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  #1  
Old 01-25-2001, 03:45 PM
Angel541982 Angel541982 is offline
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Post Should I try again?

Hi!
I recently participated in formal rush at my school, and unfortunately in ended in disappointment for me. There are 6 houses at my school and they all have different GPA requirements. After my first semester I earned a 2.6 GPA. (It turns out now that one of my grades was wrong and I now have a 2.83 GPA). My first choice house had a 2.5 GPA requirement. I know several girls in the house and that is the house I know I belong in, but the girl that took me around the house and I did not connect to say the least. Our interests were very different. But I know as a whole I fit in with the people in that house. My second and third choice houses have 2.75 GPA requirements, which I did not make according to my first GPA. I did not get asked back to my top three houses, but I continued to go through rush. On the last day of rush I had a few other houses that were interested in me but I went with my heart and decided that I didn't want to be in just any sorority, I really wanted to be an Alpha Phi. I would have been happy as a Delta Gamma or Kappa Kappa Gamma too. So I decided not to accept any bids from any of the other houses and I'd just rush again next year. It was a really hard decision because I ended up having friends that went to every house. The whole thing still bothers me, but I think I am happy with the decision that I made. But I have been thinking lately, when I rush again next year will these sororities think any less of me because I didn't get in on the first try? I'd hate to walk in with a strike already against me, and set myself up for disappointment again. I know that sororities aren't suppose to disclose how they pick members, but could somebody tell me if I'd have less of a chance getting in because I was rejected my first time? I know that this is something I really, really want, but I just want to know if it's worth trying it again. I'd really appreciate anyone's suggestions. Thanks!
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  #2  
Old 01-26-2001, 11:41 AM
imsohappythatiama imsohappythatiama is offline
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Hi Angel--

This is a sad situation--grade changes that would have made a difference are always hard to swallow.

But the good news is that, at least in my opinion, "not getting in" the first year of Rush won't be anything that will be held against you should you decide to rush next year.

I went to a university with a VERY large Greek life--one of the largest in the country, and during my first year of rush, I got "cross-cut" which is this ridiculous thing that happens to some girls, and is just a fluke. So I didn't get a bid anywhere, even though I went to my top 2 houses of pref night. Go figure.

Like you, all of my friends had pledged various houses, and I felt sad, since I was kind of left behind, and I didn't know what would happen if I went through Rush again the following year--another major disappointment?

Well, long story (sort of) short, I did go through again the next year, and let me tell you that it was a GREAT experience! I really had much more to talk about with the actives, and felt that I was really making informed decisions about my regrets list. I ended up pledging (and joining) the house I had pref'd my first year--KKG. In no way did they (or any other house I visited) hold my freshman year Rush experience against me!

Here's the lowdown: everyone in every house knows that Rush sucks, and that sometimes crappy things happen to nice girls during Rush. So don't sweat it. And for goodness sakes, when you go through Rush next year, don't tell your first-year-rush-story in detail to every active who rushes you. If asked, just say that it didn't work out, and you wanted to take a year to get adjusted to college before you dedicated yourself to any one organization. Then let them know that you now feel ready to be a highly active member of X house.

Best of luck to you, Angel! I hope my story will give you hope! And girl, take this next year to get those grades up! That will serve you well, both in Rush, and long after--when you have to go out and get a job, or get into grad school believe me!

And I'm glad to hear that you liked KKG a lot--if I can give you any more KKG information, or you have any questions about Kappa on a national level, don't hesistate to contact me!

Best of luck to you! Keep us posted.

Panhellenically,

imsohappythatiama

------------------
Oh, Kappa Kappa Kappa Gamma,
I'm so happy that I am a
Kappa Kappa Kappa Gamma,
Nobody knows . . . how
happy I am!
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  #3  
Old 01-26-2001, 11:52 AM
twinstars twinstars is offline
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Angry

i don't want to be horribly discouraging, but next year at rush time you'll be a year older, and this can work against you. i assume you'll be a sophomore next time?

i go to a small college with only 5 sororities. the rushees are very predominately freshmen. this year we had about 15 sophomores enter rush, most of them having fallen through the year before or not rushed due to grades. only one of them ended up getting a bid. if the sororities you're aiming for usually make quota with no problem, it may be unlikely that they'll take any sophomores, no matter how much you fit in or how much they like you. this year my house put all sophomores at the very bottom of the bid list, no matter how high their scores. there are many reasons why sororities may try to avoid taking older rushees... mostly financial reasons.

it's not so much a matter of being cut earlier... but the second time you rush, the girls will remember that they didn't want you last time, and you'll have to demonstrate why they should want you NOW. if you're still the exact same person, i don't see why their opinion of you would change. there's no rule that says you'll automatically be cut if you have been in years before... but remember what i said above. if they didn't want you then, you'll have to show them why they should want you now. if you fail to do so, you will probably get cut a second time.

i don't know about your particular school... it may be nearly impossible for a sophomore to get in, or it might be no biggie at all. how did the older rushees fare this year? are the pledge classes at alpha phi, kkg and dg filled with all freshmen, or is there a variety of classes represented?

good luck if you decide to try again. you really should take a closer look at how things are on your own campus. it may be nothing at all like how my school is.

