Not sure if I should start looking at other houses or not

[Jayzzz]

I have sort of a unique situation here...so bear with me, it's probably gonna be long. I'd appreciate any advice.

I'm a sophomore. I pledged during Fall '12, however when it came time for initiation I did not make the GPA cut (2.5) by a large margin (<1.5). First semester got the best of me, and my pledge class overall had a pretty rough pledgeship, they ended up lowering the standard to 2.3 for initiation since so many of us did poorly.

Myself and 5 other of my pledge brothers returned for the spring semester as neophytes, basically doing the duties of pledges until the spring pledge class was pinned, and the occasional chore after that..really only when we got in trouble. We still had to make GPA. They set the bar for us at 2.75 since we did poorly 1st semester. I was on track to make a solid GPA of around a 3.0-3.1, however I was in a 5 credit course with two exams - midterm and final, and absolutely tanked the final. My final GPA was a 2.5. I was not initiated due to not making a 2.75, even though our bylaws state the bar is at 2.5, and the 2.75 was really just what our E-Board wanted our GPAs to be. Our E-Board really didnt know what to do, because historically our neophytes either made grades or completely blew it. Chapter President liked me and wanted to initiate me, but our Membership Chair in charge of the new member program decided not to initiate me, largely because he doesn't like me. That was a fact, too. It caused a huge internal problem afterwards since there is an active vote for initiation and I made the vote for both semesters.

Anyway, I didn't get initiated and I'm still pretty pissed since a couple of my pledge brothers were initiated with 2.3s. I was a pretty popular guy I'd say, and I honestly can't think of a single thing I did to be disliked by our Chair, I never put the house in danger by being stupid or by being an asshole. My parents had also made a donations to renovate our front yard, and were in talks for donating for additional projects. I tried to be pretty involved.

They told me that I'm welcome to come over to the house and party whenever I want, and everyone has always been happy to see me. We have a number of guys who didnt get initiated that are still welcome. However, as the semester's gone on I've been going over less and less, and really losing touch with my pledge brothers except for the 2-3 I was closest with. My friends I hang out with daily are actives who were in the pledge class a year before mine. I pledged in a weird time in the houses history, they were transitioning from a small house to a large house. My pledge class alone was bigger than 60% of the active chapter, and since then there has been an additional 60 guys including this semesters pledge class. The majority of the guys I hang out with live out of house, and the house just feels so saturated with all the new bodies. Seniors and juniors are very uninvolved because the house and house policy is completely different from from there time. I've talked to some other guys who didn't get initiated, and while they're always welcome to the house too they said they feel the same way as I do about the state of the house and where they stand.

Anyway, I just don't have that brotherhood feel I used to have. Only a handful of actives told me that they view me as a brother.

I've been thinking about rushing another house either in the spring or next fall, however I'm still on the fence. I lived in the last house for a full year, so you could understand why I'd feel attached and unsure if I should move on.

I'm also unsure of how other houses would view my situation. I don't know any initiation rituals so there's no concern for my last house there. My cumulative GPA is low, but each semester shows steady improvement. I've also already had two high finance internships, one at a large asset management firm and the other in a front office position at an investment bank - so it's not like I don't have my shit together.

Any advice would be great

[FSUZeta]

Hmmmm... Unless your parents have a position guaranteed for you when you finish your degree, your GPA should be your first priority. Unless you have major connections, GPA does count when applying for jobs, even with successful internships.

I imagine that the other fraternities have GPA requirements, too, so I don't know that your success in getting a bid and going through initiation would be any better, but you never know. Some might be able to make an exception. I take it your parents are supportive of you pursuing fraternity membership despite your grades?

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Jayzzz

Anyway, I just don't have that brotherhood feel I used to have. Only a handful of actives told me that they view me as a brother.

Because you're not a brother. Sorry to be blunt, but that's the reality.

Forget these guys and focus on getting your grades up. Then, if you want to try again, try elsewhere.

[adpiucf]

This is not a unique situation. You didn't make grades. Twice. Pull your grades up to over a 3.0 and then rush again.

[ASTalumna06]

When I first clicked on this thread, I thought it was going to be about someone buying their first house...

Yes, I just posted to say how it's one of my pet peeves when someone constantly refers to a chapter as a "house"

And I've read/typed the word so much that it now looks and sounds weird to me...

[Psi U MC Vito]

Dude, they just don't want you. I would accept that and move on.

[33girl]

Excuses are like buttholes, everyone has one. You, on the other hand seem to have enough to drown all of Manhattan in poo.

[DTD Alum]

There are some points here that I find really confusing ("living in the house for the past year" despite not being an active, multiple semesters of pledgeship before initiation), but maybe it's a different campus culture or something.

