Need as much advice as I can get!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Being able to discuss what happened may be part of the healing process, but it seems like a group like this would push that on the victim before they're ready, under the pretense of helping them.

Yep. Kind of like outing people before they're ready.

OP, if you were in a sorority years ago, why don't you work up a program that they can use to educate their members and help these people you're referring to? You will reach MANY more people that way than with a local, very specialized sorority that will take DECADES before it has the reach and influence that any established sorority does.

I agree that identifying yourself as "victim, woman, mother etc etc" - i.e. putting the victim part first and making it your raison d'etre - is nothing but counterproductive. You can't recover if you wake up every day and give yourself the "beaten down" label.

[Chicago88]

Originally Posted by Smile_Awhile

Also- domestic violence awareness and support for victims of domestic violence is not a unique philanthropy. Alpha Chi Omega has been supporting this cause since 1988.

Alpha Chi's support it as their philanthropy but thats different from being a survivor. I dont think she is looking for unique I think she's looking to form a sort of safe haven in order to heal and have women support each other in the process.

My best friend committed suicide in our apartment in front of all of us two years ago. It was a traumatic experience to say the least. Ive been to counseling groups, didn't help. Everyone is wired different, everyone copes and heals differently. Theres a local group here I volunteer for that helps with those who have suicidal thoughts, who are struggling with substance addiction, and those who are depressed. If it were formed in the right way I think it could be extremely beneficial to women who decide to join.

Although, I think you should make it clear that it is aimed at being a support sorority rather than defining yourself as a victim like someone has said in a previous post.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by lyngon30

@Drolefille-Haha funny, not really, but if thats what you want to say.
@DeltaBetaBaby-Realizing you are a victim is the 1st step in getting help. I am very educated in this area from experience & I have majored in Counseling, currently working on my PhD.
@everybody else I thank you for all your advise, its greatly appreciated!

Again, why would someone want to go through "pledging" and pay dues for an organization like this?

How will you sustain membership? What kind of programming will you engage in?

[ree-Xi]

Sororities typically promote lifelong membership.

I've been a victim of certain things in my life, things I have worked to recover myself over. While I am proud of my ability to survive and thrive, many years later, I can't imagine wearing a shirt that reminds me and shares my experiences with others. While some victims go on to crusade and advocate for others, I think that most people put that part of their lives behind them. Not to forget, but because they are so much more than their victimization.

It's similar to trying to start a sorority for people with Chronic Illnesses. I live mine every day, and am reminded at least twenty times a day. I don't need to join a club or sorority to commiserate or find support, and I can't imagine wearing clothes that scream it to others. A support group - that, I totally appreciate. I think that your goal of having a facility is wonderful. Then make it a foundation of some sorts.

Don't minimize the impact and work you can do by limiting your support by creating a sorority for victims. Remember, children and men are victims, too. Are you going to let them in? Support should be INCLUSIVE and not have requirements, which a structured sorority would need in order to operate.

I just don't think you're going for the right frame. But best of luck in your pursuits to provide support for victims of DV. It takes special people to reach out and help others.

[AOEforme]

What about a women's group? It need not be a sorority, so it doesn't have the strict membership requirements, the secrecy, etc.

Both men AND women could join (if you wanted to, since men are also victims) and you could also have non-victims who wanted to support join.

Also, there would be no need for membership selection and pledgeship. This might also be helpful in your circumstance because the last thing a survivor of violence needs is to (a) not be welcomed into a support group or (b) need to "work" to be a member of the group.

I think this is a great idea, but I don't think a traditional sorority is the best way to go about. I think a Women's Group would allow you to get all the amazing benefits you are looking for without the problems.

Good luck.

[lyngon30]

Thanks again for all the advice, I am taking everything into consideration.

[lyngon30]

What about a non-traditional GLO????? Feedback.... Thanks

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by lyngon30

What about a non-traditional GLO????? Feedback.... Thanks

Why...does...this...need...to...be...a...GLO???

[lyngon30]

Because I have a name already, colors & a motto, an an idea for a crest & have did alot of research into what everything means. I am sorry everybody might not get why I want it to be a GLO, but thats whats its going to be. Non-traditional with some twist as to membership, recruitment & pledging ect.. I already know what I want this to be, was just getting alittle feedback. Will let you all know how everything is working by April, 2011.

Thank you all for your input, it was well appreciated. No hard feelings.

[knight_shadow]

OK, if you have everything squared away, what kind of help/advice are you looking for?

And if you can't explain the appeal of your organization now, how will you do it in front of aspirants? You can't tell potential members "it's a GLO because I want it to be" and expect them to be excited to join.

[lyngon30]

I never said I couldn't explain, I didn't want to put to much out there just yet about the organization. I am currently recruiting board members & have worked with an attorney(board member) & other organizations in my area to which I have presented my organizations ideas, purpose & goals. I have been working on this for a few years now. I just put a little out there to see what others would say, get some feedback. Like I said, I really appreciate everyones input & I am taking everything into consideration, will make changes if needed be.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by lyngon30

Because I have a name already, colors & a motto, an an idea for a crest & have did alot of research into what everything means.

That's all great, but I think that, if you want this organization to really succeed, this answer is avoiding the real question. The real question you need to ask yourself, and be prepared for lots of other people to ask you, is this:

How will being a sorority make this organization better, more effective and more appealing to potential members than it would be if it were not a sorority?

Lots of organizations that are not sororities have names that mean something, colors that distinguish them, mottoes, coats-of-arms or other emblems and their own traditions. Many of them are very welcoming of others and have a sense of sister- or brotherhood. What they typically don't have, which separates them from most sororities, are exclusive selection procedures (by which I mean they decide whom they want to invite to join them, though I know that some service sororities are not exclusive in this way), an expectation of lifelong membership and commitment and secret or private ritual.

So, will you accept any woman who wants to join? Will you expect lifetime commitment? Will you have secret rituals? If no to any of these questions, then what is the advantage to your organization of being a "sorority" rather than some other kind of organization?

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by lyngon30

I never said I couldn't explain, I didn't want to put to much out there just yet about the organization. I am currently recruiting board members & have worked with an attorney(board member) & other organizations in my area to which I have presented my organizations ideas, purpose & goals. I have been working on this for a few years now. I just put a little out there to see what others would say, get some feedback. Like I said, I really appreciate everyones input & I am taking everything into consideration, will make changes if needed be.

Then the input/advice will be vague.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Really? You really felt the need to go there with this person? Unfuckingbelievable!

Yeah, it was a genuine question based on the writing and verb usage in the first post and the subsequent posts.

Surprise surprise I wasn't being snarky for once. So, keep those eyes a-rolling.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by lyngon30

I never said I couldn't explain, I didn't want to put to much out there just yet about the organization. I am currently recruiting board members & have worked with an attorney(board member) & other organizations in my area to which I have presented my organizations ideas, purpose & goals. I have been working on this for a few years now. I just put a little out there to see what others would say, get some feedback. Like I said, I really appreciate everyones input & I am taking everything into consideration, will make changes if needed be.

You've been working on this for years?

Creating a board for an organization that doesn't exist?

I think that you're going about this backwards. Usually, sororities grow out of groups of women who share common bonds and want to bring others into the fold.

What is an organization without people? Recruiting board members for what? Are there any other people involved who would be members??

All good intentions aside, this is a case of founderitis. The final test is the rampant use of the word "I".