but i'm not a...

veemers · #1 12-14-2003, 03:35 PM

So, I have this new boyfriend, and I thought it would be really great to introduce him to some of my friends. He came to visit me, and I took him around campus. After that weekend, I was hanging out with my friend Jo in her room, and we started talking about Steve. All of a sudden Jo says, “Vanessa, I’m worried about you. You only date white men. Are you sure you aren’t racist? You really need to date all different types of men.” At first I brushed her comment off as nothing, but then later I started to wonder.

What if I AM racist? I’ve always thought of myself as an open, caring individual, but my friend is right - aside from this one guy I dated for two months freshman year, I’ve only dated white men. Is something wrong with me?

What does it mean to be racist in terms of whom one chooses to date? Is it really wrong? Or is there something that could be done?

PhiPsiRuss · #2 12-14-2003, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by veemers
So, I have this new boyfriend, and I thought it would be really great to introduce him to some of my friends. He came to visit me, and I took him around campus. After that weekend, I was hanging out with my friend Jo in her room, and we started talking about Steve. All of a sudden Jo says, “Vanessa, I’m worried about you. You only date white men. Are you sure you aren’t racist? You really need to date all different types of men.” At first I brushed her comment off as nothing, but then later I started to wonder.

What if I AM racist? I’ve always thought of myself as an open, caring individual, but my friend is right - aside from this one guy I dated for two months freshman year, I’ve only dated white men. Is something wrong with me?

What does it mean to be racist in terms of whom one chooses to date? Is it really wrong? Or is there something that could be done?

Robert DiNiro finds black women more attractive. Is he a racist because he doesn't date white women? I don't believe so, and I think that your friend is the one with the problem. Date who you feel comfortable with. Choosing who you date is not the same thing as choosing who to hire. The former requires personal and subjective decisions, and this is nobody's business but your own.

DeltaSigStan · #3 12-14-2003, 03:43 PM

Every girl I've ever dated has at least been half white, and I'm just more attracted to white girls than Asian girls. Lose the drama, then maybe we'll talk.

Till then,

STAN LOVES HIS WHITE WOMEN

Anyway, I don't think it's racist, just a preference. If I meet a girl of any race who's smart, caring, deep, and can carry a conversation, I don't care what color she is, I've found gold.

And haven't you all watched family guy?

"It doesn't really matter if you're black or white, the only color that really matters is green"

Rio_Kohitsuji · #4 12-14-2003, 03:44 PM

What? Hell no you're not! Okay, I looked at your location, you're in friggin' Wisconsin, I don't suspect a lot of "variety" to be there.

I normally date white guys, I prefer them. Sure I think some black guys or Asian guys are hott, but all in all my tastes are for white guys. *shrugs* Can't help it. I like to think of it as what hair or eye color you prefer in the opposite sex. I know for a fact I really really dislike guys w/blue eyes...so does that make me "eyesist"?

It's all in what you prefer. So don't worry about it.

kddani · #5 12-14-2003, 03:56 PM

You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone just to be PC.

Attraction is such a hard thing to explain. You can't measure or explain someone's "attraction" as you could someone's aptitude for a job, etc.

Don't worry about it. If anything, don't question yourself, question your friend and why she would say something like that.

It's no one's business who you date except you and that person.

sigtau305 · #6 12-14-2003, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by veemers

What if I AM racist? I’ve always thought of myself as an open, caring individual, but my friend is right - aside from this one guy I dated for two months freshman year, I’ve only dated white men. Is something wrong with me?

No, there's nothing wrong with you. you're old enough to make your own decisions. never worry about what others think. as long as you're happy, that's the most important thing.

absolutuscchick · #7 12-14-2003, 04:27 PM

Your friend is a b@tch!!! There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. I've never even kissed someone who wasn't white. I'm just NOT attracted.

ThetaPrincess24 · #8 12-14-2003, 04:42 PM

I prefer white guys really..........it's nothing racially motivated though........i also prefer blue eyed guys to guys with brown eyes, and brown or dark hair to that of blonds and red heads. It means nothing.

My sister prefers to date black men.

*shrugs* It's all a matter of preference. I dont think any of it is racially motivated.

Like others have said I think your friend is the one that has a problem.

aurora_borealis · #9 12-14-2003, 06:10 PM

I am someone that is an equal opportunity dater. If someone is interesting and cool, I don't have a preference. What does end up happening is that more often than not I end up dating "white" guys. Why is this? A) I'm white, and a majority of folks, regardless of their backgrounds, date people like them, so I am approached more by white guys B) geography: once I leave my college campus, there is nothing but white people and their farms.

It just dawned on me though, I have dated two guys that are white and Native Alaskan, and they look 100% white. Not all traits are expressed how people expect them to be. My friend is white and Tlingit and he has red hair and blue eyes, and his twin sister has dark hair and eyes, and a darker complexion. He looks more like my brother than hers, and they shared a womb. For all your friend knows they could be of a blended background and it not be visually apparent to her.

rainbowbrightCS · #10 12-14-2003, 06:12 PM

what you happen if you dated a black man or asian man just to prove you are not racist. You could hurt them just to prove some stupid point. Can you help it if you are attracted to a certain eye color or hair style.

When did it become neccasary to date every color tro prove that you are not racist. I am sorry I should not have to prove any thing to anybody. I think having people see how you act will show people that you are not racist.

BTW
Why would that girl care? Is she keeping tract of who is dating who?

Christia

DeltaSigStan · #11 12-14-2003, 06:12 PM

*waits for the day a white girl says the phrase "I prefer asian guys"......*

rainbowbrightCS · #12 12-14-2003, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaSigStan
*waits for the day a white girl says the phrase "I prefer asian guys"......*

Hows this. I prefer guys! I don't care, as long as they have goals and are a good person.

Chris

Dionysus · #13 12-14-2003, 06:28 PM

I think it depends on the reason. If you have not dated outside of your race because you have not been around that many people unlike "your kind" or if your family is against it and dating interacially will cause a lot of drama, then I think your reason isn't racially motivated. However, if you have not dated outside your race because you think they are "icky" or you think that races shouldn't mix, then I believe it can be a sign of closed-mindedness. But, regardless of the reason, if you don't want to date interractially, then don't. It can lead to problems like rainbow mentioned.

Rio_Kohitsuji · #14 12-14-2003, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaSigStan
*waits for the day a white girl says the phrase "I prefer asian guys"......*

Lol..I actually do prefer Asian guys..ask my boyfriend's Japanese roomate...he's next in line if TKE209 and I ever break up...

Gotta keep up w/my bio sister, she landed a Filipino...

absolutuscchick · #15 12-14-2003, 10:21 PM

Just thought I'd mention that it is NO ONE'S BUSINESS but your own who you date!!!! I think that your "friend" is not so much of a friend, but is a pathetic girl who feels that she has to put others down to make herself feel better. It's sad.

--sorry if that sounded bitchy, but I really hate malicious people.