MelissaS's rush at URI

[aephi alum]

Melissa, there's nothing wrong with you. It takes a lot of courage to go through formal rush, particularly if it's your second or third time. Great people get cut all the time, sometimes for stupid reasons... sometimes good people are cut by all sororities before they even get to pref. So you were cut heavily... it's the sororities' loss.

You might find your home via COB, or alumna initiation might be the thing for you. The important thing is not to beat yourself up over this. Spend some time with your friends, eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's, take a long bath, whatever... then move on and leave this behind you.

Take care.

[GPhiBLtColonel]

....you signed the card Melissa...please tell us what you decided to do...we all care about you VERY much and I know you'd have a million hugssss if we were all with you right now.

[MelissaS]

I did not sign my bid card--I withdrew from rush. (It seems like so many rush threads have unhappy endings lately!!)

I was hoping that would give me a chance at an open bid (snap bid) because the RC's said that there would probably be a lot of houses doing that. I did not get a call.

So I guess the whole sorority idea is over for me. I can't do COB because that's not until the spring, and by then I'll be almost a junior so it's pointless. The only thing I can think of is that sometimes houses that need more girls do a small informal rush after formal rush is over, so I'll keep my eyes open for that but I'm really discouraged right now and I'll probably be too embarassed to show up to a house AGAIN when it's already obvious that they don't want me.

You all have been so supportive of me, and I really appreciate that more than words can say. I wouldn't have even gone through rush if it weren't for all of you.

[doubleblue&gold]

Good Luck!

And don't be embarrassed if someone invites you to an informal rush activity, they wouldn't do it unless they were interested in you!

[sbhill2]

do try the informal rush - sometimes people get cut from houses during rush because not enough people remember you. that means that the girls liked you but some of them just didn't remember your name. informal rush or not, good luck and let us know if you decide anything. we're here for ya!

[CutiePie2000]

Do the informal rush, absolutely.
If you are feeling nervous, try to find someone to give you a pep talk that you are fabulous! Because you ARE!!!!

[erica812]

Yesterday, I posted my WHOLE story on the "Ole Miss" Thread, but I just want to mention one important aspect to you, Melissa. I was offered a bid after an informal event my sophomore year (after an unsuccessful Rush as a freshman). I declined because by then I was just too involved with too many activities to be able to give as much of my time as the sorority deserved. They offered me a bid AGAIN my junior year (informal too), and again, I declined. Even though I still sometimes regret the decision I made, I have completely wonderful, lifelong friends from my time in college. In fact, I'm heading back to Homecoming next week, and I CAN'T WAIT!!! Make your college years all that you want them to be...with or without a sorority. And remember, Pi Beta Phi still remembered/wanted me even when I was a JUNIOR! You aren't out of the running yet.

Erica

[33girl]

Joining as a junior is absolutely not pointless...one of our sisters joined as a 2nd semester junior and became chapter president. My little joined her first semester senior year and probably got more out of being Greek than some women who are Greek from the first moment of their freshman year. It's not when you join it's what you do with the time you have!

[xodiva1437]

Melissa...

I have been following your journey through recruitment since the beginning of your postings, and like everyone else, my heart goes out to you. There is no doubt in my mind that you are a sweet young woman. As I read through your postings one thought came to mind, and that is that you may not have been yourself. You may have focused so much on wearing the right clothes and saying the right thing, and asking the right questions that each house did not get a chance to meet the REAL you. This is the only reason that comes to my mind as to why you did not recieve a bid. Please keep THIS in mind, though. The reason why your panhel recruitment book includes a disclosure about COB is to dicourage women from suiciding. I know for a fact that more houses than you think will be having informal recruitment parties this fall, so keep a look out for flyers and newspaper ads. I pledged my house through informal recruitment as a sophomore, and though I had not attended any recruitment parties in the past, I know that my house was the one for me.

Also, it is not pathetic to want to be a part of something as wonderful as the greek system. We are a system of outstanding individuals, and wonderful families and traditions. You wanting to be a part of something so wonderful and trying to attain something that you want is not pathetic. If you do not try, then you cannot succeed.

Another thing to keep in mind is that 250 girls went through formal recruitment at URI. The chances of every house remembering you is impossible. Do not feel as though going to them informally again would be embarrassing. I think you seeking what you want would make all of us proud.

[violets]

xodiva1437,
Beautiful post, you said what I think we all wanted to express.

Melissa, you are in our thoughts, we want the best for you.

violets