sILMil20 rush story - Page 4

honeychile · #46 08-17-2005, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by silmilek20
I totally understand where u are coming from. It is not what the other girls are saying that is influencing me. I felt like they wanted me because I am a minority and I didn't really like that. Plus I just didn't feel that good a connection with the girls. They seemed like they were intimidated by me, and some seemed totally disinterested. So I'm confused. I did plan on going to Pref night. I don't want to just drop out. But I have my heart set on PepperAnn, so if I don't get it I don't wont to settle for 3rd out of 4. Doesn't seem like a good idea, since it is a lifelong deal. If anything I would want to go thru again and hopefully get one I really love.

There is no rule that I know of that says you need to list all four houses. If you honestly feel that PepperAnn is still the best house for you, then put PepperAnn first on your Bid Card, then Lizzie, then Doug. At a small school (or with a small Greek system), you could still be on PepperAnn & Lizzie's Bid List, just not on the top - and their first choices might choose someone else.

It's a somewhat complicated system that is used to determine actual bids, but I've seen some VERY strange things happen at Bid Matching!! The one thing you do not want to do is to put a sorority on your Bid Card which you absolutely do not want any part of. You can also note on a Bid Card that you would be open to COB. There won't be a space for that, per se, but it will show your openness.

Keep your chin up! The chapter I used to advise gets roughly half of their sisters through COB (which amazes me, since my chapter was so perfectly awful at it!!); COB just might release some of the "rush tension", on both you and the chapters!

AXO_MOM_3 · #47 08-17-2005, 10:03 PM

I second Honeychile. I participated in bid matching for my school for several years, and she is right, strange things CAN and do happen during that process! List all of your choices in order of preference, regardless of whether you attended the preference party or not. To reiterate Honeychile...if you know you do not want a bid from a particular group - DO NOT list them on your bid card!!

ilovemyglo · #48 08-17-2005, 10:50 PM

I am sorry you are so stressed about your rush experience so far.

I went to a prodominetly white school and when we had minorities rushing everyone got excited because we all wanted moire diversity within our chapters. To some it may have come off as liking someone for their race, but I can assure you no chapter will invite someone based on that!
I remember one girl that went through formal and she preffed my house and two others but she told us at pref that she could only see herself in our chapter or one of the others because we were so cool with her.. apparently some of the other chapters were so excited she felt like they only liked her because she was a minority. She pledged the other house but remained friends with many of our sisters. I still wish she had gone AGD- she was so fun and sweet. But never did it occur to us to be excited about her because of her race, we were excited she came back because she was freaking awesome! She deactivated from the other chapter within two years.

silmilek20 · #49 08-17-2005, 11:07 PM

But if I was cut doesn't that mean I can't put that sorority on my bid card. Pref isn't until tommorrow.

twhrider13 · #50 08-17-2005, 11:21 PM

You can put whoever you want on your pref card. That, however, doesn't guarantee that you'll get a bid from them.

silmilek20 · #51 08-17-2005, 11:26 PM

I thought you could only rank those that hadn't cut u. I'm confused. So I could just not put doug down and rank the other 2. Then possible still get a bid even though they cut me? That seems odd. And then if I don't get a bid what happens? Can I go thru again?

Taualumna · #52 08-17-2005, 11:59 PM

You can definitely go through again if you don't get a bid. Also, not all sororities are at total or quota at the end of formal, so you might end up on their COB (informal recruitment) list! Best of luck though!

p.s. which Lizzie cartoon character are you referring to? Elizabeth (Liz/Lizzie) Patterson from For Better or For Worse?

honeychile · #53 08-18-2005, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by silmilek20
I thought you could only rank those that hadn't cut u. I'm confused. So I could just not put doug down and rank the other 2. Then possible still get a bid even though they cut me? That seems odd. And then if I don't get a bid what happens? Can I go thru again?

As I said, it's a confusing system to someone who has never done it. You can list EVERY sorority, if you'd like. You can list only ONE sorority, if you'd like (but that's highly discouraged). You can list any number in between - but be sure to rank them in the order that you want to join them. Obviously, if you have ANY chemistry with Doug, I'd put them down, but maybe as third.

The sororities will be doing the same thing. Let's say that Lily, Rose, Violet, and Daisy are "THE" most popular PNMs. They may be at the very top of PepperAnn & Lizzie's bid list - so, whichever sorority they rank as their first choice, they'll get. BUT!! What if both PepperAnn & Lizzie do something so horrifying at Pref that Lily, Rose, Violet, and Daisy are grossed out by them? They may put Braveface or Doug as their first choice - which opens four slots in PepperAnn & Lizzie's bid lists! Now, let's say that, after the original Quota Bid List, you're the next one ranked by PepperAnn or Lizzie. Then, YOU would be the next person open to receive a bid from them - IF you have them ranked!

