D&R Random

[Mizeree I2K]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

LOL if someone would have asked me the same question let's say like, 6 years ago or more, my reply would have been the same or similar to yours. Be careful when you say that. Just because she doesn't believe in premarital sex, and you do, doesn't necessarily mean the two of you wouldn't be "compatible".

Don't pass up a good thing when you see it, because you'll find upon meeting (and getting to know) the right woman that your entire mindset on a lot of things (including sex) will change. I've learned that some of the best gifts come in the most interesting packages.

But this is like forcing the compatibilty. The first time a female told me that she was a Christian and meant it by not giving it up, I bounced. I didn't even waste her time or mine. I'm just trippin, because you said y'all road trip a lot and spend a lot of time at Niagara Falls, assuming y'all sleep in the same bed. That in itself doesn't make sense. If you sleep with your girl and you're not fuckn her, what are y'all doing? -- staring at the ceiling, and speaking in tongues? LOL! I'm fuckn with you about the tongues part, but for real question to the rest.

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I'm not sure if you directed this specifically to Phrozen Sands, but I'll answer from my perspective. The only people I've ever come across who are saving themselves for marriage are extremely devout Christians. I am not Christian. Therefore, they'd probably be incompatible with me for that reason alone. If, for some statistically unlikely reason, I meet a non-Christian who is saving himself (because, lets face it, it's almost always women who make these public announcements as adults), he'd probably be incompatible with me for reasons beyond that
So, Munchkin would dip. But, again, it's unlikely that such a man would even be compatible with me once we got past niceties.

CTFU!!!! I feel you. But like you said, I don't know a dude who's saving himself for marriage, although there are some. I think that's more of a female thing. Me and my girl have been going through our premarital counseling with her pastor, and she tried holding out on me about a week ago, because of what he was pulling out the Bible, which I would have been cool with knowing that we're getting married in May. But I asked her how much sense does that make when we've been fuckn since we've been together, and then right after we left our first counseling session with the pastor LOL.

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

(i.e., sex is very important to me and its part of chemistry).

Me too, and I feel you LOL!
http://youtu.be/5cSbB_0MeZo

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Mizeree I2K

http://youtu.be/5cSbB_0MeZo

You actually make me believe in reincarnation. No one can be this stupid in one lifetime. Are you always this dumb and perverted or are you just making a special effort today?

[Mizeree I2K]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

You actually make me believe in reincarnation. No one can be this stupid in one lifetime. Are you always this dumb and perverted or are you just making a special effort today?

http://youtu.be/3uJCKcEmqvE

[XAntoftheSkyX]

I've completely forgotten how to do the whole 'asking someone out' thing.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by StealthMode

ETA: Two of my non-Christian friends are living together and have been together for just over 3 years--still waiting for marriage. I don't understand how they (don't) do it. At all. They sleep together and even shower together but still hold out. I'm not sure what confuses me more--why they would be naked around each other when they are trying not to have sex or how they refrain from having sex when they're constantly naked around each other.

Nothing against people who prefer to save themselves for marriage. I can respect that. But, I can't get past what you posted here about your friends. I think what a lot of Christians do is they try to follow what the Bible says by not having sex, but at the same time, they do other things that are totally against what the Bible teaches. If they're living together, sleeping in the same bed, have seen each other naked, and shower together, then why not just have sex. They're already doing everything that the Bible teaches against.

I remember when I was at Vanderbilt, my ex was one of those Christians who was trying to save herself for marriage. Funny thing is she would do everything else under the sun. I guess what I'm saying, if they're going to save themselves for marriage, then why not follow the other rules the Bible teaches?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by StealthMode

LOL I remember you giving me that answer--and I'm sure that post is less than 6 years old.

I knew it was around the end of 2007ish/08ish, that I changed. So, I think you're right, it may have been a little less than 6-years ago.

Originally Posted by Mizeree I2K

But this is like forcing the compatibilty.

Oh okay.

Originally Posted by Mizeree I2K

The first time a female told me that she was a Christian and meant it by not giving it up, I bounced. I didn't even waste her time or mine.

I agree here. If I was still single, the first time a woman told me she wasn't a "Christian, and meant it", I'd tell the waiter/waitress to bring the bill, and a doggie/to go bag -"let me get your coat..." -cut that mess off right then and there. But I would know that before I wasted my time and money.

Originally Posted by Mizeree I2K

I'm just trippin, because you said y'all road trip a lot and spend a lot of time at Niagara Falls, assuming y'all sleep in the same bed. That in itself doesn't make sense. If you sleep with your girl and you're not fuckn her, what are y'all doing?

Depends on the mood. Sometimes we sit back and laugh at your dumb azz posts. Keep up the good work LOL!

[StealthMode]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

I think what a lot of Christians do is they try to follow what the Bible says by not having sex, but at the same time, they do other things that are totally against what the Bible teaches. If they're living together, sleeping in the same bed, have seen each other naked, and shower together, then why not just have sex. They're already doing everything that the Bible teaches against.

