D&R Random

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

Thanks, CG! It's a crazy, hectic week with all the last minute details but it's great.

lol
Ya know, I was just thinking that you've got to be pulling your hair out right about now. I'm glad you're not letting it stress you out, though.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

....and who on Saturday will re-marry and will happily wear my ring.

I just saw this! Congrats, man.

Originally Posted by AGDee

So I asked Work Guy out and he said yes.

LOL No, you didn't. I hope he transfers to another department soon because you are on the verge of breaking that rule to smithereens, my friend.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

LOL No, you didn't. I hope he transfers to another department soon because you are on the verge of breaking that rule to smithereens, my friend.

No, I didn't. Did you read the rest of the post? Inviting a colleague to a IT Security association meeting/speaker isn't exactly asking someone out..lol.

Congrats Tony!

[TonyB06]

Originally Posted by dreamseeker

So were you the exception to your own perceived rule, or did you not wear your rings in your first marriage?

Nooo. (Maybe I wrote a poorly worded first post...) In my first marriage I wore my ring. Marriages succeed/fail for a host of reasons. Very seldom, IMO, did/does wearing a ring have anything to do with it. My comment earlier was that in my experience most people I know wear rings, and from what I know of the friendship appear happy. Rings are/are not causal to happiness, but most married people I know wear them. ...didn't think it was that complicated.

[TonyB06]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

lol
Ya know, I was just thinking that you've got to be pulling your hair out right about now. I'm glad you're not letting it stress you out, though.

Thanks, CG. Generally, I don't let much fluster me, so I'm taking all of this weeks' last minute hecticness (<--this weeks made up word of the day) in stride; it'll dissipate after Saturday. Some of my friends, frat brothers, co-workers, etc. are teasing at times, but my wife-to-be is all I could imagine and more than I could post here, so it's good!

And of course, trading the dreary rain outside my window for a weeks' cruise in the Bahamas ain't too bad either, so there is that.

Originally Posted by christiangirl

I just saw this! Congrats, man.

Thanks a lot, CG.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

(Maybe I wrote a poorly worded first post...)

--->

Originally Posted by TonyB06

My comment earlier was that in my experience most people I know wear rings, and from what I know of the friendship appear happy...didn't think it was that complicated.

The bolded is why it is "that complicated."

TonyB06 wore a ring in his first marriage not because the marriage was "happy" enough to survive but because wearing a ring was important for whatever reason.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

hecticness (<--this weeks made up word of the day)

Week's Word of the Day? That made me laugh more than hecticness.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

Well, first, you've misread my post. I'm divorced but remarrying this weekend (not renewing).

Secondly, I didnt suggest that there aren't people who don't wear rings that are not happily married. I said it's not been what I've seen consistently.

If you want to challenge what I say, please read/understand it first.
I'll make any assertion(s) I choose to make. This is Greekchat. People freely share assertions, opinions all the time. You're free to refute, ignore what I post, but I decide what I post.

Congrats on your second marriage, then. But you did say that your assertion was "the rule."

If it's "the rule," certainly there's data to back it up. Otherwise it wouldn't be "the rule." You could say that "well I've noticed that most of my friends wear rings" and that would be your opinion. Stating that your experience is "the rule" is an assertion not based in fact. Perhaps you should work harder at backing your opinions up, as it seems to me that the decision to wear or not wear rings is something that's individual to each couple, as are their reasons for choosing to do so or to not do so, but there may not necessarily be "a rule" because of all the individual factors, unless we want to launch into a discussion regarding the historical nature of wearing wedding rings and why it was much more common for women to wear them than it was for men.

I don't need a reading comprehension lesson. You give out wisdom on marriage and relationships so freely that I assumed the 13 years was the first 13 years of this marriage. Not so much a reading comprehension fail as a jumping to conclusions fail, based on your previous posts. If you posted somewhere that you were divorced and planning your second marriage, I missed it. We can't all read everything posted on GC, and only a very select few have found any success at keeping files on random GreekChatters that they'll probably never meet in real life.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by AGDee

No, I didn't. Did you read the rest of the post? Inviting a colleague to a IT Security association meeting/speaker isn't exactly asking someone out..lol.

I know! I was poking at how much that first sentence is nothing like how the rest of the post went. That's also why I stuck my cyber-tongue out at you.

So I heard a bit of randomness that was post-worthy. I was out with friends at a restaurant Friday or Saturday night and there was a couple to the right of our table. They had drinks and it was loud enough that I didn't hear everything they were saying but the tables were pretty close together. I could see them leaning very close to each other and smiling. I heard him mention something about going back to his place later. I didn't hear what her response was because she spoke more quietly than he did but he responded with lots of reasons why she should come home with him. As the conversation went on, her smile slid away and he seemed more and more agitated until he yelled "But I just spent $8 on that drink!" The next time I looked, he had pushed all the way back in his chair with his arms folded. A few minutes later, she left the table and didn't come back.

If I had to take a guess about what happened, I'd say we've talked about that situation in this thread a lot. But this is the first time I've witnessed the "But I bought you...!" in action (if that's what it was).

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

As the conversation went on, her smile slid away and he seemed more and more agitated until he yelled "But I just spent $8 on that drink!" The next time I looked, he had pushed all the way back in his chair with his arms folded. A few minutes later, she left the table and didn't come back.

Whoa. He expected a roll in the hay after an $8 drink? Not only is dude an a-hole, he's a cheap one at that.

