Why you didn't make it into a sorority. - Page 16

33girl · #**226** 04-19-2007, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NikkiB

Also, during rush at FSU, PNMs have to go to ALL events their invited to, or they get automatically dropped completely. is it not like that elsewhere?

Some schools do this, but some do not. The problem comes when a woman keeps saying she doesn't want to go back to a chapter, they keep inviting her back and there's no way for them to know (unless she's straight up rude) that she really doesn't want to be there.

AlphaFrog · #**227** 04-19-2007, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Some schools do this, but some do not. The problem comes when a woman keeps saying she doesn't want to go back to a chapter, they keep inviting her back and there's no way for them to know (unless she's straight up rude) that she really doesn't want to be there.

Would it be considered rude for the woman to tactfully say something like "This seems like a great house, but I really don't feel like I fit in here."? Otherwise, if she's being blatantly rude so as to not get invited back, other houses (that she does want) are going to hear about it.

33girl · #**228** 04-19-2007, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Would it be considered rude for the woman to tactfully say something like "This seems like a great house, but I really don't feel like I fit in here."? Otherwise, if she's being blatantly rude so as to not get invited back, other houses (that she does want) are going to hear about it.

Put yourself back during rush.

Now think about how you would feel if a rushee said that to you. No matter how nicely she said it, I think you would be upset and say OMG WHAT A BIA!!

AlphaFrog · #**229** 04-19-2007, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Put yourself back during rush.

Now think about how you would feel if a rushee said that to you. No matter how nicely she said it, I think you would be upset and say OMG WHAT A BIA!!

I never had that happen during rush, but when I went to hand out a COB bid (we tried to do them personally), I had a girl tell me that she didn't think our house was for her, and I was like "Cool, see ya around". I guess it just didn't bother me, because I know ASA isn't for everyone.

DeltaBetaBaby · #**230** 04-19-2007, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Would it be considered rude for the woman to tactfully say something like "This seems like a great house, but I really don't feel like I fit in here."? Otherwise, if she's being blatantly rude so as to not get invited back, other houses (that she does want) are going to hear about it.

No PNM ever thinks that unless they think the house is not good enough for them. So it would be a pretty transparent remark.

Drolefille · #**231** 04-19-2007, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

No PNM ever thinks that unless they think the house is not good enough for them. So it would be a pretty transparent remark.

I really don't think it means "you're not good enough for me"

I know I didn't fit in to several houses on my campus. I really only had two houses out of five that I would have considered a bid from after recruitment. I dropped the other ones because I didn't fit there. But I didn't think so highly of myself that they weren't good enough for me. I just knew I wouldn't be happy there and why accept a bid someplace you don't want to be? Why be sisters with people you don't seem to like?

KSUViolet06 · #**232** 04-19-2007, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Would it be considered rude for the woman to tactfully say something like "This seems like a great house, but I really don't feel like I fit in here."?

There is no tactful way to say that. If you are required to go to all events, your best bet is to just suck it up and go. I'm sorry, but unless you're a complete bitch, it's not hard to be a polite guest to a sorority that's not your favorite for an HOUR at the most (the length of most pref parties). Sorority women are not dense, we know what all those cryptic statements mean ("I don't like you." or "I think I'm too good for you.")

UGAalum94 · #**233** 04-19-2007, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

There is no tactful way to say that. If you are required to go to all events, your best bet is to just suck it up and go. I'm sorry, but unless you're a complete bitch, it's not hard to be a polite guest to a sorority that's not your favorite for an HOUR at the most (the length of most pref parties). Sorority women are not dense, we know what all those cryptic statements mean ("I don't like you." or "I think I'm too good for you.")

I think everyone should just try to keep in mind that it's good PR all the way around to behave as if the group and the girl like each other.

The girl represents her future chapter well, and the group shows good manners and hospitality.

Maybe that's something that recruitment advisers and greek life could emphasize during rush.

They could sort of say:

We know as PNMs that you aren't going to like all the groups equally, but we've set up the system to create the greatest possibility that you will have a chance to join a group. Sometimes it might mean attending a party for a group that you don't think you want to join.

Everyone knows this occasionally happens. Keep in mind that when you join your future group, girls you meet at other chapters will still remember how you acted and the interest and respect you showed for their groups. Help strengthen Greek Life generally by being a well mannered and friendly guest at every party that you attend.

ChildoftheHorn · #**234** 04-19-2007, 11:28 PM

Umm...there are some reasons beyond people's control.
I had people tell me straight up that I was dropped because of:

Major (against engineers)
Hyper Involved in campus (they thought I could not make the time)
Accomplishments (nothing said "social" and not "geek")

The common one was that I didn't fit the personality of the house, which was true for all of them (I felt the same way). The reason why I asked was basically because I had interviews for internships and wanted to know where to improve.

Funny thing was that after the whole process was done, a lot of those girls I talked to during Rush then friended me on Facebook.

*engineering has a GPA around a 2.7-.8 overall, whereas the all-women's is 3.3-3.4....which is why they cut a lot of engineers no matter their current GPA.

All these girls then started inviting me to all these different things and they were pretty chill. They were right about me not fitting the personality of houses, even I knew that.

Just come to the truth that if you don't fit the house, you don't want to be there.

Things happened just right for me, a new group came to campus. The only reason I joined was because I loved the girls who joined. It is really a sorority of girls who fit my personality, the one that was missing on campus.

If it is meant to happen, it will!

KSUViolet06 · #**235** 08-12-2007, 03:57 PM

I think this one deserves to be brought up again. There was a quote by OleMissGlitter in another thread that I wanted to re-post here:

Quote:

Originally Posted by OleMissGlitter

In the words of a very wise Director of Greek Life at Ole Miss, "Rush is not a guaranteed process."

I will never forget when I heard those words when I went through rush at Ole Miss in August of 1996.

ZTA_Lover · #**236** 08-14-2007, 02:03 AM

OP, I think thats a little nasty.. like people have said, so much can happen and your experience depends on so many different things... and different schools have completely different recruitments, if you go to a rinkydink school then the rush is probably easier. being cut definitely DOES NOT WHATSOEVER mean you don't have qualities that stand out. My sorority has cut so many amazing women based on the mere fact that we can't take EVERYONE we like....so how can you pass a judgement on all pnm's who got dropped? How do you even know? and even if you felt that way, why be nasty and start a thread about it?

#**237** 08-14-2007, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZTA_Lover

OP, I think thats a little nasty.. like people have said, so much can happen and your experience depends on so many different things... and different schools have completely different recruitments, if you go to a rinkydink school then the rush is probably easier. being cut definitely DOES NOT WHATSOEVER mean you don't have qualities that stand out. My sorority has cut so many amazing women based on the mere fact that we can't take EVERYONE we like....so how can you pass a judgement on all pnm's who got dropped? How do you even know? and even if you felt that way, why be nasty and start a thread about it?

I'm going to assume that you're new, based on your Join Date.

If you've been around here long enough, you'll know that James' posts aren't usually meant to be nasty. IMO, he likes to take a 'devil's advocate' stance -- which usually gets on the nerves of many here. Even though I may not agree with him most of the time, I find that kind of attitude refreshing, especially in the Recruitment forum. There's too much blowing sunshine up the ass here, it's disgusting. PNMs and their parents should know that they should keep things realistic -- even if those who keep it real get labeled as nasty bitches by the Recruitment nazis.

Also, take notice that this thread was started back in 2003. I was around back then, but I can't remember what was going specifically as far as rush threads go. Something back then may or may not have prompted him to start a thread like this.

There are lots of other nastier threads on GC. If you're going to participate in discussions, you might want a thicker skin.