, buttercup, and put your big girl panties on. You don't deserve that chapter. Better hope one of these meanies on here doesn't figure out who you are and clues your school and your chapter in before you figure out that you want to be grateful for the opportunity you have.
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  #14  
Old 03-06-2015, 10:19 AM
DeltaBetaBaby DeltaBetaBaby is offline
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If you read the threads around here, you will see that MANY people had less-than-perfect recruitment experiences, and GCers give the same advice every time: make the best of it, stop comparing yourself to others, think of the lifelong benefits, etc.

You will also see that many women grow to absolutely love chapters that were not their first choices.

I don't know what else you want us to say.
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  #15  
Old 03-06-2015, 10:20 AM
Jd24 Jd24 is offline
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Says the girl from axid, one of the top chapters nationwide
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