Legacy with active sister, rushing in the fall

bmb05 · #1 06-01-2009, 02:14 AM

Hi, I'm new to greekchat, and I'm rushing in the fall at a big state school with competitive greek life. My older sister is a junior at the same university I'll be attending and plegded a sorority her freshman year. From what I know about it, I like her sorority and would probably be happy with it, but I want to have a chance to make my own decision. I'm afraid I won't be able to make my own decision once other sororities see I am a double legacy (grandma as well) at this sorority, and that all the sororities I'm interested in except this one sorority will cut me and I'll really have no say in what house I join. I've heard if you're in this situation (with an active sister), you have to cut the sorority really early in order to have a chance of pledging another sorority. I don't want to do this, as I am interested in my sister's sorority. What are your all's thoughts? Has anyone been in/ known someone in this situation and what happened? Thanks in advance!

VandalSquirrel · #2 06-01-2009, 02:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmb05

Hi, I'm new to greekchat, and I'm rushing in the fall at a big state school with competitive greek life. My older sister is a junior at the same university I'll be attending and plegded a so called "top 3" sorority her freshman year. From what I know about it, I like her sorority and would probably be happy with it, but I want to have a chance to make my own decision. I'm afraid I won't be able to make my own decision once other sororities see I am a double legacy (grandma as well) at this sorority, and that all the "good" sororities except this one sorority will cut me and I'll really have no say in what house I join. I've heard if you're in this situation (with an active sister), you have to cut the sorority really early in order to have a chance of pledging another sorority. I don't want to do this, as I am interested in my sister's sorority. What are your all's thoughts? Has anyone been in/ known someone in this situation and what happened? Thanks in advance!

I think you need to go to rush and decide for yourself what the "good" sororities are before you let other people make up your mind for you. Just because you're a double legacy doesn't mean you'll get a bid to that chapter. You need to be open to all chapters, and honestly if I heard of a legacy or PNM speaking this way before they even went to rush, it would be a HUGE red flag to me, and this sort of attitude may work against you.

Don't listen to anyone but yourself once you meet all the chapters, whether or not other people think they are "good" or not.

AOII Angel · #3 06-01-2009, 05:36 AM

bmb05,

I, too, was a legacy with a sister currently at my university when I went through recruitment. Stop worrying so much about what might happen at recruitment. I think that deciding on an action plan before you actually meet the sororities is a bad idea. I would NOT advise you to cut your legacy chapter unless you really can't see yourself being your sister's sorority sister (which has a list of benefits of it's own!) Since you will not be able to hide your legacy status, just make sure that you mention that you are trying to keep an open mind and don't just want to follow in your sister's footsteps. You may be surprised to learn that getting another chapter's double legacy may be a trophy for another chapter. If the other chapters do release you because you are a double legacy, it was their decision to make. They won't know which chapters you are choosing to return to everyday, so I can't see how cutting your legacy chapter would help you.

KSUViolet06 · #4 06-01-2009, 08:02 AM

I think you should wait until you actually go through recruitment before you start labeling the sororities as "good or bad." It's a little rude.

To be honest, just be open-minded and don't act like "snobby little sister of sorority active who doesn't want to be bothered with any of us."

My school was one where girls often got bids to chapters other than their legacy sorority (even with active older sisters in the chapter).

violetpretty · #5 06-01-2009, 08:07 AM

You can't worry about things that are out of your control, like getting cut from other chapters (presumably) because you are a legacy. All you can do is emphasize that you are your own person and want to make your own decision.

gee_ess · #6 06-01-2009, 09:00 AM

The OP will, more than likely, experience exactly what she is describing. At large competitive (Greek) schools, the sisters of active members tend to be cut earlier. Everyone assumes she will follow her sister/mother so they let her go early.
If the PNM has made it clear throughout the summer or it is stated in her recs, that she is open minded and very interested in looking at other groups, she may have a better chance at returning to later rounds.See AOPi Angel's advice:

Quote:

You may be surprised to learn that getting another chapter's double legacy may be a trophy for another chapter.

Take the advice from earlier posters - be nice, do not worry about what you cannot control. Let it be known that you are interested in getting to know other houses and that you do not want everyone to assume you will be pledging with your sister. BUT do not discuss the other houses - that would be rude. Let all of your comments be about how excited you are to go through recruitment and how fun it will be to meet new people, etc. Accentuate the positive.

bmb05 · #7 06-01-2009, 10:25 AM

Sorry if I offended anyone with the choice of words...I was hoping the quotes would emphasize that "top 3" IS silly, but it's just what I've heard. I realize there's no legitimate tier system or anything and to say one house is better than another is rude. I'll do a little editing. Same with the "good," I should have explained I understand all are good, it just depends what you're like and where you fit in. I really didn't mean to be rude. I realize all sororities have great things to offer and it just depends on where one feels she belongs. I plan to give every house a chance (if they let me) and go in open-minded like many of you have said. I like what you said gee_ess, I definitely will try to accentuate the positive! Thanks for everyone's help; I really do appreciate it!

texas*princess · #8 06-01-2009, 11:23 AM

I think you need to CALM DOWN and not freak out about it so much.

