I have feelings for my big's younger brother...help!

[sigma_sailor10]

My big sister and I are very close; we've lived together previously, are planning on living together next year, and confide in each other with our various problems. However, I recently met her younger brother (he also goes to our university) and I am attracted to him. I know that sisters dating the biological brothers of sisters can be awkward (I recently had a small fling with my roommate's brother, and it was super weird and odd for her), and I don't want to throw a wrench in our Big/Little relationship. However, I really am attracted to him, so I don't know how to go about this without it being weird/awkward. Any advice?

[AOII Angel]

Don't do it. When things go sour...because it probably will, your relationship with your big will probably sour with it. It's not worth it. There are lots more fish in the ocean.

[adpiucf]

A fling is different than dating. Tread carefully when involving yourself with your friend's family members or friends.

[greekdee]

Well, I am married to the younger brother of one of my Phi Mu sisters -- 21 years and two children later, I still think he's pretty darn cute. My sister and I lived together for two years while undergrads.

However, even though he and I went out occasionally during college, it really was "as friends." He was (is) a Sig Ep and I went to his Homecoming dance with him one year. He also escorted me to one of my Phi Mu formals. We were both graduated and well into our 20's before we started to really date and get serious. My sister was very happy and supportive of the relationship. (And yes, she was a bridesmaid in the wedding!)

At this point in your life, I would not pursue anything romantic with him. Just be friends and don't ever view him as someone to have a "fling" with. Because of your close relationship with your Big, the dynamics are not right for you to view her brother in that light. When the fling ends, and especially if someone gets hurt, there will be a very uncomfortable situation for everyone.

My sister, her brother and I had some great times together during those college years and he and I never crossed the friend/romantic line...even though we were attracted to each other. Just wasn't the right time or dynamics for it. Later, it was and we had a great foundation of friendship supporting us.

[33girl]

Just say no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Keep him as an active participant in your fantasies but stop it there.

[ree-Xi]

This is a good exercise in self-control. I know that it sounds easy, it's often not. I really agree with the others who replied. Just make sure you don't get yourself into a situation (drinking, alone with him, losing inhibitions) where you would have a difficult time stopping or leaving.