Regardless, it's not about grades. You have proved this yourself, by showing that guys with a 2.3 got initiated. I'm not sure this house is a fit for you, and I think they may have shown you that.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by DTD Alum

There are some points here that I find really confusing ("living in the house for the past year" despite not being an active, multiple semesters of pledgeship before initiation), but maybe it's a different campus culture or something.

I was confused by the term "neophyte," too. I've only heard that term in an NPHC context.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I was confused by the term "neophyte," too. I've only heard that term in an NPHC context.

Some groups still use it to mean "completed pledging but not yet initiated." If they have to make grades before being officially initiated, it would make sense.

And if any parent tried to make a donation before their son/daughter was initiated, I think I'd want that particular pledge gone as soon as possible. It's inappropriate unless the parent has an additional tie to the GLO. Cookies yes, renovating the yard of what I'm assuming is a very large mansion EFF NO. It just smacks of trying to buy your way in.

[Jayzzz]

Wow, this thread really blew up.

I wasn't trying to come off as a douchbag, and I'm not really sure where I'm coming off as bragging? I'm aware that my old house doesn't want me, I'm not trying to make a case for trying to get back in or anything, I just provided the back story to get everyone up to speed - I think you all might be looking into it a little too much.

Somethings to clear up:
Neophyte - member who completes pledgeship with an above 60% chapter vote for initiation but fails to make grades.
This is also at a Big 12 school
Parents of new members were encouraged to get involved with the house. The houses front yard was completely empty when I moved in, so my family donated flowers, plot trees, mulch, and other gardening stuff which my pledge class then planted as a project.

If there's anything else I can clarify let me know.

What I wanted to find out is if other houses would even look at me if I rushed again, which would be this next Spring semester, or next Fall when I'm a Junior. I know that I need to pull my GPA up, and its looking good so far this semester. Over the summer I'll be retaking a couple courses I did badly in my freshman year and getting their grades replaced, so I should have a 3.0 or above by the start of next fall.

[FSUZeta]

I think bringing your grades up to a 3.0 will be a good thing. Re-take as many classes as you can to replace the low grades. Use your on campus study center, student or academic success center, find tutors, or whatever you need to pull up those grades. Good luck.

[Sciencewoman]

I don't like the vibe this chapter is sending you, and some of the others who apparently weren't initiated. I can see why they would want to raise GPA standards, but it seems like they're indiscriminately changing/applying the new standard when they decide who will get initiated...almost like you're having to go through rush again. Regardless, the message has been sent that they're not willing to make an exception for you.

I don't see anything wrong with parents making housing donations during the pledging period...you were already given a bid. The chapter I advise is building a new house right now, and trust me, we're happy to get donations from new members' parents as well as initiated members' parents.

I would work hard to raise your GPA and look elsewhere for membership. Do you know guys in other fraternities?

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Jayzzz

Wow, this thread really blew up.

I wasn't trying to come off as a douchbag, and I'm not really sure where I'm coming off as bragging? I'm aware that my old house doesn't want me, I'm not trying to make a case for trying to get back in or anything, I just provided the back story to get everyone up to speed - I think you all might be looking into it a little too much.

Somethings to clear up:
Neophyte - member who completes pledgeship with an above 60% chapter vote for initiation but fails to make grades.
This is also at a Big 12 school
Parents of new members were encouraged to get involved with the house. The houses front yard was completely empty when I moved in, so my family donated flowers, plot trees, mulch, and other gardening stuff which my pledge class then planted as a project.

If there's anything else I can clarify let me know.

What I wanted to find out is if other houses would even look at me if I rushed again, which would be this next Spring semester, or next Fall when I'm a Junior. I know that I need to pull my GPA up, and its looking good so far this semester. Over the summer I'll be retaking a couple courses I did badly in my freshman year and getting their grades replaced, so I should have a 3.0 or above by the start of next fall.

One risk of a detailed post to provide all the backstory is that the question you care about gets lost. When all was said and done, I read your post as asking whether you should stick with this fraternity or try a different one because you are, as you said, on the fence about it.

No one here can tell you whether all of this will matter to other chapters. The culture of every campus is different—on some it will matter and in others it might not. It also might matter how the fraternity you pledged is viewed; if they're seen as a chapter that doesn't treat pledges fairly, your situation might play differently from if they're seen as a great group of guys. There are just too many variables. If you have any friends whom you can trust in other chapters, they can give you the best guidance.

Good luck!

[33girl]

Sciencewoman - the chapter you advise is also (I'm guessing) not going to re-vote on NMs before they are initiated. That makes the situation a little different. I still think LARGE monetary donations are inappropriate.