Should I Colonize Or Wait 'til Next Fall...

[wsucalsigmakapp]

If you're referring to the school in your username than yes.

That would be the one I was thinking of!!! And there is a good chance it will be cold!! I have been to football games over Labor Day in Pullman with snow on the ground!!! Best of luck, I love WSU stories!!!

[AXOmom]

Originally Posted by 33girl

It also rains a lot. Rain + white shoes = hot mess (regardless of the time of year)

Lane Swerve

Not at all relevant to the OP's issue and completely nitpicky, but since I lived in the area of this school for quite some time, and we're a little sensitive about the subject...contrary to what many think, the whole state is not rainy and the side of the state where this school is located is fairly dry....it's precipitation generally comes in the form of snow....but that would be an equally valid reason NOT to wear white shoes, and I concur that it shouldn't be done...of course that may just be the middle age mother in me.

[wsucalsigmakapp]

Originally Posted by AXOmom

Lane Swerve

Not at all relevant to the OP's issue and completely nitpicky, but since I lived in the area of this school for quite some time, and we're a little sensitive about the subject...contrary to what many think, the whole state is not rainy and the side of the state where this school is located is fairly dry....it's precipitation generally comes in the form of snow....but that would be an equally valid reason NOT to wear white shoes, and I concur that it shouldn't be done...of course that may just be the middle age mother in me.

Great point, it can be cold, but does not get the rain that the west side gets! =)

[Alpha O]

I'm glad you're working on practicing conversations with your floor mates! That's a great step and probably the #1 thing you should focus on, because conversations are such a big part of recruitment. If I may suggest another exercise, since you have some time before recruitment, I think you could try to work up to making conversations with random people you see around campus, maybe when you see someone you've never met in line at the dining hall or if you sit next to someone in class you've never met before. That might sound kind of strange, but I think it would prepare you really well for recruitment. You obviously don't have to do this if it makes you uncomfortable, it's just a thought.

If it helps you, you should know that whenever I have talked to a PNM I have always been genuinely interested in her and on her side. I am sure that many other sorority women are this way during recruitment. We all love our sisterhoods and are interested in recruiting members who will share our values and what we stand for. Because of that, we are really interested in what these women think and what they have to say and how they relate to the world. We want to find people to join our sisterhood--that's why we're doing recruitment in the first place. I hope that makes you feel more comfortable.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by AXOmom

Lane Swerve

Not at all relevant to the OP's issue and completely nitpicky, but since I lived in the area of this school for quite some time, and we're a little sensitive about the subject...contrary to what many think, the whole state is not rainy and the side of the state where this school is located is fairly dry....it's precipitation generally comes in the form of snow....but that would be an equally valid reason NOT to wear white shoes, and I concur that it shouldn't be done...of course that may just be the middle age mother in me.

Oh, see, I've heard that the locals like that rumor because it keeps the rest of us from moving there :-)

[pinksequins]

West of the Cascades. East is whole different climate.

Originally Posted by Alpha O

If it helps you, you should know that whenever I have talked to a PNM I have always been genuinely interested in her and on her side. I am sure that many other sorority women are this way during recruitment. We all love our sisterhoods and are interested in recruiting members who will share our values and what we stand for. Because of that, we are really interested in what these women think and what they have to say and how they relate to the world. We want to find people to join our sisterhood--that's why we're doing recruitment in the first place. I hope that makes you feel more comfortable.

Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I meant to reply earlier but I'd rather reply on my computer than on my phone (just my personal preference). I think it's an insecurity thing with me but it's something that I struggle with a lot. I don't like to over stay my welcome, impose in anyway and just assume that people don't typically have an interest in me. Because of this, I do realize that I've missed out on some fun opportunities but I'm just really afraid of rejection.