WhiteRose1912 · #9 06-01-2009, 02:29 PM

I think her concern is legitimate. She asked a question, got some good answers, apologized for coming across the wrong way and thanked people for responding. Where's the freaking out?

Good luck during recruitment, bmb05.

indygphib · #10 06-01-2009, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteRose1912

I think her concern is legitimate. She asked a question, got some good answers, apologized for coming across the wrong way and thanked people for responding. Where's the freaking out?

Good luck during recruitment, bmb05.

Agreed. I also send along my best wishes for your recruitment, bmb05. Please continue to keep an open mind throughout the process and hopefully thinks will work out your way.

sassygal · #11 06-01-2009, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmb05

Hi, I'm new to greekchat, and I'm rushing in the fall at a big state school with competitive greek life. My older sister is a junior at the same university I'll be attending and plegded a sorority her freshman year. From what I know about it, I like her sorority and would probably be happy with it, but I want to have a chance to make my own decision. I'm afraid I won't be able to make my own decision once other sororities see I am a double legacy (grandma as well) at this sorority, and that all the sororities I'm interested in except this one sorority will cut me and I'll really have no say in what house I join. I've heard if you're in this situation (with an active sister), you have to cut the sorority really early in order to have a chance of pledging another sorority. I don't want to do this, as I am interested in my sister's sorority. What are your all's thoughts? Has anyone been in/ known someone in this situation and what happened? Thanks in advance!

Bmb05- I wouldn't believe every thing you hear! Go through recruitment act interested, be yourself, stay open minded and have fun.

OleMissGlitter · #12 06-01-2009, 05:42 PM

Just be yourself. I saw two legacies go through last year at a big competitive Southern University and they did their own thing. They didn't release their legacy house, they just ranked another house higher after pref parties. Therefore, they pledged something different than their older sisters. Were their older sisters upset? Yes but they also realized that not even siblings have the same tastes in sororities sometimes! (I know a family where each sister pledged something different at Newcomb College of Tulane!)

So first of all, take a deep breath and just go with your heart. If your heart says to do what your grandmother and sister did, then do that. If not pick a sorority that makes you feel comfortable. Your recruitment experience is just that, YOUR own experience! If your sister's sorority makes you feel great and happy then keep them as an option! I wouldn't release your legacy house either. But that's just my two cents!

D_Crayola_Z · #13 06-01-2009, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I think you need to go to rush and decide for yourself what the "good" sororities are before you let other people make up your mind for you. Just because you're a double legacy doesn't mean you'll get a bid to that chapter. You need to be open to all chapters, and honestly if I heard of a legacy or PNM speaking this way before they even went to rush, it would be a HUGE red flag to me, and this sort of attitude may work against you.

Don't listen to anyone but yourself once you meet all the chapters, whether or not other people think they are "good" or not.

I would just like to point out that if you dont get a bid from a house that you're a legacy in they MUST MUST MUST have a veryyy good reason why they're not giving a bid. It's pretty much a done deal unless the actives know - and have good reason to back up the claim - that the legacy wont fit in.

ThetaDancer · #14 06-01-2009, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D_Crayola_Z

I would just like to point out that if you dont get a bid from a house that you're a legacy in they MUST MUST MUST have a veryyy good reason why they're not giving a bid. It's pretty much a done deal unless the actives know - and have good reason to back up the claim - that the legacy wont fit in.

That's just bad advice. You're way out of line here. You don't know a damn thing about how any organization other than your own selects members. Furthermore, at some schools where a ton of legacies rush, it would be nearly impossible for some chapters to accept every legacy.

KSUViolet06 · #15 06-01-2009, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D_Crayola_Z

I would just like to point out that if you dont get a bid from a house that you're a legacy in they MUST MUST MUST have a veryyy good reason why they're not giving a bid. It's pretty much a done deal unless the actives know - and have good reason to back up the claim - that the legacy wont fit in.

This is FALSE.

A legacy should NEVER expect a bid.

I've seen in house legacies get cut from their sister's chapter before--and I don't even go to a competitive school.