I don't know how I feel about my sorority...

[sb55]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

What part of not having the time/effort is NOT lazy? If it was important to you, you would MAKE time. As for skills...that's a cop-out. Everyone has got something they could contribute skills-wise, unless you're a brainless blob. Addressing COB invites, hanging event flyers, and those sorts of things don't require any particular skills that a college student (or first grader) wouldn't have.

Yeah I get you. I just don't know how I would help improve the reputation? How does one do that?

[princessamy]

Originally Posted by sb55

Thanks to everyone who responded! You were really helpful.

To everyone who said I was lazy and just wanted the world to revolve around me without putting any work in, I wish you would've read that I said "I'm not sure I have the time/skills/effort to do that. I wouldn't be sure where to begin."
It wasn't me saying I wasn't willing to put in the effort, it was me saying I was unsure I was fit for the job.

Please read posts fully before responding, this was all pretty hateful...

Maybe you should reread the posts that you posted.

[fascination]

"There are a few outgoing people but a lot of the people are sort of introverted, stay-at-home, socially awkward-ish. (I got that vibe from them and some older members have mentioned it too)." Folks, she's 18, and most of us didn't know any better at that age, unless one is from a GLO background. Unfortunately, OP is stuck with what she has - or nothing. She is unlikely to be able to change the personalities of the majority of the existing members into what she is looking for. Whether she is willing to spend the upcoming semesters trying to find (recruit) a pool of potenial new members that would pledge next semester is up to her. Ten new, outgoing ladies could make a huge difference! Best of luck to her, and please don't be too hard on her for her honesty.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by sb55

Yeah I get you. I just don't know how I would help improve the reputation? How does one do that?

• By presenting yourself well;
• By refusing to buy into the reputation;
• By showing pride in your organization;
• By helping recruit quality members;
• By getting to know your sisters as people, warts and all, and deciding that they matter to you, regardless of what other people think, and
• By not letting it slide when someone gives you the "Oh-you're-in-that-sorority" look. You don't have to be rude, but you can answer with pride "Yes, I am."

That would be a start. Reputations aren't built overnight and they're not broken down overnight, but doing things like this can go a long way in the erosion process.

[LAblondeGPhi]

Originally Posted by sb55

Yeah I get you. I just don't know how I would help improve the reputation? How does one do that?

The book "I Heart Recruitment" is a great resource:
http://www.amazon.com/Heart-Recruitm...1574530&sr=8-1

Originally Posted by sb55

To everyone who said I was lazy and just wanted the world to revolve around me without putting any work in, I wish you would've read that I said "I'm not sure I have the time/skills/effort to do that. I wouldn't be sure where to begin."
It wasn't me saying I wasn't willing to put in the effort, it was me saying I was unsure I was fit for the job.

Please read posts fully before responding, this was all pretty hateful...

As in life, getting defensive on GreekChat will get you nowhere. One of the greatest lessons I learned in college is that if you're not getting the response you desire to either your words or your actions, then you have to look at yourself for the answer - change your approach, change your actions, change your attitude, change your wording, be open to self-evaluation. This is such a good life lesson when you get passed up for a promotion, when you don't get accepted into a competitive program, or when you don't get elected to a position you want.

Anyway, you're young and you came on here for advice. You got hammered a little bit because much of what you've said comes straight out of the classic cop-out lexicon. I think if you read through some of the posts from women in your situation, you'll understand better why you got the responses you did.

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by sb55

Thanks to everyone who responded! You were really helpful.

To everyone who said I was lazy and just wanted the world to revolve around me without putting any work in, I wish you would've read that I said "I'm not sure I have the time/skills/effort to do that. I wouldn't be sure where to begin."
It wasn't me saying I wasn't willing to put in the effort, it was me saying I was unsure I was fit for the job.

Please read posts fully before responding, this was all pretty hateful...

I feel like I understand your point. I really, really do. I feel like, to a lot of people, the "image" of a sorority is fun. It's about fun, but the fun comes with a lot of hard work. Mixers, formals, date dashes, even initiations don't plan themselves. Someone's putting in the work.

But I understand your concern. What if I don't have enough time to be the one planning the events that make girls come and join? And this could be true. But that doesn't mean that you cannot and should not stick it out and continue supporting however you can. Not everyone has to be on eboard. Heck, there isn't enough room in most houses for everyone to be on eboard.

I think the question you have to ask is, "how can I contribute to this house, and what can I do to make myself a functioning member of this sorority and still be a well-rounded human being?" I can't think of a house on this planet that doesn't want to be "plugged in" to the other aspects of campus life, and academics are always the most important thing.

I do see your point, I'm not trying to snark at you. I just feel like you worded it terribly.

[irishpipes]

It sounds like you feel trapped by the "lifetime commitment" clause of NPC membership. Just remember, dropping is another decision that cannot be undone.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by fascination

"There are a few outgoing people but a lot of the people are sort of introverted, stay-at-home, socially awkward-ish. (I got that vibe from them and some older members have mentioned it too)." Folks, she's 18, and most of us didn't know any better at that age, unless one is from a GLO background. Unfortunately, OP is stuck with what she has - or nothing. She is unlikely to be able to change the personalities of the majority of the existing members into what she is looking for. Whether she is willing to spend the upcoming semesters trying to find (recruit) a pool of potenial new members that would pledge next semester is up to her. Ten new, outgoing ladies could make a huge difference! Best of luck to her, and please don't be too hard on her for her honesty.