For example, last weekend there was a football game (I love football), and even though I didn't have anyone to go with, I went anyways (wasn't going to let that stop me)! But the cool thing was, as I was standing by myself in the bleachers, a girl from one of my classes invited me over to hang out with her and her friends. It felt so nice and we all had a great time and after the game they were talking about going bowling. They directly invited me to join but after the game was over I slipped into the crowd and just went back to my dorm. Why would I do this? I was afraid they were only being nice by inviting me and I didn't want to ruin their night if I had just been imagining that we were all having a good time. Later on Facebook, the girl who originally invited me over told me that they were confused about where I had went off to and that they were serious about inviting me to bowling. I don't know why I can't just relax and believe this, but it's something that I'm working on.

That and I wouldn't say I'm completely unattractive but, the way I perceive my looks, especially when I'm talking to someone who I find extremely pretty and personable makes me feel that much uglier and I wonder, "Why are they even wasting their time with me?"

Because, maybe this is just me but I don't always feel like "bullying" is as much about what is said and done these days but by what isn't said. I've been trying out for this sport's team on campus for the past couple of weeks and on the first day, most of the girls wouldn't mind talking to me but now it's gotten to the point that certain girls won't even look my way anymore. Or if I ask them a question, they'll give me a one word answer and turn their back on me. I honestly don't get it! And it hurts my feelings much more than if they would just come out and tell me that they didn't want to talk to me. When it's silent treatment, I can only assume I'm either imagining it or they really feel this way.

Sorry about the lengthy tangent, but again, thank you for your input. Deep down I'm really shy and afraid of rejection but, typically what you see on the outside is someone who is always willing to talk and have a conversation. I typically find it easier at first to get along with people who are older than me but some of my best friends are a couple years younger. They just had to warm up to me first.

[DubaiSis]

I have to stray in here. Not being friends =/= bullying. While there is some bullying that is terrible and unforgivable, having a group of girls not talk to you is not in that category.

It sounds like you have some serious confidence issues, and I would seek counseling on this ASAP, especially if you can get in a couple sessions before recruitment starts. Your student health people should be able to help with that.

[Dnpgopenguins]

Student health on this campus is called student death, but for counseling I think you might be good.

[1964Alum]

Oh, yes. Trust me, I always feel like I can go into a conversation with absolute confidence and I do pretty well up until the part where I start speaking a little more than a few sentences. I get very intimidated by beautiful women and I start to think as I'm speaking that I must be boring them to death and they're only nodding their heads to be nice and look interested...needless to say, I'm definitely working with some of my floor mates on practicing the conversations I'll be having! XD

What a fantastic opportunity for you! PiPhi is a wonderful organization!

Now about those beautiful women who intimidate you.....Many of my closest friends have been and still are knock-out gorgeous, beauty pageant-winning, all of their lives heads-turning women. Now I am by no means unattractive (even in my dotage ), but I have never been in the same league as them. But you know what? Women like this often have the most difficult time in making friends with other women as both men and women alike tend to look upon them primarily in terms of their looks! Many women don't want them around their boyfriends/husbands because they can't keep their eyes off off them. But these stunningly beautiful women want the same things we all do: to feel loved, valued, and worth while. And can find the distance that others may keep them at troublesome.

[ree-Xi]

Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I meant to reply earlier but I'd rather reply on my computer than on my phone (just my personal preference). I think it's an insecurity thing with me but it's something that I struggle with a lot. I don't like to over stay my welcome, impose in anyway and just assume that people don't typically have an interest in me. Because of this, I do realize that I've missed out on some fun opportunities but I'm just really afraid of rejection.

>>It's great that you realize this. Now you need to stop doing it. I know that it's not easy. I've been this girl. In a way, you need to think the reverse - "are people that concerned with me and nitpicky that they're going to spend all of their time examining and judging me?" The answer is likely, no. All of us want to be loved, included, and wanted. Some of us with confidence problems think that the people are always thinking x or y about us, when in reality, they're likely more worried about how they themselves are coming across!

For example, last weekend there was a football game (I love football), and even though I didn't have anyone to go with, I went anyways (wasn't going to let that stop me)! But the cool thing was, as I was standing by myself in the bleachers, a girl from one of my classes invited me over to hang out with her and her friends. It felt so nice and we all had a great time and after the game they were talking about going bowling. They directly invited me to join but after the game was over I slipped into the crowd and just went back to my dorm. Why would I do this? I was afraid they were only being nice by inviting me and I didn't want to ruin their night if I had just been imagining that we were all having a good time. Later on Facebook, the girl who originally invited me over told me that they were confused about where I had went off to and that they were serious about inviting me to bowling. I don't know why I can't just relax and believe this, but it's something that I'm working on.

