Key Sisters

[kappagirl00]

Hey everyone~

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Kappa is the only (or at least one of a tiny number) of sororities that assigns key sisters on Bid Day without a revelation. What do you guys think of this? Do you think it's better than having a Revelation, or do you wish it was done "the old way?" It's an issue I keep going back and forth on.

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Forever a KKG
"Nobody knows how happy I am!"

[kappagirl00]

WOW! As of my last post I'm FINALLY a senior member! and it only took me, uh, 7 months

Sorry, had to share

[Liv]

In reply to the key sisters thing on bid day, I think it's a good idea, but I still think there should be a big lil sis find out, later on. I pledged Kappa this year, and I definitely was dissapointed that we just found out who are kore family members were on bid day and that they were arranged randomly. Finding out who my big sister was b/c they chose me and I chose them would have been much more exciting. Don't get me wrong, the kore fam thing was still fun, but not as personal as I would have liked.

[KellyTheKappa]

hi everyone,
I'm the New Member Educator for Rho chapter, and I've had to deal with a lot of dislike for the Key & Sapphire system, most specifically, assigning Keys, sapphires and Kores right before bid night. To be perfectly honest, we tweaked it a little bit (legally though -- the president, house advisor and TC said it was fine :-)) so that they received their Key Sisters a bit later. (If any Kappa wants to hear about it, feel free to e-mail me at KMD987@aol.com.) I was very determined to do this because when I was a New Member, my Key sister was assigned to me because she never had one before. I am a very enthusiastic, energetic person, and she was very quiet and, well, ready to graduate and leave Kappa behind. She was very nice, but we had little or no relationship and she didn't really help me foster my relationship with Kappa. Thankfully, another chapter member kind of "filled in" and spoiled me with "Welcome to KKG" posters, poems, notes in my mailbox and the like. However, some of my other pledge sisters were not as lucky. I truly love Kappa and I'm very loyal, but I think the traditional Big/Little program was pulled for the wrong reasons. As I understand, there is a task force at Nationals that is discussing right now if they should reinstall the Big/Little things. Okay, whew, what a posting! Thanks all.
~Kelly

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Kappa Kappa Gamma...
It's not what you've just become, it's what you've always been.

[paulaKKG]

Hello ladies.

I'm a recent alum and I had the experience of seeing Kappa transition from the big/little program to the Kore program.

The Big/Little system had flaws. The family system was nice but some families got to be huge (20 people) while others were tiny (2). Families also started to become too similar - for example, associated with a fraternity that the sisters in that family all hung out with. Second, if you got matched with a bad big, what should be a great experience might be one that makes you doubt kappa and greek life.

I think the Kore system is flawed a little too. On one hand, in the Kore system I got to form relationships with many different Kappa's. Second, it essentially gives new members 3 "bigs", and a base with which to found relationships with other sisters.

But matching on bid night can be a disaster. The first year our chapter followed this to the letter and naturally made a few bad matches. We had 3 NMs depledge, and nearly more because of bad matches. This was a particularily big problem for our house because there is a very small greek community on our campus and our house attracts many independant women who wouldn't normally consider themselves the "sorority" type. For this, we needed a strong bond more than ever.

Our house now waits 4 days to match, and we still do a "revealation." Except instead of revealing the big, we reveal the "Kore." Headquarters is aware of our approach and doesn't seem to mind - in fact, our TCs have all really liked it. We still try to keep it close because the New Member period is so short, it really does help to hurry up and pair the NM with her mentor.

I think the key to it is - do what makes sense. The intent of the Kore system is good. If it makes sense to modify it in oder to match that intent in your own chapter, then so be it.

[kappagirl00]

As the starter of this thread, I guess I should put my opinion.

I can really only speak for my pledge class at my chapter, but in our case the random matches were less than successful. Really active new members were paired with indifferent bigs and vice versa. Luckily, everyone had someone in their Kore that they could relate to. But as you all know, the key sis is a very special part of the Kore fam that's pretty hard to replace, and a lot of girls (myself included) felt kind of cheated. Much like KellyTheKappa, I was "adopted" so to speak. And I wish more than anything else that that girl could have been my key sis or at least in my kore. Even though I was initiated months ago, I wish she could be my big just because no one deserves the title more than her (she never got an official little) Especially because I was one of the victims of a bad match.

