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  #1  
Old 08-14-2008, 11:15 PM
LightBulb LightBulb is offline
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How soon after breaking up?

How long after a breakup do you wait before dating again?

I was in a serious relationship for years. I broke up with him a few months ago, and we still talk some (but not often). My ex is a good guy; we didn't break up due to cheating or anything like that, and we've stayed friends (though we don't talk very often).

I imagine that I'll start dating again before he does, but that made me wonder: What do you consider a respectful amount of time to wait before dating again after ending a serious relationship?
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  #2  
Old 08-15-2008, 01:03 AM
Kevin Kevin is offline
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It doesn't matter.

Today would probably be fine.
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:22 AM
cheerfulgreek cheerfulgreek is offline
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I think it just depends on you. I don't think there is a time limit.
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  #4  
Old 08-15-2008, 01:22 AM
AlwaysSAI AlwaysSAI is offline
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My last serious relationship ended two years ago. And, it ended badly. I've dated a few guys here and there but haven't had anything serious. There was one guy I was seeing for like 3 weeks, but I have yet to call anyone my boyfriend since my ex.

Whenever you think you are ready, really.
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:26 AM
FlaGirl07 FlaGirl07 is offline
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i dated a guy for two years. we broke up and i had a new boyfriend a week later. we've been together over 5 years now. basically, if you find someone you like, don't let your past hold you back.
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Old 08-15-2008, 02:06 AM
LucyKKG LucyKKG is offline
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I was thinking about this today, actually. I think it really depends on you and your emotions in regards to relationships in general. I'm not going to be ready for another relationship for a WHILE, but my ex and I broke up pretty recently. Again, it varies.
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Old 08-15-2008, 03:43 AM
piphiangel314 piphiangel314 is offline
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I think it really depends on when you're ready.

My high school boyfriend and I broke up from a 4 year off and on relationship. We broke up in December in a really rocky break up. He always treated me like crap, but I never realized it until our break up. So we currently aren't speaking and haven't since December.

In April, I was back in a relationship. A lot of people thought that was too soon, especially after being together for 4 years. Personally, I thought I was ready. And quite frankly, I'm the happiest I've been in a relationship.

Sorry for the lengthy explanation. :P
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Old 08-15-2008, 04:50 AM
PrettyBoy PrettyBoy is offline
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I waited 4 years, but that's just me.
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  #9  
Old 08-15-2008, 08:08 AM
Munchkin03 Munchkin03 is offline
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It depends on you and your individual relationship habits. I know that for me, I broke up with my ex of 5 years and was with someone else very soon after (like a matter of days). When that ended after 2 years--on my accord--I realized that I hadn't been single since I was 19, and I didn't realize how much I liked it! I basically took six months to spend time by MYSELF. Now, I'm starting to whittle it down and date more seriously.

It also depends on what you want out of your relationships and life.
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Old 08-15-2008, 10:00 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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LB: Do you mean dating, or having a new relationship? Two different things.
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  #11  
Old 08-15-2008, 12:00 PM
KSig RC KSig RC is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
LB: Do you mean dating, or having a new relationship? Two different things.
Yeah, exactly.

Do whatever you want - I don't even know what "respectful" means in this scenario. If you're still friends with the old guy, it's actually a pretty good litmus test of future friendship - if you can be open and honest with him in this area, you're good to go. If not, then at least you found out now.

If you're still even a little hung up on the past relationship (regardless of whether you ended it or he did), then you should probably date casually or sex up a bunch of randoms at the bar. Like Dan Savage famously said, every ml of someone else's saliva is worth one week of getting over a relationship. Until you're there, a serious relationship isn't all that fair, to you or to the other person. However, if you're good to go, then you're good to go.
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  #12  
Old 08-15-2008, 12:03 PM
AOII_LB93 AOII_LB93 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
LB: Do you mean dating, or having a new relationship? Two different things.

I completely agree. Long ago, before I was with my husband I was with a guy for two years, broke it off and within a matter of days was dating someone new. I think it was because I had mentally broken up with the ex long before I actually did it. I think a lot of women who do the breaking up do that...I don't know many women who break up on a whim, unless the guy was caught doing something he shouldn't have been.

If you feel ready to date again, by all means.
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  #13  
Old 08-15-2008, 12:16 PM
Fleur de Lis Fleur de Lis is offline
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It's been a few months and you are asking the question, so my guess is you're ready to start dating again. Don't worry about being disrespectful - you didn't start dating someone else before you broke up or anything. I kept talking to my ex for about a year after we broke up. It took me seeing someone else for us to finally break off all emotional ties.
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  #14  
Old 08-15-2008, 12:33 PM
LttleMsPrEp LttleMsPrEp is offline
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I agree with all the posts on this thread, I think that as long as you're mentally broken up from your ex it's okay to date anytime.

I was in a serious relationship for about 2 years and then we broke up to "experiment" but 2 years later he and I remained really good friends but we never mentally broke up from each other so it made it practically impossible to date anyone else. Finally i mentally broke up with him and I'm able to date without feeling guilty.

I say go for it, as long as you're over him and ready to move on
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  #15  
Old 08-15-2008, 06:13 PM
LightBulb LightBulb is offline
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Wow, I really appreciate all the perspectives y'all threw out there. Thanks so much for your honesty.

And in response to your question of dating vs. relationship, I don't really know yet. I haven't been on any dates yet. I would probably just start dating first, but it may lead to a relationship at some point. Then again, it might be fun to stay single for a little while. We'll see.
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