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  #16  
Old 08-23-2013, 12:26 PM
llrushee llrushee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PearlGirl13 View Post
Strong work - you are beginning to see through the fog of disappointment that was clouding your judgment. Look beyond today and this week and focus on the future.

In keeping with the romance analogy, when my daughter was in this position a couple of weeks ago, I asked her if she wanted to be a bride and have one magical big day by getting a bid from her "favorite" or if she wanted to be married and have a lifetime Greek relationship. If she really wanted to be "married" she needed to shake off her disappointment and remind herself that THEY chose HER.

Step back, take some deep breaths and flip a few pages on your mental calendar. Look a little farther into your own future and I think you will be happy with the choices that you have.

PS - My daughter is totally smitten with the chapter that she almost passed on....
Thank you so much, that was encouraging!
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  #17  
Old 08-23-2013, 12:27 PM
agzg agzg is offline
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Is the new sorority colonizing this fall or next fall?

If it's this fall, and you think it might be an option for you go to the pref party for the chapter you have left. If you don't want to be a member of that chapter, don't sign your pref card.

Last edited by agzg; 08-23-2013 at 12:29 PM.
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  #18  
Old 08-23-2013, 12:30 PM
llrushee llrushee is offline
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Originally Posted by agzg View Post
Is the new sorority colonizing this fall or next fall?

If it's this fall, and you think it might be an option for you go to the pref party for the chapter you have left. If you don't want to be a member of that chapter, don't sign your pref card.
It is next fall.
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  #19  
Old 08-23-2013, 12:31 PM
KDCat KDCat is offline
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Originally Posted by llrushee View Post
I am definitely going to pref night... it's just I'm worried that I'll go to bid day, spend time with them and don't click at all. I will definitely/most likely re-rush as a junior, but at the same time I don't know if that is looked down upon. I have always wanted to be in greek life for the sisterhood, leadership, networking, philanthropies, the endless service opportunities, etc.
My suggestion would be to take your bid and work your butt off through the entire new member period. Go to everything you can and get to know as many people in your NM class and your chapter as you can. Stick with it through the entire NM period. Try looking at all of the good things that you can think of about the chapter.

BTW, I never "clicked" with my whole chapter. I did "click" with individual women. I'm a socially awkward penquin and an introvert. I don't walk into groups and just feel like I'm home. I have to work at it. If you haven't had that experience, working at it might feel strange to you. I have found, though, that if you show up consistently, work on group projects consistently, and try to be a positive member of the group, you will find your way "home." Sometimes I've been "home," before I even knew I was "home."

You should also know that every chapter for every sorority is different. If you are looking at a lifetime membership experience, you will find lots of different women as an alumnae. I recently joined a CAB for a new chapter of KD -- the CAB is made up of alums from different chapters. Most of us are local, but we're still really different. The engineers and science majors from MST (me!) are very "laid back in Levis." The alums from SLU seem like very young executive types. The alums from Mizzou are pretty fabulous -one is a fashion designer and one is in TV as an editor. All very different but all very cool women who it is my privilege to work with. Am I a little more comfortable with the MST alums? Yeah. We have a little more in common. We "click." I really enjoy knowing all of the women from all of the groups, though. It's a privilege.

Last edited by KDCat; 08-23-2013 at 12:34 PM.
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  #20  
Old 08-23-2013, 12:34 PM
agzg agzg is offline
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Originally Posted by llrushee View Post
It is next fall.
Ah, OK. So this gives you more time to make a decision. That's a good thing.

Go to pref, try to enjoy it. Others are right - this may be your only opportunity. You can't really bank on something that might be happening a year from now.
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  #21  
Old 08-23-2013, 01:15 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Originally Posted by agzg View Post
Ah, OK. So this gives you more time to make a decision. That's a good thing.

Go to pref, try to enjoy it. Others are right - this may be your only opportunity. You can't really bank on something that might be happening a year from now.
Also, you never know. Sometimes colonizations don't happen. This is rare but it does occur. So unless you have a deep personal connection to the sorority scheduled to colonize (i.e. you're a sextuple legacy or something) and that is the only group you would ever want, I would not even factor that into consideration. It's a YEAR away.

Go to pref at the sorority that invited you and pretend it is the ONLY sorority on campus. If you still can't feel comfy there even in that mindset, don't sign your bid card. But know that if you do that there's a big chance you won't be Greek at all, ever.
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  #22  
Old 08-23-2013, 01:25 PM
agzg agzg is offline
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Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
Also, you never know. Sometimes colonizations don't happen. This is rare but it does occur. So unless you have a deep personal connection to the sorority scheduled to colonize (i.e. you're a sextuple legacy or something) and that is the only group you would ever want, I would not even factor that into consideration. It's a YEAR away.