>>This is a perfect example. How do you think the girls felt after inviting you to go out with them, and then you bailed without even saying "goodbye"? If someone did that to you, what would you think? I'd probably think that the person thought they were too good for me/us and acted like a b*tch. In a way, I see the self-preservation tactic - screw them before they screw you. But that's what you did.

That and I wouldn't say I'm completely unattractive but, the way I perceive my looks, especially when I'm talking to someone who I find extremely pretty and personable makes me feel that much uglier and I wonder, "Why are they even wasting their time with me?"

>>There is no physical attribute of the human body that makes you any less or more deserving of friendship or human interaction (well, unless you didn't bathe for weeks and emitted some odor). But seriously, what is so "bad" about you that you think that you're worth any less than anyone else? People can sense low confidence, but read it as so many other things.

Because, maybe this is just me but I don't always feel like "bullying" is as much about what is said and done these days but by what isn't said. I've been trying out for this sport's team on campus for the past couple of weeks and on the first day, most of the girls wouldn't mind talking to me but now it's gotten to the point that certain girls won't even look my way anymore. Or if I ask them a question, they'll give me a one word answer and turn their back on me. I honestly don't get it! And it hurts my feelings much more than if they would just come out and tell me that they didn't want to talk to me. When it's silent treatment, I can only assume I'm either imagining it or they really feel this way.

>>Perhaps these girls who are giving you one-word answers are themselves worried about their skills and potential for making the sports team? I've been in competitive situations (not sports, but auditions), and sometimes it's a "every woman for herself" situation. Most people are worried about themselves when trying to make a team/cast/league/whatever.

Sorry about the lengthy tangent, but again, thank you for your input. Deep down I'm really shy and afraid of rejection but, typically what you see on the outside is someone who is always willing to talk and have a conversation. I typically find it easier at first to get along with people who are older than me but some of my best friends are a couple years younger. They just had to warm up to me first.

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I have to stray in here. Not being friends =/= bullying. While there is some bullying that is terrible and unforgivable, having a group of girls not talk to you is not in that category.

It sounds like you have some serious confidence issues, and I would seek counseling on this ASAP, especially if you can get in a couple sessions before recruitment starts. Your student health people should be able to help with that.

I have to agree with my sister, I didn't see any bullying from what you wrote, but if that's your perception, you need to either reassess the situation, or figure out whether it's worth your time.

I also agree that you might look into talk therapy. I have a feeling that you're lashing out or building walls so that nobody hurts you, and you're only hurting yourself in the process.

Good luck!

[33girl]

Every unpleasant interaction between people is not bullying. To call it that downgrades the pain of people who really ARE being bullied. These girls just don't like you. Shake it off and move on.

I had a really, really hard time believing at first that guys really did find me attractive because the attention I'd received previously had been more like guys sending me a "love note" to see if I was stupid enough to believe it. Now I look back and wonder if really they weren't serious. They took the time to do it, after all. If someone's taking the time to engage you, they want to be with you. Get over the "I don't trust a club that would have me as a member" mindset.

Sorry if I offended anyone about how I viewed bullying. If that's the case, I haven't really been bullied.

Also, counseling isn't a bad idea. I used to go to counseling when I was struggling with depression from working the night shift at our local grocery store. It felt really nice having someone to talk to but, needless to say, after they moved me to day shifts, I was able to wean myself off of my anti-depressants and counseling and went back to my normal. I'll admit, while I was going through counseling, we focused more on my touchy relationship with my boyfriend at the time instead of diving into other challenges I face in other social situations. Back then though, my work paid for my counseling, so I'm not sure how it works here. Didn't someone mention Health & Wellness?

[FSUZeta]

Go to the campus health center and see how much, or if, you have to pay for counseling there.