What does it say in your by-laws?

[TransferPNM]

Hello, ladies!

I have a question for all who are active members or recent alumni. I know that many sororities move members who get married into "alumni" status by default. However, does your particular sorority have any rule that you cannot initiate a married student (and would this perhaps be different between chapters, or would it be a rule made by headquarters)? I am trying to get a list of which sororities prohibit married students from joining so recruitment goes as smoothly as possible and my special situation doesn't cause any confusion to any party involved.

So far, I've only been told by a friend that Delta Gamma does not initiate married students. If anybody could confirm or deny this, that would be appreciated. What about your sorority?

[angels&angles]

I believe Pi Phi allows married students as active members (one of my sisters got married while still in school and remained active). But really, don't worry about it. This is something that is the actives' jobs to worry about. Wear your wedding ring during rush, and then no one will be confused. Don't make a huge deal about it, but don't hide it. The end.

[Missouri Ivy]

I believe Alpha Phi allows for initiation of married new members. If a collegiate member gets married and wishes to take alumna status instead of remaining active, she may. This is what one of my chapter sisters did.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by TransferPNM

Hello, ladies!

I have a question for all who are active members or recent alumni. I know that many sororities move members who get married into "alumni" status by default. However, does your particular sorority have any rule that you cannot initiate a married student (and would this perhaps be different between chapters, or would it be a rule made by headquarters)? I am trying to get a list of which sororities prohibit married students from joining so recruitment goes as smoothly as possible and my special situation doesn't cause any confusion to any party involved.

So far, I've only been told by a friend that Delta Gamma does not initiate married students. If anybody could confirm or deny this, that would be appreciated. What about your sorority?

This is absolutely not true. Your best bet is to put it on your recruitment registration and recs and then those who can't take you will release you. It isn't a "special" situation and no one will be confused if you do that.

[TransferPNM]

thanks for the responses thus far! I actually ask because one of my closest friends made it all the way to having a bid in her hand, only to be pulled aside by her rho gamma/alpha zeta/etc right before the ceremony to be told national headquarters had declined due to martial status. Her husband was the emergency contact on her application, so it was documented. Definitely just want to avoid that issue entirely. Thanks for the great advice everybody!
If anybody else had information on their sorority, please post!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by TransferPNM

thanks for the responses thus far! I actually ask because one of my closest friends made it all the way to having a bid in her hand, only to be pulled aside by her rho gamma/alpha zeta/etc right before the ceremony to be told national headquarters had declined due to martial status. Her husband was the emergency contact on her application, so it was documented. Definitely just want to avoid that issue entirely. Thanks for the great advice everybody!
If anybody else had information on their sorority, please post!

[aephi alum]

I am not aware of any rule that would prohibit an AEPhi chapter from pledging and initiating a married woman.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Me too

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by TransferPNM

thanks for the responses thus far! I actually ask because one of my closest friends made it all the way to having a bid in her hand, only to be pulled aside by her rho gamma/alpha zeta/etc right before the ceremony to be told national headquarters had declined due to martial status. Her husband was the emergency contact on her application, so it was documented. Definitely just want to avoid that issue entirely. Thanks for the great advice everybody!
If anybody else had information on their sorority, please post!

It may be that they have to get permission and that permission was denied for whatever reasons but that doesn't mean that there was a rule against ANY married PNM. You and she may not know the whole story. Just be up front and the groups will handle it from their end.

[TransferPNM]

Originally Posted by Titchou

It may be that they have to get permission and that permission was denied for whatever reasons but that doesn't mean that there was a rule against ANY married PNM. You and she may not know the whole story. Just be up front and the groups will handle it from their end.

Excellent point! I was comforting a crying friend. She could have very well not heard the whole situation or understood due to her heightened emotions! Our she may not have been told the whole story.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by TransferPNM

thanks for the responses thus far! I actually ask because one of my closest friends made it all the way to having a bid in her hand, only to be pulled aside by her rho gamma/alpha zeta/etc right before the ceremony to be told national headquarters had declined due to martial status.

Which ceremony are we talking about here?

If she was told this on bid day, it's hard to believe. Even if a sorority had a rule against this, I can't imagine national headquarters had gone through every new member's information for this one particular chapter, contacted the chapter, which in turn contacted the rho gamma, who then contacted the new member, all within a day or two. I guess it's POSSIBLE, but something sounds off here.

Is your friend telling you the truth? Did she maybe not want to feel completely humiliated, so she made up some technicality as the reason she didn't receive a bid? Again, I'm not saying it's not possible, but I don't believe there are any sororities that restrict married women from joining. A chapter may have an unwritten rule against it, but I don't think there would be such a rule at the national level.

But I've been proved wrong before

[TransferPNM]

Bid day ceremony!

Is it bad that was the first thing I assumed too? I felt bad, but I heard some pretty wacky stories across the board that week, to be honest. It wasn't until one of my classmates mentioned it after witnessing it that I fully believed it. I then saw the apologetic emails come through for a couple weeks after the situation occurred from her rho gamma and almost-sisters. The school completed recruitment within a week, if I remember correctly. I believe the last round occurred the night before the bid day, so it's possible correspondence didn't occur.
But it's good to know that so many people don't see this as any issue at all - across the board! I don't know if that's because things have changed over the past 6 years or if it was just a poorly-dealt-with precedent at the school. Or, like you mention, it may have been an "unwritten" thing.
I, too, found it to be a bizarre thing for nationals to initiate, as the mission statements often talk about the inclusion of all types of women. But I thought it may have something to do with an "alumni" status if anything at all. Thanks so much for your feedback; it's much appreciated!

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Which ceremony are we talking about here?

If she was told this on bid day, it's hard to believe. Even if a sorority had a rule against this, I can't imagine national headquarters had gone through every new member's information for this one particular chapter, contacted the chapter, which in turn contacted the rho gamma, who then contacted the new member, all within a day or two. I guess it's POSSIBLE, but something sounds off here.

Is your friend telling you the truth? Did she maybe not want to feel completely humiliated, so she made up some technicality as the reason she didn't receive a bid? Again, I'm not saying it's not possible, but I don't believe there are any sororities that restrict married women from joining. A chapter may have an unwritten rule against it, but I don't think there would be such a rule at the national level.

But I've been proved wrong before

[thetalady]

If you are rushing at a campus with sorority housing, be sure to take that into account. If you are able to be initiated into a chapter with a house, they will likely have live in requirements... requirements that will NOT include bringing a husband along! Being married will not be an acceptable reason to get out of your obligation.

[TransferPNM]

Originally Posted by thetalady

If you are rushing at a campus with sorority housing, be sure to take that into account. If you are able to be initiated into a chapteorr with a house, they will likely have live in requirements... requirements that will NOT include bringing a husband along! Being married will not be an acceptable reason to get out of your obligation.

Thanks for that! My husband and I have heavily discussed and researched over the past year. We have definitely decided it's a perfect fit for me and for our situation. My campus has so many different options!

[Titchou]

OK, first class in terminology. Women graduates of sororities are "alumnae" not "alumni."
The singular for the female is alumna and for a male is alumnus. If you are talking about a woman, such as myself, who is a grad of a school which has both genders, then yes, I am an alumnus of the University of Alabama and belong to the Alumni Association, and an alumna of Delta Gamma who belongs to the local Alumnae chapter.