Sisters raising money for charitable causes

[kddani]

This came up in an LJ community, thought it might be interesting to bring up here.

A girl is trying to raise money for a walk in support of a certain cause. She was upset because only 2 of her sisters have given any money towards her cause. She implies that this (sisters not giving her money) isn't in line with the ideals of sisterhood and lifelong friendship.

Did you all shell out some bucks if someone was raising money for a cause (a non sorority sponsored activity)? Did you do it every time you were asked? Do you think not giving money (at the end of a semster, no less) isn't in line with the ideals of sisterhood and friendship?

[tunatartare]

I think it varies on a case-by-case basis. If the person who is asked is in a bad financial situation and can't afford to donate money, then no, I don't think that it doesn't show sisterhood. If every person in a sorority asked every member to donate money to their cause, then not everyone might be able to afford it. I know from personal experience that when people ask for donations, instead of saying something like "donate what you wish," they will oftentimes ask you for a specific amount, which can be kinda high.

[winneythepooh7]

If it's a non-sorority related event, I think it is up to the person, as well as how much they want to give. If the org. is sponsoring an event, then I think it is certainly within that person's obligations as a member of that group to contribute. However an established, affordable amount should be set up ahead of time. Now if said person's sisters can not contribute even a small amount but have money for the bar and the mall, I can see why this person be a bit perturbed!!

[CarolinaCutie]

Originally posted by winneythepooh7
If it's a non-sorority related event, I think it is up to the person, as well as how much they want to give. If the org. is sponsoring an event, then I think it is certainly within that person's obligations as a member of that group to contribute. However an established, affordable amount should be set up ahead of time. Now if said person's sisters can not contribute even a small amount but have money for the bar and the mall, I can see why this person be a bit perturbed!!

I agree with this. I would never expect all of my sisters to donate, but if they are spending their money elsewhere and not giving even a minimal amount, I would be sort of offended that they were not supporting me. Not sure I'd go so far as to say it violates sisterhood though.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Sometimes I donate, but usually I don't. I think that each person has to decide what is important to her and donate accordingly. To say that "not giving money (at the end of a semester, no less) isn't in line with the ideals of sisterhood and friendship" is ridiculous and immature. We all have priorities such as rent, utilities, loans, bills, etc. Sometimes charity takes a back seat. I wish I had money for everyone who asked, but I don't. Friends understand that, and they don't try to solicit contributions by questioning your friendship or sisterhood.


I made a decision a long time ago that I will only donate to a handful of legitimate charities because I know someone who raised a substantial amount of money for an organization that turned out to be fraudulent. Do your research if you want to make a donation. Make sure your hard earned money is going to a legitimate cause. I know that read like a PSA, but it is important to consider.

[33girl]

Originally posted by kddani
This came up in an LJ community, thought it might be interesting to bring up here.

A girl is trying to raise money for a walk in support of a certain cause. She was upset because only 2 of her sisters have given any money towards her cause. She implies that this (sisters not giving her money) isn't in line with the ideals of sisterhood and lifelong friendship.

Did you all shell out some bucks if someone was raising money for a cause (a non sorority sponsored activity)? Did you do it every time you were asked? Do you think not giving money (at the end of a semster, no less) isn't in line with the ideals of sisterhood and friendship?

I think people who join LJ communities or other online MBs/communities (even if it is for their sorority) ONLY to get people to donate money are far more not in line with the ideals of sisterhood and friendship.

Not to imply that this is what the person in question did, but this is something that really chaps my hide. I don't care if you are doing it for a "good cause" and these people are your sisters, the fact is all they have to go by is a name on a screen, especially if they don't contribute anything to the community otherwise. It would be one thing if (for example) AlphaFrog asked me to help her with donations for breast cancer or something, I would...but if someone who's never posted on here before came on and asked me to donate "because we're sisters"? Umm sorry NO.

Now as far as when my bricks-and-mortar (LOL) chapter sisters had a cause or a philanthropy for one of their other groups and asked me to donate? If I had the money, yes. But we were all broke all the time so I don't recall anyone ever being offended if someone didn't.

[Tom Earp]

In todays economy, a persons expendable dollars only go so far.

Calling them un-sisterly is a bit extreme even though I am sure it hurt them.

I am sure it did hurt them somewhat feeling that they could depend on them. But, I try to spend what I can on My Fraternity Chairitys when I can.

Owning a small business, beleive me I get it almost daily. I have what I donate to and that is all.

[adpiucf]

How great of a hypothetical sister is she if she is badmouthing her sorority to strangers on the internet?

Membership in the same organization doesn't afford anyone the right to control my purse strings for their various causes, just as I don't have to contribute cash to every 5K run my coworkers participate in or every candy sale their precious kiddies get suckered into. A lot of employers have no solicitation rules, and I feel that same courtesy should apply to college students.