Go to pref at the sorority that invited you and pretend it is the ONLY sorority on campus. If you still can't feel comfy there even in that mindset, don't sign your bid card. But know that if you do that there's a big chance you won't be Greek at all, ever.
Right.
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  #23  
Old 08-23-2013, 01:37 PM
OldOleMiss OldOleMiss is offline
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Definitely go to pref you might be surprised. I also went to a large SEC school and I was cut by all of my "top" houses and reluctantly went to the three houses that had invited me back. Only one of the three I "thought" I could see myself in / quasi wanted.... imagine my shock (and delight) when one house that really had not even been on my radar completely moved me to tears on pref night. I had not clicked with any of the girls that had rushed me there, even the girl who prefed me I would be hard pressed to say we had something in common, but sitting there at pref night the house's sisterhood shone through- couple that along with the fact that almost 90% of the chapter personally came up to me and greeted me by name and seemed to not only really like me but genuinely were happy to see me and wanted me there, left me wondering how in the heck I could have overlooked them, and left me wondering how in the heck I ever thought I could have pledged anywhere else.... sometimes pref is a "game changer". Oh and while I never did "click" with a good number of the then actives, my pledge class was BEYOND AWESOME as were girls that I had never even met during rush... dynamics change, pledge classes vary, seniors graduate, new girls pledge, etc... its all a circle... there will always be girls you don't particularly love in ANY house and there will always be girls that will be your closest friends. give it a chance, you might be surprised.
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  #24  
Old 08-25-2013, 08:00 AM
TennesseeKD TennesseeKD is offline
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Just have to put it out there that if this is Tennessee you will have a VERY difficult time as a Junior. Your chances decrease significantly past your soph. year. And ALL the chapters at UT are great in different ways. I'd feel lucky to get a bid from any of them.
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  #25  
Old 08-25-2013, 09:02 AM
PKTKKG PKTKKG is offline
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Best wishes on whatever you decide. Let us know how it works out. Hopefully you will possibly be moving ahead today as I think I know the school. You never know until you try and the advice you have been given here is very sound and reflects the reality of sorority life away from all the craziness of recruitment.
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  #26  
Old 08-26-2013, 07:53 AM
llrushee llrushee is offline
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Originally Posted by TennesseeKD View Post
Just have to put it out there that if this is Tennessee you will have a VERY difficult time as a Junior. Your chances decrease significantly past your soph. year. And ALL the chapters at UT are great in different ways. I'd feel lucky to get a bid from any of them.

It isn't UT. Somewhat close though state-wise!
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  #27  
Old 08-26-2013, 07:55 AM
llrushee llrushee is offline
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Originally Posted by PKTKKG View Post
Best wishes on whatever you decide. Let us know how it works out. Hopefully you will possibly be moving ahead today as I think I know the school. You never know until you try and the advice you have been given here is very sound and reflects the reality of sorority life away from all the craziness of recruitment.
Would love to know which SEC school you think I go to! You can just msg me! I did go to bid day and I am giving them a chance for right now. So far I really haven't felt like I fit in, but then again that was only one day. If it doesn't work out, i'm re-rushing next year (I guess )
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  #28  
Old 08-26-2013, 08:42 AM
DoctorD DoctorD is offline
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I hope you stick it out. I know you're in a chapter who wants you, and you have the opportunity to make an impact on that chapter's history. I imagine you have a very large new member class, too, and if you just look - you'll find your place.

We are more alike than we are different.

When in doubt, talk to your New Member Educator, too. She is already invested in you, and wants you to find your place.
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  #29  
Old 08-26-2013, 09:03 AM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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While you may think three or four years is forever, trust me - it is not. Your membership is for a lifetime. If I hadn't stayed the course, I'd have missed out on so much over the years. DoctorD is completely right: we are more alike than we are different. And you're getting great advice from so many women in this thread; I hope you take it to heart.

You have the opportunity to make lifelong friends and to connect with women of all ages, not merely in your college years, but as long as you live. I regret the things I didn't do in my life far more than those that I did do (with the exception of buying one particular car, because I liked how it looked. That was a Big Mistake. Huge.)
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  #30  
Old 08-26-2013, 09:05 AM
AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
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Just realize that Mississippi is one of the worst places for tent talk. Just give it a little time (more than a week.) You can't pledge anywhere else for a year so there is no where else to go. If you really don't like the group, don't get initiated...but give yourself the chance.
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