[This message has been edited by twinstars (edited January 26, 2001).]
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  #4  
Old 01-26-2001, 01:17 PM
bucutie02 bucutie02 is offline
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Hi Angel541982,
First off I would just like to say that I am not in a sorority. I had planned on rushing this spring, but because of grades i decided to wait until the fall. I am a sophomore now and will be a junior this fall. I definitely agree with iamsohappythatiama, you should really go for it again! It is unfortunate that they made a mistake with your GPA- but atleast it went up higher (i wish they would do that for mine too! ) Anyway, what I am trying to say is that it really does depend on your school so if i were you- i would find out what most sororities do on pledging sophomores or older. If they have no problem with it, then you should give it another chance- especially since you had that mix up with your grades. At my school- they do not care how old you are, or what year you are. I think that is wonderful because to be honest with you- that shouldnt matter anyway. If they see that you would be a great asset to their sisterhood- then i bet they would rather have you be a part of their sorority for two years, than just let you go because you're a sophomore and only have two years left. My friend is going through rush right now and she is a SENIOR- and one sorority already gave her a bid!! That was her second choice, so she is still waiting on her first choice- so you see, it really depends on your school! To comment on what twinstars said- i am entitled to my own opinion and i think she was terribly discouraging, you did say that on the last day you had a few houses that were interested in you- so maybe you will click with them more next time and they will surely remember you as well!! It could be that your second and third choice cut you because of grades. I know they are really strict when it comes to grades for formal rush. I want you to have a good attitude about it and rush next time! I will hopefully be rushing this fall as well! I wish you the greatest of luck, and let us know what your decision turns out to be!

------------------
"He is not perfect, you are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other"
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  #5  
Old 01-26-2001, 03:42 PM
shadokat shadokat is offline
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I know that many sororities will cut women just due to the fact that they didn't have good grades, so if your grades went up, you should definitely try again. Just keep a realistic perspective on your mind when going through the process. We have plenty of sophmores go through our rush because women aren't allowed to pledge their first semester.

Best of luck, and let us know how it goes!
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  #6  
Old 01-26-2001, 03:47 PM
soror6 soror6 is offline
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Hey, Angel!
I too think that twinstars is a bit too harsh. I do think that each campus is a bit different, and the way each house goes about their bid/recruitment process is different based on capacity, size of greek life, and other factors at that particular school. Take some time, and check that out. As a member of a BGLO, the entire rush process is a little foreign to me, but I will tell you this....I truly commend you for sticking to your guns and not accepting the bid for a 'consolation' house. Since being in a GLO is a serious sisterhood and should be a lifetime commitment, You should wait for the organization(s) that you have decided would be the best match for you. That type of dedication should overshadow the fact that you are a sophomore-which to me is not that big of an issue. I have always wanted potential members for my organization to be people that are determined, dedicated, and ready to accept the responsibility of being a lifetime member of Delta Sigma Theta, not just a person who wants to be greek because everyone else is doing it at the time. Believe me, the level of seriousness (or lack therof) shows. That should be more of a deciding factor than how old you are! As far as the financial situation goes, any organization that has the opportunity to choose between a Freshman who is not up to the work yet, but will pay her (financial) dues, and a Sophomore who has made a mature decision, is a bit more responsible and pays her dues too would need to pick the Sophomore (in my opinion)! Don't second guess your decision, I think you did the right thing by not accepting the bid to a house that you did not want to be in. That is a lifelong decision, so you should hold out for the house you think is right for you! You seem to be a very mature person that made a very mature decision. In the long run, I am sure you will be respected and rewarded with a bid for the house you desire because the girls in the GLO you are interested in will probably share your beliefs and maturity about their organization and realize what a great asset you would be as a rushee of their sisterhood! Lots of luck to you, angel... Keep your head up and be proud of yourself for being true to you FIRST! Everything else will fall into place

