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  #1  
Old 07-11-2001, 07:31 PM
newbie newbie is offline
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Exclamation VERY IMPORTANT: A Must-Read for Women

******************************************
These women safety tips was from a forward sent from a friend of mine! Hopefully, you guys won't ever need to use this tips, but this is for "just in case". I also don't want you guys to walk around paranoid, but rather, aware, because of this info! Yes, it is lengthy - but it is totally worth reading and remembering - and it just might save your life!
*******************************************

I learned from my children's karate classes that the elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

Last night I attended a personal safety workshop, and it jolted me. It was given by an amazing man, Pat Malone, who has been a body guard for famous figures like Farrah Fawcett and Sylvester Stallone. He works
for the FBI, and teaches police officers and Navy SEALS hand-to-hand combat. This man has seen it all, and knows a lot. He focused his teachings to us on HOW TO AVOID BEING THE VICTIM OF A VIOLENT CRIME. He gave us some statistics about how much the occurrences of random violence have escalated over the recent years, and it's terrible. Something like 99% of us will be exposed to, or become a victim of a violent crime.

Here are some of the most important points that I got out of his presentation:
(1.) The three reasons women are easy targets for random acts of violence are:
(a.) Lack of Awareness You MUST know where you are & what's going on around you.
(b.) Body Language Keep your head up, swing your arms, stand straight up.
(c.) Wrong Place, Wrong Time DON'T walk alone in an alley, or drive in a bad neighborhood at night.
(2.) Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc, and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc). DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. [Dan Mackey's comment:] (having a vehicle with a remote lock/unlock system is a big plus; no fumbling to get the key in the lock, plus you have a panic alarm to set off the cars alarm siren. Criminals hate noise.
(a.) A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage: Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
(b.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
(c.) Look at the car parked on the drivers side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (Better paranoid than dead.)
(3.) ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
(a.) Do not get on an elevator if there is a weirdo already on there. (Of course bad men don't always look bad). [Dan Mackey's comment:] If you have an uneasy feeling no matter how the person looks, heed your feelings and don't get on the elevator.
(b.) Do not stand back in the corners of the elevator, be near the front, by the doors, ready to get off or on.
(c.) If you get on the elevator on the 25th floor, and the Boogie Man gets on the 22nd, get off when he gets on.
(4) If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
(a.) Police only make 4 of 10 shots when they are in range of 3-9 feet. This is due to stress.
(b.) The predator will only hit you (a running target) 1 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
(5.) As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed.
(a.) Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
(b.) Pat Malone told us the story of his daughter, who came out of the mall and was walking to her car when she noticed 2 older ladies in front of her. Then she saw a police car come towards her with cops who said hello. She also noticed that all 8 handicap spots in the area were empty. As she neared her car she saw a man a few rows
over calling to her for help. He wanted her to close his passenger side door. He was sitting in the driver's side, and said he was handicapped. He continued calling, until she turned and headed back to the mall, and then he began cursing at her. In the meantime, she wondered why he didn't ask the 2 older ladies, or the policeman for help, and why he was not parked in any of the empty handicap spots. As she got back to the mall, two male friends of hers were exiting, and as she to them the story, and urned to point at the car, the man was getting out of the back seat into the front, and the car sped away. DON'T GET CAUGHT IN THIS TRAP.
(6.) Tips to saving your life, if you have gotten into a violent situation:
(a.) REACT IMMEDIATELY If he abducts you in a parking lot, and is taking you to an abandoned area, DON'T LET HIM GET YOU TO THAT AREA. If you are driving, react immediately in the situation, and crash your car while still going 5 mph. If he's driving, find the right time, and stick your fingers in his eyes. He must watch the road, so choose an unsuspecting time, and gouge him. It is your ONLY defense. While he is in shock, GET OUT. (This sounds gross, but the alternative is your fault if you do not act.)
(b.) RESIST Don't go along with him: run, if you are able: DON'T EVER GIVE UP! You DO NOT want to get to a crime scene.