I'm sure that the intentions behind the changes in the New Member Program are very good. But on a largely Greek campus where we are exposed to what the other sororities do, it's hard to watch all the fun revealing-related activities that the other groups do, things that aren't allowed for us. You can't help but feel a little left out.

ps what exactly is a Sapphire again?

[KappaPrincessASU]

Hi all!

First off, let me say what a great place this is

Here's my theory on Kore families. While I think that in theory the idea may have been a great one, in practice it doesn't work. Here's some reasons why...but remember that these are just my opinions
1. They can be mis-sized. I mean that some are big, and some are tiny, all depending on graduations and resignation etc. Then, when some get too tiny, they merge with another tiny one, and there may not be anything (other than sisterhood, of course) in common, thus keeping a seperation between the 2 parts of the family.
2. Kores seem to be rather randomly picked. I only knew one of my "bigs" and that was only because her boyfriend was my crush's big bro. I hadn't even seen the othr girls (minus my pledge sis and one other) ever. So when we got placed into our families...it seemed as if we were being persuaded to be superclose to girls that we didn't know...and as it turned out had almost nothing in common with.
3. There is a big age difference between sisters. Now, this is an observation from my family, but there are 4 seniors (who've just graduated, including my mentor), 1 junior and 2 new members (myself included in this). So my family just went reduced by more than half. Also, because the mentors for myself and my pledge sis were both seniors, we only got to know them for a year, and because of the age difference we never really got to know them at all.
4. Coordinating plans with one or two friends can be tedious, and getting together with 7 (as in my family) was impossible. Even for our Initiation dinner, there were only 4 of us present, two of whom were new members. It seems as if the 1-on-1 aspect is totally missing.
When I see my girlfriends in Theta hanging out with their lil/big, I wish that I had that bond. I would like to see the big/lil (mom/dot, whatever they were called) system reimplemented because I feel that it would bring Kappa closer together, in my opinion And remember, it's only that!
Wow...that was a lot longer than I had planned- sorry for that! Ok, please respond and tell me that you think- if I'm nuts tell me!

Loyally,
Beth

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What I want is what I've not got; but what I need is all around me

[curlygirly]

Hello! I'm a Kappa NM this semester. I was so confused as to this whole big/lil system until I read all of your posts. I keep hearing from girls in other sororities how they have their big/lil revelation...and how they get to suggest who they want as their big. They actually get to know some of the girls better before getting paired.

My big was my "bid day buddy"...and she's a wonderful girl...but I don't know much about her. I just know where she's from and that she lives in the house. I rarely get to see her because of our schedules...and it's just kinda impersonal.

I was actually kinda upset because this Saturday was my birthday, and I didn't get a birthday table. She did know it was my bday, b/c she called me. I went home for the weekend, but I didn't get anything before or after the weekend. I don't want to sound like a brat...but it's just that I keep hearing everyone say "it's fun to be a NM...you get showered with gifts!"...but sometimes I don't feel like that.

It seems to me like all the girls that I've been paired up with are just doing it b/c they're forced. Like I got a frame with decorations that you could tell were done at the last minute. Or I'd always get my secret messages days after I was supposed to be getting them. I didn't even meet my sapphire sister! I know her name...and I got my decorated mug...but I've never met her personally. And with my owl pal and fleur-de-lis friend...I met them on bid day, so I knew their names...but once I got their card revealing who they were...it wasn't a big deal. We sat at dinner together and nothing was brought up.

I just feel like I'm getting gipped (sp?) out of an awesome new member experience!!! When I met with standards, they asked me how I could improve it...but I said nothing! I don't know what a NM period is supposed to be like...so I didn't suggest anything. After reading a few of these posts, I wish I had said something.

Anyway, I'm slowly meeting the girls in my class and the older sisters...but it seems to be taking a bit longer b/c of the lack of real "bonds" in those matchups.