LOL,
Soror6
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
Spring '91
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  #7  
Old 01-26-2001, 08:07 PM
HeidiHo HeidiHo is offline
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My pledge class this past fall had at least six sophmores, including myself, and one junior. Many girls who are seniors & on exec now rushed during their 2nd year. Don't worry about it! Unless you're asked during rush (it is a common question), not everyone will even know.
A few days after my initiation I had a sister come up and say in disbelief "I didn't know you were a sophmore!" Some girls during rush may just assume you are a freshman.
The way I see it, don't make it an issue to yourself & it won't be an issue for others around you.
Best of luck!
Heidi
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  #8  
Old 01-27-2001, 05:21 PM
Angel541982 Angel541982 is offline
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Hi!
I want to thank you all for your wonderful advice. I really appreciate it. I've decided that I will definitely rush again next year. The only bad thing is that we don't have rush in the fall, we only have rush in January, so it'll be awhile. But as one of my friends put it, "Good things come to those who wait, and I'm sure you will appreciate your bid so much more than everyone else next year." I've talked to some people on my campus and not many sophomores usually rush. But my first choice house took 4 sophomores this year, so I guess that's a good sign. And I talked to a girl that's a senior in the house that I really want, and she told me that she didn't get into the house until her sophomore year either; so that gives me hope. It has been a hard couple of weeks because all of my friends get to go out and do cool stuff with their houses, and I admit, I feel a little jealous at times. I just figure everything happens for a reason. This whole experience has made me stronger, and I think it will make me a more aware rushee next year. And I think this whole experience has made me want it more. I've decided that if they don't want me next year, screw 'em; they're not worth it. So again, I want to thank you all for being so understanding!

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  #9  
Old 01-27-2001, 09:17 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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Angel--you've got a great attitude! The only thing I could add is that to really make yourself look good, get involved in some solid activities and become known as a hard worker! Maybe there will be some sorority girls in those activities who'll say next spring, "We've just got to get Angel--put her at the top of our list!"
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  #10  
Old 01-28-2001, 03:54 AM
Angel541982 Angel541982 is offline
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Carnation-
Thanks. I have gotten involved in a lot of activities. I am the vice president of my hall government, I played intramural sports and I'm a freshman ambassador. It's not that I'm not well rounded or the type of person without a social life, I'm still confused why my first choice house cut me. I mean the girl that hosted me had absolutely nothing in common with me, and she didn't even try to show interest in things that I'm passionate about. She told me that she loved art and theater, and unfortuanely I don't know much about those topics. So I was interested and I asked her questions about art and theater. I wasn't going to try to be someone else and try to act like that I know about art and theater, because I don't know much about them, and I knew that I would be asking to be caught in a lie. But I really appreciate your advice. At this point I'm going to apply to be an RA for the first semester of next year, so that can be an additional activity too.

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  #11  
Old 01-28-2001, 05:29 PM
Lil_G Lil_G is offline
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Hey angel, your story is very insightful and relates a little to my personal experiences (although from a male perspective).

I completely agree 100% with what soro6 said and that you should always listen to your heart. Patience is one of the greatest virtues an individual can have.

After I depledged a fraternity just a day within being initiated I was clueless to what I wanted to do. I had so many conflicting feelings towards each fraternity that I ended up deciding to start a new one instead.
Unlike in the US, the greek way of life in Canada is nothing in comparison. I don't think there's a single university in Canada that has a greek student body of more than 5% of the total student population.

The general perception of fraternities and a lot of negative views toward fraternities by many of my friends made this process even more difficult than it is. I figured that by providing a new alternative to an otherwise pitiful greek community is the most I can do.

It's now been almost a year and a half since I've made this decision and our group still hasn't colonized. There were times when I was like, "F#ck this", why am I wasting my time? This $hit is not going to work...I almost threw in the towel on a number of occasions but knew that if i did i would probably regret it the rest of my life. So i perserved, stuck with it, putting up with all the adversity we faced, and are now very close to becoming a new fraternity on campus.

What i've achieved so far required a lot of sacrifice and more than anything else a lot of patience. Seeing other ppl join fraternities after you is not easy but as long as you stay motivated and committed you should be alright.

I only have a year left part-time. I continually get asked by ppl why I'm doing this - not once have I questioned myself or my efforts.

So what I'm trying to say is to not get discouraged. Try to get to know the one sister who dissed you in maybe bridging the gap a bit. Try hard to get to know some of the girls that you get along well with and i'm sure they convince the others to let you in. It doesn't matter how old you are when you join, it's what you do afterwards that counts.

"The more blood and sweat in the battle, the greater the victory."
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