(7.) Always keep your distance when walking past strangers on the street or in dark areas.
(8.) GET A CELL PHONE.
(a.) There are packages for $19.95 a month that allow you to program only 911 into the dialing out program. (This is an alternative for parents who say it is too expensive for their kids to have a cell phone.) [Dan Mackey's comment:] On most cell phones if you hold down the "9" button for 5 or more seconds, it is the same as dialing 9-1-1. It is a "panic" button of sorts.
(9.) BREAK DOWNS: Make every effort to avoid this by ALWAYS keeping your car in good working order.
(a.) If your car breaks down: LOCK YOUR DOORS. You better have a cell phone to call for help.
(b.) If you don't have a cell phone: (shame on you) keep a blanket, warm clothes, a pair of boots, and a flashlight in your car always, for emergencies.
(c.) If it's noon on a business day, you may want to put your hazards on and walk to safety.
(d.) If it's 2 a. m, put on your warm clothes, and walk to a lighted area. You are a perfect target if you are sitting in your car broken down. Predators search the highways for easy targets like you.
(e.) If you're on a desolate road: walk away from the car (in your warm clothes) and go to some bushes, or some area AWAY from your vehicles. It will be cold, and uncomfortable, but you DO NOT want to stay in your car, and there are no psycho bogeymen waiting in the bushes who knew you were going to break down there and then. [Dan Mackey's comment:] Like in the movies???
(10.) Physical defenses that we can use against the violent predator:
(a.) The EYES are the most vulnerable part of the body. Poke him there. HARD. It may be your, only window of opportunity.
(b.) The neck is also a vulnerable spot, but you MUST know where to grip, AND HAVE THE STRENGTH to cut off his breath.
(c.) The last place is the KNEES. Everyone's knees are very vulnerable, and a swift kick here will take anyone down.
A cautionary note about these things. If you do not do these things right the first time, you are in trouble, because it will only anger the individual, and that anger will be TAKEN OUT ON YOU. I'm not saying don't attempt them (it may be your only hope), but be forceful when you do.
(11.) If you are walking alone in the dark (which you shouldn't be) and you find him following/chasing you:
(a.) Scream "FIRE!", and not "help". People don't want to get involved when people yell "help", but "fire" draws attention because people are nosy.
(b.) RUN!
(c.) Find an obstacle, such as a parked car, and run around it, like Ring Around the Rosie. This may sound silly, but over the years, 5 women have told Pat Malone that this SAVED THEIR LIVES.
(d.) Your last hope is getting under the car. Once you are under there, there are tons of things to hold on to, and he will
not be able to get you out and will not come under for you (most likely). Usually they give up by this point. The catch here is that YOU MUST PRACTICE GETTING UNDER THE CAR. You must have a plan (he will have one); know if you will be going on your back, front, from the side or back of
the car. It must be practiced. [Dan Mackey's comment:] I wouldn't recommend grabbing the muffler if the car was recently driven, however.
(12.) Never let yourself or anyone that you know be a "closer" in any type of business(bar, store, restaurant, gas station). Pat knew Danielle, who was a girl that just died from being shot point-blank by some kids while she was closing at the local gas station. He talked with her the night before she died, and asked whether it ever scared her to close alone. She said yes, but said "I'll be alright, Pat. I'll be alright." She wasn't. Our world is not as safe as we pretend that it is, and living in our fantasy worlds WILL get us in trouble, sooner or later. Pat Malone said again and again that the women who die EVERY MINUTE from violent crimes expected to go to bed tonight, and get up tomorrow. No one expects it, but we must be prepared and aware so that we HAVE A PLAN. BE PREPARED TO ACT! AND ACT HARD! HAVE A PLAN!
[Comment from Betty Parrish on something that is not covered above.]
DO NOT OPEN YOUR DOOR TO ANYONE THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW!!! Just because someone knocks or rings your doorbell, that does not mean you have to open the door; if you do not know the person, DON'T. If they have something to deliver, tell them to just leave it on the porch. NOT OPENING YOUR DOOR MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE! I would encourage you to pass this on to all women, not just your friends and family, but everybody. We all need to hear it.
Jill Vaughan
Paul Taira
IT Director
EIS Systems
2941 Miraloma Avenue, Suite 9
Anaheim, CA 92806
ph#: 714.905.2530
fax#: 714.905.2535
This E-mail is covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521 and is legally privileged. This information is confidential information and is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of this communication is strictly prohibited.