In a nutshell, what I'm saying is that there's no harm in trying. You may end up with Doug after all, or with Lizzie. But you'll never know unless you try. And again, with such a small system, I'd seriously jot that you're interested in COB on your Bid Card. I'd be shocked if all four sororities make Quota, and that one little statement will be a major step up for you. Sometimes, sororities are a little shy about contacting someone who didn't accept a bid, but saying that you'd consider COB will show that you're very approachable!

Edited to add: If I've given misinformation, for heaven's sake, somebody PLEASE explain it differently!! I do NOT want to mislead or misguide sILMIL20!!!

PKTKKG · #54 08-18-2005, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by twhrider13
You can put whoever you want on your pref card. That, however, doesn't guarantee that you'll get a bid from them.

I would suggest discussing this with your recruitment counselor first. Some systems have rules about who PNMs can list on their pref card. I saw one girl put her first choice down, and then put another choice that was a party that she did not attend. I don't think she got her first choice or her second one either.

I think all of this depends on the school, and I would highly recommend asking first what the constraints are so that you adhere to the rules that have been established.

Having said all that - best wishes!!

WhiteDaisy128 · #55 08-18-2005, 07:02 AM

I'm a little confused, sILMil20, have you been cut by PepperAnne yet or is all this worry just based on specualtion...wait until the dominos fall before you kill yourself over it (not literally, of course!!). No matter what, go to all of the pref parties you are invited to...THEN make the decision to sing a bid card or not sign one.

Goodluck!

AXO Alum · #56 08-18-2005, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AXO_MOM_3
I second Honeychile. I participated in bid matching for my school for several years, and she is right, strange things CAN and do happen during that process! List all of your choices in order of preference, regardless of whether you attended the preference party or not. To reiterate Honeychile...if you know you do not want a bid from a particular group - DO NOT list them on your bid card!!

Amen to that!! Our school ALWAYS tells PNM's to list all the sororities in order - they don't bother telling them the whole year obligation thing! We are really trying to work on that with panhell.

It is a hard process to figure out - but we have had people on our bid list that were both released by us in earlier rounds and people who regretted us in earlier rounds!

You should talk to your GREEK LIFE ADVISOR - I know recruitment counselors have training, but they are still collegiates, and they may not be fully aware of the process (hence why our school always has people listing all the sororities!!

)

Lindz928 · #57 08-18-2005, 09:45 AM

My recommendation would be if you are SURE that you do not want a bid from Doug, then do NOT include them on your pref card. If you DO receive a bid from them, and do not accept it, you will not be eligilble to be recruited for another year- meaning that if a chapter DOES do COB this fall, you will not be able to participate. You would have to wait for formal next fall.

So, it doesn't matter if you ACCEPT a bid so much as if you are OFFERED a bid. If you are not offerend one, then you are eligible for COB. Just something to keep in mind.

FYI- this is how it was a few years ago when I was really active with rush, so if it has changed, someone please correct me.

silmilek20 · #58 08-18-2005, 10:47 AM

Well I was cut from PepperAnn. So that leaves Doug for the Pref party. I really don't feel like I can connect or feel comfortable around these girls so I am soooo confused. Yesterday they kept asking me if I was coming back, which was real uncomfortable. I told them that that depended on them. And then they were like well we really want u to come back, so u should. Which I didn't think was allowed. The thing is I was struggling to hold a conversation with them, and them me, so I don't understand why they would want me. Anywho I don't know what to do. I knew aboiut the one year deal, so that is why I don't want them to offer me a bid. I don't think I would be happy with that decision. So what options are left?

Lindz928 · #59 08-18-2005, 11:01 AM

I would suggest going to their pref party, and then if you really don't want to be a part of the sorority, then don't pref them. I can tell that you have thought long and hard about this, and I would continue thinking about it. Talk to your recruitment counselors and get their advice about COB.

Bottom line.... You don't have to do anything you don't really want to do. If you honestly will not be happy there, then you don't have to join. Do what is in your heart. I will add that I was not the most excited about my option when I went through pref, or even bid day. But, I did grow to love it and I found my home and my sisters.

I am SO sorry that things have not worked out the way you were hoping.

Trust me, there are alot of ladies on here who have been in your shoes, and I promise things will work out the right way. You do always have next year if that is what you want to do.

Looking on the SHSU website, it looks like at least one of the chapters does spring rush. Have you thought about that? It definately might be something worth considering.

AXiDTrish · #60 08-18-2005, 11:03 AM

Can you go to Preference to see what Doug has to say and if you still aren't sold, not fill out a bid card? If so, (and I would check with your Recruitment Counselor on this to be sure before hand) then you would not be committing and should be allowed to COB if you don't sign a card. At least that's how our NPC did it when I was in school not so long ago.