While I don't disagree, you did read the first sentence where I said neither of them are Christian, right?

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I agree here. If I was still single, the first time a woman told me she wasn't a "Christian, and meant it", I'd tell the waiter/waitress to bring the bill, and a doggie/to go bag -"let me get your coat..." -cut that mess off right then and there. But I would know that before I wasted my time and money.

That sounds like a song. Oh wait: http://youtu.be/1KAzX3i5aeU

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

I think what a lot of Christians do is they try to follow what the Bible says by not having sex, but at the same time, they do other things that are totally against what the Bible teaches.

While I agree with this part of your post, you also need to understand that some people have other reasons for not having premarital sex that are not just spiritually based.

I look forward to sex just like the next woman. It's just that I think it is misused as much as it is enjoyed. I just don't think physical intimacy (sex) should be introduced prematurely. I believe it is appropriate only after a permanent link has been established. I just believe that premarital sex for a lot of couples creates a less-than-stable platform for the rest of the realtionship to function on. I've been there one time before, and I'm not going there again.

With that said, for me, my first non-negotiable is that he is a believer who has a committed relationship with Christ. Faithful, honest, loving and having a sense of vision is another non-negotiable at the top of my list.

I know as a woman, that selfish, sex crazed men will get rid of themselves when they can't get sex from a woman they are interested in. Anyone can maintain a facade for a certain length of time, but patience is a revealer. If you (in general) wait, patterns of consistency and inconsistency will eventually surface. If a man is truly mine, he will be there when the time is right with or without premarital sex.

When you (in general) "fall in love", patience is not one of the things you feel. That's because "falling in love" and love are two different issues. "Falling in love" is about how I feel. Love is what I do for others. When it is love, waiting won't seem long or unreasonable.

[AGDee]

Some people are smart enough to wait until they're willing for their partner to be the parent of their child. Abstinence is the only 100% effective method of birth control. Every other method has resulted in children. I'm lucky my "one in a million" happened with the man I was marrying. Aside from any moral or religious reasons, being prepared to deal with the possible consequences is a very good reason to postpone intercourse.

[StealthMode]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Abstinence is the only 100% effective method of birth control. Every other method has resulted in children.

This is the reason of the couple I mentioned in the previous post. There be some moral reasons they are both struggling with but bottom line (even though they do want to get married), she is terrified of getting pregnant before they are financially stable and ready for children.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

I remember when I was at Vanderbilt, my ex was one of those Christians who was trying to save herself for marriage. Funny thing is she would do everything else under the sun. I guess what I'm saying, if they're going to save themselves for marriage, then why not follow the other rules the Bible teaches?

You went to Vanderbilt? Nashville, right? My brother and his wife graduated from Meharry. You know about Meharry, right?

Originally Posted by StealthMode

That sounds like a song. Oh wait: http://youtu.be/1KAzX3i5aeU

LOL loved it!

[StealthMode]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

LOL loved it!

So did I. Got quite a few years of username off that joint. My favorite part is when the applause is hella delayed because the whole crowd says "Ooooohhh daaaaaang!"

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by StealthMode

LOL I remember you giving me that answer--and I'm sure that post is less than 6 years old.

You know, I've come across a few non-Christians who have made that choice. It's more common than people think (just like devout Christians who absolutely don't want to wait is also common). I remember the first time I posted I had made the decision to wait before I became a Christian. A user (I think valkyrie) couldn't even wrap her head around it--her response sounded so confused.

ETA: Two of my non-Christian friends are living together and have been together for just over 3 years--still waiting for marriage. I don't understand how they (don't) do it. At all. They sleep together and even shower together but still hold out. I'm not sure what confuses me more--why they would be naked around each other when they are trying not to have sex or how they refrain from having sex when they're constantly naked around each other.

Oh, I miss Valkyrie on GC.

In my very limited experience with adult virgins, the ones who are the loudest about it are Christian women. Wanting to avoid pregnancy and stds is also a valid reason, but no one talks about that nearly as openly.

Also, I just find it so personal that I'm pretty turned off when someone feels the need to announce it when no one cares. Apparently my asshole cousin and his fiancée are waiting--because they're talking about it on Facebook. She joined this group called "Black and Saving It Until Marriage"--what does one have to do with the other? it just seems like the announcement is a status symbol in some Christian churches and communities, when it's no ones business.

[KSUViolet06]

^^^Seriously. For example, no one would EVER make a group titled "Black and typically giving out goods on the first date and proud of it!"

Personal choices like that really don't need to be publicized.


Another interesting note: I have Jewish and Muslim friends who have chosen to wait. I've noticed that you NEVER see/hear Jewish or Muslim women discussing that. It's just something they do, not a status symbol or something that needs to be talked about all the time.

[Psi U MC Vito]

My phone does not like quotes but I do have a question based on comments made by PB and CG. Why is your partner being a Christian a non negotiable for you or some people in general?