[This message has been edited by newbie (edited July 11, 2001).]
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  #2  
Old 07-11-2001, 07:38 PM
newbie newbie is offline
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Question

I have a few questions regarding the tips:

1) how do you kick off the back tailights if you are in the trunk of the car?

2) it says to crash your car if you are being forced to drive. Wouldn't that just kill us instead ?????

3) I don't think i could ever stick my fingers into a person's eyes , even if I was in total danger! Maybe I'm just a wimp!!

and 4) I don't understand this part:
******************************************
If you're on a desolate road: walk away from the car (in your warm clothes) and go to some bushes, or some area AWAY from your vehicles. It will be cold, and uncomfortable, but you DO NOT want to stay in your car, and there are no psycho bogeymen waiting in the bushes who knew you were going to break down there and then. *******************************************

I thought the bushes was one of the most unsafe places out there?????



[This message has been edited by newbie (edited July 11, 2001).]
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  #3  
Old 07-12-2001, 12:21 AM
juniorgrrl juniorgrrl is offline
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Red face

I've had to work closing quite a bit at the mall, and it scares the CRAP outta me to walk out at night. Yeah, we always walk out in pairs, but still. I was closing with another girl tonight, so I asked my mom to meet me - I've been shaken by a dream I had about someone jumping me while walking out.

Girls - ask a security guard to walk you out! Don't think you'll just be okay. Be Safe everyone!
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  #4  
Old 07-12-2001, 12:42 AM
greeklawgirl greeklawgirl is offline
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Posts like this are always very sobering and they're good reminders to us all to be careful. I'm helping out with a murder trial right now, and it makes me realize how precious life really is. Everyone, please take good care of yourselves and hug your loved ones a little tighter tonight.

------------------
"To hold truth inviolable, sincerity essential, kindness invaluable."
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Old 07-12-2001, 10:08 AM
BlueReign BlueReign is offline
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What I don't understand is the suggestion to get under the car. Huh? I don't think so.

And no, I don't think I could stick my fingers in anyone's eyes either Newbie. My suggestion - a good punch in the eye!

[This message has been edited by BlueReign (edited July 12, 2001).]
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Old 07-12-2001, 03:31 PM
SuperXO SuperXO is offline
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Newbie and BlueReign,
I sympathize with how you feel about the eyes, but I strongly urge you guys to brace yourselves and be ready to do it. If your life and/ or sanity and/ or well-being is on the line, it's worth a second or two of mushy eyeball!

My boyfriend actually makes me practice this all the time. No, I don't actually poke his eye out! But, he pretends to walk up to me and grabs me from different angles and shows me how most ways people will grab you, you can either reach their eyeballs or their other balls...

That point about doing it all the way is true too! especially for the groin area. You have to be brave, grab hard, twist and yank. Even with adrenaline pumping, no guy can stand this!

And with the eyes...they are such a delicate part of the body and it is way beyond just instinct that when someone is coming at your eyes, you flinch and move away. Even a predatory attacker won't be able to avoid his instincts. And if you get the eye, stick your finger in the corner, not directly in the middle. Once the finger is in the corner of the eye, dig in and hook the eye out of the socket. Okay, I know that sounds really, really gross, but it is much less damaging to hook the eye out than to actually pop it and release the optic fluids. Either way, you will definitely get away from the guy, but this way, your a little nicer.

But, you know what, in the melee of it all, just go for the eye and don't worry about if your hooking it or popping it. Start to press really hard and jab, and he'll probably back down before you do a lot of damage...and if he doesn't, well, it sure as hell ain't your fault!

You can do it! A mushy eye vs. your life? Easy choice and I know you can make it if it ever comes down to it!
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Old 07-12-2001, 04:45 PM
newbie newbie is offline
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Oh god. I'm about to head out for work, but also - I close every single day! Luckily I'm not the only one, and it's usually in a good neighborhood - but still! I am uisually one of three girls closing . I'm glad I have someone to pick me up, but I"m still kind of scared .