Her honesty? She's talking about a group of girls that she hasn't even taken the time to get to know. Even in her quote you mentioned here, she said she "gets that vibe" and she's heard such things from older members - but she hasn't taken the time to even determine if it's true.

And even if it is, people can change. She doesn't have to make them something they're not, but being introverted can be temporary if you (general you) have sisters around you who push (not force) you to do things outside your comfort zone. When you have a group behind you, you're more likely to do things you normally wouldn't.

Maybe some of these girls have never stepped foot inside a fraternity house, and they just need someone to go with them. Maybe they've never performed on stage, but they'd be willing to participate in a small part for Greek Sing with their sisters cheering them on. You'd be surprised how much people can change when they have a little support from those around them. I've seen it happen.. Both in my sorority, and ouside of it as well.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Her honesty? She's talking about a group of girls that she hasn't even taken the time to get to know. Even in her quote you mentioned here, she said she "gets that vibe" and she's heard such things from older members - but she hasn't taken the time to even determine if it's true.

And even if it is, people can change. She doesn't have to make them something they're not, but being introverted can be temporary if you (general you) have sisters around you who push (not force) you to do things outside your comfort zone. When you have a group behind you, you're more likely to do things you normally wouldn't.

Maybe some of these girls have never stepped foot inside a fraternity house, and they just need someone to go with them. Maybe they've never performed on stage, but they'd be willing to participate in a small part for Greek Sing with their sisters cheering them on. You'd be surprised how much people can change when they have a little support from those around them. I've seen it happen.. Both in my sorority, and ouside of it as well.

I know you didn't mean it this way, but your post reads as "introverted=bad, outgoing = good" as though introverts should go out of their way to change themselves. I agree, that many women benefit from new experiences while supported by their sisters, but maybe the OP should also try to enjoy some of the things her sisters like, too.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I know you didn't mean it this way, but your post reads as "introverted=bad, outgoing = good" as though introverts should go out of their way to change themselves. I agree, that many women benefit from new experiences while supported by their sisters, but maybe the OP should also try to enjoy some of the things her sisters like, too.

Oh, I completely agree.. But her complaint is that they're not doing things with fraternities, going to events, etc., and that they're all the stay-at-home, socially awkward type. And fascination implied that people can't change their personalities, which isn't true.

Only replying based on what's been said

[fascination]

I didn't mean to imply that the current members "can't" change. I said that OP is "unlikely to be able to change the personalities of the majority of the existing members into what she is looking for." The current members are under NO obligation to change for OP and may very well prefer things just the way they are. They were there first, after all. OP knew full well what kind of group she was joining; she just didn't know that she couldn't so easily un-join if she changed her mind. So, while she may not change the current members into the types of personalities with whom she wants to associate, she can make an effort to recruit new members more to her liking. The current members may approve, or they may not. Wish we had a happy, easy answer for her and every unhappy poster, but such is life.

[Cheerio]

Wishy-washy doesn't cut it in the real world. YOU make the decision. YOU are the 'frustrated' one. YOU hold the coin you want to flip.

BTW, are you SURE you aren't in the right sorority? Even though you say this group is the one you 'really didn't like', you sound as apathetic as you say your sisters are.

Your 'loving the idea of sorority' does not translate into being willing to work for their betterment and your own.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by sb55

I love the idea of sorority but I just feel so frustrated. I'm generally a nice person, but whenever I tell someone I'm in my sorority, they get that "Oh...you're in *that" sorority" face. I'm really sick of that and I don't want people to judge me anymore.

They're not judging you because you're in "that" sorority. They're judging you because you show by your voice, body language and general demeanor that you're ashamed to be in "that" sorority. People don't like people who aren't comfortable with their selves and their lives. It makes THEM think about the worst parts of themselves. If anyone actually says "Gamma Gamma Gamma?!??" (GGG in place of your sorority's real name) then you reply "Yeah, Gamma Gamma Gamma. Do you got a problem with that?" Be proud. Get in people's faces. Be so obnoxiously 110% GGG that people want to smack you over the head. Maybe eventually you'll believe it yourself.

Originally Posted by sb55

The biggest issue I have is that I wanted my sorority to be a group of girls that go out and really have fun. There's some sororities on campus who are planning trips with other frats, going out to clubs, going to Renaissance Fairs, even, but my sorority really isn't like that. There are a few outgoing people but a lot of the people are sort of introverted, stay-at-home, socially awkward-ish. (I got that vibe from them and some older members have mentioned it too).

Originally Posted by sb55

Yeah I get you. I just don't know how I would help improve the reputation? How does one do that?

I just gotta say this: if your campus is one where Ren Faire is an acceptable fraternity/sorority activity, you are WAY blowing your sorority's awkwardness out of proportion. It may be the Greek system IN GENERAL is not what you thought it would be, but if you want to stay at this school, it is what it is. Go out with the girls in your chapter who like to go out. Be sociable. And most of all, let everyone know that you're a Gamma Gamma Gamma. IT WILL BE NOTICED, and that will have an effect on how fraternity members and rushees think about your chapter.

This all said, if dance team is going to continue to play a major role in your life to the point that the majority of your free time and weekends will be spent with it, you may be better off dropping out of the sorority. (Hint: if this is a college team and many dance competitions fall at the same time as big Greek-wide events, it may be a subtle way of telling the team members that they need to pick one or the other. This happens with other extracurriculars, i.e. band camp happening the same time as rush week.)

[violetpretty]

Simply put, be the change you want to see in your chapter.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Simply put, be the change you want to see in your chapter.

The last time I said that, people laughed at me.