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  #1  
Old 04-21-2016, 11:03 AM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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8 Skills Every 18 Year Old Should Have

I thought this was spot on. http://www.businessinsider.com/forme...-age-18-2016-4

1. An 18-year-old must be able to talk to strangers
Faculty, deans, advisers, landlords, store clerks, human resource managers, coworkers, bank tellers, health care providers, bus drivers, mechanics — in the real world.

The crutch: We teach kids not to talk to strangers instead of teaching the more nuanced skill of how to discern the few bad strangers from the mostly good ones. Thus, kids end up not knowing how to approach strangers — respectfully and with eye contact — for the help, guidance, and direction they will need out in the world.

2. An 18-year-old must be able to find his way around
A campus, the town in which her summer internship is located, or the city where he is working or studying abroad.

The crutch: We drive or accompany our children everywhere, even when a bus, their bicycle, or their own feet could get them there; thus, kids don't know the route for getting from here to there, how to cope with transportation options and snafus, when and how to fill the car with gas, or how to make and execute transportation plans.

3. An 18-year-old must be able to manage his assignments, workload, and deadlines
The crutch: We remind kids when their homework is due and when to do it — sometimes helping them do it, sometimes doing it for them; thus, kids don't know how to prioritize tasks, manage workload, or meet deadlines, without regular reminders.

4. An 18-year-old must be able to contribute to the running of a household
The crutch: We don't ask them to help much around the house because the checklisted childhood leaves little time in the day for anything aside from academic and extracurricular work; thus, kids don't know how to look after their own needs, respect the needs of others, or do their fair share for the good of the whole.

5. An 18-year-old must be able to handle interpersonal problems
The crutch: We step in to solve misunderstandings and soothe hurt feelings for them; thus, kids don't know how to cope with and resolve conflicts without our intervention.

6. An 18-year-old must be able to cope with ups and downs
Courses and workloads, college- level work, competition, tough teachers, bosses, and others.

The crutch: We step in when things get hard, finish the task, extend the deadline, and talk to the adults; thus, kids don't know that in the normal course of life things won't always go their way, and that they'll be okay regardless.

7. An 18-year-old must be able to earn and manage money
The crutch: They don't hold part-time jobs; they receive money from us for what ever they want or need; thus, kids don't develop a sense of responsibility for completing job tasks, accountability to a boss who doesn't inherently love them, or an appreciation for the cost of things and how to manage money.

8. An 18-year-old must be able to take risks
The crutch: We've laid out their entire path for them and have avoided all pitfalls or prevented all stumbles for them; thus, kids don't develop the wise understanding that success comes only after trying and failing and trying again (a.k.a. "grit") or the thick skin (a.k.a. "resilience") that comes from coping when things have gone wrong.

Remember: our kids must be able to do all of these things without resorting to calling a parent on the phone. If they're calling us to ask how, they do not have the life skill.
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  #2  
Old 04-21-2016, 11:11 AM
ComradesTrue ComradesTrue is offline
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This is excellent.
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Old 04-21-2016, 12:09 PM
DeltaBetaBaby DeltaBetaBaby is offline
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I wanna add: an 18-year-old should know how to support a friend who has suffered a major loss. People of all ages run away because they "don't know what to say," and that's inexcusable.
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Old 04-22-2016, 03:33 AM
moe.ron moe.ron is offline
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have to know how to file taxes
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Old 04-22-2016, 07:54 AM
LouisaMay LouisaMay is offline
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One of the reasons I like homeschooling my children is that we can make these things priorities, not an after-thought crammed around other "important" things. I realize that homeschooling isn't the answer for everyone, but it has been great for us.
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  #6  
Old 04-22-2016, 12:41 PM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby View Post
I wanna add: an 18-year-old should know how to support a friend who has suffered a major loss. People of all ages run away because they "don't know what to say," and that's inexcusable.
I lost one friend and nearly lost my best friend over just this issue when my mother died. That me losing my mother makes you uncomfortable is so far beside the point it's ridiculous. You suck it up, call every day, show up at the wake/funeral and you check in/mention it for what seems an unnecessary amount of time after that. That's what friends do.
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Old 04-22-2016, 01:38 PM
DeltaBetaBaby DeltaBetaBaby is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubaiSis View Post
I lost one friend and nearly lost my best friend over just this issue when my mother died. That me losing my mother makes you uncomfortable is so far beside the point it's ridiculous. You suck it up, call every day, show up at the wake/funeral and you check in/mention it for what seems an unnecessary amount of time after that. That's what friends do.
I have a very distinct memory of being around 11 or 12 and a close family friend lost his mother. My mom was like, "when you see him, tell him you are sorry for his loss" and I was like "no, I'm so awkward, I don't want to, etc." and my mom was like, "this is NOT about YOUR feelings."

When I lost my stepdad in college, I GOT it. That was a similarly friend-losing experience for me.
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  #8  
Old 04-22-2016, 01:42 PM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby View Post
I have a very distinct memory of being around 11 or 12 and a close family friend lost his mother. My mom was like, "when you see him, tell him you are sorry for his loss" and I was like "no, I'm so awkward, I don't want to, etc." and my mom was like, "this is NOT about YOUR feelings."
Thank your mom for being awesome.
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Old 04-22-2016, 03:52 PM
AOIILisa AOIILisa is offline
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I want to send this to my brother, he and his wife are raising his kids like veal. Even now, the 18 year old has been deemed "too immature" to attend a four year university and is attending community college while living at home. She's never held a job, barely drives a car, and acts like a 12 year old instead of an 18 year old.

I personally think getting away from her parents would be good for her, but like all people without kids of their own, I am not allowed to express my opinions on this. However, I remember how our parents raised us, which involved a lot of chores, after school jobs, and solving our own problems, which enabled me to go to college at 17 and be just fine. Not sure where this got lost in translation with my brother.
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