Also, thanks guys for the advice . To be honest, I'm still scared to death to poke anyone in the eyes. Also, what if he grabs you from behind? What should we do? Kick him in the knees? What if he's really tall and I can't reach his eyes . (I'm short, like 5'2-5'3)

[This message has been edited by newbie (edited July 12, 2001).]
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Old 07-12-2001, 05:03 PM
Tom Earp Tom Earp is offline
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Not to sound to funny about this, but if some one is facing you of the male gender, kick him in the balls!! I know this hurts and will double them over and then run like hell to a area or people!
If grabbed from behind, stomp real had on the foot, they say instep, but try it as it is tuff. The foot is very tender and they once again will relaease. I know the police dogma, go along. If you have the feeling you are really going to get hurt, if you do not fight then you are really in trouble. I have owned business's for 20 + years and I know if I have a chance, I will shoot and I was not trained to wound. I hope I never see the day that I would have to, but if it is between he or me, I am in hopes it is he! It is scary, I know that as I have chased people out of my store, but I also chased down people who had weapons. Even though I also had a weapon, I could have been killed to protect someone who could not protect themselves.

------------------
Tom Earp LX Z#1
Pittsburg State U. (Kansas)
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Old 07-12-2001, 07:23 PM
SuperXO SuperXO is offline
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Newbie,
Also, if you are grabbed from behind, you can usually still reach the two key areas. Think about it: If he grabs from behind and pins your arms down, you should be able to reach directly behind you and grab. Don't be shy...just feel around till you get 'em! Then give 'em a hard squeeze!

Or, if he grabs you underneath your arms, you can reach up and back and jab around for his eyes. Don't worry about bad aim, he'll be busy trying to avoid your flailing hand and this may help you get away, too.

Remember, he can't stop you, cuz both his hands are busy grabbing and pinning you, right?

One codicil: if he has a knife to your throat, you may want to be a little more stealthy or strategic. That kinda changes things.

And about being not very tall, that should be okay, because I bet your arms are each at least 2 feet long, and two feet plus your height, well, he'd have to be Shaquille O'Neal! Even then, wouldn't he possibly lift you up a little to his height? I bet you could do it!
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Old 07-12-2001, 07:52 PM
aephi alum aephi alum is offline
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Thank you for posting this. I'm a paranoid New Yorker so I do most of these things anyway, but a lot of folks are a lot more trusting than I am, and I don't want to see any of them (or myself!) showing up as a statistic.

I would add, if you know it will be dark when you're returning to your car (you have to work late, or it's winter and the sun sets before you leave work, etc) park your car under a light, a security camera, or if possible, both. Also, call someone before you leave, so if anything happens you will be missed.

Another tip: I used to do a lot of traveling for my job. When my plane landed, I would get a taxi to take me home, and I would ALWAYS call my husband from my cell phone. It reassured him that I was safe, plus I knew the driver could hear me talking to him and that if he tried anything funny, my husband would call the cops.
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Old 07-13-2001, 04:35 PM
newbie newbie is offline
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Thanks so much you guys for trying to reassure me . Hopefully if it calls for it, I will be able to poke his eyes out!!!! SuperXO, what if he did hold a gun to our heads or a knife to our throats...ehh, I don't think I would know what to do... Do you have any recommendations for me? I really think I should take a self-defense course just to be more assured...

Aephi alum, did you say anything important on the cell phone to your husband, like, "You should expect me in so and so minutes," or something like that?? Yeah, I'm kinda wary of taxi drivers too! OK, is this just a myth - I heard that NYC is very scary b/c your purse/baggage/etc. can be stolen at anytime? thanks everyone for responding !
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Old 07-13-2001, 10:58 PM
SuperXO SuperXO is offline
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Newbie,
I think some of the previous posters had some good advice about running away from guns and stuff. however, if someone has a gun or knife to your head, that's very tricky! I would hesitate to give you advice that I don't really feel confident about myself!