We all have the right to come to work or chapter meeting, promote our "extracurriculars" and respect that others have the right to not participate in our pet causes. It's not my role to fund your cause if I'm not interested, and I'm not a bad person for not doing it and then spending $10 on a glass of wine at the bar to destress from the week. We all have our own priorities. You want to run for cancer, go for it and good luck. Raise the money. It's not my problem if you're $5 short, and it doesn't mean I'm not out there volunteering in my community or contributing to the causes I hold dear.

[winneythepooh7]

I know it's not the same as a "charitable cause" but recently within my own chapter, the alumnae were asked to donate money to the undergrads to help them pay their rent in the house because it has been raised substantially. A bunch of emails went around implying that if alumnae didn't contribute they weren't being "sisterly" and blah de blah de blah. I think this is pure and utter BS and it is kinda the same as people soliciting for a "charitable cause". I give what I can, when I can, but it has to be something I believe in, and reputable. By calling someone not sisterly, that is a disgrace.

I think it's crappy for anyone to say you're unsisterly for not doing whatever it is they are wanting you to do. I never ran into this type of situation exactly, but I know in my chapter there were several girls who were not in the best of financial situations and to say they were unsisterly for not contributing extra is just wrong.
We had a sister one time come in to an exec meeting saying we were all horrible sisters because we hadn't finished our scrapbook pages by her deadline. That made me mad........I would be especially mad if someone said the same because I couldn't afford to give any extra money to a special cause.

[CarolinaDG]

I would hope that people would pull together and give whatever nickels/dimes/pennies they had, but I totally understand a college student not having any money to give. We once raised $600 for Dance Marathon strictly off of spare change raised by the sorority. People were coming to my room so proud of how much they raised, it was really cool to see.

However, I think the other side is that the sister wanting the money needs to be a little more understanding as well. It sucks for her, but the fact of the matter is that there have been a couple of times where one of my sisters has done something that I didn't support just because it wasn't as high of a priority to me as it was to them, as bad as that sounds. I went to a large school, so the amount of times I was hit up for money for Dance Marathon/Derby Days/ADPi McDonald House/Cancer/PUSH America/etc... was insane. I perfectly understand people not giving because they've given so much. One year, we had Derby Days, Turtle Tug, and PUSH America in the same week... people picked which one of the three they were going to contribute the bulk of their time to. I think it's the same for giving money. With so many requests, you have to make choices.

[alphaalpha]

Originally posted by CarolinaDG
With so many requests, you have to make choices.

I think this statement applies to a lot of situations. i have been asked for money so many times by my chapter and every time i have politely explained that i was unemployed/employed but barley able to cover my own expenses that i can give a few bucks. So much so that i have a girl call me, ask me for money and explain to me how i can budget my money. ( its really hard to Budget money when you make like 400 a month and rent is 500) Now she was probably some new student who was just doing what others asked her, but i can not beleive the attempts people have made.

This also goes with time. I have been hit up for volunteering and there are causes that i think are worthy, but if i have limited time or simply my energy goes to job hunting and can not be given to all the activities that come along. BUt also with time, when i was an active there were a lot of sisters who would call me unsisterly cause i did not do what i thought they should do. IE, i didn't go to their church activity, or i did not take their section of the class that we are both taking. I mean, it is just plain rude to think that your issue is more important that other peoples. Their issue might be good, however it might NOT be RIGHT FOR ME!!!

[AOIIalum]

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
Sometimes I donate, but usually I don't. I think that each person has to decide what is important to her and donate accordingly.

Bingo. We get hit up to donate to more things than I ever dreamed imaginable. Then, there's the fundraising that the rugrats are "asked" to do for various school and extracurricular events. If we gave to everyone and everything that asked us, we'd be broke.

While I'm on a roll, we have a family rule of not supporting any phone or door-to-door solicitations (even if it's from a pet philanthropic cause). Makes life a little easier during charity walk and sports fundraising seasons.

[PM_Mama00]

For me it would depend on the cause. I don't have much money so I feel bad every year when one of my sisters does the 30k (?) walk for Breast Cancer. It's not that I don't care about Breast Cancer, but I've never been personally affected by it so I'd be more willing to give to Children's Miracle Network (because as a Phi Mu I signed on to support them) or American Cancer Association because I've had an aunt pass away from Brain Cancer and an uncle who had lung cancer. For me it's what hits closer to home. I hope that doesn't sound bad.

Plus, most of my donations to CMN during my collegiate experience came from my parents. I don't have one of those families where I can just go to and be like "Hey can you donate for this cause?"

[tunatartare]

Originally posted by PM_Mama00
Plus, most of my donations to CMN during my collegiate experience came from my parents. I don't have one of those families where I can just go to and be like "Hey can you donate for this cause?"

That sounds sooo familiar. When we did Relay for Life with my sorority, a lot of the donations came from mummy and daddy.