[TonyB06]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

So I heard a bit of randomness that was post-worthy. I was out with friends at a restaurant Friday or Saturday night and there was a couple to the right of our table. They had drinks and it was loud enough that I didn't hear everything they were saying but the tables were pretty close together..... I heard him mention something about going back to his place later. I didn't hear what her response was because she spoke more quietly than he did but he responded with lots of reasons why she should come home with him. As the conversation went on, her smile slid away and he seemed more and more agitated until he yelled "But I just spent $8 on that drink!" The next time I looked, he had pushed all the way back in his chair with his arms folded. A few minutes later, she left the table and didn't come back.

If I had to take a guess about what happened, I'd say we've talked about that situation in this thread a lot. But this is the first time I've witnessed the "But I bought you...!" in action (if that's what it was).

That's so sad it's almost funny. Was she mad at the quid-pro-quo of it or tha fact that he put her value at something less than two Big Mac value meals?

And he didn't play his last resort card right (the arms folded.) Everybody knows your have to throw your table napkin down on the table in disgust first to get the full effect.

Originally Posted by AGDee

Congrats Tony!

Thanks, AGDee. I didn't see this yesterday. (Are you going to suggest co-worker and you go to dinner after the certification event?)

So I get home yesterday and my dad had driven up from North Carolina and is waiting at my house. (gotta love retired people, they just up and do WTH they wanna do!)

Me: Dad, wha.. what are you doing here? I didn't expect you until Thursday or Friday?

Dad: Well, I just felt like getting in the car and riding, so I came up. (to be fair, he'd stopped in Cincy Monday to check on family, see some friends and check on rental property, ...but still)

add checklist item #435,432 to do this week: occupy dad.

[I2K Beta Mu]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

Well, first, you've misread my post. I'm divorced but remarrying this weekend (not renewing).

That's good shit. Congrats.

Originally Posted by AGDee

No, I didn't. Did you read the rest of the post? Inviting a colleague to a IT Security association meeting/speaker isn't exactly asking someone out..lol.

You play too many damn games. For real.

Originally Posted by christiangirl

So I heard a bit of randomness that was post-worthy. I was out with friends at a restaurant Friday or Saturday night and there was a couple to the right of our table. They had drinks and it was loud enough that I didn't hear everything they were saying but the tables were pretty close together. I could see them leaning very close to each other and smiling. I heard him mention something about going back to his place later. I didn't hear what her response was because she spoke more quietly than he did but he responded with lots of reasons why she should come home with him. As the conversation went on, her smile slid away and he seemed more and more agitated until he yelled "But I just spent $8 on that drink!" The next time I looked, he had pushed all the way back in his chair with his arms folded. A few minutes later, she left the table and didn't come back.

If I had to take a guess about what happened, I'd say we've talked about that situation in this thread a lot. But this is the first time I've witnessed the "But I bought you...!" in action (if that's what it was).

Females always want a dude to pay for the meal, drinks, etc. but don't want to give dude anything in return. If I were dude I wouldn't have pressured her like that, but if we had been kickin for a minute and she still wasn't trying to come over to the crib, I'd be cool with that, but the next time we went out to a movie, dinner or some shit, we'd go dutch. Fuck that.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by I2K Beta Mu

Females always want a dude to pay for the meal, drinks, etc. but don't want to give dude anything in return. If I were dude I wouldn't have pressured her like that, but if we had been kickin for a minute and she still wasn't trying to come over to the crib, I'd be cool with that, but the next time we went out to a movie, dinner or some shit, we'd go dutch. Fuck that.

For starters, the "give dude anything in return" is the companionship. It is also the gratification that most men receive when they have paid for something and feel they have made a good impression. It is not, however, feeling obligated to come over to a man's house/invite him to your house or giving physical satisfaction. Get a sex worker if you need house calls and oral copulation for your money.

As for the paying deal, there are women like myself who have no problem splitting costs in half or paying for both of us. However, there are men who were completely insulted when I offered to pay for myself or for the both of us. They saw that as my being controlling (only men are allowed to be controlling--it's called masculinity and patriarchy), bitter at men over something, and a "ballkicker" who is saying that the man either doesn't have the balls to pay or cannot afford to pay. Both men and women perpetuate this notion that men are the monetary providers. Don't pretend that the average man is eager to lose the perceived admiration and dominance that comes with picking up the tab.

[AlwaysSAI]

Mr. KDR is coming over tonight!! I'm so excited! I don't know why....I just saw him on Saturday. I can't wait!!! I'm giddy!!!

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

Thanks, AGDee. I didn't see this yesterday. (Are you going to suggest co-worker and you go to dinner after the certification event?)



add checklist item #435,432 to do this week: occupy dad.

He actually asked me if it includes dinner (because the other association does, but also costs $25 to attend) and I let him know that it does, although it doesn't include beer and wine like the *other* association does.

Sounds like your dad was excited for you and possibly bored and lonely. Give him some of things from your "To do" list to help with If it were me, that's why I'd really be there early.. to help out.

I2K: I'm not playing any games. I invited a co-worker to attend a professional association meeting for an organization that he said a couple weeks ago he was thinking about joining. I'd have done the same for any co-worker who had indicated interest and have made the same offer to former co-workers and classmates of mine. Only game I'm playing is with GCers, by saying I had asked him out...lol.


I've been listening to a co-worker make excuses for her "boyfriend" who hasn't contacted her in almost two weeks now. They have had an online relationship for about a year now, have not met in person and were starting to talk about him moving to Canada or the US to be closer to her. Then *poof*, he stopped contacting her. He has posted to mutual friends of theirs on Facebook though. She keeps mentioning possible reasons why he hasn't been in touch and it has made me realize how pathetic I must have sounded when I was making excuses for Hockey Dad all that time. Sometimes, we just don't want to accept what we know deep down.