Maybe I'll ask my boyfriend to practice with me this weekend

We'll pretend he has a weapon and I'll learn some tips and try to come back to you!
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Old 07-14-2001, 03:04 PM
newbie newbie is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by SuperXO:
Newbie,
I think some of the previous posters had some good advice about running away from guns and stuff. however, if someone has a gun or knife to your head, that's very tricky! I would hesitate to give you advice that I don't really feel confident about myself!

Maybe I'll ask my boyfriend to practice with me this weekend

We'll pretend he has a weapon and I'll learn some tips and try to come back to you!
Thanks SuperXO - you are SOOOOO awesome!!!!!!!!!!!

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Old 07-16-2001, 01:24 PM
SuperXO SuperXO is offline
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Okay, Newbie, I got some ideas for ya!

The thing that we thought about the most is that you shouldn't let someone get close to you like that in the first place. Like, what happens so that a person has the gun or knife up to you? Hopefully you sense them coming earlier and can keep moving away from them, not letting them get within reaching distance.

But, it does happen, so here's some tips and I hope they aren't too hard to understand...it would be easier if I could show you, but you know...

First, gun. Now, this seems really scary, but what my boyfriend was taught makes a lot of sense. If someone has a gun up to you, you can actually move away from it quite easily by pivoting away. You will not get shot because even if the person has their finger on the trigger, it takes them longer to register your movement, decide to shoot, pull the trigeer and send the bullet than for you to complete your movement. So, let's say someone has a gun to your chest. You pivot 45 degrees out and back from them, so while you were facing them before, you are now facing to the side, with them on your left (or right, depending on which way you pivot). This seems highly risky because of how scary guns are, but it really does work. My boyfirned has been taking these classes for years, he actually has a fake gun that he uses in class and we practiced. Sure enough, there is no way the bullet would hit you if you pivot quickly.

But, you're away from the gun, what do you do next? At that point, you'd have to fight, unless you run and take the chance of a bullet. This is where the eye poke or groin grab comes in.

Now, about a knife. usually someone would hold a knife under your chin. The best way to prevent them from cutting you is to grab them, right around the wrist they are holding the gun with and hang on with your entire body weight. Picture yourself doing a pull-up with your palms and wrists inward, not outward. That's how you hold onto the assailant's arm. Hold it tight, kind of against your body and think of you arm, elbow, hand and whole body as one unit. So, you're holding on to him and if he moves his hand, your whole body moves with it. So, he can't slice you because your body is moving the same way as the knife. This actually works REALLY well. We used my boyfriend's fake knife and I hung on and he said he was literally trying to slice me with all his strength (and he is much stronger than me), but the strength of his arm could not combat the strength of my entire body weight, with all my muscles tensed. He literally lifted me off the ground and was kind of swingin me around, but he still couldn't get the knife into a slicing position, much less move it across my throat. Once you are holding on like that, your other hand is free to grab his groin. There might be quite a struggle, but your most important thing to remember is to concentrate on hanging onto his arm with your whole weight.

So, I hope nothing ever happens to us where we use this, but if it does, I hope we can remember it if so! Maybe you can get someone to practice a few little tricks with yu. In scary situations like that, it's hard to think, but if you've practiced and have muscle memory, you'll be more successful!
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Old 07-16-2001, 04:26 PM
newbie newbie is offline
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SuperXO, thank you so much for taking your time out to practice and give me tips!!!! I am very, very grateful!!!

Now, I have a question - about the gun thing, when you try to fight him, won't he just shoot you instead . Also, when you pivot 45 degrees and go to the side...do you face front again and try to fight him? I would think that he would try to shoot you then?

Thanks for the tips on the knife thing!!! I am absolutely terrified of any of this happening, but at least now I'm more aware!!!! So, let me make sure I'm right about this - do you hang on to his wrist with only one arm, and try to pull yourself up? Um, I'm not that strong, I dno't think - with one arm I think I couldn't hold on for a long time!

Thanks again SuperXO!!! When my bf comes back next week, I'm gonna insist that he help me practice hehe!
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